Need Help Talking to My Brother in Law

Updated on February 11, 2008
M.L. asks from Rhome, TX
7 answers

Hey ladies, I need your help. My husband and I also share our home with his mom and his brother. Well his brother is divorced and is currently trying out dating. well he brought home this woman and (I'm sorry for the graphics) apperently they had sex in his room. The problem is that the woman was loud enough for my husband, me and my 2 yr old to hear her.Thankfully our 5 month old was asleep and doesn't know any better. How do I talk to him about this problem? I don't care to hear it and I don't feel it is very appropriate for my son to hear it. any help will be appriciated.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for all of your advice. He talked to his brother, and the girl will not be visiting here anymore and in the future he has been told to either get a motel room or go to his date's house instead. Luckly, our 2 1/2 yr old hasn't asked any questions, so we prefer to leave it be instead of bringing up something he may have forgotten by now. Again thank you all for the advice it was greatly appriciated :D

More Answers

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V.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think you should tell your husband how you feel and leave it up to him to speak to his brother. You should also discuss with your husband if he thinks it will be a good idea you be there during the conversation. I say this because I don't know how your brother-in-law is.

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L.W.

answers from San Antonio on

Sounds like everyone needs to move out of their mother's home. Move out and start making your way in the world. Your brother in law needs to get a HOTEL room for pity sake!

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L.H.

answers from Dallas on

Seems like this is your husband's responsibility to me. Hope he steps up and talks to him.

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D.R.

answers from Dallas on

It is YOUR home, so your rules should apply. Since your husband is his brother, he should definitely talk to him and let him know (lovingly) that this is not acceptable in your home. If you feel comfortable enough to be included in the discussion, by all means be there to share your concerns. If there is another occurence, give him a list of available apartments in the area, and a deadline to rent one. :-)

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R.D.

answers from Dallas on

Ask HIM to help you & your husband to come up with a way to explain to your 2 1/2 year old the noise he heard coming out of his room that night; then ask him to please respect the home and not do that again. If he gets upset remind him that there are apartments in the area that he can live in instead of your house.

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

I assume you and your husband are just helping him out until he gets back on his feet wich is awesome, but I would have your husband talk to him. That is his brother and it is a conversation he seriously should have even if there were know kids involved. I would start out by having a timeline of an exit day when he needs to have his own place and then set boundaries for the in house rules while he lives there. You are not a motel even for family. There is no tip toeing around this you need to be bold. If it hapened in my house my husband would be pounding on the door and asking him to take his business somewhere else. You do not have to be shy about this he is an adult and should know better.

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E.D.

answers from Dallas on

Well, if ya'll could hear, then his mother could too... Ewwwwww
What I think would be the LEAST humiliating thing for him would be if his BROTHER talked to him. He really needs to say how much he loves him and wants to help him out but that you all heard the person he brought home, in the throws of ___ and that he'd appreciate it if he didn't bring women home while he is staying with ya'll. Your husband has a wife/child and their mother to think of.
UGH... it will be uncomfortable, but much less uncomfy if it comes from another man, I think.

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