Moms That Don't Have There Children Living with Them

wow... congratulations on two years sober... i'm sure that without the this time spent working on yourself you wouldn't have been the kind of mother you are now capable of being. It's easy for some to pass judgement but you know you did what needed to be done for yourself and believe it or not that is exactly what your son needed. His mom healthy and well so she could be mom and take care of him. Be patient with your ex, i'm sure these past couple years have been h*** o* both him and your son. All you can do now is look to the future and decide whats best for everyone, especially your son. My only advice is to try to show your son that you love yourself enough to help yourself and you love your ex for helping you to help yourself. When you show your children you love your self and others it teaches them not only to love but to be loved by themselves and the people around them... if you pray and give it to god it will all work out.. stay strong... and stay sober... one day at a time.. ;)

I think the previous post may have been a little harsh. If you have been sober for two years, I would find a cusody lawyer who can talk to you about the options for applying for longer terms of visitation and possibly a child therapist to talk about ways to do this with minimal upheaval for your son (though it doesn't sound like this is too much of a problem if he wants to come back to you.) Depending on his age, a judge may take his wishes into account as well.

My ex husband has physical custody of 3 of my children. I see them about 1/2 of the time. I've gone through fazes of feeling bad about this living style. I've learned to just be there for them. Talk to them, and spend time with them. Tons of toys and gadgets don't make up for good quality parent time. Sometimes just a ride to the mall or a trip to the park is all they really need. My 17 yr old pretty much was on his own for a while because his dad worked nights. But I always made sure I was there for him. Food for him to snack on (dad never had good snacks) and just a phone call to see how's he's doing has paid off. Now my son see's me for who I am, and not what he was told, and he wants to be with me. He's just waiting for me to have a bigger apartment for the family so he doesn't impose.

Just be there for him and love him. He will see you for who you are and all you've accomplished.

Good luck.

C.

Congrats on sobriety!! I respect anyone who can get life back on track! Getting your son back may take some time. Don't give up!! I would check into a lawyer who has experience in this situation and I agree that a judge will listen to a child depending on his age. In the meantime, spend all the time with him that u can and always make the most of yout time. Your love is important to him and he will see it no matter if u are the fulltime legal guardian or not.

Hi A., I think you should try to speak from the heart to your son's Dad. He should be proud of your clean and sober status. You could also get free legal help with this from the Northeastern Legal program. I'm sorry I don't have the number but call the Mass. Bar Association and they'll help from there. Good Luck

A. I certainly hope you don't listen to people who say once a loser always a loser. I really pity people like that.

Congrats on your sobriety! That's a great thing for you AND your son.

First of all try to take into account how his dad must be feeling. Of course he's making it difficult because it's been all him while you got your life together. Can't really blame him for being a bit resentful right? What you both need to is take an honest look at what is the best thing for your son. Stability is crucial for a child. They need that sense of security. Try asking yourself these questions:

Do I want custody for ME or do I think it is the best thing for my son?

Is more visitation in lieu of full time custody a possibilty?

Bottom line is all decisions need to be made to the best interest of your son. Regardless of personal feelings. If after really searching your soul you decide that you honestly feel your son being with you is the best thing then I would get a lawyer and proceed. Good luck to you all!