My Son Will NOT Stop Hitting

At your son's age, verbal correction and redirection may not be enough. Time outs aren't effective for all children, and generally aren't considered to be worth much before 18 months or so. Warnings can easily become just another useful way to get Mama's attention. Tough, huh?

What may work, with a couple of weeks of persistence, is a five-pronged approach.

1. Be on guard – for long periods of time, ready to intercept a hit (this is termed "shadowing" an aggressive child). It's a pain, perhaps but probably less so than losing your job. Stay near enough your son that you can watch him, inconspicuously, out of the corner of your eye. Pretend you aren't watching him at least some of the time, or he'll think he has to behave only when you're on guard.

2. The moment he hits or throws something at the other child, speak sharply and sternly: "NO hitting!" No warnings here; act on every offense the first time. If he gives any warning that it's about to happen, stop him first.

3 (or 4). Hold his offending arm gently but firmly, and direct him on nice touch, soft touch, or gentle touch. It may help to use the same term each time. Use his hand to stroke the other child. Tell the other child "Sorry, Sammy," in a tender voice. (I don't think you should "make" your son say he's sorry before he actually is – it's teaching a convenient lie.) When your son has gently stroked the hurt place, with your help, give positive messages like "Good. That's right. I love it when you are gentle. Oh, that's such a nice touch!" Give your son positive messages so he won't want to settle for scoldings for his attention.

4 (or 3). If the other boy is crying, get between them and comfort him FIRST. Let your son know that when he does this, he ends up waiting for your attention.

5. Be proactive about your son's developmental need to use that over-arm throwing/hitting motion. He's developing brain/body coordination, and that's a very common way for children to work on that at his age. So make up throwing games, with a soft toy and a basket or box as a target. Use long, soft objects to hit an approved target. Wear out that impulse! You can incorporate this during an after-hit session, but it might be even more effective if you introduce it when your son has been playing peacefully so he won't begin to think of it as a reward for hitting.

But try the shadowing – don't be distracted by TV or phone so you can really attend to the behavior. That's what you're being paid to do, so give it everything you've got!

Its a learning curve for a child this age.

You are also with another child.

He is also in someone else's home and routine.

He cannot yet verbalize himself. Per his age.
Feelings/emotions are not even fully developed yet in a child this young, nor communication.

KEEP in mind, that at this age and through 2 years old... a child does not 'play' interactively. They do what is called "parallel play." And they do not know socialization nor social rules. Yet.

If tired/hungry/over-stimulated... this is also a way in which babies/young Toddlers try to "Shut-Out" external stimuli.

A kid this age, does not know how to 'share.'

The "expectations' you have for these kids, needs to be age-appropriate. Your kid is only 19 months old. They don't know abstract social rules or feelings yet. They are 'reactors' to things.
Redirect him or distract him. At this age, lecturing will not go over so well.

And if doing it for fun, well at this age, things like that are funny to them. They are not mastered at knowing what a person's facial expressions/voice/feelings... mean, e.x.a.c.t.l.y.
To them, it is funny. Their emotions are not even fully formed nor developed.

Cause/effect. Reactors. That is this age.

It will change. It is a phase.

I would, when he does that, put him elsewhere. Say NO. Not nice.
Put him someplace else.

Keep in mind his age and development.
If expecting his reactions to be like that of an older kid, there will always be frustration...

I had a hitter/biter combo and the child care center did an evaluation where they watched him for a few days, noted triggers and then proactively - before an incident occured- re-directed him.
We did a lot of playdough and clapping games and read the book (at school and home) "Hands are not for hitting." Reinforced gentle touches, etc.
I do feel that spanking as a punishment for hitting is coutnerproductive "don't hit" - whack! you just hit him. He doesn't know the difference. Mixed signals for a little one. While removing him to a timeout is easiest for you, it is not teaching him anything other than "I hit and then mommy puts me in a special place and has to pick me up and move me." Attention!!
It is a development stage and is a result of lack of ways for him to communicate.
I am not sure if you have a Child Development ASsociates degree or background in child development, but if not there is a great program in Arington called Kith n Kin. It is geared to family members who watch other family members children providing them skills and tools to support the kiddos, keep their sanity and manage situations like this.
There are also a ton of trainings and through workforce connections ??( the folks who manage unemployment) there is grant money available for child care workers to get their CDA (at night) and other levels of training at NO COST!!! Could really help you feel more in control of the situation and really add value in the eyes ofyour employer:)
Good Luck!

Record at what time your son does most of the hitting - when sleepy, hungry, during play, and then separate them at that time. Distract them with something else. Your son is not mean, he is just not capable of expressing his frustration quite yet, and the more you give it attention it might seem fun to him. So when he does it next time, tell him no, but find something else for him to occupy himself at that point. He might be a bit jealous of the attention you are giving to the other boy as part of your job. He doesn't understand, so maybe all he needs is more attention and love from you.

spanking is fine & effective....beating is another story

HOWEVER first try speaking in a very stern & authoritive voice, face to face and just say 'no hit'

Pop his hand everytime and then move him to time out. I have 3 girls 16, 9 and 6. Everyone has been spanked and they are great kids. Because they learned at an earlt age what the consequinces were.

He's almost 2... spanking is probably going to work much more than what you've been doing so far. Do not forget - you have to think of your client's son's safety... and your son isn't allowing him to stay safe.

Spanking and isolation/harsh time outs may work better for your child to understand his behavior will NOT be accepted.