Kids Birthday Wishes and What You Want?

I am the parent that always asks what size the child wears and buys clothes instead. Boring for the kid maybe but other parents LOVE me (my kids are only 2 and 3 so we have not had to deal with the jealousy over who has what toy amoungst their friends). I will occasionally buy a toy but it is always off the list provided if no list then they get clothes or shoes. I always send a list on the back of invitations specifing a few toys along with their clothing and shoe sizes.

Yes! Then the toys seem to MULTIPLY at night, when ignored, apparently (see my response to your anti-hoarding question!).

I think if people ask what you're kids want or need, it's OK to say "She could really use some socks, shorts, t-shirts, etc." or "I think she'd really enjoy picking out some new books this year" etc.

If they don't ask, I don't offer ideas.

As for the non-returnables, the duplicates, the ignored or unloved, etc......bless someone else! Put them on craigslist (for free) available for FREE!

We have gotten into a pattern with our relatives where they ask what the kids want and are genuinely looking for ideas. They know that we have too many toys and that we like to receive "experiences" instead. Favorite gifts are sporting equipment, music lessons, passes to the movies, and for the older kids, gift cards or $ for clothes and shoes.

My 8 year old is funny, he just likes having money. People will give me $ for him to pick out a gift and he just has me put it in the bank and then goes around telling people how much he has ("I have $463 in my bank account!") or bragging that he *could* pay for something extravagant but then he never wants to actually spend it.

My 14-year-old son knows appx how much his grandparents/great-grandparents/aunts/uncles put towards gifts for him so he maintains a never-ending shopping list in his head. About a month before birthday or holiday time rolls around, I get the "hey if anyone asks what to get for my birthday, there's a cool pair of sneakers that are normally $ but on this website they're only $ and shipping is $ if you use this discount code so if Mimi and auntie C give me $ you can use that money to buy them." I don't know if that's greedy or just practical. As soon as he gets a card with $ in it, we're shopping on-line or at a store within a week. He's not one for delayed gratification.

My 14-year-old SD just shrugs when asked, so DH usually comes up with suggestions for her that involve clothes, music, art supplies or boxing/kickboxing equipment and clothes.

My youngest son is happy to have anything that wasn't already owned by someone else, so we usually end up requesting toys or clothes for him.

I try to give anything but toys for gifts for family and close friends. I try to get creative and usually try to get something useful but fun (snorkel, goggles and flippers for the pool; sleds; movie tickets; art supplies; sporting equipment; personalized backpacks or beach towels, etc.). I don't think it's offensive to suggest things that aren't toys, but if you have someone on your buying list who LOVES to give toys (my mom loves to give dolls, for example) then let them go ahead and give toys if they want to.

Yes, I absolutely wish my kids didn't get so many toys. I have a big family, so when they all come over my son's are getting at least 10 gifts, just from them. When they ask me what my kid wants I try to be creative .... books, movie passes, itunes card, science center passes, water bottles (soccer)...anything that is not a toy. For the most part my kids get about 1/2 and 1/2.
L.

They knew you were going to have a list and it was most likely used to see if anything on your list matched what they wanted to get anyway. In their defense, its no fun giving clothes or educational toys. Most of the time when relatives give presents, its to earn favor, no? Clothes and things to stimulate brain growth just might not cut it in that department!

Well I say a gift comes from the heart so it probably shouldn't be dictated.
As a child w/a sister somewhat close in age, it was great to get duplicate toys so we didn't fight.
I always buy the educational toys myself. I know what I want to teach etc.
You can always give some unwanted or duplicate toys to a friend's child.

When people ask me what my son wants, I tell them what I want him to have!! I don't want toys, so I suggest something else he might like...and never mention the toys. DVDs, Books, clothing (fun clothing, like thomas the train...something he'd be excited about,) etc.

My daughters have way too many toys also. Way, way too many. I am often the one to blame for that, though. They do need clothes this year as they hit a major growth spurt and I would love for everyone to give clothes for their birthday, BUT, they are not old enough to be interested in, or appreciate clothes. If they got a shirt with a favorite character on it, they would love it, but other than that, they would be disappointed if they didnt get some toys. Kids just don't see it the same way we do.

We once asked "Books as gifts please"

I'm paraphrasing....

Personally, I wouldn't make a list or ask for anything. If someone asked me, I would vaguely tell them my child's latest general interests, but not mention specific toys or items. If asked for sizes, I give them. But my kids are older and love clothes now. When they were younger I would not have asked for clothes. Little kids do not love getting clothes for gifts. That kind of gift is more for the parents than the kids, imo. And I think most gift-givers want to see the birthday child get some joy from the excitement of a new toy or something fun for them. I do think clothing with a favorite character is great if you know the kid really loves Tinkerbell or something along those lines. I often purge and throw out a whole bunch of older toys and junk just before birthdays and holidays. At some point, it does become too much stuff for any kid.

I don't think there's a problem if you let people know what you want. I know my family likes to hear if the kids are getting too many toys and ask for clothes. They may give a small toy and then some clothes. You could ask on your list for specific games for learning toys, etc. People want to know that the things they're buying adn giving is going to go to use and be enjoyed. If there's so many toys that they're tossed in a corner no one likes that.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

Yes, I hate the toy build-up... which is why I bag them up and send them off to Goodwill. If they are new gifts, I will return them to the store.

My family knows I'm pretty stingy about toys (they like to pile on the junk, like this year, my mom filled a bag with dollar store stuff that ended up all being thrown away within a day), so they ask what my kids like that year. This year, it's a microscope, museum season pass, leggos...

We usually have big birthday parties and they are so spoiled already and have been since they were born. Every year I specifically send a separate flyer in with the invite that says in lieu of gifts we are making a collection to a specific charity. This last month we did a wish list for Easter Seals and in the past we have done book drives, canned food drives and school supply drives. I did this because I think people feel weird coming empty handed but we don't need any more toys from China!!! In addition it is my hope the kids will eventually "get it" and make this decision on their own. My immediate family didn't respect this at first and now gets them something anyway in addition to the organization we are supporting so the boys still get a lot of presents but most guests have now been on board with this. In the future it will be more tricky but I really really like it and involve them in the process of dropping off the collections and talk with them about what we are doing.

In my experience if I don't say something then they'll get toys. It's one thing when it's school or neighborhood friends but for family you can absolutley request clothes or other items. My kids don't need any more toys either. I told them to get us passes to the community center or even just gift cards and stuff like that. Or itunes cards so we can get them downloads. I even told my MIL that my son wants to play hockey and will need new skates pretty much every year as he grows so she can be the one to get him new skates each year. Friends I just let pass and as they get new "older" toys, I am purging old ones. Going to hold a garage sale and anything that doesn't sell is going to a shelter. I've already told my son and he's ok with it.