My 2 1/2 Year Old Rarely Says "I Love You" to Me

Updated on November 06, 2012
S.A. asks from Bremerton, WA
9 answers

He will say it to everyone else freely, but it's like pulling teeth for him to say it to me. I'm starting to take it personally! lol Is that normal? I know he loves me, but just wondering why he barely says it.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suggest that he may not saying I love you because you're so anxious and pushing him to say it. Kids are so sensitive to anxiety and will often respond by either withdrawing or acting out.

I also suggest that he may not be saying it because the two of you are so close he doesn't feel the need to say it. He says it to other people because he isn't with them as much.

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Normal. Leave him be.

He's probably saying it to others because you tell him to.

He figures it's understood and he doesn't need to say it. You probably anticipate his various needs anyway. Does he say "I want breakfast"?? No, because you're right there with it.

He's so close to you that there's no need to express the obvious.

If you don't believe this, just try going away for a day or two. You'll find out how much he needs you!!!!

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.F.

answers from Dallas on

Before I opened this I knew he was a boy. Totally normal. He loves you, mom. You are almost another part of him, not completely separate. You're not going any where so why should he say I love you? (he thinks)

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Actions speak louder than words. He's 2...and he's male - you need to relax and stop pushing it. You're his mommy and he loves you - and he takes you for granted (LOL). The "I love you" he says to others isn't the same feeling he feels for you.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

a boy playing head games with a woman at such a young age? yup, you'd better believe it!

my son didn't mutter a single word until he turned 3. but i knew he loved me. the old saying "Actions speak louder than words" is particularly suiting here. it's likely he assumes that you know he loves you, because it is that self-evident to his little self, that he sees no point in saying it. don't dwell on it!

2 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Well I have a child who is a more reserved person and he doesn't say it to me much, I have never noticed if he says it to others. But one thing I do is I tickle him, blow bubbles on his little belly and I tell him I love him while giggling and then I just ask him if he loves me, he says yes with a sweet smile or nods and that is how we are lovey dovey, it's great. I really do that bc he is such a thinker and he is wrapped up with his brothers a lot and the middle child so I want to make sure we share affectionate moments and that he gets loved on enough. He loves it and has now been saying he loves me on his own. I didn't really start the practice for him so much to say that to me but to make sure he was getting the attention needed bc he really causes no trouble and it is easy to be caught up in my really active first born or the needs of the baby. But maybe try that, just some playful fun mommy time of giggles and cuddles and you just telling him how much you love him and see how that goes. He loves you tons, just may be more of a reserved little man and you are mom, he figures you know already!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Shreveport on

It will actually vary from male child to male child. My first son wasn't big on saying I love you to me or anyone for that matter. But my second son I swear that was all he wanted to say to me. He wouldn't say it to too many others but for me it was almost every time he turned around he was saying it.

2 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just keep saying it...

...he will say it freely soon enough!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.W.

answers from Portland on

Marda and Diane are spot on. Like most things in life, choose to focus on your son's actions, not the words.

(Think about it this way-- how many people have you met in your life who will easily say "I love you"-- and then turn around and act in ways which do not support their statement?)

My son is five and is still very much like this. He's all over his buddies, professing his love, and only once in a while lobs an "I love you" over to me. "Show me with your actions" is a big phrase in our house, and I do actually get lots of real, physical love and affection from him. You will do well if you choose to focus on how *he* expresses affection. With boys, it is often very different from the more verbal way girls have. This is due to communication styles.

And don't get too complicated or overthink it. Just assume that he loves you unless he tells you otherwise.:)

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions