Lost My Drive

You said you met your final goal last year. Maybe you need another one - or a couple of little ones. Living life without goals is like running a race without a finish line. Sounds to me like you are in transistion. Maybe its a good time to just quieten and listen. Remember how as kids we lay on our stomachs across the swing and then twist it tighter and tighter, then let go for a spin ride? You've been riding but now the swing has spun as far in that direction as it can go. For a second you are suspended in space until the swing starts to slowly (then faster) spin in the other direction. Ive been were you are before. Its uncomfortable unless you change your attitude about it. Maybe you could spend this time gently getting attuned to what you next would like to do in life. Don't force it; it will come to you better if you just patiently listen. Write a list of all things you like (cinnamon toast, candles, polkadots, purple, nice cars, whatever). Then if you are up to it, write a list of all things you don't like. Every year since I first felt what you are feeling, I picked two rather useless goals and gave myself the year to get them done. They were things like learn how to dance the Tango (because of that great scene in Scent of a Woman), learn how to lipread so I could evesdrop at restaurants (I'm bad), attend dog training classes, learn about wines (so I wasn't ignorant at nice dinners), learn how to airbrush or make a vegetable garden, etc. Its fun and the years pile up and before you know it, you have lots of useless skills and conversation starters. So what!? Life can end in a second. What would you like on your deathbed to not regret not having done? You've done some big important things already. What about the little things? How good are you at sitting all day on the porch with an old lady listening to the birds and watching the cars go by? There actually is a lot to be said for that - and it isn't as easy as you might think to make yourself slow down for a minute and enjoy. Learn how to smell the roses. If you hate your job, find something you like, maybe even start your own company. That only costs $9.50. Don't worry. Change is inevitable.

I went thru a similar period about 10 years ago. I thought I had narcolepsy (sp?) because I was always sleepy and would just fall asleep at my desk. I lost my love for my friends, family, work, etc. Usually a very upbeat goal driven person, it was like one day, a switch turned off and all my energy was gone. I went to the doctor, again thinking I had a sleeping disorder, described my symptoms to her and she immediately put me on an anti-depressant and it was like the light got switched right back on again. A lot of people think depression is something you can control but it's hormonal. It's a chemical imbalance in your system that sometimes is brought on by changes in your circumstances. Things as simple as changing or losing a job, moving, losing a loved one, having a baby, taking on new responsibilities, or in your case, finishing a long line of goals and transitioning into a new period in your life. Obviously, this may not be what's happening to you, but I thought I would throw that out there as a possibility. I was shocked when my doctor even suggested that was the issue for me. Fortunately, depending on how you look at it, she was right and I turned back into the old happy, energetic me as soon as I got treatment. Good luck. I know how you feel and it's not a great place to be. :-/

Have you had your thyroid checked? Low thyroid function can contribute to the funk you're in as well as make it difficult to conceive. Ask your doctor to check your TSH, Free T3 and Free T4. You want your TSH <3.0 (many labs still use old numbers) and your Free T3 and Free T4 should be well within range (i.e., higher is usually better). You mention unresolved health issues and low thyroid function can contribute to alot of health issues.

I never thought I was a person who was "depressed." But after fighting similar feelings for some time I saught the care of a qualified mental health professional (therapist/ psychologist) and my life turned the corner.

Don't wait for your feelings to worsen. If you had a caugh for three months would you see a dr. or would you write mamasource.

Go get yourself a good talk therapist! Your family DR. can recommend one!

Good luck. Get happy!

That happened to me as well right around the time I turned 30. By then, I had a great job, married with 2 beautiful girls. I had all these goals growing up and had accomplished all of them, including buying a home by the time I was 30 (I moved into my first own home at age 28 1/2). I felt I had done everything in life until someone told me that I had so much more left to do.
I agree with the previous poster who stated you need to set new goals. Whether it be big or small, you still need to have something to look forward to every day. You mentioned having a son, perhaps you make it a goal to teach him to read or ride a bike, etc. Or figure out something that you feel would give you a sense of fulfillment or achievement and set out to do it.
Good luck!

I have been in that place. Sounds like you have spant all your time striving for goals and taking care of your family. And now your where you thought you wanted to be and run out of steam. Me and my husband finally settled three years ago with two kids, jobs and all that comes with. We loved each other but didnt realy connect any more, the only thing we talked about were the kids and money. I was bored and a little depressed. We started to fight alot more and things were not going well. I started working out and focusing a bit more on me which sparked a bit of jelousy and interest in him. We took a road trip to visit family, fought all the way there, both of us have changed over the years and the things we enjoyed then are not what we want now. We learned new things about each other and realized we are not as dependant on one another as we once were. I came home from the trip pregnant. our relationship is stronger if not better. We still have our goals for our family but we also have individual lives that we need to keep us sane. My advice to you is find an interest outside family and work, something for you to enjoy and that challenges your mind. Find out whats changed in your marriage and visit the idea that its ok to change things up. Going through the same routine for ten years can get boring even with kids.