Just Got to Thinking...

I hear you.. We try the hone remedies first and then if it does not work or continues for a long time or gets worse.. That is the ONLY time we go to a doctor.

Remember, this site is for new parents who probably do not have friends and family they can ask.. So they are already a little freaked out and when you google a symptom, the worst is what stand out to them..

Hy husband gets a headache once in a blue moon,(1 every 8 to 10 years) so he always thinks he has a brain tumor..

I am with you on this one. I see no need to panic about every little thing. I like to think I am smart enough and level headed enough to assess an actual emergency (or need for advanced medical testing/treatment) and handle it.

Play in the dirt, climb trees, wade in creeks, find shapes in the clouds...be a child....enjoy life...

And it can go the other way too. :) My parents were the same way. I came home telling my dad my arm was broken. His advice? "Rub some dirt on it." Come to find out, I had broken it in two places. Daddy was extra nice to me the entire time I had that cast on my arm. Thirty years later he still feels guilty. :)

Even with my "tragic past", I couldn't agree more. Information is power, but sometimes it also induces fear, anxiety and over analysis. Sometimes, it really is best to "rub some dirt on it" and keep going.

I totally agree with you R.. Media has frenzied everyone into a paranoia state. I hate going to the doctor when I dont feel well and definitely never lugged sick kids to the doc for colds or flu or scrapes or bruises. I think it's pretty much a waste of resources.
Orange juice, chicken soup, jello and gingerale pretty much cured everything in my house for the most part.

Common sense 1st.
Google 2nd!

:)

(and btw, I wonder with all our new information and education whether we are not diluting the human race to the point where, in a few generations, we will no longer be on the top of the food chain, I mean when I run out of REAL things to worry about)

I want to send a flower to everyones answers and your question R....perfectly said :)

Totally agree! I was a young mom first (18) then didnt have my second until I was 30......
I was a nervous wreck! I was never that way when I was 18 and a mom, because there wasnt so much information OVERLOAD. Now on my 3rd baby, I've calmed down again and learned to listen to my mothers instinct as well as common sense!
I believe add,adhd etc are real disorders, BUT sometimes I think lack of parenting can contribute to some cases.NO OFFENSE to any parent of a kid with that disorder, but I feel its over diagnosed. I nannies for a family whos oldest had been diagnosed, and you know what? It was their crutch for everything he did wrong. And there were plenty of times, I caught him full blown lying and he'd admit to it, and say he knew it was wrong when he was doing it, but just felt like it or whatever the case. This kid had his parent wrapped. And he knew it. And when his mom would walk in, his behavior would immediately change to misbehaving. He knew i didnt tolerate it.
Im somewhat of an old school mom myself. My husband and I already talk about how our boys will "hate" us because they wont be staying home from school for a headache, wont have cell phones until they're old to pay for it, and will not live in front of a video game!!!

I am totally with you!!! We raise our kids the same way. When they were small & would fall down, we sat there for a second to see if they were really hurt & going to cry before running over to them screaming for someone to call 9-1-1!

I also miss the days that we didn't have to put a whole "I hope I don't offend anyone" statement after almost everything we wrote!

This is great! I *try* to parent the same way. Sometimes I worry too much, but I realize kids get sick, hurt, etc and I believe it is good for them. They need an immune system and don't need antibiotics for everything. I would rather give their bodies a chance to fight it themselves. We do not take our kids to the doctor every time they get a fever - even a really high one. If it won't come down or lasts many days then sure, but otherwise we treat it at home.

Just like Melissa J. said - when our kids fall (even if it looks painful!) we give them a chance to react before we do. Most of the time they jump back up and play again. If we react badly to it, they do too. They look to us for guidance as to whether or not they should be upset. :)

Just to be fair... I am also the mom that cuts her kids food up extra tiny (smaller pieces than are necessary, I'm sure) and gets terrified whenever the kids travel without me. Also, I read an article about "dry drowning" when my oldest was a baby and now I never sleep well after we have been swimming. ;) I guess I still have a few lessons to learn.

I think your opinion makes a lot of good points. One of the things I miss from when I was growing up. Everyone played outside all day. You were safe. Your parents knew you where somewhere in one of the backyards in the neighborhood. Now kids today are over scheduled and everyone is scared of stranger obduction.

Moms today need to just suck it up and realize the world is messy kids are supposed to be messy it is the fun of being a kid. Honestly I AM old school- are you bleeding then you dont need a bandaid, you feel sick lay down- yes you will go to school unless I feel you are dying
I dont own antibacterial anything- makes kids weaker germs stronger
I had a dad who raised boys- hearty football playing, camping, fishing, hardworking boys which included me- the only girl.
I spend half my life on bench or on a side line and live the phrase- your okay walk it off.
My oldest is allergic to Tobramiacin, my youngest is (honestly) allergic to Sun Screen. These are the only allergies we have and the only things we avoid
I have a sister exactly the opposite- her boys are constantly sick, constantly at the doctor, they have allergies they are sickly and whinny and they make me NUTS.

You are TOTALLY NOT alone on this one.
I feel the same way you do.
I know I'm not a doctor but I see SO many things on this site, and others about putting these lil kids under the knife instead of trying to find other options.
My mother was and Is a wonderful mother. When we got sick, it wasn't "OMG get them to the doctor!!!"
If we did go to doctors it was more homeopathic ones and chiropractors.
We didn't wear helmets on our bikes...
If we got a cut my dad would pour hydrogen peroxide on it and send us on our way.
The only time we ever really went to doctors was for broken bones. And even some of those situations were just handled in our home.
Oh btw my dad WAS a doctor and he still never rushed to conclusions when we were sick. If we were sick, we rested and got Vitamin C and such.
I think as a society we are way WAY to dependent on medications to solve problems.
My kid isn't paying attention in school..oh there is something wrong with him GIVE HIM DRUGS..
Oh My son coughed..he must be sick...
GIVE HIM DRUGS...
haha I don't understand it, and I'm pretty sure I never will understand or agree.
I don't want to sound mean, but there are going to be a lot of wussy adults once the recent generations of kids grow up.

I think Susan touched on something, which is information access. The biggest problem with this is that the people reading all these symptoms, etc. are NOT doctors and don't always understand the intricacies of the body's symptoms. I have a practice of NOT going online to 'understand' anything that I am experiencing until I have a diagnosis from a doctor, because there's so much bad information available, so many horror stories....

I also have seen the trend of late where people 'diagnose' other people, then take it upon themselves to want to educate that person or the parent of that person. Remember when kids used to occasionally flap their hands, and we'd just say "Oh, look, he's trying to be a birdie", now it's 'Oh, do you think he could be autistic?" Sometimes, a little bit of knowledge on a subject is a very bad thing, because people think they know more than they actually do. Consequently, be it health or behavior, a lot of conclusions are jumped to without support.

And my husband is like this about allergies, too. Thought *he* had allergies, thought the Kiddo had these allergies. For years, complaining about his 'allergies' (yeah... mmm hmmm...) Finally went to an allergist to be tested. Acute rhinusitis---NO allergies at all. I love him, but this drives me batty and makes me want to tape his mouth shut at the peditricians!

I suspect that things were much more simple then because mostly because I wasn't the parent. My mom was old-school to the core, but that didn't mean she didn't worry about plenty of things that I never knew about.

I have a saying with my daycare children when they are "hurt". "Are you bleeding or broken?" Otherwise I do the same as others said...brush it off and get back out there!

But I do advocate STRONGLY for my now 16 year old child. She has been overweight since the doctor pulled her from my body. We've seen nutritionists, tried programs, etc, and other than a lack of activity (which frankly hurts due to a minor twisted foot, that was since birth, that only she can decide if it really hurts as its HER body...but I see the swelling and don't just write it off as the fat girl looking to get out of PE), shes healthy.

But we went in once, after she had a SEVERE reaction (yet again) to the sun...only where her clothes were not covering her. And the DR had the nerve to tell me it was something she ate....but could not explain to me why it was not on her whole body then...with a very clear line where her shorts and tshirt were. Now, a few years later and a different set of Dr's, she is officially dignosed with Polymorphous Light Eruption (PLE) Not a killing version like you might see on TV shows, but painful and dangerous nonetheless...basically she is allergic to the sun, gets hives and blisters and can not be in the sun without a parasol and skin covered. But to many doctors, anything wrong with her is something she ate.

So there needs to be a line....we all have to find it!

I agree with S H
a result of information OVERLOAD!
Live simply!

I'm with you, R.! Why does everything have to be diagnosible "condition" or "syndrome" nowadays? Why does the shy, introverted kid have a "disorder", and on the flip side, why does the rambunctious lively kid have a "disorder", too? Can't we just love our kids for the unique people that they are instead of assuming something is wrong with them if they're different from other kids?
And I confess, I let my kids ride their training wheel bicycle and their tricycle WITHOUT a helmet. Somebody call CPS!!

R. - I don't even HAVE bandaids in my house. You skinned your knee? Oh, let me give it a kiss...back outside you go! I do think there are a lot of parents that baby their kids. Especially when they think they got hurt. I am not talking about broken bones, twisted ankles...I'm talking about tripping, falling down. Please mamas...if YOU make a big deal about it then THEY will make a big deal about it.
I am a pretty laid back old school mom. My kids are super healthy...we don't take vitamins either!! My kids have not been to the doctor for anything other than yearly check up for the past 3 years.
I have never had my kids tested for allergies...I just know that when the season changes and my kid is snotting all over himself that he has spring allergies, just like his mother. No need to test.
Some kids are shy, some are unruly (which is often the fault of the parent...see above!), but they are just kids. Diagnoses of something wrong should be the excpetion NOT the norm. I believe that there is ADD, ADHD, and the like...but I don't believe that all the children that have been diagnosed truly have that issue.
L.

Updated

R. - I don't even HAVE bandaids in my house. You skinned your knee? Oh, let me give it a kiss...back outside you go! I do think there are a lot of parents that baby their kids. Especially when they think they got hurt. I am not talking about broken bones, twisted ankles...I'm talking about tripping, falling down. Please mamas...if YOU make a big deal about it then THEY will make a big deal about it.
I am a pretty laid back old school mom. My kids are super healthy...we don't take vitamins either!! My kids have not been to the doctor for anything other than yearly check up for the past 3 years.
I have never had my kids tested for allergies...I just know that when the season changes and my kid is snotting all over himself that he has spring allergies, just like his mother. No need to test.
Some kids are shy, some are unruly (which is often the fault of the parent...see above!), but they are just kids. Diagnoses of something wrong should be the excpetion NOT the norm. I believe that there is ADD, ADHD, and the like...but I don't believe that all the children that have been diagnosed truly have that issue.
L.

Well, I must be an old school parent, of course I also have a BS degree in Respiratory Therapy and I am now a midwife so I don't worry about too many things. I also selectively vaccinate and with my 3rd baby who is 11 months she has never even seen a doctor. All of my children are very healthy. I don't run to the doctor for every little cough and fever. None of us have allergies to anything. I think our country is way too pill happy and they love to see the doctor for everything under the sun.

We have now in our culture and society, MUCH more information... and access to it.
ie: we have the internet and world wide web.
That in itself, creates more and more information out there, for anyone to access. Thus, laypeople, can pretty much, learn about anything and get information for it.
All of this combines, to accelerate our thinking and ability to access information.

This is the Internet Age.

Yes all the sterilizing,removing bacteria with antibiotics,over-immunizing, labeling, over medicating, worrying, is a curse onto itself. Sometimes it just adds extra stress, sometimes it actually CREATES or intensifies the problem in which we are trying to rid ourselves of. Its like paying off a credit card bill with another credit card.

Allergies can very well be a by product of too much caution-sterilization-removal of antibodies and not relying on the immune system to do its job.

sickness is often the result of the treatment for the an earlier sickness, or an overdose of a supposed protection from another sickness.

I know we cant handle everything old school but we can handle many things with the stuff we already have in our kitchen, pantry and fridge.

LMAO!!! I am right there with you! I too am an old school mom. I know that we are more educated today, but we are overloaded to the point that it has made us as parents so stressed and anxiety ridden. It's ridiculous!

You forgot one:

A lot of our parents fed us *GASP* that poisonous formula!

Yet, we managed to live and even have kids and careers of our own. Who knew?!?

I get ya. Coming from a family with serious (life-threatening food allergies) I've been tested for everything under the sun. We've never tested my 22 month old. He very obviously can't handle dairy so he doesn't get much, does well with gluten, and we can't have any nuts in the house.,..so that's taken care of. Even though I have terrible allergies, I'm not paranoid about everything we out in his mouth.

Let me tell you, I've been on the receiving end of some terrible looks. When my son falls and skins something, it's a quick "You're tough, let's keep playing" and these moms think I should be calling 911 or something. I parent like my parent's parented...by not freaking out! It might be a total coincidence, but I have a really laid back and confident kid.

R.,
I notice it most with ADD and ADHD. I think every child I have met seems to have it. I'm sure that my son would be diagnosed with it, but instead I realize that he is 3 and attention spans aren't always there. Yes, there are real cases that need to be treated, but I think that a lot of these diagnoses are ways to excuse our children from being responsible from their actions, or ourselves from teaching them appropriate behavior. Lately, I have even heard of adults my age suddenly getting diagnosed with it.

Totally with you. I can't tell you how many times I roll my eyes or laugh at a post, because I swear the adults are probably raising their kids to be hypochondriacs! lol!
I'm so glad I have a common sense pediatrician also. It really does make things easier. I love our chiropractor also!
Common sense parenting all the way at our house! And not one has ever been tested for any allergies out of 2 adults and 3 kids! (Oh, and a couple had peanut butter early. oops! Well, maybe it was because once I gave it, I kept giving it, so, they got tolerance to it? One will never know!)

I know what you mean. Some parents over react to everything.
It makes me think there are a whole lot of undiagnosed munchausen by proxy people out there.
I don't think it's just a parenting phenomenon.
There seem to be a lot more drama driven people in epidemic proportions.
I think it's being spread by tv/cable, Facebook and the internet in general.
Sometimes I think we'd all be better off if we turned it all off for a few months and lived Amish for awhile.
I don't think we're much more educated now.
There's knowledge out there, but people don't know what to do with it. They believe all kinds of hype without considering the source or motives of who ever is saying it.
I don't see it getting better any time soon.

I just had this discussion with a friend earlier this week! I agree. I never had "allergies" until I moved from Missouri to Georgia as a teenager. I am allergic to pretty much every type of grass, most weeds, horses, dust mites, etc, etc, etc, however, the one thing that has always caused me more sinus problems than all of those combined- tobacco smoke- didn't even register on my allergy test. My sister is allergic to wheat, milk, egss and potatoes. We didn't know until she was 19. She never had an allergic reaction.....and she drank multiple glasses of milk on a daily basis.

I see your point. I've often said, remember when we were little, did you know of any kids who had severe allergies, or severe asthma. Maybe it's because medical science has come a long way and has made us aware of these issues.

I think as parents we all need to find a happy "inbetween". I'm very old school when it comes to some things, but other times I'm running to the doctor.

The media and the internet have turned everybody into over-analytical, anxious nut jobs! Seriously -I get looks from parents sometime because I haven't rushed to have my 5 and 2 year olds tested for everything from autism to hayfever. YES -if there's an issue that points in a certain direction, go ahead and get tests, but a sniffle or a week of "off" behavior from your kid doesn't mean there's some big issue at hand. I lived through a childhood when there was no real help for seasonal allergies. Often I would miss almost 2 weeks of school due to misery and the ensuing sinus infections and bronchitis. I just had to deal with it and take Sudafed! My mom always said she tried to get me in the pool as fast as possible in May, because as soon as I started swimming -the allergies cleared up. That was because the pollen was abating and my sinuses were getting a good cleaning -kind of like a neti pot! Anyway -allergies abated for years and lately have come roaring back. I finally went to an allergist (at 41) and had the tests done -turns out I'm horribly allergic to pecan trees (although not the nut itself). I grew up in a pecan orchard! No wonder I had terrible allergies! It also said I was allergic to dogs and cats (although not nearly so bad) -but I've had both for years with no issues. Anyway -people need to use their own common sense sometime! I'm not getting rid of our pets -because even though I'm supposedly allergic to them, they don't cause me any problems.

My mom also knew that is was REALLY bad if I ever came in from playing outside crying or bleeding or hurt in some way! We let blood roll down our legs and did just about anything to avoid leaving our games and bikes!

I think I'm on a full-fledged rant at this point, but I've been horrified and amazed the last few months while searching out the place we want to use for kindergarten around here. We have a few charter schools and a few regular public school options. Going to open houses and talking to parents gave us a big clue where we DID NOT want to send our child! Some of these parents will tell you point blank they don't want their child told, "no," and they don't want their child attending a school where ANY sugar is in ANY food and ANY food is non-organic (even if they're packing their kid's lunch -little precious may get an oreo from the "bad" kid) -and they don't want their child to be forced to sit or do activities that he or she doesn't want to do at that moment.....I don't know WHAT these people think their kids are going to turn out to be -but it won't be much. Another zinger is the group who will decline your birthday party invitation because they don't want their child to think they get cupcakes every weekend....So yeah, I do think for some folks there is just too much information. They don't seem to have a filter or any common sense!

Hey R., I feel like you do. Keep some Tylenol in the house for fevers and headaches. Ginger ale and saltines I had not even thought about, but luckily we don't have to deal very much with vomiting.
Let kids be kids and play hard. The scrapes and bruises they will get over. If it's something more serious, yes, go see a doctor. Alcohol or peroxide to clean the wounds and the seal it up with a Band-Aid.
Well said!

I couldn't agree with you more!! I am a worrier by my very nature, so I have to try to keep myself in check and limit what I will google and what I will call the pediatrician about LOL!

Yes there can be information overload.

I agree with the kiss a booboo and it goes away and give my sick kiddo chicken soup and ginger ale, but I am glad a child that is vomiting or has a fever now has to stay out of school for 24 hours after symptoms go away.

I blame our food system. I have always thought the amount of growth hormones used and the portion sizes and the way we feed our animals and ourselves is all out of whack with what God intended. Everything in nature should have a symbiotic relationship with the 'wholeness' of all. We (people/animals) breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide; trees/plants/etc, through photosynthesis, then turn the carbon dioxide into oxygen. We are breathing the same air as the dinosaurs did. Now we are polluting it, causing animals to die and people to become sick....

"Back in the day" when things seemed simpler, it is because IT WAS SIMPLER!! We have screwed ourselved, pardon the language. Watch Food, INC. It will open your eyes. I 'knew' some of the info before, but now I really only want to eat only the food of which I know the source....and it is local.

I think we worry more because there is more stuff to worry about. It's not just information overload, although that is part of it. Americans are just not as healthy as we were a generation ago. All the preservatives and other junk in our foods and environment and all the medicines we pump our bodies with contributes to the multitude of diseases and disorders that plague us and the antibiotic resistant bacteria that infect us. I don't think most peoples' bodies are healthy enough to fight off stuff naturally that people could a generation or two ago.

You hit the nail on the head. This age of information makes us question our own intelligence and gut instinct. Maybe this is why so many people are on meds for anxiety. I say do a small amount of research on the issue, then listen to your own inner voice.

Another thing that I thought of...I'm a teacher and it's AMAZING at the number, complexity, and intensity of educational or learning problems that crop up nowadays. Not saying that I have any issue with a kid who needs extra time on a test or needs to have a small class size. But both my husband and I have encountered students whose education plan includes that they are NOT ALLOWED TO FAIL A TEST! Why? Because they have strong self-esteem issues and failing a test would be damaging to them psychologically. OK, then how about instead of just complaining to teachers and para-pros to have that little tidbit put in an IEP, you spend time helping your kid study so he or she doesn't fail! As soon as kids start having difficulty in school, some parents are right back in the principal's face, bringing in every teacher and para-professional in the building, to get another allowance added into the IEP. It diminishes the importance of students who use these plans to actually succeed in school.
And, by the way, these are the same parents who complain that there's too much homework, yet also the teacher never helps their kid review the lesson, and also, all that homework interferes with little Jimmy's karate classes, soccer practice, and whatever else the parents can send the kid to so that they don't actually have to, you know, have parent-child "time" together. And, of course, little Jimmy has an entire library of video games and his Facebook and Myspace so he can unwind at the end of a long day.
Hey! Being a good parent means actually interacting with your kids and embracing teachable moments. It means raising a well-rounded kid who participates in activities he or she finds interesting as well as one who learns how to manage time. It means helping your kids learn accountability through learning from failure and recognizing that 99% of teachers are actually in the business of helping your kids become competent members of society and you are doing no good in establishing them as the enemy by accusing them of not catering to your child's every eccentricity. It means doing what's best for your kid, even if that means letting them struggle a little. Remember when we used to say that challenge builds character? It still does.

Not if you get an anaphylactic reaction it isn't. I would not say that NO ONE had allergies. My mom is 53 - she is allergic to strawberries and cinnamon (no anaphylaxis -- just hives and ulcers) and seasonal stuff/pets. Waited till she was in her 20s to get allergy shots. My dad developed a shellfish allergy at 40 (14 years ago). Me/my husband - just seasonal/pets and both had shots for 7 years each (NO FOODS at all -- we are 34 and 33). My 3.5 year old daughter has anaphylaxis to peanuts plus bad bleeding eczema itching to milk, eggs and fish. Son (2.5) - nadda (been tested because of his sis' bad allergies). 3 different generations -- all with allergies. Maybe it wasn't publicized or maybe environments have made our bodies adapt (or fail to adapt) over time.....but they were always there. I even know a girl from my childhood who was allergic to wheat and yeast.

There are more dual-working parent households now than there used to be, so sure kids sharing germs at school tick other working parents off and now there are strict return to school policies in place with fevers/vomitting.

I blame the staph/MRSA on the overuse of antibiotics and CLEAN EVERYTHING with harsh chemicals WAY TOO FREQUENTLY mentality. If you have ever known anyone with a staph infection, you would know they are hard to get rid of sometimes, recurrent, and if misdiagnosed can lead to a staph blood infection and sepsis.

Sometimes things are serious -- I understand you are trying to make light of things, but some things are just not a laughing matter IMHO.

I still old-style clean and bandage or care for cuts, but when it comes to my daughter's allergies, I will go to the end of the earth to protect her. I keep the house clean, but not dust free; I clean cuts and only bandage them if they are actively bleeding; and we avoid the pediatrician or hospital like the plague unless the kids REALLY need to go their or have their well visits because both are a cesspool of stuff we really do not need to be exposed to. I also believe fresh air, outside play, and healthy nutritious meals helps to keep kids healthy. So, I don't disagree with you entirely -- just think you are making light of some things you shouldn't....

i am totally with you, babes.
:) khairete
S.

I am right with 'momof2girls'.

I don't over react, but I don't under react either. My mother was the under reactor (like someone else said about a broken arm & their dad) with ME, but is an over reactor when it comes to MY daughter. I guess I didn't whine and complain and sob enough. My daughter acts like she's dying when she scrapes a knee. I had to have surgery on my thumb to reattach a ligament and a tendon because my mom told me that she wasn't taking me to the hospital when i was 13 after landing on my thumb... Snapping that ligament and tendon... I had that surgery when I was 26 because it had REALLY started to bother me. The surgeon was FLOORED that I had not had it repaired when it happened. But I didn't scream about it.

I completely agree! I think that we're more educated so the more you know sometimes the more you worry. On the other hand, we've been taught to be afraid. Every little new syndrome or symptom is now covered on the nightly news. All the bad news has made us nuts! We can't help it, we don't know how else to react. Our instinct is to protect. Over the years we went from letting our kids play in the neighborhood to keeping them inside or only allowing playing if you meet every parent on the block and do an interview and background check.

There is STILL more good than evil in the world but we never hear about the good stuff going on. I think it's high time we take back what's ours. If we act afraid the "bad guys" and the germs will give us a reason to BE afraid. Let's not be afraid anymore (use good common sense) and let's take back what's ours! If there's going to be a change it has to start somewhere, why not us?

I completely understand where you are coming from. But with the world it is today, you almost have to be too careful. Artificial ingredients in our foods, radiation emitting from power lines, pesticides, heck even global warming...the world of today is not the same as yesteryear.

I mostly agree with you on this. I'd also add how ridiculous it is for parents to run alongside marching bands during parades squirting water into the kids' mouths. Sure, people can get heat stroke. But how did we all survive before water bottles? I was in marching band in Houston, practicing on a blacktop practice surface in the August heat for hours, and yes, it was uncomfortable, but no, there wasn't any water except during breaks, and we had to walk inside to get it. Not one single person died. Not one!

With allergies, the truth is that there are more people with true, clinically tested allergies now than in past generations. It's not only because it is recognized more. Research shows that there ARE more. There are many theories for the reason, but that hasn't been proven yet. We are exposed to a lot more harmful chemicals now and eat more processed food with additives than past generations, and that may play a role. Immunizations have been blamed, because even though they protect against illness, they also hinder the body's ability to build healthy immunity. Allergies are immunity gone haywire. Two of my kids have very bad allergies, so I've looked into this a lot. Insurance companies balk at paying for the expensive testing, so if anyone is having their kids tested "just in case", they are finding some irresponsible doctors, paying a lot out of pocket, and subjecting their kids to a very uncomfortable series of procedures. As a kid, I had a couple of allergies identified purely from noticing the cause and effect pattern of symptoms. When there are allergies to common foods, such as milk, wheat, etc., that can be impossible to identify without special measures.

It's hard to strike a balance isn't it? In the past, sometimes kids died from avoidable things (still do sometimes), and as parents, we can't abide the thought of that happening to our own children. But we don't want to let fear control us. That balance is hard with so much information available about what can go wrong!

I also wonder whether having fewer children is part of the reason. It's not like having more children would give us a "spare" that we're willing to lose ;)
but having more children would by necessity make it less possible to obsess over our children than when there are only one or two to divide our attention between.

Yeah, I understand what you say.
Not growing in this country and have just being slap in the face (just a say) with different ideas I can tell you it was weird at the beginning.
Now many thing that we do now are right on and we should have done them long time ago. "Some" (I say "some" not all not even many) people in Mexico don't use carseats, maybe some people in here but in more rural parts either. When my first born I didn't have a car but when I got in my aunts car I did without using one. Now I can't imagine doing such a thing, it wasn't bad parenting, we just didn't knew better. My mom use to "cure" us from stomach ache with toasted bread and apple juice, and how many times with the so "miracle" salive, lol.
On the other hands like Dawn pointed, it can go both ways. Last week my daughter was complaining she wasn't progressing on her volleyball, we were practicing at a park when she got hurt with with a tree, I told her to be strong and keep playing, later she show me her hand and she had a big scratch/cut that took 4 days to heal, and she couldn't go to her game because of that, I don't need to tell you how I felt, I should have put all the whistles and stuff.
Times change, ideas too, who knows what our kids and grandkids world holds.

.

DS is 5. He gets a band aid and back outside to play. Fever - tylenol and back to playing as soon as he feels up to it (since he believes tylenol works in about 5 minutes, it generally takes about 5 minutes). Vomiting (thankfully rare) - no food for a few hours, dry toast and back to playing. If he feels fine and has a snotty nose we don't take his temperature.

I so want to be ignorant and not worry. In fact I live to get to the point when I will not worry. But you know what? A pattern has sucked the life out of me: simple cold, with snot and all, lingers for too long, causes sinus infection, then ear infection. a few times a year of this multiply by 4 my daughter loses hearing in one ear. when I go to bed, most nights, I try ti imagine me and my girls living in a deserted island, away from doctors, and medication, and allergies, and colds, and viruses and germs. total eternal bliss for me.

I agree and disagree with you. But, in a not mean manner. I was not prepared at all for kids. WE were kids literally ourselves when we got preggo with our first. My mom had it pretty easy going when it can to health issues. my older sister was allergic to some type of antibiotic. other then that we were ok. I think me being young and not understanding fully what any of those things were myself at the time...had to draw my own conclusions. my first has been to the doctor for everything. From milk allergy to whatever else. He eventually grew out of it. my milk shake in the middle has not been that lucky. He can have yogurt and cheese, because they are processed different from cows milk you drink. You give anything with actual dairy init and the poor kiddo is on the potty for hours. My third has no problem with any milk of any kind.

I dont know how it evolved from where we were so used to home remedies to todays over use of doctors. I know my thing was my age even at 22 i had no clue what i was doing. when they said ok you and baby can go home now. I had no clue what to expect. Once we broke him in the second and third were easier.

That doesnt answer the question well, but may give some prospective into where some moms are coming from. I am a germaphobe. That is because i just think the idea of everyone passing germs around to each other is gross...but that is a whole other posting!!

Amen!
I don't know about hives, but Amen to the rest! :)

i feel you on this one. Wheni was a kid you could bring peanut butter to school, the worst thing that got spread was chicken pox! kids could pout a toy in their mouth with out getting lead poisoning! High fructose corn syrup??sounds like a plain old now and later to me! lol

My children were little and we were at a playground. I was standing behind them and making sure they didn't get hurt. This mom came up to me and shared this advise which I think has made me a much better parent. When you stand behind them like that, you are teaching them that they are failures. You believe they are going to fall down and you are showing them that you don't believe they can handle it. Take a step back. Remember what it was like to be a kid. Even if they fall, from that height, they aren't going to die. Best all-time advise ever!

The only other thing I have to say is . . . remember when we all used to pile into the back of the pickup truck and go to the gravel pit where we would go swimming every day. Some of the best memories of my life. And I didn't die!

It's the access to the information, the self-diagnosing websites, the symptom flow charts that tell you the possibilities that you have some crazy rare disease, and the general public tendency to have a confirmation bias.

I personally think there is way too much information out there to just plain scare us.

I also think our "mommy sense" was given to us...you know a gut reaction to what is going on with out kids. I am the "ooops, you fell down....yea, get up and keep going!!" kind of mom. But there are times that gut kicks in and you know something is really wrong.

Like when my daughter who was 10 months old fell down and I heard the scream she made I KNEW something was wrong...my husband who came home later told me it was my imagination. Friday night to Monday morning I kept telling him I knew she was hurt...he told me I was over reacting, I even doubted a few times...but you know what her leg was broken. I was glad I took her in even though she was still crawling, but not "right".

My son had colds turn into a major asthma situations three months in a row where we ended up needed medical intervention each time to get his breathing under control. Then I realized he had not had a un-stuffy nose in months and constant chapped lips from all the mouth breathing. I did call about allergy testing...his allergy to dust mites was very high. We treated his bedding and his room (no stuffed animals and carpet)...now the nebulizer is packed up in the closet and he can breathe through his nose again. When he gets sick I don't wonder how many trips to the doctor it will take to get his breathing back under control.

So, when there is a need and a mommy gut feeling telling you to get intervention...do it...but not for every scraped knee or sniffles.

"The Blessing of a Skinned Knee" by Wendy Mogel, PhD is one of my favorite "loaners" to parents. She reminds us that our children learn through failures (even the minor ones), mistakes and accidents. Without experiencing a few "boo-boos", the learn only in hypotheticals and "watch outs".

"Millenials Rising" is another great one that sheds light on the "helicopter parents" generation.

Sometimes we forget that when we were kids and did something stupid, we dealt with the fallout and never did it again!

I am right there with you sister!

I am a fairly easygoing parent in terms of illness and injury. Unless he spikes a crazy fever or something I'm not likely to haul him off to the doctor. Likewise, when he's playing and falls I don't react and 95% of the time he'll get up and brush himself off and keep playing. If he cries, I give him a kiss on the boo-boo, make sure nothing is broken, and he's off and going in 2 seconds.

On the flip side, I was recently talking to a mother who's now healthy 4 year old was struck down last year (at 3) in a matter of 48 hours by severe pneumonia and went from her birthday party on one day, to life support and organ failure the next. Thankfully she survived but they said if her parents had waited until morning to bring her in, she would have died--and she didn't even seem *that* sick.

That said, it's fine line we walk, but we should not take for granted that the increased access to information, increased awareness about potential danger to our little ones saves lives.

Since we are talking about when we were kids, infant mortality (children under 5 who die) in the US has been cut in HALF since 1980 and by almost 75% since 1970. Nearly half of all deaths in the 1980's-1990 were caused by infection (respiratory and septicemia), injury and SIDS and are thought to be largely preventable through proper intervention such as infection prevention/treatment, nutrition, sanitation and parental education. ("Back to Sleep", Carseat Laws, access to healthcare, WIC, etc).

So, while we may be a little less carefree these days, ignorance isn't always bliss--especially if you are one of the parents who lost a child due to something preventable like pneumonia because they didn't seek treatment in time.

I don't know anyone who goes out and gets tested for allergies "just in case". I know several parents who get their kids tested because they present symptoms of allergies and the parents are trying to improve their child's quality of life.

I do think you are reading too much into it. I hardly ever take my kids to the doctor, but when we have gone, it's been for something serious.
My kids have Type 1 diabetes and we have been criticized by friends for being "too cautious", but then none of them have to stay awake all night just to keep their kids alive because their blood sugar is bottoming out.

I would say, to everyone on this thread, don't judge the way other people parent because you NEVER know what people are going through on a day to day basis. We can't pooh-pooh vomiting when we don't know how bad it really is. And you are not a hero for not getting tested for a nut allergy even though you get hives from almonds.
I am not trying to make you feel bad, but you asked, and I am giving my opinion.

I feel like, lately, there has been a lot of "picking" on Mamapedia. Why do we constantly have to question WHY other people do the things they do and shake our heads in disbelief when people don't do things the way *we* would?

I know you really think you are saying all of this in a loving and caring way, but your post came across as insensitive toward people who are just trying to give their children the best quality of life that is possible.

I hope you understand that I am not angry with your post, I'm just giving you my opinion.

I like this question because I have been wondering the same thing. I mean, were our parents and grandparents just bumbling around in the dark trying to raise us without killing us or are we just over thinking it now?

On the allergy issue, my SIL and I were just talking this weekend about this. Obviously some kids have very dangerous allergies now - to the point they could die if they just come into contact with a surface that some other kid touched with an allergen hours before. Has this always been the case or has something changed to cause these sever allergies?

Sorry - I have no answers, just more questions but thanks for posting.

I so think about this, even more so when i am watering the flowers and i let my 2 year old drink from the hose, or that he spends most of the time in a shirt and diaper with no pants on, or if he is outside and drops a fruit snack and picks it up and eats it, he had playdough the other day and ect i think all the time what other moms think when they see, but my response it that i grew up with NO BPA free bottles, drinkin out of the hose many of times while playin outside when i was little and "still do".

Not only do I completely agree with your post....I recently started wondering....after all the excellent advice I have given (haha) or have received or have read from other mama's here....do the askers ever learn from our experience and advice?

In addition to information overload, and wanting to improve on the parenting styles before us, and live up to society's theme of 'be the best mom you can be,' there are those who like to sensationalize their illnesses or their kids illnesses. They derive attention from it.

I have a daughter serving with the US Peace Corps in Guatemala right now and she has been translating for medical mission trips. This is a country with NO social services. A young mother came in with an 8 lb, 8 mos. old baby who was dying b/c her breast milk had dried up and there were no other feeding alternatives. The young mother had been smashing up corn tortillas and trying to feed the infant. The infant was too weak to even cry. They had to send her home with nothing, but to die. My daughter is there to teach nutrition, basic nutrition needs to mothers. She's doing way more. And we've got the UK making and selling breast milk ice cream....where is the balance?

We live in a land blessed with so many personal freedoms which lead to any and all types of parenting styles, and early intervention programs that are deemed to be the answer to every child's future.....so sign up now, now, now....we label too quickly and we don't let our kids heal naturally from skinned knees and flus or learn the natural consequences gravity and falls.

It's good to know there are other common sense mama's in the world.