New Mom Seeking Advice

Get Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Carp! It worked wonders for us. It makes soooo much sense. I had 7 friends in my circle of friends that were all preggo within weeks of eachother and we all passed it along. Second thing I would say is to get a sound machine. They have a great one at Target and Bed Bath and Beyond. I forget the name, but it makes a heart beat, rain, and ocean sound and it displays images on the ceiling. My daughter loves it. Sorry I can't think of the name, but if you want it and have trouble finding it, shoot me a message and I will ask my hubby if he remembers. : ) Nevermind, here it is... Homedics Sound Spa Lullaby relaxation Machine. It is not that expensive, but it looks like Target is out of stock so try BB & Beyond. Best of luck and enjoy every moment! : )

Hi D....

Not much advice to offer here as I am a 30 yr old married new mom myself. My son is 6 weeks old.

But I have found babycenter.com to be very useful. Also, I really enjoyed the book "What to Expect When You're Exprecting." It answered a lot of my questions while I was pregnant.

And someone here referred it to me, but if you're planning on breastfeeding and working...workandpump.com

Congrats! Your in for the best ride of your lives. Having a first baby is not easy and it's exhausting, but it gets a little better as time goes by. Here are a couple of websites that have been great.

www.askdrsears.com
www.sleeplady.com

The SleepLady is great. Get as much info. now on getting your baby to sleep. I wish I would have gotten her book first and been better prepared. Mind you when you're exhausted and just want to sleep, you do whatever it takes. Our son did not like to sleep much during the day, minutes here and there and just wanted to nurse all the time. At night he would still nurse every 1 1/2 -2 hrs. So we ended up co-sleeping. I cried a lot the first couple of months from lack of sleep and exhaustion.

Books: What to Expect the First Year is awesome!!! It's the bible for new parents.

If you plan on making your own baby food, get a good food processor. That was my mistake. Store bought food is good, can be inexpensive especially if you get coupons and get them on sale.
Enlist the help of your husband. It's so awesome to see dad's involved with the baby. Changing diapers and giving baths, feeding. I tell you I fell in love with my husband all over again. It's great bonding for them too. Praise him for being such a great dad. Builds up their self esteem and will keep them helping. And of course helps you out.
Also, as tired and exhausted as you will be don't forget your relationship with your husband. You may not be able to be intimate at first and too tired when you can be, but try and make time for yourselves. Give him attention too. Sometimes a little goes along way. Our marriages are important and will make this new life change a little easier. Keep loving each other!!!!!! ;-) You know what, sometimes it was the middle of the night when we got some time together. So whenever you can sneak in some time for yourselves, do it. ;-) Your children will thank you for that.
Also, I kept a journal near me. Every time he did something new, I would write it down. You end up forgetting sometimes. Don't need to write an essay, just a few words. I also keep track of when he's sick, when it started, fever, rash, fussiness, etc. Helps when you go see the doctor.
One more thing, house work. Yes, you won't have time and you will be exhausted, but if you do a little here and there is better than letting it all pile up and then you stress out because it will take so long and have so much to do. Clorox wipes are great and quick and easy. If you could afford to have someone come help you that would be great too. I wish I had the money for that! Few friends had help from a maid and made such a difference. ;-)
Enjoy your beautiful baby. Remember, you can't spoil a baby. They need you.

Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your firstborn! Your lives will change forever and you will wonder how you ever lived before he was born. You have been give a lot of great advice. Learn to swaddle, it will save you and let you sleep! Don't get frustrated, if you feel overwhelmed, give yourself a break, take a timeout and breath. You, your husband and the baby are all new to each other and are learning together, soon you will all get it. Remember the dishes, cleaning or laundry can wait. Be patient, you will not know everything or learn everything in one day. And day to day, your baby's moods and activities will vary. Over the next year, your son will go through so many changes. The love and bond between a mother and her child is the most beautiful gift that God has given us! Enjoy motherhood and remember all us moms are here if you need help.

As of this moment - your life becomes all about the care of someone else. Your needs and desires are now secondary and will be for about the next seven years. Try to make as much love with your husband as possible, because the entire dynamic of your relationship is going to change - and I don't mean just the physical (because you won't have a solid uninterrupted 8 nights rest for years to come) but also the emotional.
De-clutter your life and home, clean out your friendships and stock up on "supportive" friends and family. My cousin hung up on me when I had to ask her to hold on a second, the baby was crying and I needed to pick him up. Join a MOMS Club, a MOPS group.
Get Harvey Karp. Listen to Dr. Laura. Later on take a parenting class.
We put up little post-it notes around the house, because he would cry and we would freak out. They said "boob, butt, burp " Does he need to eat, have a diaper change, be burbed?
Get a baby back pack, get a sling (baby holder) that way he is always close. Learn to pick him up correctly - I really hurt my arms because my scoop up technique was off. Keep him away from others the first 20 to 40 days or so , don't allow others to hold him, touch him too much, RESPECT him and watch his behavior and determine what he is trying to communicate to you through his body language.
Be prepared - my son is a personality that I don't know if we would have ever been friends if we weren't related!
Take lots of pictures, have people take pictures of YOU and your baby.
Enjoy it - it really does pass so fast!!!

First and foremost, please keep in mind that there is no such thing as a "perfect" mom. She doesn't exist so don't feel badly about yourself when you have less than perfect days. You are only human and you are allowed to feel tired, be cranky, and cry. Allowing yourself the room to make mistakes is advised because inevitably they will happen. Your children (who are no doubt the light and loves of your life) will not be angels-they will undoubtedly test you and make you doubt your abilities as a mom but don't ever give in to that thought. Resolve yourself to just be the best mom you can be and let your kids know that they are loved. Your love can be expressed in a hug, a snuggle, a special treat or a ticklefest; you don't have to have the perfectly clean house, with a healthy gourmet meal on the table everynight, and children perfectly groomed. All we can do as moms is our very best and that will vary from day to day, some days will be better than others and God willing, we will have another day tomorrow to start all over and try again. Good luck to you and God Bless!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Savor every moment. Time will fly by before your eyes. Of course it is easier to savor the good moments, but the trying ones too will pass. Take lots of pictures. Like someone else said, you can not give your baby too much or love your baby too much. I believe the constant 'attention' gives your child a sense of security. Again, congrats and the very best to you!!!

This is not meant to be scary, just something that I was not aware of... Everyone and their mother (literally) talks about how bad labor hurts, and how horrible their childbirthing experiences are. So, when I had my child, I was mentally prepared for the pain. Surprisingly, the labor and delivery was really not all that bad. (Yes, I had an epidural. For me, that was a life saver.)

However, I was completely unprepared for how bad it hurt AFTER I had my son. Everyone I talked to while I was pregnant said that as long as I had my child naturally, I would be up and about free as a bird right after the birth. What a crock!

I ended up with a bunch of stitches when my son came out before they could do an episiotomy. Those stitches and the raw skin made it painful to sit, painful to stand, painful to use the restroom, etc., etc., etc.

Looking back on it, I probably SHOULD have expected this, but I was completely mentally unprepared for it. That, combined with a newborn who would not nurse, made my first few weeks as a mother completely miserable and my moods and self esteem plummeted.

Your experience could be completely different from mine, but basically my word of advice is, be prepared for what happens after the birth. So many pregnant first-time moms only focus on the pregnancy and the birth. But, the birth is just the beginning, and not the end of the road.

Everything worked out and I have a beautiful child, but I wish I had known this going into the birth. Good luck with your prenancy. (:

Hi D.!

Congratulations on being a mom! What a wonderful, exciting, tiring journey... I waited to have my first baby until I was 37 and I wish I didn't feel like I could do it all. No matter how much you think you can do it all-clean the house, wash the dishes, etc.,don't. Ask for help. Reach out to people. A lot of women who've been through it know. So make sure to have your support system in place and don't hesitate to call for help. Even two hours of alone time to get away or to take a relaxing shower can do wonders for your spirit. I wish you the best of luck!

Get the Cd or a book called "Happiest baby on the block" by Dr. Karp. Saved our life! Our son had colic and it shows how to soothe a crying baby.

Hi D.; congrats to you both. Motherhood is a wonderful, life changing event,and I wish the three of you a world full of love,hopes and dreams. The best advice,I could give you is,Don't be afraid to give your baby all the love you can.You will get all sorts of advice,and tips from those around you,those that would have you believe,that (you can spoil a baby)By holding him to much.Don't you believe that for a moment.A baby needs all the love and nurturing you can give him.Hold each moment dear,while hes young,because he will be a young man before you know it. I wish you the best. J.

Welcome to the sorority of Motherhood!

My best advice: Get larger receiving blankets or have someone make them for you...

Have the nurse at the hospital teach your husband how to swaddle a baby in the blanket.
"the Burrito style" swaddling will soothe your baby. My husband felt left out with the breast feedings, so I placed him in charge of swaddling and handing baby to me.

He recently taught our 4-year old niece how to swaddle her doll.. precious!!
Give your man a technique and get him involved!!

Also, my husband was the one who read a children's book each night before bed.. he has done so since our boys were babies.

Blessings to you,
M.

book- your child birth to age 5. Or something like that. It is a big fat book put out by the american pediatric foundation. It covers EVERYTHING!

and the best advice given to me----"there will be times when you want to throw your baby against a wall (I know sounds horrible now) just put them in their crib instead. They will be safe and you can have a few minutes to calm down." Personally, I never felt like throwing my babies, but, when they cry and cry for no reason at 5 pm. Putting the baby in the crib is the best thing to do. I think shaken baby syndrome could be averted this way.

Something I wish I had listen to was enjoy your sleep now because when Baby boy is here you have any for the first couple months. Also enjoy the time with your wonderful husband. These are the last months it is only 2 and not baby makes three! Although with baby you have a lot more fun!

Hi D.,

First off, I'm going to start with your hospital stay. Go prepared. Have your bag packed but don't worry about any cute nursing gowns while you are there because chances are you'll bleed through on them and they will get ruined. Prepare yourself for post partum bleeding. I guess I was naive to that. Stock up on some strong absorbency pads for at home and at the hospital. Also, you most likely won't need it but it never hurts to educate yourself on what to expect with a c-section. Most people who have one, including myself never see it coming till the time comes.
Your first night with baby in the hospital will be sweet but not easy. Your baby is learning to not be in the womb anymore and you're learning how to be a mom. Nursing may be hard at first, assuming you plan to nurse. It will hurt some when baby is learning to latch on and when your milk comes in. Make sure you stock up on good nursing bras for day and evening and lots of nursing pads. A nursing pillow will be very helpful.
Stock up on burp rags. I can't tell you how many you will go through. Receiving blankets are a must too. They are so versatile. You can use them obviously as a lightweight blanket but also as a burp cloth, nursing cover, wind shields to drape over infant carriers. Swaddling really helps calm a baby and make them feel like they are back in the womb. I really love the swaddle me blankets. I use them so much more than I thought I would. Don't be opposed to using pacifiers either, it's said that it reduces the risk of SIDS by 90%
Go ahead and get that big diaper bag with all the compartments but also get a small one for quick trips. You'll use that one so much more. All it needs to hold is bottles, burp cloths, diapers, wipes and an extra onesie. You won't need all the extras just to go to the grocery store.
Most of all, parent according to what feels right to you and let dad do what works for him as well. If he does something differently, that doesn't mean it's wrong and you can learn from each other.

Don't forget your husband! If he is happy your whole family will stay happy!!!

For the hospital. . . pack icy hot (great if you have back pain during labor) and Clorox wipes (in case you have to share a bathroom post delivery, things are messy after baby comes and you'll want theses. Good Luck. Have fun! and CONGRATULATIONS! Its so much fun (but tiring).

Your husband will be helpful and willing, but the full responsibility of a newborn can only fall to one person, and that person is gonna be you, mom! You are the one with the food after all. But also, no matter how connected and knowledgeable your hubby is, you will be more in tune with your baby's needs than he is at the beginning (You carried him in your womb for nine months already!) This goes for what he needs when he's crying, down to what to take along with you when you go places. So it translates into feeling like a ton of responsibility on you while others just have to assist. It'll feel like you're life has changed so much while hubby can still go about his business showering daily, indulging in hobbies, and heading out at a moments notice... Don't resent your hubby for it, it's not his fault! It slowly becomes more equal as the baby gets older.

That's my advice, that is what I didn't truly realize until my daughter was born (I imagined happy family of three, not a mommy who is slave to the baby with a little relief now and then from daddy) but it is unavoidable at the beginning.

Also, no pain during my childbirth (epidural) and only soreness afterward, nothing terrible. Just wanted to share- it is different for everyone.

Congrats!!!