Need Desperatly Support for Dealing with 6Week Colicky Baby!!

Updated on January 27, 2016
T.D. asks from Syracuse, NY
45 answers

hi mommmas,

i am the mother of a 6 week year old boy. He has been colicky and fussy since he was 2 weeks old and although many people have told me things could get worse by the 6th week and i was not prepared for this! it has been really, really awful! he cries almost all day, i get no sleep at all and because i live abroad i have no close family or support network. I need to know if any other mom has gone through this, how long is this peak in colics?? should i expect a week or more of this before it gets better? any idea on coping emotionally with the crying and the exhaustion? i feel i have reached my limit. im overtired and i get panic attacks the moment he starts getting fussy. i noticed he gets the worst after breasteeeding him. any suggestion how to organize his day so i can prevent them or at least help him deal with them better? Thank you soo much! i really have nobody else to talk to or consult

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So What Happened?

Dear mommas,
thank you so much for all the great advice and the support!!! we are reaching now the 9th week and he is doing much better. Just as many of you said, the colics are much less and i have developed some better coping skills. I changed my diet and stopped taking milk. That made a huge difference. I also carry him now before he even gets fussy and have developed a routine that he seems to like. I also am trying to expan d my support network and have found a couple of moms i talk to, if not often, at least enough to not feel so alone. Im also receiving support from a therapist to deal with the exhaustion and feelings of his first month. Also, a big part of me feeling better was reading your responses. In really bad times, i read them several times a day and it helped me go on. Thanks again! there are still bad days, but im coping better and i can that the calmer i am, the calmest he is. I see it now as an opportunity to show him that im there for him no matter what.

More Answers

H.V.

answers from Jamestown on

colic could be a symptom of acid reflux which is common in babies. please take a look at http://www.coliccalm.com/index.html . I have personally tried this on our son, and have used some on myself. This stuff works.

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S.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

i am going through this RIGHT now. my son is now 9 weeks and he does seem to be getting better. He still doens't sleep as much as he shold but the fussiness and crying are getting better. I also have no one local to take him fo me at all I am going to my moms this weekend, and have been looking forward to it, becasue she will take my son so i can sleep

I got a baby bjorn and wore him around and that really did help out. I let him sleep there for a while, becues if i took him out he would wake up and scream. He sleeps great in the swing, but refuses the bed. So i let him sleep in the swing. I do keep trying the bed though, so there isn't a habit forming of only being able to sleep in the swing or next to me.

i put him in his crib close the door, and take a shower. Then i can't hear him screaming, and i can get a few minutes to relacx. When your husband gets home, ahve him take the baby and you go outside for a walk, or even just to sit outside away from the baby.

With breastfeeding try pumping and giving him a bottle it might not help but its worth a shot. good luckl. and it does get better

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N.T.

answers from New York on

Hello T.:

To respond to your statement - "i noticed he gets the worse after breasteeeding him.". It's possible that he may be sensitive to the foods you eat; whatever you ingest goes into the breastmilk and into your son. Sensitivities may include sugars, fats (milk, cheese, nuts, fried foods), gluten (breads, pastries, any flour based-foods). Consider that as a possibility.

Take care,
N.
Founder/Organic Mommy and Baby Healthcare Solutions
http://www.WholeCreations.com

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J.V.

answers from Allentown on

My heart goes out to you ((hugs)). You have gotten some awesome suggestions for how to take care of your little man. But, you need to take care of yourself, too.

One suggestion from Sharon D - "i put him in his crib close the door, and take a shower. Then i can't hear him screaming, and i can get a few minutes to relacx. When your husband gets home, ahve him take the baby and you go outside for a walk, or even just to sit outside away from the baby." is, IMO, important too!

After making sure he is clean, dry, fed, burped, not in danger, it is OK to take a minute to yourself and just regroup - get in the shower, make yourself a cup of tea. Remind yourself that you are doing a great job and that he must be healthy, after all who can cry for that long and not have a good set of lungs! Give yourself a pat on the back and then go back in there with a renewed sense of faith in yourself.

Prep yourself for the inevitable - Ok, little man, we are gonna feed you, then we are gonna burp you and then you are gonna cry. After all, you know its coming, right? Almost like - the sun is going to rise and set, the son is going to cry today. Frustration is so counterproductive for both of you. And one day he won't cry - bonus!

And just try to remember that this will not last forever - better days will follow.

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S.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I went through this with my daughter. She cried non-stop for 6 hours everyday for about one month. She would start crying at 6:00 PM on the dot. It was paiful watching her because she looked like she was in pain! Long story short, I sort of dealt with it because nothing seemed to help. I got a Baby Bjorn and just put her in it while I went about my routine. She calmed down. I also noticed that blowing warm air with the hair dryer helped for a bit. I read that babies have an immature nervous system so once they start crying, they do not know how to stop (poor things!). I also believe it is not always related to stomach discomfort. It is called colic but it is not always related to gastrointestinal issues. This lasted for about two months. I know it's sooooo hard! I had no help either so I understand how you feel. HUGS!!!!!

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A.J.

answers from New York on

My daughter was allergic to dairy. She cried a lot for the first 6 weeks and then it really hit her and the bloody poop started whenever I would look at dairy! Try eliminating dairy from your diet. It's hard but on the plus side the pounds just melt right off because anything that tastes good has dairy ;)

As for living abroad... I live in Switzerland and we moved here when I was 7 months preg with my 2nd daughter (my girls are only 15 months apart). I know it is so hard to be so far away from family. Are there any mom groups you could join or expat groups or even the american women's club? sometimes you just have to find one person who will help you out. You might even have to ask a couple of people and have them think you are a little crazy before you find that right friend who would be willing to hang out at your house so you can get some sleep. If I lived closer I would totally do that for you! Good luck and I hope you find some relief soon. Feel free to email me if you want to vent about expat living! :) It will get better soon!

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E.B.

answers from New York on

I know it is hard, but you must stay positive. My son was VERY colic as well and the madder I got, the worse it got. "When momma ain't happy, nobody is happy".
Try to give him some Camomile Tea, about 4 oz to calm his stomach. I am sure you heard of "switching what you eat" since you are breastfeeding. That really doesn't make a difference.
Try this: Gather all the strength you have left. Breathe. Think positive, remain happy. Take your son, feed him, burp him, give him some tea. Then swaddle him and take him for a walk outside (no matter the temp., unless it is raining). Do this everyday at the same time.
You will notice he will relax and so will you. Once you are not tense anymore, he will be as well.

I know this sounds so cliche and dumb, but its true. the more i became happy, so did my baby.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Dear T., I am so sorry that you and your baby are going through this. I believe colic has to do with gas. Do you watch what you eat? Any gassy foods will also affect your baby. Carrots, Cabbage, chocolate, etc. Also make sure he burps before you put him down. I had one son who would wake at 10 and continue to cry until 4:00 and I had another child to wake up to in the morning. I am an older mom and we gave the baby fennel tea. Get some fennel seeds and boil them, let the water cool and give it to baby in his bottle. This is a natural way to help with the gas. Also, have you told his doctor? There may be something else that can be done. This will pass. I cannot say how long. Love your baby, rub his back, speak softly to him. He cannot help what is happening.........Grandma Mary (mom of 5)

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S.T.

answers from New York on

If you're nursing he could be sensitive to something that you're eating. My daughter was very sensitive to dairy (cheese, milk, etc.) certain vegetables (brocoli, cauliflower) and fatty foods (fried foods, sausage, bacon). While I nursed her I ate a lot of grilled fish & chicken, pasta with broth, mild vegetables (salad) and drank alot of water. I ate very bland food for a year! That helped ALOT. (My second child had no problems with anything I ate.)

Remember to drink alot of water when you nurse - it will help produce more milk - it could be that he's getting enough to put something in his tummy but not enough to really fill him up.

When you get tense as he gets fussy he will sense your tension and he'll react more. Try something calming. Remember he won't die of crying. While it is very nerve wracking to hear them cry, it's not deadly. It's difficult but try to relax - use your childbirth breathing to calm your body down. Try massaging him with baby lotion (warm it up in your hands first), or lay him on his back and move his legs as if he's peddling a bicycle. It may help move gas bubbles around - and he'll see your face - which babies love to see. Coo at him while you move his legs or massage his little body. Even if he's still crying at least you're doing something together and he can see your smiling face (try to smile and not frown). Try a hot water bottle with a very little warm water next to his tummy.

This is a very tough time with first babies - you're not getting any sleep, your baby is going through different phases and sleep habits. Give yourself a break - don't expect so much of yourself. Dishes, laundry & vacuuming can wait - as someone else said, use paper & plastic for this temporary period.

There are only a few people out there who have "perfect" babies who sleep & eat well, smile all the time and are Ideal. The other 99% of us have babies who we just can't figure out - and when we finally think we have their schedule worked out, they change and go in to a new developmental stage!

I used to always give my little girl those drops (I can't remember the name - my "baby" girl is now 14 so it's been a while!) and that would help some. The funny thing is that this same child still get awful tummy aches from time to time. Who knows why - I think it could be stress related - but not entirely. So maybe 3-4 times a year she's bent over in pain and she has her own hot water bottle and knows where the mylanta is in the cabinet. But I still try to massage her and get her to walk around the house to work out her "gas bubbles". But now at 14 she wants me to massage her feet! :o)

This will pass Mamma - and you'll both survive it. Just go easy on yourself and on baby. And pray - God does care about the details of your life. Ask for his hand to be on your child, ask for his blessings and ask him to show himself to you.

This will pass -

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A.F.

answers from Chicago on

If he is getting worse after breastfeeding, he could be intolerant to something you are eating -- just a thought. I would google breastfeeding elimination diet and try it if you can. My daughter was milk allergic and it really does a number on their tummy (turns out she is also peanut, fish and egg...I ate LOTS of these while breastfeeding her...poor girl). We lasted nursing only 4 mos because she was so uncomfortable...did DS for 12.

I also second the Happiest Baby on the Block Book and DVD and swaddling, sucking, shooshing, etc.

Remember to take a time out....it will help.

Also, if your baby was born premature at all, the colic can last longer because it usually breaks at 12 weeks but that is 12 weeks from due date.

Deep Breaths! Best Wishes!

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY SECOND - take a huge, deep breath. Whatever you are feeling is okay. If you're angry with him, if you're feeling guilty or inadequate (I know I did!), if you just want to order a pizza...everything you are feeling is NORMAL no matter how much you might think you aren't allowed or supposed to be feeling it.

My daughter screamed for 10 1/2 weeks. We read all the books, we tried all the systems, we cried, we went a little nuts. I eventually ended up on anti-depressants because I had no time to deal with the baby blues. I had no support in town, and my husband worked 10 hours of the day. Ultimately, nothing was going to work. She's not a textbook, she's a baby. I feel, now, that my daughter's colic resulted in part from her being a generally impatient person and a very, very clever one. Maybe that thought will help. "Smart babies are hard babies."

So what do you do? Understand that you are the mommy. He is crying and pissed and stressed just like you are. He is learning to be a human while you learn to be a mom. With my daughter, I wonder now if I gave her too much freedom to be "on demand". Maybe if I'd tried a more structured approach our colic would have subsided sooner.

Unfortunately, some babies are just colicky. Absolutely talk to your doctor but you should know that if the doctor says everything looks good, they are probably right. In fact, I bet you've already heard someone say this.

Try to give YOURSELF a routine. If he's going to cry anyway, then you need to take care of your own needs. Where is he the least (relatively) fussy, or the most patient? The swing? The car seat? My daughter liked the playpen (go figure). Set him there and take a shower, sing loudly. Take a walk at your favorite store or park everyday. If you have a playgroup, don't think they won't understand. THEY WILL. And he is not too young to be out and about if it helps YOU.

I'm saying this as I get ready to have my second baby. With my first, naps only happened when I held her, rocked her, and cried and cried until she slept. It was terrible...but we slept, even for only half an hour. As we get into our third trimester, I'm terrified that the next baby'll be colicky as well, but we survived the first one and YOU WILL TOO. I didn't know about Mamapedia back then and I'm so glad you've already found this amazing resource.

Keep telling the people around you how you feel. Find someone to be COMPLETELY HONEST with. No matter how dark the thought or outrageous or unacceptable you think your feelings are. TALK ABOUT THEM to someone you trust. For me, saying them out loud gave me permission to let them go...

I sincerely hope this helps...these were things no one said to me that I desperately wish I'd heard. If you feel even a little bit better, or want to contact me, feel completely free. Mothers of colicky babies live in their own special nightmare until they come out of it. BUT YOU WILL COME OUT. My cousin calls it the new baby tunnel. Your whole world is that little screaming but adorable creature and one day your world WILL open back up. Do NOT be afraid to answer honestly if someone asks you if they can help. Let them cook or clean for you or just pick up your keys if you drop them while juggling all your new baby gear.

Your son will be the light of your life as long as you two have each other. He may be tough now...but he chose YOU to be his mother. He chose YOU because he knew of all the women in the world eager to have a baby YOU would be the best possible mother to him.

Good luck. You guys will be in my thoughts.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Check out the www.dona.org site. Are there any postpartum doulas where you live? If you can afford the help and there is a doula in your area, I would recommend hiring one. Good luck and hugs, I hope that things get better soon.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

#1. If anyone responds to this post with comments like "Colic doesn't exist." Delete them. Don't bother reading them. They're not living your nightmarish hell, yet they feel perfectly compelled to self-righteously and smarmily judge from afar.

#2. Both of my sons were colicky. They'd literally start before 7:00 AM every day and it would go on all day long until the evening. I'd feed them, they'd be happy for about 10-30 minutes then WHAM! The incessant crying began. It lasted 3 months for both of them. I, like many others, have repressed these memories and blocked them out.

I tried every trick imaginable and while they would work for a while, the novelty eventually wore off. My second child did find the sound of the hair dryer to be soothing and would literally stop crying the moment I turned it on. Trips in the car or the stroller were helpful too. My first child loved the swing while my second child absolutely hated it.

If you feel like you're going to lose it or snap, call your OB. They can definitely help you. Try to get out of the house - go for a walk, go for a drive, go to the mall, anything to 'distract' yourself and the baby.

I feel for you. I would never want my worst enemy to have to deal with a colicky baby. For what it is worth, however, once my babies got over their colic they turned into the happiest, smiley baby. At my 11 month old's daycare, all the teachers comment on how happy he is all the time - so KNOW that it will get better.

Hang in there - my heart goes out to you.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Where was Mamapedia when I had my babies?

I could have used all the advice you've been given! My first two were colicky. It was so, so hard. I wondered if I was an unfit mother! Sometimes I really struggled with my emotions. I almost got angry at the babies for crying so much because I felt so helpless.

Something I didn't know then - but learned years later from a DIL - is that babies' crying, in itself, isn't bad. (For some reason I had thought that babies of GOOD mothers never cry! Let us now pause to laugh.) Babies have to communicate some way, after all, and that's the only way they know. It's the constant crying and the physical and mental exhaustion connected with this sort of thing that's so difficult.

But there isn't anything wrong with you (aside from little things like being exhausted), and your baby WILL get better - with my babies it was between two and three months - and hopefully you'll live to tell us when that happens. You will hear cheers through your computer from all over the country!

You do need some sort of personal support, though. Would you please google "MOPS" (Mothers of Preschoolers), and see if there's a group near you? It's an organization especially for mothers of babies and small children. You may find some good fellowship and help there... not to mention other mamas who have gone through exactly what you're going through now.

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N.K.

answers from Madison on

Hi T.,

I hope the advice you got from the great mamas here will help with your situation.. Hang in there. Things will get better as he grows up.

Get a wrap/baby carrier and wear him, if needed all day. Colicky babies are calmer when they are closer to their moms.

Try Dr. Karp's 5S that Paige summarized.

See if there is any mom/baby activities where you live that you can go to. It may help to ease your mind a little bit...

Good luck...

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E.B.

answers from Miami on

purchase gripe water. my nephew and my son were colic and that was the only thing that helped, they were also put on a soy formula. Make sure your not eating things that are creating the gases.

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K.S.

answers from New York on

Hi T.,
Ok first breath...ok again...I know how hard this is on you, I went through your exact scenario. Here's what I can tell you.

My oldest daughter cried for 5 months straight. We were told she was colicky and nothing we could do for it. I was all alone, my husband worked long hours and we had just moved to the other side of the country from my family. Since I was so new to the area, I also didn't have any friends. I ended up with post partum depression and let me tell you, it was horrible and scary and I can't believe I lived through it.

What we found out when my daughter turned one was that she has a very bad reaction to milk (constipated to the point she would pass out trying to poop). I breastfed her up to 10 months and I thought the more milk I drank the better. I had cut out all red meat since I knew that seemed to hurt her little tummy, I just wish I had known about her milk allergy.

My second child began on the same course of crying. I immediately cut out milk products and life became a lot better. Does she still cry? Yes, but not that constant colicky pain filled screaming. Now that I'm trying to introduce formula her reactions are diaper after diaper of diarrhea. We're working on it.

Forget the dishes, buy paper plates and cups if you can't stand to have dirty dishes. Forget the laundry, ok clean them but they don't have to be put away the second they come out of the drier. GET SLEEP. A sleep deprived person cannot be expected to be at their best and it can even be dangerous.

I'm guessing you're a loving mother who is doing everything in her power to make her baby's life a happy, healthy one. Your baby crying does not make you a bad mother or that you are failing. That is a bad mind trap to get into, believe me.

Try eliminating the dairy products and red meat. Yes you're going to have to live on fruit, salad and chicken for a while but it may mean a happier baby.

Best of luck and lots of hugs to both of you!

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P.B.

answers from Dallas on

Lots of things already regarding allergies and acid reflux and possible problems, which are definitely things to look into. In the event that it is NOT one of those things, but simply colic, you might try the 5 steps recommended by Dr. Karp for calming a colicy baby. My baby girl used to start crying at 4 pm and keep going all night, and this solution was a HUGE help.

1) Swaddle: I swaddled Katie for 4 months. She went ballistic if I didn't leave her arms out, but try it both ways.
2) Side/Stomach: Cradle your baby on his side or stomach. Support his head.
3) Swinging: Dr. Karp emphasizes that this needs to be a fairly vigorous motion. You can jiggle them, rock them back and forth, but don't be timid about it! I used to lay Katie in my lap on her side, rest my elbows on my legs to hold her head my hands, and swing my legs in circles.
4) Shush: Make a loud shushing noise close to your baby's ear. The noise of your body in the womb is equal in volume to the vacuum, so, again, don't be timid! Be as loud or louder as your baby's crying.
5) Suck: Suckling is very comforting to a baby. Whether a pacifier, bottle, or breastfeeding, it helps. He may be worst after breastfeeding because of some gastrointestinal issue, but it may also be because breastfeeding is comforting and he doesn't want to stop.

I'm not suggesting you NOT look into the other things, but this is something you can do right away, any time, and is a lot less overwhelming on short sleep and borderline hysteria (and, oh, do I remember what that's like) than making a major change to your diet/lifestyle. If it does help and you get some time to think, Dr. Karp describes the method and why it works the way it does in his book, "The Happiest Baby on the Block."

My only other advice is to remember: This too shall pass! I used to repeat it to myself as a mantra at 3 am when Katie'd been up all hours and it seemed morning would never come.

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...

answers from Phoenix on

All five of my kids did that if I ate dairy. I had to completely stay away from dairy and most breads which contain some sort of dairy. Otherwise, they were fine. Make sure you eat things that you're 100% sure doesn't have any dairy or a form of dairy. If it still persists, then explore to see if he's reacting to anything else you're eating. Keep a food journal and cut things out. be sure you eat healthy and take your prenatals. Good luck!! And CONGRATS!

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C.T.

answers from New York on

Hi Mama-

Reaching out to the gals here is a great start!! Please don't give up and keep everyone posted on the progress (or lack thereof) and let us all know what else you need or how we can help.

I don't have a lot of experience with "colic" persay, but I did note a few things in your post that sounded similar with my kiddos.

1) Fussiness increasing after nursing - My two kids lived on mylacon for about the first four to six months that we breast fed. (I went 15 months with my little girl and nearly 10 months with my little boy - I am now expecting again and that impacted my supply so we had to switch out to formula with my son.) I generally would give them a squirt prior to feeding. Not sure why this worked - maybe it coated their stomachs first? But it seemed to be good for everyone involved.

2) With my son, I had to really watch what I ate. Broccoli and onions really upset him. It helped when I ate bland foods, more like a "brat" diet. It got boring but helped.

3) My son really fussed when he got overloaded and ended up with a bloated stomach. I have a tendency to produce way too much milk in the beginning so I would limit nursing time and then pump off the rest to freeze for later. This meant feeding more frequently but it made him happier and helped him sleep better, especially in between feedings.

4) Work to tire him out a bit - we used to do things like "bicycle" legs which helps move along the digestive system while getting in some exercising too. We would clap hands and flex legs and do other "stretchy" moves to get the baby moving and stimulated.

As for yourself, it does not matter what state the house is in, who wants to visit, etc. The best advise I got was to sleep when the baby was sleeping. Do that for yourself!!! It will make things easier. Also, I would try to do things like set up the crockpot for dinner, as early in the day as possible, when things are generally calmer, so that as the baby got fussier as the day wore on, I did not need to panic about what I was eating (or the rest of the family when we got bigger). There is a witching hour near dinner time and it never fails that this is when baby always seemed to be the worst in my house.

Good luck. We are here for you.
~C.

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

Chiropractic treatment helped my daughter, and many other kids I know. good luck, hang in there!

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

Have you tried the chiropractor???

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T.W.

answers from New York on

I totally understand what you are going through and it royally sucks but it does get better, I promise. How long it will take no one can say it depends on your son, each baby is different. Have you tried changing what you are eating? I know with me it was the broccoli and beans I was eating and then with my son it was that I was drinking and eating dairy products, it turns out he is lactose intolerant but I found that by changing my diet I was able to figure out what made things better or worse. Try eliminating one thing at a time like green leafy vegetables one day, if that doesn't work switch to lactose free milk and cut out the dairy for a day. Too bad you don't live here because I would help you, I know what it is like not to get any help.
Hugs,
T.

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D.L.

answers from Boston on

my baby was very colicky!

1) gripe water
2) gas drops

both, life savers!

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L.B.

answers from New York on

Oh, mama, I feel your pain! I had a colicky baby too and I just about cracked. Thankfully, fussiness typically peaks from 6-8 weeks, so it's not too much longer. At 7 1/2 weeks, my LO turned the corner and became SO much more content. Generally, colic is gone completely by 12 weeks or 3-4 mos, depending on whom you ask. Personally, I found that the fussiness was mostly gone by 8 weeks and then kept fading.

If he is fussing after feedings, you might speak with his pediatrician to see if he may have reflux, as that is a common symptom of it.

As far as coping goes, sleep whenever he sleeps! Don't worry about cleaning, cooking, etc. You need to take care of your baby's mother, so sleep! Also, I found it helpful to have a sling. If she was fed, changed, burped and being held and she was still fussy, I just decided there was nothing more I could do. I had done everything I could for her, she just needed to cry anyway. So I would put her in the sling (so she would still be close to my chest -- I didn't like the idea of putting her down and walking away, I wanted her to know that I was close and taking care of her) and just go about my day. I'd let her cry in the sling and stopped trying to soothe her constantly. Realizing that I wasn't doing anything wrong and I wasn't failing her, she was just a colicky little baby, really helped me.

Also, I found she really liked the sound of the vacuum cleaner, so I'd vacuum with her in the sling. We also recorded the sound of the bath faucet running and put it on continuous loop -- if she was really fussy, putting that on very loud would help to soothe her.

Finally, I also found my baby did much better when I started swaddling for naps and putting her down for naps whether or not I thought she was tired. Babies that age should only be up for about 1 hour at a time, so once she'd been awake an hour, I'd swaddle her, put on loud white noise and give her the pacifier. She learned to fall asleep in her crib, but you may need to rock to sleep in the beginning. I soon realized she'd been really overtired and once she became better-rested, she was less fussy.

I hope that helps! It won't be much longer!

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J.D.

answers from New York on

My baby was colicky too. I used soy formula for him and it helped - alos used mylicon a lot. I also swaddled him. Used the 5 's from the happiest baby on the block dvd. Used white noise to calm him. Actually put him in a swing a lot to let him sleep. I carried him around in a native american sling or the baby bjorn. All those things seemed to help. The first 6 weeks of his life were a nightmare for me. I'm not sure if I just had no clue as a new mom, but honestly I remember just holding him kneeling on the living room floor and crying begging for him to please stop crying and so upset that I couldn't stop him. It was terrible! If you haven't already gotten the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD get it and watch it NOW. I swear it saved my life and sanity! I agree with moms who advise that if you are really feeling anxious to just put the baby in the crib and walk away. Its ok and its the best thing you can do for both of you. Just walk away. Sit in another room until you get a hold of yourself. As long as your baby is safe in the crib and you are close by its ok but sometimes you have to walk away...they feel your anxiety too and it causes more for them. If you are losing it, put him down and come visit here if you have no place else or no one else to talk to!

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My oldest was also a colicky baby. Your baby could possible have some allergy problem to the formula ( so change it ) or if your nursing than it could be something like garlic.
Its draining. I know this is hard to hear but it does pass..I would say by the time my son was about 4 mo. he was rarely colicky. If you need support let me know and I will send you a supportive message.

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R.P.

answers from Chicago on

Per several peds and second/third opinions - GERD and colic are different ailments and as such should be treated individually. Our first DD went through both and our second is currently experiencing both as well.

GERD is treated with antacids, proton pump inhibitors, or H2 blockers as determined by the doctor. Along with medication it is recommended that the baby be elevated (not sitting) during feeding and for at least 15 minutes after feeding. If the baby is not burped sufficiently, has a sensitivity to the formula, or otherwise has gas post feed this is what leads to colic (if it is determined to be GI related colic- there are other causes as well).

We did a TON of research and also checked with our ped and ended up doing a few things to help our daughter. We changed to a low-lactose formula, started adding L. Reuteri to a couple of bottles every day, use a sleep wedge under the sheet in her crib, and use Cocyntal and/or Hyland's Colic for symptoms throughout the day.

Even after all we are doing for her, DD still has some degree of colic, but overall what we have now is far better than what we had. You can tell that our daughter feels better in comparison and seems to be getting better and better with each passing day.

I really feel for you and hope you find something beneficial soon!

Best of luck. :-)

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W.H.

answers from Charlotte on

You sound EXACTLY like me. My son was super colicky....since I nursed I checked my diet...I was eating a lot of dairy and he was diagnosed with reflux at 1 month. After I stopped the dairy, his colic got better, his reflux stopped and he slept better (not through the night, but better). By doing that, I also did not have to put him on any medication. He also had a little eczema...which was also a dairy thing. He just turned 1 and when he has any milk or yogurt, etc. he gets a small rash around his mouth.

Keep him elevated after he eats for sure. At least 30 minutes...especially at night when the milk could rise up from his tummy. When he gets super fussy, you could lay him on his tummy on a hot water bottle. I know if you have things to do during the day it can be time consuming. We invested in a baby carrier. That way he was close to me, elevated and I could do what I needed to do.

Hang in there girl! Being a mommy is so tough!!!

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

I've tried really hard to block out those days (my son is noe 4), so it is difficult to remember. The one piece of advise I have is to let him sleep anywhere (that is safe) that he will sleep. If it's his carseat, the swing, the stroller, the boucy seat, whatever. Don't worry about it. Also, like Dori said, if you can wear him in a body wrap or sling, that might really help. Most babies really like being wrapped tightly, so they like being swaddled or in a wrap and close to Mama. Also, and I know this is going to be hard, but the more you are able to take deep breaths and relax, the more he will be able to do it. Sometimes babies pick up on Mama's anxiety.

It's hard!!! Maybe it helps just knowing that we've been there and survivied. You can do it!

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E.2.

answers from Providence on

I have used babies magic tea for my extremely fussy and colicky baby after trying Zantac, Karo syrup and colic calm but this tea made the last difference.

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M.V.

answers from New York on

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. My daughter was also colicky. I could not breastfeed her, so we tried several different formulas till we found one that she could tolerate. In addition to this, my pediatrician told us to give her fennel tea (just a small amount of fennel seeds brewed in hot water, then cooled) several times a day. He also recommended mylicon drops (available over the counter) to relieve the gas. Both of these things did give her some relief. We also put her in the baby swing ALOT. I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but eventually they do outgrow it. Hang in there, it will get better!

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A.I.

answers from Buffalo on

Google "colic probiotics"

Probiotics are gaining notorioty in their ability to help colicky babies due to the theory that these babies have an imbalance of bacteria in their gut. You should definitely check it out!

These are kind of expensive, but they are an example of what you could get for your baby or maybe you could find the same kind of probiotics to take yourself, at a lower price, which would pass into your breastmilk:

http://www.colichelp.com/shop/biogaia-probiotic-drops.html

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D.S.

answers from New York on

My daughter and son were both colic so trust me I feel your pain. My son had to have soy formula and my daughter had Nutramagin formula which was a life saver. I never breastfed so I can't help you out there, but I would really keep track of what you are eating and try to notice differences in him there. A pacifier was my only life saver because my son would just suck on his hand and scream and I always assumed it was hunger so I was overfeeding him when he really just needed to suck. Also, check with your doctor about reflux that can be very painful and they do have medication for it. I also boiled and diluted chamomile tea (check with your doc first) and that seemed to calm them down. Also, swaddle him. Colicky babies love to feel close and swaddled. Call a local high school and see if they can recommend a responsible teen for a mommies helper. This way you are still in the house to monitor, but can take a break for a few hours, for a shower, or a nap. I know how difficult it is to have a colic baby so my heart goes out to you. Hang in there it will pass.

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

T.,
I completely understand! My baby is 7 months old and she is not tolerating protein in milk or soy. We learned the hard way.....she had similar symptoms and afeter we changed several doctors and formulas, her GI pediatrician recommended using NEOCATE formula and diagnosed her with bad acid reflux. For reflux she uses prevacid, which I mix in her food.
I highly recommend checking her stool (if they find any blood, she is most likely alergic to milk/soy) and they will put her on special formula. Also, check her acid reflux levels. A lot of babies have them and it should be treated if it is painful.
Good luck to you and your family. I hope this helps!

Updated

T.,
I completely understand! My baby is 7 months old and she is not tolerating protein in milk or soy. We learned the hard way.....she had similar symptoms and afeter we changed several doctors and formulas, her GI pediatrician recommended using NEOCATE formula and diagnosed her with bad acid reflux. For reflux she uses prevacid, which I mix in her food.
I highly recommend checking her stool (if they find any blood, she is most likely alergic to milk/soy) and they will put her on special formula. Also, check her acid reflux levels. A lot of babies have them and it should be treated if it is painful.
Good luck to you and your family. I hope this helps!

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T.F.

answers from New York on

I can thing of three things that can cause colic: something in your diet, if you're breastfeeding, so you might want to ask the dr. about that. He might be getting hungrier as he goes through a growth spurt and you are not producing enough milk for him. Try burping him and keeping him on a bit longer each time so you will produce more milk. You could also pump at a different time and have a bottle to offer him if he needs more. Also, around 6 weeks their sleeping patterns can change. This can manifest as crying and being unable to sleep. Most people attribute the constant crying to being gassy, but sometimes it's just that they can't figure out how to soothe themselves to sleep. Watch for signs of sleepiness BEFORE he starts to cry and try to figure out what will soothe him to sleep. Some signs might be: playing with the nipple and not sucking, staring into space (we called it looking at angels), restlessness. I know it's frustrating, so I hope some of these ideas help!

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Mayawrap! It was a life-saver for me with my high-needs preemie son. I vividly remember ordering it at 2am while crying. It made a huge difference. I was able to wear him, it soothed him and I could get things done around the house like cook so we didn't starve!

Google elimination diet and do know that if you go that route it takes more than just a couple of days for things like dairy or wheat to exit your system.

Make sure that you are burping him during nursing and after.

Could he have undiagnosed reflux/silent reflux? Try keeping him upright for at least 30 minutes after feeding, try a sleep wedge designed specifically for crib use. Talk to the doctor.

Also, look up the Happiest Baby on the Block info. It talks about the 5 s that you can use to soothe baby-swaddle, swing, shhhhing, and I can't remember the other 2 right off the top of my head.

C.G.

answers from Denver on

My youngest had colic and I feel your pain. Her bouts would start every night about 5 pm and not end until midnight. Our doctor had us put her on a soy formula and it was a life saver! It probably didn't take a week for things to change for the better.

I didn't breast feed but what the other ladies said make sense. Could be allergic to something you're eating or he just can't tolerate mothers milk.

The crying is the worst and I know it's wearing on you physically and emotionally. My best advice is to put him in his crib and walk away for a few minutes when you feel you're at the end of your rope.

M.A.

answers from Detroit on

Oh, how I remember those days, my oldest son would be nonstop crying and wake up every 20 minutes crying. No help around my house, as I was a single parent and lived 3 hours away from family and so called frineds. I used infants MYLICON drops, and warm peppermint water to relief stomach discomfort. Also moving the little legs gently up and down to ease some of the pressure.

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J.C.

answers from Nashville on

My baby got colic at 2wks old too and it didn't go away till she was 3 months old when I stopped breastfeeding and got her on the bottle. The pediatrician thought it was acid reflux and prescribed some medicine. that helped a little. He also told me to mix in some rice cereal in her bottle and that helped because my baby spit up alot sometimes projectile. I think it's was from all that crying that made her spit up so much and not acid reflux. Because now that the colic is gone she spits up normally. What really saved my sanity was a swing that goes side to side and back and forth.Puts em right to sleep and saves your arms. Also moving her from the bassinet to the crib in her bedroom helped us all get sleep. Babies like to stretch out and she kept hitting her arms against the side of the bassinet and that would wake her and scare her. then the crying would start all over again. Also Big Saver was getting her on a routine before bedtime. Bath, Lavender lotion, cuddle,sleep or bathed and buttered as we call it. We also got a teddy bear projector from walmart for 10 bucks that hangs on her crib and plays goodnight music for 5-10 minutes. So she knows it's time for bed when we do all that we are giving her permission to sleep and it makes her feel safe knowing what to expect because this is a new crazy world she has to adjust to. I hope this helps! hang in there ours started sleeping through the night at 3months. Message me if u need any more advice.

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D.C.

answers from College Station on

Please find some relief or some sort of break. Think of it as being unsafe if you haven't had any (or much) sleep! Can you find a reliable sitter? Someone from your church (or house of worship) maybe? Can you have your husband (DH) spend some time at home -- so you can put in some ear plugs and get an hour's rest? even if he needs to call it "sick leave" it would be worth it!

You have lots of other good suggestions. I have been there three times! After a while (4 weeks now?), you might want to consult your pediatrician. If there is something else going on (? thrush or teething ?), then maybe the baby needs some treatment. It is also possible that your pediatrician's office may have a list of competent baby sitters.

Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Denver on

GERD (gastro esophogeal reflux disease)... Take him to your pediatrician and have him evaluated for it. It could be reflux. My daughter had it when she was a baby. My daughter took zantac 2x's a day for hers. Once the medicine kicked in completely (2-4 days) the difference was night and day- I was a happy (SANE) mommy, and she as a happy baby) Another option is doing any elimination diet for yourself to see if you are eating something that it upsetting his tummy. Top offenders are dairy, soy, and spices. Have him sleep elevated. I bought a cradle swing and my daughter slept in hers for 3 months. Keeps them elevated, and gently sways them to sleep. God send and a sanity saver. PM me if you need some more tips, or just need to vent.

Best luck!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My son was colicky until he was 5 months old - I thought i was going to go crazy i hadn't had more than 3 hours sleep in a row in 5 months. My first pediatrician told me it was just his temperament so I didn't really get him help until I switched pediatricians. We changed his formula to the expensive stuff and I found a pediatrician licensed chiropractor - in weeks he was a different baby. Try to find why he has the cholic and find someone who can sit with him for a couple of hours to give yourself a break and take lots of car rides and then sleep in your car until he wakes up - as long as it doesn't get too cold!

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

If its worst after breastfeeding perhaps its something that you are eating. Try cutting out dairy first and see if it helps if you do a search it will come up with the other foods that you should try and avoid because they can cause fussy breastfed babies. My son was miserable his first 10 months wish I had found out sooner that he could not tolerate milk it would have made my life much easier.

Go for walks, car rides, run the vacuum, run the hairdryer, put him in his crib and walk away if you feel like you can't take it anymore.

Have you tried putting him to sleep in a carseat or swing instead of flat in a crib or craddle?

I swear by gripe water it saved my life until we got to the bottom of our little guy's issue. Try nursing for shorter periods but more frequently and see if that helps too. It is possible that he has some reflux issues if he gets worse after breastfeeding.

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D.M.

answers from Detroit on

If you are nursing, start an elimination diet. Something you are eating is bothering your little one. Dairy is a BIG offender so I would start there. Stop eating one food at a time, then see what happens after your nurse.

If using formula, you may need to go to soy (which is perfectly fine, as long as it is organic...I can get you documentation) or to a predigested formula, which is a bit more expensive, but will be more than worth it for baby and mommy's mental health. I am a wellness educator and having studied the relationship between diet and disease, I must urge you to not be cheap when it comes to healthful foods for your family. If your health is not worth investing in, I don't know what is.

Here is a website with a list of the most common offending foods, there are others. Just 'google' diet and colic. Good luck, it's an awful time when you so much want to enjoy the experience of being a new mother. Be well, D. http://www.colichelp.com/colicandbreastfeeding.html

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