My Daughter Wants No Parts of Poty Training!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Updated on April 16, 2007
N.C. asks from Philadelphia, PA
14 answers

Hi, Ladies
My daugher is 2 1/2 and she refusses to use the potty. I have tryed just about everything. If any one have any advise or suggestions let me know I am opened to try anything.............lol. It was different with my son by the time he was 18 months old he was trained. Thank you in advance.

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to thank everyone for all of your advice! After a month of trying everything I finally jut put the potty in the corner and never said anything again. One morning my daughter asked if she could go to school with her brother and I told her as long as she was wearing a diaper she could not go. And this went on for over a month! On morning after my son left for camp I was in the kitchen getting my cup of coffee, when I turned around she was sitting on the potty and she said can I go to school now!!!!!!!!!!!! It is about 2 weeks and she has been doing awesome no accidents! So I guess when they say "she will do it when she is ready" they are right. Thank you again for all your comments.

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D.T.

answers from Erie on

I gave my son 3 years to potty train. I SWORE he'd be OUT of diapers by the time he was three. I seriously think he KNEW I'd done that too. Because, he was a month OVER three years before he was trained. He just wasn't READY till then, I guess. Kids are different and respond differently too. Don't make a big problem out of it, but when she DOES use the potty, praise her with exaggeration. Make a big deal out of THAT. Popsicles worked well for my son. He loved them! Fruit ones without so much sugar taste just wonderful to lil kids who get a 'reward' for going in the potty. For my son, I put a toy in the little potty and he 'aimed' at it. Made it a game. I have NO clue how to train a girl like that tho.

Have patience; it will happen when it happens.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I will tell you my secret to changing baby habits if you promise not to contact DYFUS on me!!! hahaha

My older daughter who is now 12 used a pacifier until she could speak in full sentences, 4 syllable words and could read a book. I was embarassed and frankly concerned on why she needed to cling to this little habit. We tried everything we could think of but other family members would think it was cute and send her the darn things in the mail as gifts! One day we were down to one lonely pacifier so I hid it. She screamed and cried and her father couldn't take it anymore. We pulled into a store and I ran in to buy a new one. I decided to pick up a newborn pacifier in really cool colors. When she tried to go to sleep sucking on this thing it kept flying out of her mouth because the length was just too short! hahaha I have really never laughed so hard.

I decided to apply this same concept to potty training my now 3 year old daughter who is over 45 pounds and 42 inches tall (that's a whole other story!). I was frustrated with her refusal and the fact that she constantly was uncomfortable with not really fitting into the size 6 diapers or pullups I found. So I decided what day to start and bought a smaller size 5. Two days went by and I bought a size 4, then 3. Each day when she complained I said "Boy, these diapers seem like they are for tiny babies, don't you think? You must be growing into a big girl now. Want to try using the potty instead and wearing underwear?" After about a week and a half and slight irritation and a rash on her hip from the snug diaper, she quit cold turkey like it was all her idea!!!

Its been about 5 weeks and she has had one overnight accident and I save about $40 a month on diapers, cream and wipes!

So maybe your daughter won't like wearing a diaper-thong either!!

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter Miranda was also a bit head strong too about the potty. Fortunately the nice weather is coming. I had Her in sundresses mostly and got her to the potty once an hour just to chill and usually I would read her "once apon a potty" or talk about what a good job she was doing and play that video with the awful potty song once a day. just stay consistant. try to stick the pattern in her normal schedule and don't give up. It really helped when the other moms would get into the act with their kids at their house or our house. she would watch alexia go on her travel loop(target like 8 bucks which you can take anywhere) and be facinated that she was such a big girl and we would talk her up like she was really doing something awesome.." Wow alexia you're such a big girl.That's great you can go on the potty.... also I specified pull ups as something different than a diaper. That helped for long trips and night time to not confuse her with the whole diaper ritual. Well, and the big help was when we went to the beach with my sisters and mom. They all got in on the positive reinforcement... M is 3 and a half now and she still yells at the top of her lungs " Mommy I poopied on the potty!!! and I act just as thrilled and when there's an accident I just handle it calmly and say that's ok next time you'll make it.
It helps to keep the mini carpet cleaner( just be careful to keep that awful cleaning fluid out of reach..) and paper towels at the ready. Uh oh can replace ohh nooo!! ..and after it seems like forever then youll be worrying about her back talking the pre school teacher and have forgotten this drama ever happened. Ahhh thank heaven for little girls. Oh an popsicles made with the tupperware ice tups and smoothie recipes GL A.

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A.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi N.! All that I can say is my son didn't become "officially" potty trained until he was three! He started at about your daughter's age and we made such a big deal out of it that it seemed he would be totally "housebroken" (LOL!!!) in no time! Soon, however, the big deal that we were making of it was too big of a deal for my son to handle. He began using the potty less and less frequently until he was back in pull-ups full-time. Mind you that this whole thing lasted about a week or two total. After speaking to my pediatrician, he told me that my son has developed the first stage of potty training - an interest in using the potty. The rest would come when he was ready. This was ABSOLUTELY the case for us! We completely backed off about the potty. Didn't even mention it to our son. Before long, he went into the bathroom himself, asked me to help him with his zipper and went. He's never looked back and has probably only had two accidents in his life (including bedtime)!!!
My best advice would be to just give it time. Every kid is different!
Good Luck,
A.

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T.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi N.. I just wanted to tell you not to worry. Kids are all different. All three of my children were potty trained at different times in thier little lives. Kids do what they want to do when they want to do it, and not a minute before. I'm sure your daughter won't be going to kindergarten in a diaper. My niece was over three years old when she just up and decided she was going to be potty-trained. My sister thought she was never going to do it, but all in one day, she just decided she didn't want to wear diapers anymore. Good Luck and enjoy those babies! Thier baby time doesn't last long enough.

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J.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

If she isn't ready, then you shouldn't waste your time. Take a break from it and try it again in a few months. Good luck!

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H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It sounds like your son potty trained early and easily -- how nice. 2.5 isn't really late so while I really like the creativity of the other suggestion, another option is to just let it go and give her a bit more time. It sounds like the other little girl was probably older. Sometimes even a month can make a big difference and pressing them can just make them more determined to not do what you want them to do. I know my daughter is quite stubborn. She was about 2.75 when she trained spontaneously on her own...just woke up from nap asking to wear underpants and that was that. Around 26 months she had gone through a period of interest and went potty several times a day. It was right in the midst of Christmas season so I didn't really have the ability to devote several days to really training. After the new year, she completely lost intereste and refused to go neat the potty. We left the potties out, but didn't press the issue. The potties were there and she had underpants within her view/access for when she wanted them. It took until July, but once she decided to wear them, she never had an accident.

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M.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

hi first let me say i have a little bit of potty training experiance. i was a "potty triaing teacher" at a daycare i worked at and i have ran into several of the "dont even try to take me near it" childern. i have noticed that some kids need time to just sit near it. i dont mean like sit next to it but maybe in the bathroom as a introduction let her decided when it is time for her to sit on it but have her go in the bathroom maybe every hour and a half for maybe 5 mins let her get use to it she will warm up to it make sure not to make her feel pressure about going. well that was a bit of the teacher now with my own daughter this is something different her twin was fully potty trained within 2 weeks started at 2 1/2 years. my little one would actaully hold it all day at daycare till it was time to go home and exploded she would sit on the potty no problem but never went i was so concrened doctors just kept saying she will be ok finally this year we switched daycares and within 2 weeks she was potty trained she is 4 now it is all up to the child i think and remember it is not just stressful on you but on her too. this is a new and strange thing she is doing. and also talk to you doctor if there is any concerns

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P.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Sometimes kids get involved in other things they are doing and
learning. My theory is: don't let it get to be a power struggle. I figured my daughter would get out of diapers or pull-ups by college. (Honest) As it happened, she got trained for day two weeks before the average date: 3 and 1/2 yrs. She finished night training at five years, also average.
Kids differ. Your son was early (in this). Your daughter is on schedule. Good luck!

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P.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

hey my daughter is 3 and won't use the potty.. so if u find out the "secret" let me know! At her last well visit the doc told me she'll go when she's ready. So when it gets warmer out i';m just gonna put some panties on her and go from there.

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J.S.

answers from Reading on

If she's giving you that much of a hard time, then she's probably just not ready. I went through this last summer with my daughter. What finally worked for me was letting her go bottomless. I put a sundress on her and that was it. She had no choice but to go in the potty. She did pee on the floor a bunch of times and I made her clean it up. She even pooped on the kitchen floor 2x (I cleaned that), but within 3 days, she got the message after trying everything else for 2 months. I also gave stickers and let her put them on the wall when she peed and gave her beaded necklaces from the dollar store when she pooped.Just have lots of patience and don't punish her if she has accidents. Just tell her it's ok, but have her help clean it up!

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

my daughter is 3.5 and won't use the potty but she is autistic so they tell me it is normal that she doesn't want to use the potty she knows how but just cant' change her routine to include the potty my son is now six was very resistant he wasn't trained until 3 what i did was stop and waited a couple of weeks then i took him shopping and he picked out all of his own potty supplies and within two weeks he was trained....

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H.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, I don't have much advice on the front of actually getting her trained but from one mommy who is going through the same thing with her son to another mommy, good luck and tried to be patient. Most people keep telling me that most kids will train when they are ready. I believe my son is ready. He will hold it whenever we try to get him to go. In fact, I tried the naked approach for over 2 hours one night. I had him sit on the potty for 5-10 minutes each hour during that time. Nothing. He held it the whole time. About 10 minutes after diapering him again, he wet.

So just know that you are not alone out there and tried to be patient. That is what I am doing. I still try to get him to go but I'm trying not to push yet.

Good luck.

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S.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hey N., my daughter is 2 1/2 as well amd wants nothing to do with the potty. THere was a phase that she did go through that she did use the potty, she even pooped on the potty, but now she doesnt want to use it. I ask her everytime i change her diaper and she says "no". Once in awhile she might ask to go, i sit her on the potty then she tells me "i dont have to go". Its very frustrating. I work full time and she is in daycare, i know they are trying to work with her as well, but she just doesnt want any part of it. If you figure out a good way, i would love the advice.

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