Need Some Info Please

I think this may be post-tramadic stress and you should probably look into talking to a professional.

You know, guilt is the largest and most dominating feeling that really gets under a mother's skin. It's totally normal for you to feel that it's your fault. If you're spiritual at all though, or believe in fate, then the guilt will go away because you'll realize that everything happens for a reason. Just so you know, for one reason or another, every single mother on here feels guilty about something that has to do with their children, including me. Now, this will be something that you may seek counseling over, to try and work through your feelings, but if you try and look at is as "we are so lucky, we were trapped in a burning car, and we both made it out alive, with minimal long term signs of going through such trama, then in the end, I think you'll be able to look at it in a more positive light. Give yourself some time though. It's okay to allow yourself to feel the guilt, it's part of the process of coping.

Ok, look...the accident wasn't your fault...it happened...it was an accident and accidents will happen. It's done and over and there's nothing you can do to change it. Count your blessings that he only had a burn to his hand and that it wasn't much worse...and then try to move on. If it's getting you seriously depressed or if that's all you can think about, then talk to a psychiatrist and see if they can help you...I'm sure it was pretty traumatic and at times you may get flashbacks from it...a psychiatrist can help with all of that. But the important thing is that you understand that accidents happen to the best of us and sometimes there's nothing that can be done about it and you need to let it go.

Definitely talk to someone! What you experienced is incredibly painful and scary and the mind is VERY powerful. There is nothing wrong with talking to someone about your problems. Hang in there! And try to remind yourself every day that your LO is here for a reason, and that you can do your best to make his life incredible!

R.,
You need to go to your dr or pastor and tell them about these thoughts your are having. You do not have to be alone in this! Your baby is safe and so are you. Please if you need someone to share your feelings please contact me at my personal email ____@____.com.

Things like that are extremely difficult to deal with and will probably take a lot of time. My best advice would be to find someone to talk to - a professional who understands and is not directly involved in your life. Friends, family members, and even your spouse can only relate to a point. They are sometimes too close to be comletely objective and let you deal in your own way. But, please for your sake and for your baby's find someone to talk to. It will help you get beyond the situation without the depression and will help you get back to your task at hand - being the best mom you can be!! Hope this helps!

R., you need to talk to someone in RL, someone that's going to be able to give you the shoulder to cry on, or the hug that you need. Considering your son's age, is it possible that you are/were suffering from post partum depression and the accicdent has elevated it?

The way that you are feeling is completely normal. In such a traumatic event that you encountered, there are bound to be reprocussions. When faced with death, especially that of your child, in such a violent manner, many people tend to develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is a very common psychological medical condition. I would highly recommend speaking with a counselor. Thank the Heavens that you two made it out together and well! He won't remember it but you will. For the sake of your son and yourself, you need to address these feelings head on. They are normal and you and I both know, irrational. Of course it wasn't your fault! But you already know that. I would recommend that you first google PTSD to learn more and then make an appointment with a counselor or Psychiatrist as soon as possible. I'm including a little info regarding PTSD to give you a head start. Please address these feelings that you have, because it's no quality of life to have to deal with them... and they could last a very, very long time without professional attention. I wish for peace in your heart... and remember that you are not at fault!

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a complex health condition that can develop in response to a traumatic experience – a life-threatening or extremely distressing situation that causes a person to feel intense fear, horror or a sense of helplessness. PTSD can cause severe problems at home or at work. Anyone can develop PTSD – men, women, children, young and old alike. Fortunately, PTSD is treatable. Learn more about PTSD. http://www.ptsdalliance.org Good luck to you R.. Keep us informed on how you are. If you'd like to message me personally, I have struggeled with PTSD myself.

~Sorry for the length of this message! :-)~
A.

You'll need your friends and a good support group wether it be us, your family ect......... Believe in your heart that it wasn't your fault and you'll be fine.

Don't keep blaming yourself for the accident. Accidents happen! even the most cautious mother and cautiuos driver can have a wreck. Just praise God that you are both still alive! Be thankful that the only thing that happened was a burn to his hand. It could have been much worse. Just love your little boy with everything that you have and pray that something like that never happens again. if you just can't shake the feelings of guilt, you might consider talking to a counselor.

YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO......LOVE YOUR SON AND BE TOTALLY THANKFUL THAT YOU DIDNT LOSE HIM AND THAT HE DIDNT LOSE YOU...HOLD YOUR SON AND TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM AND TELL HIM THAT YOUR WORLD WOULD END WITHOUT HIM....ADN WHAT ELSE YOU CAN DO IS KNOW THAT YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOM BC YOU DO CARE AND ARENT FOCUSING ALL OF YOUR ENERGY ON THE OTHER DRIVER OR THE FAULT OF THE ACCIDENT...INSTEAD YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR ENERGY INTO YOUR SON....I AM TERRIBLY SORRY THAT YOUR SON WAS INJURED AT ALL OR THAT YOU WERE EVEN IN AN ACCIDENT AND I AM HAPPY THAT YOU GUYS ARE OK NOW....ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAYS WITH YOUR FAMILY.

R. ,You cant blame yourself it was a accident ,and now you need to just let it go and Thank God you both are ok ,I am so happy you are ok ,I always fear wrecking that is one of my major fears in life .Its hard to get over thinking about it I know But you must for yourself stop blaming you !My best goes out to you and the baby,and I thank God you are ok .God Bless

I agree with Julie in that I think most all of us deal with guilt. I still feel guilty about working full-time until my daughter was four. I feel even more guilty that I left her alone in the house for half an hour when she was two. I wasn't thinking straight because I was completely stressed out and exhausted from not having more than a handful of full nights of sleep in years, but I did it none the less.

It will take time, but what has helped me most is talking to other mothers and writing down what happened, what led up to it, etc. I will never forget that I did it, but there is a difference between dwelling on it and accepting the fact that it happened and moving on to know that each day is another chance to be a better mom. Concentrate on what is at hand and coming up, and although it is hard, don't let the past cause you to miss out on the present.

My son was 5 years old and shot himself with a gun. It entered his hand and exited out his knee. He spent nine days in the hospital. The only thing I could do was to be there for him. I thought I was going to loose him, too. I had to keep saying to myself it was not my fault. I had no control over the situation. I was at work when this happened. He is now 20 years old and doing okay. Keep your chin up. Rheam