My 3 Year Old Has Terrible Nightmares

Updated on May 13, 2011
H.J. asks from Liberty, MO
6 answers

My three year old daughter has suddenly in the past 3 weeks stopped sleeping in her room. She says monsters are getting her and she will not even take a nap in there unless her light is on. The last couple of nights she has slept with just me in my bed, my husbadn slept on the couch, and she was having the worst nightmares I have ever seen. I learned the first night to not touch her or talk to her while she is having the episode so I just let her flail about until she stops. She is screaming and kicks and flailing her arms it is really horrible. Has anyone else been through this? I feel like I may need to take her to the doctor to talk about it because I am afraid she will get hurt. She has already gotten bruises on her shins from kicking around in her bed and her legs hitting the guard rails that keep her from rolling out of bed. Any imput or suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks
H.

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S.S.

answers from Rochester on

I have a 3 1/2 year old beautiful boy, and his "monster" phase started a couple of months ago. Through much reflection (I can remember when it was ME as a kid with the same fear) and a little trial-and-error, I have realized the following (and the issue improves every day): 1) Never, ever agree that there are or could be monsters. Tell him there are absolutely no monsters anywhere in the entire world. Be sure to make him repeat aloud the words "There's no such thing as monsters" every time you have to assure him. 2) Tell him there are no monsters, but assure him that "If I was a monster, which I'm not - because there's no such thing- I would be a nice monster. If you were a monster, which you're not - because there's no such thing - you would be a nice monster. So see? Monster doesn't even mean something bad, anyway." 3) Turn off the light and on the nightlight and look around the room. Are there any creepy shadows? My son helped me with this by telling me what I had to move (a door hook, a pile of comforters stored on a door shelf, etc.) to avoid those shadows. 4) Make sure he's reminded every time he's exposed to a monster (television, movies (oops! sometimes happens, as hard as we try to avoid it), children's books) that the monster is not real. Explain it is someone in makeup, or it's a drawing (or whatever the case). I have many times said, "That was an actor." And then went on to explain, "He said his lines and then the director yelled "CUT!" The actor got up and said, "Oh, good. Now I can get some lunch." Even act it out for him. This works well if he's seen dead/injured people (oops again!) on television or in a movie. Bottom line: be patient. Listen. Be creative.

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A.O.

answers from Dallas on

She slept with a lamp on in the room for a long time.

I think the thing that worked the most was that we got the book "Go Away Big Green Monster" We read that and she practiced it and even heard her a few times saying "Go away". Although it can backfire when she sees mascots places and says the same thing to them. LOL
Glad she was listening.

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L.K.

answers from Springfield on

I don't know what to say about the nightmares, but I know some ideas to take on monsters. We let our 3 year old take a flashlight to bed. It is a key chain with a button that you have to hold down to keep the light on. (My uncle had a regular flashlight burn a mark into his carpet over night. So I don't want my son to have one in his bed.) I have heard of other parents using room spray as monster spray. Keeping closet doors and curtains closed can also help. Good luck.

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R.S.

answers from Kansas City on

A friends son started having night terrors. He would wake up about the same time every night. Her doctor advised to wake him up after he's been sleeping for a few hours to break the cycle. She had to make sure and get him wake up completely and talk with her so she was sure to get him out of that deep REM sleep. It did finally pass, but comes back occassionally when he's sick. I would talk with your doctor as well.

A.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I'd say night terrors. My daughter went though this and its horrible. I had no idea what to say she had but it killed me. It came at a very stressful time, he father and I were having alot of problems, I was pregnant with our second child and she went from my dads house while I was at work to going to a home daycare and we had only been in our new house a few months. I have read on night terrors, I called the docs and said nightmairs and they said no. It happens approx the same time every night, normally within 30 mintues to 2 hours after bed. There are I believe 5 stages of sleep but they are in the stage right before nightmares. Nightmares they remember, night terrors arent to often rememberred. There is no calming them down, you think they are awake and they really arent. I've read to put thier feet in cool water when having one and some say that thier kid has never had them after that. They can last for a short time, or can last a long time. Normally they only last 30 minutes per episode, or no more, sometimes less. Periodically my daughter has one, but not like an everyday thing before. I would look up night terrors and see what you can come up with, the more you know the easier to handle when they happen. Also I read that its not a good idea to let them sleep with you because a slight movement or noise from you can set them into one if they are at that stage of sleep. My doc advised to give benedryl to help sleep at night and that helped a bit but she finally got out of them and she was only like 15 months old, she is now 3. I couldnt imagine going through it again and I have 2 younger kids now so I just pray I don't have to go through it with them. Wish you the best of luck with it and hope they end soon for the sake of all of you.

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

It sounds like night terrors. I would suggest you take her to the dr. My cousin had night terrors like that and they had to give him a sedative at night to help him sleep. My 3 year old is in the "monsters in the room" phase and not sleeping very well (waking up screaming), but it's no where near that extreme. It's frustrating isn't it? I know I'm going through kind of the same thing where I jus tdon't know how to get her to sleep through the night without waking up twice in a screaming fit. I'm sorry, maybe this wasn't much help. I'd just say take her to the dr.
Good Luck!
C.

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