My Three Year Old Won't Use the Poddy

I told my DD it was against the law to wear diapers after 3 y/o. She knew how to use the potty and had been pooping in the potty since she was 6 months old but she would constantly pee herself. Then when she knew that was it, something shifted and it wasn't a power struggle anymore. It took she & I out of it and made it about something else.

I suspect she's still processing the recent changes in her life. Just being sympathetic but firm will prevail.

I hope that helps!

C.-WAHM to 4 y/o virtual twins
Owner: www.BeHappierAtHome.com

I have a two year old who is not potty trained yet, but we are going to start soon. I am 29 and I have my bachelor's in nursing. When I was 19, I worked in a daycare. I had a class of ten 2-3 year olds and I potty trained them all.
The secret to potty training is a potty schedule and panties.......not trainig pants or pullups or diapers, but good ol panties. What is hard, is that you will be doing lots of laundry for about a week or two, but the kids learn very fast because they don't like the feeling of being wet or poopy. With training pants, the kids feel it, but they feel it more when in regular underwear. Diapers and pullups don't work. It works for the parents because it is less of a mess, but it takes longer for the kids to be trained. The kids need to feel the discomfort and associate it with voiding in the toilet and not in their pants. This is quickly learned when putting them in underwear.

As far as the schedule goes, have your child sit on the toilet when she gets up, and explain the purpose of her sitting on the toilet. Also, have a candy/treat jar in the bathroom. Explain to your child that when she pees, she'll get one treat, and when she poops, she gets two. You can also use a sticker chart or something that is exciting to your child. (Candy worked really well for me because the kids didn't get it very often) Then every one and a half to two hours later, have her sit on the toilet again and explain what you're doing again, even if she doesn't have to go, still have her sit on the toilet. Repeating things to your toddler will help to ingrain the information in her mind. Have her stay on the toilet for a few minutes. If she is still having difficulty, run water from the sink. This helps associate the noise of running water with the flow of urine. Or take warm water, and pour it down the small of her back. This can help release the muscles around her urethera which allows her to void.
Keep the two hour schedule, and you can increase the time as you see fit. Or as she adjusts.

If you child wets her pants, stip her down in the bathroom and put her on the toilet so she associats wetting her pants with voiding in the toilet. And again explain to her what she needs to do. And then start your two hour mark from the time she voided in her pants.

The bowel movements were a little more tricky. As soon as I smelled one of the kids passing gas, we were off to the potty. They would sit on the toilet and I would explain what to do. It took some timt, but it eventually worked.

As soon as they go, MAKE A BIG DEAL about!!! :) This will make your child feel special. And be consistant. Consistancy is the KEY.
It was a huge accomplishment and something I was very proud of when all of the 10 kids in my class were potty trained. It took me about 2 weeks. The most difficult part was when the kids went home on weekends, the parents didn't follow through with what I was doing. So when Monday came around, I had to start over. But eventually it worked. It just would have worked faster if the parents were consistant too.

So, to sum it up......potty schedule, regular panties, doing lots of laundry for about a week, patience, and CONSISTANCY! :)
Let me know if you have any questions and best wishes!!!

I am not pushing my daughter much at all, I've known her for three years and she is very independent, has quit nursing, binky, everything on her own when she was ready without looking back. What does work for us is leaving her naked all day, she will use the potty every single time all day. Even now, when she does have a pullup on, she will sometimes remove it to go, sometimes not, but still wants to be changed after she goes. So we're doing the naked thing as much as possible to create a habit. I'm going to try a sticker chart next, as she does have to pushed a little before starting preschool this year!

My mom told my daughter that when she started using the poddy all the time that she would by her something at Toys R Us. She did that with my son also to get him to stop using his binky. Maybe an incentive like something new would help her along.
T. K

This sounds exactly like my son (up until 1 1/2 weeks ago) who just turned 3 at the end of Feb. I felt so completely inadequate as a mother in this area, and had no idea how to proceed from what you have described to a potty trained child.

Here's what I did, some of it may work for you as well: I prepared him for "no more diapers once you are three" the whole week before his birthday. Kept talking about it excitedly, telling him about friends who use the potty, that sort of thing. The morning I had set to begin (last Monday), I took his nighttime diaper off, told him no more diapers any more and took the remainder of the diapers out of his room and replaced them with a few pullups (for naps and night). We kept his bottom bare at first, with just loose sweat pants on that he could pull up and down on his own. He had a few accidents those first 2 days, and asked for a diaper a time or two (I said no, of course, reminding him that he was a big 3 yr old now), but by just the third day he was going to the potty every single time on his own. Now he's using underwear and we have had very few accidents. I used some ideas from Potty Training in a Day (small treats for going, little treats thru-out the day for staying clean and dry, teaching one of his stuffed animals to go potty, etc). But I think the key was that I was confident and calm in the decision that he would not wear a diaper anymore, communicated that to him, and stuck to it. There is absolutely no need to punish anything at this point - she hasn't yet been taught to do anything differently than what she has been doing. Look at it from the perspective that this is a choice YOU have to make for her, she will not make it for herself, and it is probably the first of many things we as parents are responsible to teach our children how to do - it's not a natural developmental leap. It is as much (or more) a discipline for us, the parents, as it is for the child, I think!

Good luck - I would just encourage you to decide when to start and go for it - don't look back. You both will feel great when you can celebrate her success together!

Feel free to write me a personal message, I'd be happy to answer any other questions, give you more info about what we did/are doing, or just commiserate with you on the whole endeavor!

I potty train at 2 or sooner. When I deside it is time to potty train, no more diapers. Do not use them at night only panties. All my kids potty train at night too because of this. Kids are way smarter than we give them credit for, they know a diaper from panties. 3 is old enough to clean herself up. Make it her job to clean up the mess, If she taked her own diaper off and gets a new one, give her panties!!! She is a big girl:)

I think the problem is she is not ready and it is ok..there is no real magic age. You have to be strong and not let other mothers badger you about her not being potty trained. They decide, it is their choice. She might miss you sometimes too and this gets attention.

Hi J.!

Don't stress yourself out over it. I know this is easier said than done. I've had to re-train my daughter (5) about 3 times now because anytime she goes through any sort of change she regresses. The last time was due to a major move from SC to WA where she left all her friends and both sets of grands behind. She completely went backward and I was beside myself on what in the world to do about it. We tried many things: pullups, discipline, rewarding her .. nothing seemed to be getting through. Finally my husband started setting the alarm on his phone and having her go potty when it went off. It took a couple of weeks, but it worked. A lot of praise to go along with this as well as a few little treats. I'm not big on giving her candy due to her being slightly overweight, but she loves shopping with me. I took her to pick out a couple outfits for her being 'so good!'

Don't know if this helps, but we understand what your going through. It can be such a tough and stressful time. Just keep telling yourself that she WILL learn it and try to remain patient.

I let my daughter go without pants or panties for a week or two. She was so much more aware of the signals when she knew there was nothing there to catch it. There were some messes, but not nearly as bad as one would think. The sensation of clothes for some kids is almost as good as a diaper. Being naked made a mess on the floor and legs and suddenly she really understood. I would try not to get upset - and just have her nicely help me clean it up after sitting on the potty to finish her business. I couldn't believe how well it worked. She also had stickers on a chart every time she made it to the potty on time.

Run out of diapers and don't buy more. You can always "unexpectedly" find one that was hiding at bedtime each night. This way, you are not forcing anything.

My daughter went through almost the same thing. It's time to take off the Diaper for good and get a good Book Everybody poops, you can find it at most good bookstores or even the Library. You can incorporate the book with going potty also letting her know big girls use the potty like Mommy and it really helped. I also made sure when ever I took her to a store we talked and showed her where the potty was so she wouldnt be afraid that there wasn't a place to go. Hope this was helpful.

I have the same problem, my son is so stubborn the other morning he didn't want to pee on the toilet and I refused a diaper that he ran into my room and blatenly pee'd on my floor and ran to tell me about it like he was proud. I came unglued.
today he asked for no diaper and I was all excited until he pee'd on my bed on purpose too. he just sat there and pee'd then told me about it.

I have decided that he no longer gets the choice to wear underware. he must wear a diaper until he can be a big boy. he knows exactly how to go on the toilet he's done it before. he just refuses.

He isn't defiant really any other time. but about going potty he gets defiant. makes no sense to me. I give up!

So in diapers he will stay until he decides to go potty on the toilet every day for a week, i guess... I don't know! argh... very frustrating...

My son did the same thing for a long time. I put him in underwear at about age 3 and he would have accidents 4-5 times a day until age 3.5 or so. I wouldn't force your daughter to do anything, as it seemed very counter productive in my situation. My son eventually started using the potty more and more. He's a little over 4 now and still has 2-3 accidents a week. I think that he gets too caught up in what he's doing and forgets to pee. I always try watch him closely (for the pee dance) and make him use the bath-room on a schedule. I would stay relaxed, make her clean up her own messes and let her go at a comfortable pace for her.

Hi There,

I know it can be so difficult and I am sure you have received some great advice already. The one thing that worked for my daughter was we did a reward system. We did what we called the potty chart on a big colorful paper you write the day of the week and have stickers. So every time she uses the potty she gets to pick a sticker that she really likes and put it on the potty chart then after she fills the week up or four days you reward her by getting to play a game with you or read a book that she really likes to read or maybe let her pick something out for dinner ( a part of it of course). My daughter was so excited to get a sticker and put it on the chart. Try to be patient with yourself. Your daughter will figure it out. I am sure if you tell her about what a big girl gets to do when you stop wearing diapers or training pants. You could also try taking up all the training pants and diapers and ask her if we could help all the other babies out there that need diapers by giving them to the diaper fairy. Just a few ideas. I hope it works for you. Remember have fun!
Good Luck and God Bless
M.