My Toddler Pukes on Command ... for Fun ... Seriously. Help!

Hi L.,

I can totally relate as both my 4 year old and 2 year old were/are pukers!

It would mostly happen at bedtime when they did not want to go to bed. I was given some advice that took me a while to heed, but basically, just let them fall asleep in the puke and pay no attention to them when they do it. I have to say, it really worked quickly with my oldest! Once he was asleep, I would go in and clean up (this only works if you have a sound sleeper). Good luck!

Hi L.
Just let me say --- this is a serious situation.
Have you told the MD? Repeatedly told the MD?
They won't listen, but tell.
Why? because you have no paper trail at 12 when they start loosing weight and end up with a diagnosis of anorexia. How do I know? We did.
I could tell by reading it was not but the diagnosis sticks.
Even when they treat the gag reflux malfunction and it stops.
We are dealing with it on the college campus with the health professionals there. It sounds crazy but it is happening to us.
Please make sure it is on records, tell everyone. Till they treat. She was in the hospital a month before they found it and only because it was a caring MD who sat with her the day before we left and saw the gag reflux malfunction. It messes up blood, so don't think it is a funny quirk to be talked about with neighbors, but a medical condition to be talked about with the MD.
God bless you
K. SAHM married 38 years --- adult children 37, 33, and twins 18.

Hey L.,

I am a little concerned at the fact that your doctor has automatically assumed it is for attention. It could be something medical. Is he sticking his fingers down his throat to vomit or just vomiting freely? I agree with Karen it could be medical. I do know of people who have an easy gag (brushing their teeth etc) but usually there is something in their mouth (finger, toothbrush etc) being able to just throw up like that does concern me. He could begin loosing weight do damage to his esophagus. It could just be for attention and that is a whole other matter but if it is escalating I would be more aggressive about stopping it quickly. Sometimes doctors are so quick to dismiss things and that really bothers me. Has he even physically checked him? I would get another opinion so you can put your mind at ease and know for sure what you are dealing with. Good luck!!!

I know this is going to sound....strange. But...ignore it. You're saying, "How do I ignore that?!" Well, that's easier said than done, I know. Assuming there is nothing actually wrong, which it sounds behavioral, it must not get him ANY attention. Not a look, not a touch, not a word. NO attention. Not even body language. When he pukes, if you can, do not touch him. Use all the self control you can muster to go about cleaning it up as if it were as simple as wiping a face after a meal.

Here's the tougher part-- What ever food he was eating or whatever thing he was doing that he didn't like, continue it after the clean up, until he completes it. It must be done matter-of-factly. His puking cannot be effective in getting him out of what he's supposed to be doing and you can't give it any power by letting him know it has any effect what-so-ever.

Here's the second part to the task. Pick at least one activity each day and do that with him exclusively. Try to pick something that he hasn't puked during in the past :-). This should be an activity that you both enjoy. You should make eye contact, touch, and communicate. Let him know in a way he can understand that you enjoyed that time and praise your son in front of your husband. Just don't praise him for not puking. Don't mention the puking again.

If you are able to do all of these things, and this will not be an easy task, but if you are able to do this, it will be tough for a while, but it will stop.

Good luck. This is toughy. Have a friend on standby to call when you get frustrated with this process:-) Feel free to contact me with questions.

One more thing, althought what you described sounds behavoral, a sensitive gag reflex could be a sensory issue. You can check with a neurodevelopmentist on how to correct this problem. www.ican-do.org

Blessings,
T. E.
(mom of 4)
www.LiveWellShopSmart.com
www.LovinLifeWithHomeBiz.com

Well first if he does it in his high chair when you
put food in front of him, eliminate the food. Just
let him sit there and watch. Sounds cruel, but he will
decide to eat and hopefully without vomiting.

Hopefully he will outgrow this, but I can't imagine living with it. How about when you goH out? Does it
only happen at home? Good luck.

18 months is too young for it to be a control issue. Sounds like it could be a serious medical problem.... I'd ask for a second opinion from another MD. Good luck.

I just saw your post...and I laughed. My mom tells the story of me being almost 2 and throwing up when I was mad, I didn't want to go to bed or didn't want this or that to eat or wanted a toy... Well, I'm now 46 and I laugh every time she told the story. My dad finally got so upset with me after this went on for a few weeks - he told my mom the next time I did it, he would sit me in it... well he did it.. and I never puked again. Hay it worked..it may work for you. My mom had to clean it all up.. not a pretty sight. anyway.. i'm 46 and I've never done it again thank goodness!!! good luck If I know my mom, she is looking down from Heaven laughing. thanks for the memory!!

wow, that stinks! well, i havent dealt with that, but i will tell you what worked for me for lots of things, including when they try out the headbanging thing. i ignore it, truly turn my back on them, walk away if at all possible. as long as he is safe, a big obvious turn and walk and ignore - nothing. i guess that might allow for more of a mess with the puking, but its a mess anyway, so maybe give it a shot? or maybe plunk him into the empty tub or another contained safe place and walk away, all without a word or looking him in the eye, minimal physical contact, etc. i guess it will get messy, but i would do it to put a quick end to this. besides all the awfulness, i dont think it can be too good for him?
always remember that just because a reaction isnt positive doesnt mean they dont like it. think of all the power he has discovered with the puking, power over both of you, dramatic and instant, power over his body, his environment, power to make you change all his sheets clothes etc, power over what you are doing for the next 20 minutes, etc. what a trip for a little powerless guy, you know? especially when he now has to share you guys with a new little baby, who he is just about now probably realizing is there to stay. try to take that power away, find another way to give it to him. introduce him to the power of the lightswitch! i always thought it was so annoying, they love it, can control an entire room and everyone in it. now, reading your post, the lightswitch thing seems delightful in comparison lol! and i do wish you the best of luck!

Well isnt he the smart little thing. He sure knows how to get your attention and take you away from the infant. Like any other attention getting device (and he will think up more)he needs consequences. The next time you see him gag tell him he will be punished if he pukes. Of course he will puke, immediately isolate him in time out (DONT clean him) and then totally ignore him, while he screams and probably pukes some more. Dont fuss or comment when cleaning up his mess, just clean it up calmly and then go about doing something else. But dont pay attention to the infant either. If you have a play yard that would be the best place to stick him. After he stops screaming and after you have cleaned up, take him out of the time out and clean him without comment, then send him off to play. It will probably take a few days for him to figure out the puking isnt working, but you MUST be consistent. And you must ignore him totally.
Good luck

Hi L.,
I hope and pray that this is a phase he is going through related to the new baby and nothing more. It sounds as if he is using it as a power trip. I think your son is having nothing short of a temper tantrum whenever he is faced with something he doesn't like. My daughter would try to throw-up her veggies when I fed her them. I simply held her chin up and told her to swallow. She would fight but I do not give in. She does not try that with me any more. She would also cough until she threw-up too, if she was upset about something(mostly tired and cranky). I do not believe in ignoring bad behavior, but correcting it. When you see him starting to gag, stop him and tell him not to do that and cover his mouth,(or else you'll have a mess to clean-up). Do not get upset and yell, but let him know you are the one in control and he is not supposed to be doing that. I am blessed that my daughter is more intent on pleasing me,(I believe most children are) and would use that as a tactic to get her to do what she is supposed to and eliminate any bad behavior. At 18 mths. he is very little and hopefully as he grows, he will have more of an understanding about what and when he is supposed to do something. And this will be a memory you and your husband will look back at, laugh, and have as a story to tell him and his kids when he gets older. God Bless.

I haven't gone through this but my suggestion would be to give no attention at all when he throws up. I would clean him up and put him in bed or time-out. I wouldn't yell or speak to him or anything. If he doesn't get any attention for it at all - soon it will be not "fun" for him. When I used to put my 5 year old is in time out - she would yell and scream and fuss and tell me I'm mean and carry on - I paid no attention - when the 5 minutes was done I'd explain that I didn't like how she behaved - she said she was sorry - now when she is in time out - she just "takes it like a man" - Good Luck to you......I hope you find some peace.....Pins and needles - needles and pins - a happy parent is a parent who grins.....(honeymooners)

L., my daughter was like that. Only a very small percentage of kids do this (6%, maybe? And mostly girls. I read that somewhere). He's very precocious. Does he do this with the nanny?

What exactly do you consider a "short phase"? I want to say she totally outgrew it at 4 or 5, but that the behavior morphed along the way.

I agree with the doctor that you should stay calm and not call it naughty. At 18 months we were not having her help clean up, but at 3 we were, and she did not like it. This is just an attention-getter. Some kids will take any attention, good or bad--and hey! It works--he has your attention, doesn't he?

I am going to go out on a limb here... first of all, you have a new baby. Secondly, he's with a nanny and not mommy most of the day. This is his way of telling you that he needs more from you. I'm sure you feel you have no more to give (I've been there, believe me!!), but I bet this has a lot to do with it. I was home with my daughter and she still couldn't get enough attention from me when her brother was born. It was not pretty. But I digress...

I tried to be more proactive than reactive. Avoid triggers for the behavior, and try to give him undivided attention. This is really hard to do with a newborn, but it is what he needs.

Good luck!

Either he has a Medical Issue or Behavior Issue. Make some noise at the doctors office, or Find a Doctor that will listen!

I was going to suggest you making him clean it up (even if he doesn't do a good job), but I thought about it...Maybe he can't control it? Anyway, seek help immediately...

Best Wishes, CC

I'm going through the same thing, this started with my son at the age of 2, when he didn't want to go to the sitter, he threw up all over the place. Now he does it at school, restuarants, home, in the car, wherever.. I'm tired also. He's almost 11. The pediatrician told me that there was nothing wrong and gave me some type of medicine to help with the vomiting but my son would take it and vomit it up. Im not sure what to do so if you have any answers please list them. I can be contacted at ____@____.com... my name is Mrs. Smith