Major Childcare Conundrum-- Please Help and Advise

If you are just wanting what is cost effective, then having someone in part time to watch both children would probably be the best solution. You didn't say how much it is costing you to send your daughter across the street, but if you are going to need someone to watch your infant for 12 hours a week, it seems like they would be able to watch your 3 y.o. as well for an additional fee. I guess it would depend on how much you want to pay a nanny vs. how much it costs to send the 3 y.o. out.
I'm not sure what it is you do part time, but it might just be more cost effective to stop. Or work at night when your husband comes home.
My kids are 18 mo. apart, so I understand that you feel "stretched". I honestly can't remember the last time I had a full night sleep, a real nap, or time to myself.
Please remember that your 3 y.o. is being 3. She will regress with the potty, not only because of a new brother, but because that's what a lot of 3 y.o. do. And I wouldn't worry about stimulating time spent with her. Just do the best you can. She will be fine. I remember feeling all crazed about spending time with my kids but really, they only remember things that were fun. Not the times that I sat down in front of a cartoon with my 2 y.o. and infant. And dozed.
Good luck!

I have my daughter in a preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9am-2pm and Wednesdays from 9am to noon. My son attends the same school for parents day out on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I have time on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9-2 to myself. I also worked part time last year on this schedule and it worked out great. I didn't get all of my hours in during this time, but I got enough that I was able to work the rest in during naps and such.

I think your best bet is to find a preschool for your daughter with a program that your baby could attend as well or find some other form of childcare for them to be together. The logistics of having them in two different places seems like it might not be worth the effort, but maybe if it was in the neighborhood, it might be okay. I hope you find something that works for your schedule! Good luck.

Hi A.-

Perhaps you already discussed this with your childcare provider but since she's not accepting any more part time children I assume she already has a few that are parttime. Is your schedule flexible enough that you could take your two children at the opposite times of the other parttime children so that it works more favorably for your childcare provider and gives you the 12-15 hours you need per week to work?

Good luck,
K.

As a home childcare provider myself I would suggest to look for another daycare.There are so many inhome daycare options out there and you can usually get a discount for 2 kids.Now it might not be across the street, but close by.
Kids adjust well at this age, make friends fast (if you find the right fit). You say you're not rolling in $$$ but I do not see how part time nanny be cheaper than inhome childcare. My youngest is also 3 and does behave bad when he is bored. You might want to try a baby carrier for your son, this way he can be carred for and you can do activities with your daughter.
my 2 cents:)

I just found a great drop in daycare center which may also work for you. Cubes and Crayons, here in Mountain View, rents out office space (if needed in addition to daycare services). All of the caregivers are very nice, the facility is clean and you get lots of extras like Date Night Once a Month, weekly drop-in play times, yoga for kids, messy art hour and science exploration time. You can do all scheduling online and take your child in for an hour or 8. Best of all, it's reasonably priced.

If we had the space at our place, I would consider an au pair for my two. It would be great to have some extra help so both kids get lots of individual attention and I love the idea of exposing them to a foreign language in the home. Au pairs get room and board, so I don't think you have to pay them too much. As for your daughter's friends, you could always arrange for some play dates.

Hello,

I completely empathize with you. I have two of my own who are 2 years apart 3.5 and 1.5 now.
I would say you can send her to a fulltime Day care for a few months while you deal with the wee one and then figure out what you can do about working part time. That will give your older child enough attention and she will not feel left out and you will not feel like you are doing injustice to her.
After a while when you have more time and less stress you can run numbers to see if quitting work for sometime might make more financial sense for your family. I finally did quit myself.

Hope this helps.