Moms-how Do You Handle This?

The people who had the nerve and rudeness to do this to me were my inlaws. I HATED it. I initially tried to reason with them. That just led to them being more rude.

I did not allow my daughter to have bottles when she went to bed. I brushed her gums.

They put DR. PEPPER in their kids' bottles and let them sleep with it. No wonder their baby teeth were rotted out.

I limited contact and don't share with them since they don't respect us enough to shut up. That might not be an answer for you.

I'm with J. K in that I don't feel the need to explain my parenting choices to other people. Can't you just smile and say that's great? Then change the subject.

People say the most inane things, most likely because they like to hear themselves talk.

"I'm glad that worked for you, this works for us" or "I'll keep that in mind" in a nice friendly voice work for almost any unsolicited advice

The problem is that it's factually NOT the same as when we were kids! That's the rub for me.

I didn't grow up eating genetically modified food, or at least a big percentage of it. I didn't grow up eating high fructose corn syrup.

I didn't grow up eating a large percentage of my meals from restaurants, the way many kids do today.

I didn't grow up eating vegetables and fruit shipped across the country or continent (we ate out of my dad's garden and my mom canned).

Food processing and manufacturing has changed alot even in the last 20 years.

Good for you, and don't apologize. You are correct imho.

I don't mean this in any way to be disrespectful..

But I think you need to turn off the fear mongers. Us baby boomers slept in dropside cribs, had crib bumpers and were even covered with blankets. We ate food that was covered in pesticides, herbicides and any other kind of 'cide' you can think of and we, if you listen to the fear mongers out there, we should have had kids with 3 heads and 5 feet. We should have all died by 40.

I do get what you are saying though. I have been eating low sodium for over 30 yrs, no MSG, I haven't bought a Twinkie for so many years I can't remember. I do eat very healthy.

However I do not believe in organic foods--here's why.
You have no idea what is buried in the ground 10-20 feet below what that farmer is growing. That farmer could be certified organic and may not have used any chemicals in 20 yrs but for all you know there could be an illegal toxic waste dump 100 yds from his field polluting the ground water for miles. If some chemical company, mining company, construction company dumped chemicals in the 1960's --that's 50 yrs ago and went out of business and kept no records who would know?

Well, if YOU feel the need to explain your choices:

"We don't let our kids eat/have that. We believe it's healthier that way"

It makes a certain amount of sense that THEY would ALSO feel the need to explain themselves:

"We let our children have that. We had it and we turned out ok".

What's the difference?

:)

We try to eat / live the same way and I don't get this response, either. Honestly, sometimes I feel like it's just ignorance and laziness talking. Some people can't be bothered to change. Once I learned about all of this stuff, it was a no-brainer that we would avoid taking certain poisons into our bodies - my goodness, if you had the chance to live better and improve your kids' chances at wellness, why the heck wouldn't you?

The "fine" word drives me bonkers. Seriously? 1 out of 3 Americans is overweight or obese and that's fine? Learning and behavioral disorders are rampant, infertility affects 10% of Americans, and cancer is one of our #1 killers - and most of the time, it's preventable! Fine? I don't think so.

Also - and this is big - I think that most people blindly believe what they're "sold". If it's in stores, it was approved by the USDA/FDA and should be "fine, right? They maybe aren't aware of the extent to which these agencies do not regulate...or that there are conflicts of interest with the agencies and the people trying to sell us things that can keep us unwell. I know...it's a shock!...but it's the truth and WE are our only advocates. I'm personally not satisfied with "fine"...not anymore!

PS: Tradition and routine are big parts of people's eating/living choices, too. My sister worked as a nurse on a post-op cardiac care unit. After awhile, she requested a transfer bc it was so maddening to her that people who just came out of a life-threatening condition would take one look at their "new diet" sheets and say "I'm not giving up steak! I've been eating it for 30 years and I'm not stopping now!" It's just amazing the things some are willing to die for.

I think that parents are universally going to be defensive when presented with an idea that is contrary to what they are doing and the new idea is presented as the "more healthy and safe route." We all have to make the choices that are best for our kids, and we all have to prioritize. Heck, it would be safest to never drive anywhere over 5mph, but we compromise that safety for efficiency. No one is going to argue that 5mph is not in fact safer (this is just an example, I know that driving too slow on the interstate, for example, is a safety haxard), but the reality of our lives is that we have to decide that driving 30, 50, 70mph is an acceptable risk. Driving 120mph becomes an unacceptable risk. I think feeding our kids is similar. Nothing but sugar and Big Macs may be driving drunk at 120mph, some people choose to put the brakes on with some fresh fruits and veggies :)
It sounds like you are saying that you would never drive over, say, 45mph. Other people have to drive 65 to get things done, and they justify it by thinking about all of the millions of people who drive 65 every day and are just fine.
I am personally a HUGE proponent of breastfeeding- I feel guilty that my first had a total of about 2 cans of formula when he was a baby and so excited that baby #2 has been formula free. I will offer any support or advice THAT IS ASKED of me by a mom considering/struggling with breastfeeding. Other than that, I am careful to keep my views to myself, as they are choices I made for my children. Other women have a million reasons why they make different choices and it is not my place to educate them if they don't have questions for me.
The line between education and judging is often defined by unsolicited advice.

Edited:
I deal with this on the flip side. I don't listen to every little claim about what's bad for us because it makes me feel paranoid, like we would should be living in a bubble out in the middle of Montana. I hear, "oh you let your kids eat THAT?" I just ignore the comments.

My philosophy is everything in moderation. My kids get McDonalds, but not very often. My kids can have soda, but only one small cup on pizza night. I let our kids have little fruit cups in their school lunches but only the ones packed in juice, not syrup. I buy organic occasionally but it is too expensive. I spent more for organic bananas last week and they were tasteless, contrary to what I'm always told about organic food tasting so much better.

Good for you for doing what you feel is best for your family. There will always be someone who questions your parenting, whether it be what you feed them, how you discipline, how you handle the dating thing when they are teenagers, etc. That list could be a mile long. Who cares what other people think?!

I have been raising my kids a bit against the grain now for 13 years. They are mostly vegetarian and we just don't eat much processed food and almost no fast food. When my daughter was little there were people who thought we were practically abusive because she'd never been to McDonalds. My husband's co-workers were constantly saying "How can you not buy her Happy Meals? What do you do to reward her or give her a special treat?" My answer to that has always been "How CAN you feed your kids that stuff?"
As years have passed it easier to find people who agree. The truth of what's really in our food is more and more known and people are aware that pink slime and chemical preservatives and additives are harmful to our bodies.
As your kids age it will be harder to control what they eat. My advice is to not be too controling, let them make up their owns minds as they grow and you may find as we have that for the most part they follow how they've been raised.
I am very confident that as time passes Americans will look back and say "what were we thinking?" when it comes to processed foods and the junk that many people consume today. As a society we just aren't quite there yet. You can count yourself as someone who is ahead of the curve and I think your making good choices for your family. Don't preach to people but share what you think if asked and just ignore the negative comments with the knowledge that you're doing the right thing. We are not alone in our thinking, most other Western cultures are disgusted by Amercian eating habits.
In my family we have a saying stemming from a comment from another Mom during a soccer snack break. She was insisting that the "fruit chewy things" she brought were fruit. To this day my kids say those things are not fruit, they are fruit flavored candy! And I for one agree.

ETA: If people don't like my choices in how I feed my family - I don't feel the need to explain it to them. If someone asks WHY I chose to go organic - I would tell them that I chose this path because I didn't like all the preservatives in my food. If they want a fight - i'm not going to give it to them.

ORIGINAL

That's good for you. You have chosen a path that works for you. It won't work for everyone. Thank God we have choices still!!

Not EVERYONE eats this way. You don't. That's YOUR CHOICE. Why are you getting worked up over this? You can't force people to make the same choices as you do.

Can you imagine - when I was a kid? My mom put me in a laundry basket when she was driving! NO CAR SEAT!! And I survived. Okay - so there weren't as many cars on the road then either.

We now have 6" to 10" of padding in our playgrounds so that our kids don't get hurt. Do I think that's a good thing? Yeah. But how are they going to learn if they don't get hurt doing something sometimes?

Do I believe in global warming? Nope.
Do I believe in preservatives for food? No. But with demand for "fast food" - that's the way it is done to keep food fresh. You have made a conscience decision to NOT eat this way. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Do I believe in BPA? It's there. But I believe in moderation.
Do my kids get McDonald's every day? No. But they do eat there. That's MY choice.

Everyone has different thoughts and opinions on what you are doing. If it works for you - great!! if not - don't belittle those who don't.

Because in a year the media/science/docs will be focused on some other item that is "bad" for you and they will have decided that the bottles and everything else they said was bad for you is no longer bad. It is absolutely a fad. You will see. Eating healthy is not horrible but making a war out of it and not allowing your child to interact within the social group to keep them away from "unhealthy" things is considered to be OCD or OCPD and a mental illness. Such as a germophobe. The fear that they will be exposed to germs to the point the child is living in a sterile environment and not being able to develop a normal immune system, that would be considered to be abnormal.

Not allowing a child to go to Chuck E. Cheeses for a birthday party because the food is unhealthy, abnormal, not allowing a child to go to McDonalds for a birthday party, abnormal. There are limits and boundaries that social interaction should be allowed.

So, you can feed your child what you want at home, but when he goes out in the big bad world he is going to drink from plastic bottles, faucets that other people have shared, perhaps even something that didn't even get washed well enough. He will also be looked at and ridiculed for your actions. The other kids do not live like this, therefore he is odd and that makes him a subject that is easy to pick on.

I do not think that you have the wrong idea about making things safer and more healthy for your child. I think perhaps the extreme that you are talking about here. Do you actually think that when he goes off to school they are going to have non plastic toys or that they will have bought organic toys? They will not.

I haven't had to deal with this, but seriously, just because you survived something doesn't mean it's the safest or best thing to do. Try not to take it personally, cause it's really not personal.

nothing is the norm. i bet you, if you asked everyone in this country would they go all organic if they could, the answer would be yes. but i have to tell you buying 'organic' fish for the 4 of us and paying 40 bucks for fish barely enough for a meal is what makes me cringe. i can't afford it. we try to eat organic fruit and vegetables, and milk but not much more.
the thing is you will get such responses if you are the one going around saying why don't you go all natural ad organic? the answer is, because most people can't afford it, so they resort to the old 'well i was raised this way and i didn't die.' which is a normal response by the way.
what we do at home, and how we raise our kids, and what we feed our kids is our decision but i don't have the right or heart to go to my struggling neighbor and point out all the 'bad' things her children are eating, unless i can afford to provide the same for them, which i can't.
'unhealthy and overweight' is mostly due to lack of exercise, and i don't mean for those 'pay for exercises.' i am talking about running free (like we used to when we were little) for hours in a day, when we didn't have the little gadgets to keep us stuck at home for hours at the time.
i also want to bring up a recent conversation between my husband and i. someone he knew died recently and my husband was shocked to hear because this was a gyu who spent his life eating healthy, not drinking, smoking, exercising regularly, yet died in his 40s. you never know when your number is up.

... all this is about is that you raise your child the way you want.
It is your choice and your freedom to do so, as you are doing the best that you want to or can, for your child and/or family. So feel good about that.
THAT is enough... of a reason. And so what what others tell you or say to you. It does not matter, they are not in your house. So when/if others chide you for your choices in food or objects that you bring into your home, so be it. They don't live with you, so hooray for you!
Just ignore them.
If they call you an organic Mom, so what?

Don't worry.
You are doing the best that you can and choose to.
All of us Moms, no matter what our culture or regions or beliefs, we try too.
But personally, I don't think you are "crazy" for trying.
So be it.
And feel secure in yourself, and be like a Teflon pan... and let any Negative Nellies... slip off your mind. Don't let them irk you.
But some days they will irk you, and so be it.
Everyday, is a challenge as a Mom.

I think I'd raise an eyebrow overly dramatically and say "well, YOU think you turned out ok..." and smile and then say "seriously, there are a lot of health issues in this country nowadays so I figure better safe than sorry." And then leave it at that.

I try to balance my own experience with current literature and knowledge.
Personally there are things where I weigh it and keep doing what I'm doing, but there are other times where my mind is changed. Like extended rear facing or extended nursing. Some people still give me a hard time about DD's being RF, but DD is fine and I'm much more comfortable with that choice. How do I deal with it? I say that I've read that she's safer and I prefer to keep her RF to the limit her seat allows. Just a statement, not an argument.

I don't find myself in that position because I'm old school and we do believe that it doesn't hurt a kid to eat dirt. We subscribe to the theory "God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt!"

Someone said something like that to me last week and without thinking I blurted out, "Oh, so that's what happened to you." Thankfully, everyone laughed, including the man I talked back to.

I determined long ago that it isn't my burden to convince anyone else how to live. I used to think I had to out of some sort of public service. LOL Now, we just live our lives. I do hear stupid comments like you mentioned. I answer in a variety of ways, depending on the situation. 1. If it is an older person, I will suggest that things are worse now: more vaccines for children, GMO food, Monsanto, we didn't even have a microwave when I was a kid! cell phones, etc. 2. If it is a younger person, I might just smile and say nothing. Or, I might say that I used to think that way, too, but decided to research it more. I let them know if they want more info, just ask, and I will help them research for themselves. I had a friend once tell me that birth control pills were abortifacient. I did not at all believe her. She could have argued with me. Instead, she mildly suggested that I should look it up. I did and was shocked with what I found. I thanked her for letting me know. I asked my doctor about it, too. I told him that patients have a right to informed consent. He didn't believe it either, so I dropped off what I had found in my research for him to look over. He said he still wouldn't have believed it except for the fact that the doctor in the research happened to be a good friend of his! He was so upset that he, as a doctor, had never been taught this! But, they aren't taught a lot of important things. They are fire-hosed with information, and it is nearly impossible to know everything about every drug. Anyway, remember that your family is your responsibility, and let the rest just roll off your back. If they sincerely want to know more, then give them more. Otherwise, don't waste your breath or your brain cells worrying about it all.

We are in the same boat! In fact we have hosted playdates where kids have brought snacks that I would never give my kids!!! I don't say anything to them about their choices and I wish they would not say anything to me about mine!! I usually just say "huh". As if that is interesting but I'm not interested!! I have been a vegetarian for years and have never pushed my beliefs on anyone. However when we are eating out with family/friends/aquaintances they find the need to bring the topic up and defend their meat eating!! I guess it is just human nature. You are not alone in feeding your kids that way. Give yourself credit, it is not always easy:) My girlfriend has a great line: "thats interesting, you MIGHT be right!"

Nickie

i think most people (MOST) are respectful of your views if you are respectful of theirs. if they're not then #1, they're not your friends. if it's just casual comments from strangers or acquaintances then who cares? if it's family, then they probably feel the way they raised you is being judged and found lacking and yes, that can be offensive. bottom line, you raise your child your way, and let others raise theirs, theirs, and if it comes up, you say respectfully, "we just feel that this is right for US. we know it's not for everyone." being catty or holier than thou (not saying you are, but some of the advice you've been given certainly is) is never the right thing to do.

ETA what someone said about HEALTHY (organic, etc) foods being expensive - they ARE. and it is literally learning to live an entire new life, being "healthy", for many people. some people don't know any different and i'm sorry but changing everything about your life and doing things completely differently than how you were raised can be very intimidating. so it's expensive, foreign, and intimidating. that is why many don't do it. but all of us do the best we can. i had no idea how little i knew until my job provided us a health coach. some people never get that opportunity. if i had never been shown what small steps (and then bigger and bigger steps) i could take, dipping my toes in, so to speak, and seeing how it's really not all that hard or scary, i probably never would have tried.

bottom line, don't judge them and then you're covered. if they judge you then that's on them, not you. let it go.

I would answer and have answered, "Well times change and with all the issues surrounding our children, I'm just trying to give him the best chance I can to be healthy." I'm not into organic, vegan, etc. however I do eat healthy, exercise, and limit candy, fast food, etc for not only myself but my children as well. Some people think it's crazy, but I think it's smart parenting. You do what's right for you and your family, and others will do what they want for theirs. "Norm" there is no such thing in this day and age!

I totally agree with you. I L. when people say "I was raised on X and I'm perfectly healthy!" and it's like...no you're not. I have a friend who says this all the time and I try not to laugh because she is so not anywhere near the picture of health. Neither am I, but I don't claim what she does.

Anyway...my response to anyone who actually engages me over my decisions is "I believe that you do what you know and when you know better, you do better" and leave it at that. And then I focus on the like-minded parents I know.

A woman in my town just wrote a book called Little Changes, which is about all the choices we can make every day that will be healthier for ourselves, our kids, and the environment. I am lucky to be plugged into a widening circle of local parents who feel the way I do about things. Who don't think it's wacky to question vaccines, or try natural remedies and whole food supplements to try to help our bodies and minds heal themselves. Who garden at home or belong to the CSA and frequent the farmers' markets. Who use non-toxic cleaning products and carry tote bags into the grocery store. Who breastfed if possible and made baby food at home or cloth diapered. Who are concerned about lead, mercury, fluoride, preservatives, artificial colors, toxins in our skin care products, plastics, and GMO foods. Who use booster seats until their kids are 80 lbs and go rear-facing until they're 2 or 3. Who look around at all of the ADHD, Autism, Allergies and Asthma and think "my God our kids are the canaries in the coal mine and something is majorly, systemically wrong with our environment and health care."

Just know that in time, if you're not sanctimonious or pushy, if you just live your life with a thirst for knowledge and quiet conviction, people who doubt you may later find their way to you. When conventional medicine doesn't seem to have the answer, when something in the news catches their attention, etc. your friends and family might turn think "you know who might have heard about this...?" and think of you. And then you have the opportunity to gently share what you know. Recommend a book or a website. Point them in the right direction and when ready, they may join you on whatever part of your journey is valuable to them.

One of the funniest examples of this is my parents. My mother is an RN and trained and worked in traditional medicine but she has been into "alternative" medicine for 30 years. She's about 10 years ahead of the mainstream when it comes to natural medicine. My father thought she was full of it and would never listen to her or take her advice. Then 5 or 10 years after she recommended something (like vitamin E and fish oil and niacin for cholesterol control and heart health), one of his doctors would recommend it and he'd embrace it like it's cutting edge news. Somehow he became a fan of Dr. Mercola, who is pretty edgy, and my dad thinks he is the be all end all and my mom is just sitting back biting her tongue trying to not say "I told you so." It's really funny to talk to my dad now and have him go on and on about the inflammatory effects of many grains, insulin resistance and the roles they play in heart health.

So again, just stick to something simple (you do what you know and when you know better, you do better works really well for me) and change the subject.

To those who say, "I ate that when I was a kid and I'm healthy" or "my kid eats that all the time and he's fine" you could just say, "Oh, that's good" and move on to another topic. That's what I do. :)

That annoys me. I try not to engage when people feel the need to bestow this judgment on me. When they insist, I usually say something like, "Your survival of it doesn't make it good or necessary. People survive having their teeth knocked out, but I'm not putting my baby on the front line for that."

I never felt the need to explain any of my parenting choices to other people. The truth is that every one parents differently and chooses to do what they think is best for their child. And when someone chooses to do something differently than they do, some people automatically feel criticized and feel like they have to say things like... "Well, it when I was a kid that's how it was and I'm just fine."

I think it's an antiquated way of thinking. The times and the world has changed DRASTICALLY since we were kids. There's so much more education and information about how to parent better, how to eat in a more healthy way, the hazardous material that we can protect our kids from and on and on...

Get used to it if you are an informed and conscientious parent. My response to people who say this to me would be... " Times have changed, and this is what I feel is best for my kid... maybe it's not right for everyone, but it's the right choice for us."

Smile and nod and know you're right

I live with one of those.
I ate prepackaged whatehaveyous and I turned out ok.
What's a twinkie here and there. EWWWWW!!!!!

My defense is education. :o) My kids alll read labels and if they can't pronounce it we think twice before we put it on our mouths. All Little Debbies are Daddy's, although it's OK to once on a while to eat Goldfish crackers. Plus one daughter is allergic to many of the preservatives.

Alas he still thinks Twinkies are ok.

I just say I believe I'm making the best choices for my family, and I don't expect everyone to believe the same. If someone keeps pressing, I tell them I've said my part and leave it at that.

I feel confident and comfortable with my choices. If someone else wants to mock, marginalize, condescendingly question, or be rude about it...it's not a conversation I'm going to have. He's MY son, and I don't have to defend choices that are doing no harm. Period.

hehe! I think I am labeled with, "she doesn't eat that" because often during work parties, I won't eat certain foods and won't eat certain people's cooking.

One co-worker will bring in a meat dish and leave it on her desk until lunch and say it is fine, while I would refrigerate a hot dog and it is loaded with preservatives. All food has to be refrigerated.

Anyway, I guess the way I deal with them is I could care less what they think of me and they know it by now.

I just look for a neutral response, something like "Oh, I hear that you don't think this is anything to be cautious about. Thanks for the opinion!" If I say this in a calm, friendly tone, people will generally feel heard and stop bugging me. If they bring it up again, I'll repeat pretty much the same message, and then add, "I'd rather be safe than sorry," since they seem to be into cliches.

I'm with ReverendRuby. When I grew up McDonalds wasn't around. The only way you got a hamburger was to make it yourself. When my kids grew up in the 70s there were a few McDonalds but we were stationed in another country and there were no fast food places. The foods had real sugar not corn syrup and high fruitose and were genetically modified.

My parents and relatives all had backyard gardens with corn, green beans, peas, cucumbers, and tomatoes. Ah the taste of a vine ripened tomato. Anyway I now grow vegies again and visit the farmer's market in the summer and freeze many vegies for the winter. Oh the cucumbers become pickles which hubby eats before I can hide them.

Fast forward with convenience because moms worked we got into the fast food craze. No one cooks anymore. I read what is in the packages for the crockpot that you get from the store and there are so many preservatives that it is not worth buying it. Get the meat and put your own vegies in it and cook. We are in an instant right now society and not thinking about the long term consequences which are showing up now.

Do what you are doing and know you are doing the best you can for your family. I still cook for my hubby and me. The kids have grown and moved and they cook meals. They are calling "Mom, how do you make x?" and they go off and make it sometimes better than I.

Happy healthy eating to your family.

The other S.

I think I do pretty much all the same things you do (avoid plastic, buy organic, etc). I don't really talk about it ever...actually, I just never do....around others. I just have other things I'd rather talk about with my mom friends. Besides if you bring this kind of thing up then if they are not doing this (buying organic, etc) it only serves to make them feel bad or guilty. So, I can honestly say I have never had someone say this to me. I do have a friend who is always always always talking about this kind of thing. Every single facebook post she puts up is about the evils of the food industry, the benefits of buying organic, breastfeeding is best, the cancer causing agents in cleaning products, etc. And while I totally agree with her (100%!) I find her posts to be SO ANNOYING over time! It's all she talks about! I had to hide her. One time when she put up a post on how bad juice is for your kids I posted back how we were raised drinking KoolAid every day...a pitcher or two a day! (And we turned out fine). Now I agree with her about not drinking too much sugary drinks, but sometimes I just can't take it anymore. Maybe that is how some people are feeling about you. I will say I still adore my friend and think she is a great person... :)

I say, yes you survived but other people didn't. You can look up statistics for children killed in automobile accidents (due to inadequate restraint standards), or children killed because of not wearing helmets, or what the expectancy for life was back then.

If I think they are open to be educated, I will give them info. If not, ignore them and keep doing what you know is right.

I don't ever find myself in that situation and didn't when my kids were growing up. But I do think it's good to try to eat right, exercise, and take care of our body. On the other hand I don't think half of these things were in products and food when I grew up. So there is more to watch for now that they added some I guess. I think part of the issue is lack of exercise in kids today as far as the overweight issue. Not so much the food but they do nothing. We played outside all summer, on evenings after school got out and all weekend except for being at church. We climbed, ran, etc, etc. I think that helped people live longer too. It's a whole big picture and many issues and I would just ignore comments like that and do what you feel is best for your family. I did.

I just respond that thankfully we know a little better now. We also know of different medications, vaccines, treatments that weren't available back in the day (some even when I was a kid...I'm in my 30's). If they didn't have them back then does it mean they won't partake in something that could make them better knowing what we know now? Just smile and say thanks. Don't take it to heart. Someone responded they used drop side cribs and bumpers. That's fine and it worked for them, but we now have a lot of evidence to show it can cause death in our infants. Why risk that? Things have obviously evolved and that's not a bad thing. If you make decisions for your family, as the mom, own it. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

"I'll take that into consideration." That's my go-to response whenever I received unsollicited "advice". I've, honestly, never had it not shut someone right up...including myself.

Hi M. L,
Perhaps some people aren't responding to the choices that you've made, but how they've become aware of these choices. My sister is a vegetarian and almost completely vegan (for ethical reasons more than health) and rarely encounters people who challenge her choices. I think that a lot of that has to do with the fact that she leads her own life and does not feel the need to teach others about the perils/error of their ways, but is always happy to share recipes or websites for alternative products (leather free shoes, etc.) with anyone who asks. Someone else I know has eaten poorly and been obese for most of her life and only recently became vegetarian. She now spends a significant amount of her time sending daily e-mails and posting links on FB about the "evils" of the non-vegetarian/non-organic world, pointing out the dangers of what people are eating in front of her etc. Many people are iritated by what they perceive as her constant lecturing and feel compelled to challenge her beliefs as a way of providing balance to the situation. Although I think that she is just excited to share what she has recently learned, those in her vicinity often feel judged. I agree with you that you shouldn't have to defend your choices, especially b/c they don't hurt anyone else and are made with the best of intentions. I simply suggest that some of the flack that you get may not actually directed at your choices, but they way that they're presented. (For example, I wish that prevention of food allergies was something as simple as avoiding the potential allergen until a certain age....I would probably react negatively if I and a loved one with food allergies shared a meal you, during which time you commented that it had been in my power to prevent an allergy by doing ....). I think most health problems are the result of a lot of different factors and applaud all who are trying to achieve short and long-term good health in whatever way that they can. I would never judge someone who uses a BPA containing lunchbox just as I would hope that they don't judge me for lack of exercise, having used disposable diapers, etc.

i agree.......we are a health conscious family and get this all the time.

The best response is "well i just want the best for my family, nothing wrong with that"

Mental note to self, "They are probably not fine - liar, liar, pants on fire."

Comment to rude individual with intrusive comment that should learn to be quiet, IF I would even say anything at all, "Good luck with that." or "To each his own."

I smile sweetly and say " are you sure about that? lol" Then I say, I am glad that it worked for you. Unfortunately that doesn't work for me but I respect you and agree to disagree.