Looking for Tutoring/education Help for My Kindergartner

Hi K., have you heard of "My baby can read?" If you don't have a lot of money to spend on tutoring him all summer and you have some time you should look into this. I was thinking of getting it for my 3yr old myself. I've heard really good things about it. Also, what I do with my two girls (3yr and 5yr)is at night instead of reading books all the time, I change it up with flash cards. You can get a bunch at the dollar store. Right now I'm teaching my 3yr old animal card with the name of the animal on it. I point to each letter and she repeats it after me then we say the word together. She is getting so good and recognizes almost all her letters. Either way you go, I think it's a good idea to do this anyway just for extra support to them. Good Luck!

Mommy of two girls

Hi K.,

I have worked from home and educated both of my boys from infancy. My oldest is in high school, the youngest is in 5th grade (and has had severe dyslexia, scotopic sensitivity and central processing disorder...he was more diffcult to teach!); between the two of them, I have had experience with a variety of modalities, approaches and materials that have helped one or both at various stages in their development.

Once you figure out the individual's learning style and their interests, it is then much easier to devise ways--perhaps combinations--to facilitate learning. I have invested a great deal of time and energy to figure out what will help the most for my boys and am always happy to assist others. Interesting, many of my close friends are educators in various fields. You are welcome to contact me if you like. Either way, good luck to you both!

C.

K.,

My stepson was in the same situation when he was in kindergarden. He was in tears every night worried about going to 1st grade. We ended up holding him back and are very glad we did. He is much more comfortable where he is at now. He is also at the same maturity level of his class now. Now is the time to do it. There will be more reprecussions if he is held back later.

As a high school teacher, I would recommend holding him back. I'm not sure why you wouldn't want him in half-day kindergarten but I would make it work. Another year of maturity will help him. Your son is young and by the time he gets to high school, the younger boys are usually the ones that have self-esteem problems (size, physical maturity, athletic ability, etc.). I also think now is the time for your son to enjoy exploring the world and being a kid, not be put with a tutor and stress academics.

Greetings,
I am a teacher and myself and my friend, Michelle, who is also a teacher, offer tutoring. Where are you located, though? We are in the Sedona area.
Thanks,
D.

My advice is probably contrary to what you're asking for, but I strongly recommend following the advice of the teaching professional (the Kindergarten teacher who has observed him all year) and hold him back. Sounds like he's young anyway, and being young will continue to plague him throughout his life, even into college, and then job interviews when he graduates. In Jr High and High School, he will be younger and therefore less mature to deal with all the challenges and peer pressures kids encounter. (drugs, sex, social situations, etc.)

Academically, everything is measured by grade, not by age, so being young is adding an extra challenge for him to compete. You don't want his self-esteem to be affected because he feels like he's behind his peers. They do notice these things more than we know.

My sixth grader turned 6 years in August of his Kindergarten year, and we've NEVER regretted it once. We talked with dozens of educators, and they ALL recommended holding him. He's always been an honors student, but we'd rather work to keep him challenged, than be scraping to have him keep up and trying to repair his self-esteem in the process. My other son has a March birthday and I notice that's it's harder for him.

The other thing about boys is the "playground" thing where you never want your child to be the one that other kids think is weak. Another year will give him more size and more maturity. The schools do a great job, but it's just an inherent social thing with boys to compete, and it gets more intense with age. And, the girls are sooo much more mature than boys, so it's good to have more maturity for social situations starting in 4th grade, Jr and Sr High.

With all-day K next year, I'm told it will still be offered, but at a cost. But apparently it's a reasonable cost comparatively, and I think it'd be a good investment for his future.

I offer this advice from my heart and from my love of kids and seeing them be happy and succeed. Good luck!

I taught kinder for 3 years before I had my first son. Retaining a child in kinder is not as bad as it sounds. It's better to retain at this age then to have to do it later on when he (and his friends) will understand what that means. I can't tell you what to do either way without knowing your son or personally seeing what his difficulties are, but I can tell you that if he just turned 5, I'm not a big fan of starting kids too early if the maturity level isn't there. I also agree with you on the half day kindergarten not being a good idea! It's so sad how little education is valued these days! In my opinion half day kinder is kind of a waste of time! I think your idea of getting a tutor or summer school is a good idea. If you live in the Sierra Vista area, I would be willing to meet with you and see what we could work out. I still have all my materials from when I taught and would love to do that again! Right now I'm tutoring an older child, but I won't be doing that during the summer. If not ask your child's teacher to see if there's anyone he/she can recommend. Depending on where you live they may not have summer school for kinder. If you live in a bigger city you can also look into Sylvan Learning Centers. A friend of mine used to work for them in Phx. and she really liked it. She said they have great programs for the kids. Well I've rambled on enough. The bottom line is, you know your child best and you have to do what you think will work best for him. I hope that some of the things I've said above will help you decided the best course of action. If you have any other questions let me know.

K.,

Many of my friends have been faced with the same suggestion from kindergarten teachers. All of them thought the teacher was wrong and worried about the other kids making fun of the child held back. I can tell you this is common and none of the kids were made fun of. I am still friends with 3 of them and their moms. The kids are all in high school now and all 3 of them are excelling. Don't be afraid to hold your son back. He will be a leader in his new class and will continue in that role throughout his school career.

Although I agree that holding him back may be best, you might check out Wilkins Learning Center. It's run by Sharon Wilkins and her 2 daughters and they are loving, caring and just amazing with kids. My 2 go to pre-school there and they do tutoring for all ages. They used to teach at Edu-Prize.

That said, my boy has a July birthday and I already know we will hold him back from K until he's 6. He's only 3 now and is on target and bright, but he's immature and is (and will be)physically a little guy. With your boy not having gone to pre-school, another year of K sounds like a good idea. Some school districts will still offer full-day K, but will charge for it. Maybe that's an option for you? Usually the cost is lower than for a private school.

K.,
As a teacher, I would agree that he should be held back. Many boys are just not ready for kindergarten, and I think you would find that next year he would be able to pick up on the concepts much easier than this year. Pushing children to learn when they are not ready can cause many problems down the road, even lifetime difficulties.

Considering his young age, think also about his size. Socially for boys it is more advantageous to be older, since that generally means he would be taller, bigger, and more coordinated to make the sports teams when he is older. To a boy, that can mean the world!

Don't let the schools changing kindergarten sway your opinion. Do what's best for your son. Also, if you look around, you could probably find one that is keeping the all-day K if that is really important to you. I substitute taught two years ago and was appalled at what I saw in all-day K. It was such a waste of the kids' time, as they usually watched a movie or did useless activities in the PM, after a few who wanted half day K had left!

Best of luck to you and your son.
C. C.

I know this is probably not what you want to hear but.... As a teacher (and mom of fall birthday boys) I would strongly suggest that you hold him back. I have watched it over and over again, that when young children who are struggling (especially boys) do not get held back in K; they have a very difficult time in 4th grade. 4th grade is when all of the rules change academically and socially. Then their stuggles turn to huge issues in 4th and holding them back at that time is extremely detrimental socially. I have even watched young (fall birthday)Kindergarden boys who do fine academically, even exceed academically, all the way through third grade and then crash in 4th. I say this with love and no judgement....Please carefully consider your decision, as it could effect his performance and cofidence years down the road.

personally i think it's way too young to hold a kid back in school. academics are not the priority at this age. every child learns at a different pace and when he's ready, he'll let you know.
first, i'd have his vision tested (even if they did a screening at school) (they're not very accurate) to see if he needs glasses. if that's not an issue...
i'd consider playing catch up (15 minute sessions maybe 3 times a week) over the summer or have a friend/family member to provide some time. there are great 'number' websites that he can have fun while learning his numbers so it won't become a power struggle, my kids like funbrain.com
just to reiterate, i wouldn't want to make summer learning not fun for either of you, so as soon as it's not fun i'd try another time.
check into loveandlogic.com for more school stories/parenting information

I have read the advice you have received to this point and agree with most of it. I taught first grade for a number of years prior to having my little girls and taking some time off to be with them. Retention is easier the lower the grade level. I have experienced both sides of this and some children do struggle more or less based upon the interventions used and at what point in their education those interventions occur. Because I haven't seen your kiddo in action, I can't honestly tell you one way or another what is the best choice for your family or even make a recommendation. You must examine all the options and decide what's best for your family at this point in time. Where-abouts are you located? I am in Chandler (near Chandler Fashion Mall) and am willing to discuss options further, if you choose. I would also be willing to assess and possibly tutor, if you choose that path. I know it's a really tough decision to make, but I am sure you will do what's best for your sweet boy. Please feel free to contact me if you need additional help. Good luck (with lots of hugs)!
Sincerely,
T.

Hi K.,
I'm an OT working in schools - 5 years with Kinder-aged kids. In what specific area(s) does the teacher say your son is falling behind?

If it's counting, naming letters, and learning sight-words, you could do all the tutoring yourself, and be very effective. If it's fine motor (writing letters, cutting with scissors, tracing), you can help him too. If it's language and/or behavior, it could be a lot more serious.

In the end, Kindergarten is very intense these days, and lots of children are not developmentally "ready" for the load of expectations. If you really want to put him in 1st grade next year, you have to make sure you prepare him for it in the specific area(s) he's struggling in. This doesn't mean he needs a tutor: you can meet his needs at home or in daycare (if it's a good one), through multiple play activities.

I suggest you get with his teacher to find out what skills he'll need for 1st that he doesn't have, and get ideas for how to "hit" those areas on a daily basis all summer long so he is learning through play as much as possible. Plus, if you can tell us Moms where he needs the help, I *know* you'll get lots of great suggestions! (I just love these mamas :)
t