Judge-orders-mother-to-stop-breastfeeding

I imagine there is a lot more to the story than we are seeing. The mom should pump. That way, the baby gets the breast milk but the husband can have his visits. It seems like such an easy solution that the parents are clearly too stubborn and angry with each other to come to any sort of agreement.

The judge shouldn't be allowed to order her to stop breastfeeding altogether. He should order her to agree to pumping or formula when the father has the baby.

I didn't watch the video, but I know a woman whose child is 2 and she's trying to use breastfeeding as an excuse not to give the dad overnights. Total control freak. He was nice enough to allow her to breastfeed for 2 years without demanding overnights because she let him have as much daytime time as he could, but now she's trying to be even more controlling and he's finally had enough and is going to a lawyer. I fully support a woman's right to breastfeed but pumping is a possibility and it's not the child's fault you and the dad broke up- both of you should have time to see the kids. I don't support a woman's right to use breastfeeding to keep a dad from seeing his kid.

I'm pro breastfeeding but I think this case has nothing to do with breastfeeding. It appears to be more about the fact that the father had to go to court to seek visitation with his daughter (mom says "Now that the court is involved") and she doesn't want to let her daughter stay with him. Probably another case of we broke up and now I hate him so I'm going to make it as hard as possible for him to be involved in his daughter's life. Sad when so many fathers take off that you have 1 that wants to be there and you push him away.

Her daughter is 10 months old. Won't take a bottle. And she says she can't pump enough for two days. Sorry but I call BULL SH*T on.

1. She CAN pump enough for two days. She doesn't want to.
2. Her daughter WILL take a bottle - but she has made it to where she is used to the breast.
3. Yes, breast milk CAN be frozen.
4. At 10 months, yes, she can put the breast milk in a sippy cup.

http://www.wfmz.com/news/news-regional-lehighvalley/Judge...

I support breast feeding. I truly do. But this W. is being - well - I'll let readers input what word they want.

It appears this W. is using breast feeding to keep her child away from her biological father. I think it's wrong.

The judge can't tell her what to feed her child - and obviously is a turd (for lack of better words) and IGNORANT - as he is using his "belief" that formula is the way to go - by asking the question "Shouldn't she be on formula?" PAHLEASE. Yes, she COULD be on formula. However, the mother is producing milk, which is FREE and better (again, my opinion).

If I were the judge? I would have told the mother - good for you for breast feeding - however - you can't use it to keep your daughter away from her father. Pump. Let your child's father care for her as well. Supply him with enough breast milk for 2 to 3 days and allow him to care for him. Give him a chance.

Her daughter SHOULD be on solids right now. She's 10 months old. She does NOT need to breast feed exclusively. And if she is? She's producing A LOT of milk for a 10 month old to breast feed exclusively!

I think the question is whether she is using breastfeeding to manipulate the system. I couldn't find any information about how long she breastfed her older kids but I am sure the judge has that information.

If she only breastfed her other kids six months then there is a clear question of whether she is extending this trying to gain an unfair advantage in the custody battle.

If that is the case she should be ashamed of herself because it will make it harder for the next woman who is breastfeeding during a custody battle.

Oh boy--

Okay, so this is really less about breastfeeding rights to me, inasmuch as it's far MORE about two people who shouldn't have had a baby together, period.

Breastfeeding for as long as it works for both mother and child is *ideal*. That said, so is having two mature adult parents who are committed to each other *before* making a baby.

Thus, their situation is LESS than ideal due to the fact that these two young people decided to put themselves first and make a baby without actually being a responsible, functioning couple.

But the other reason I am less sympathetic on this is because we aren't discussing another problem (because we are only dealing with ideals) -- what would the mom do if SHE couldn't nurse due to a medical issue? What if she needed a medication which precluded breastfeeding? Would she not take the medication? Would she not use formula-- at least, try to? As a breastfeeding mom myself(when Kiddo was wee little---not now!) I always knew that I needed to have a back-up plan in cases like these. I always accepted that there might be a time I'd have to rely on formula and that feeding it to my son wouldn't make me any less of a loving mom. A loving mom will make sure that she can do the best she *can* (period) for her kid.

And what about Jasmine's right to have two parents in her life? She's a baby, but it's her right to know her daddy as early as possible. It's important that her father be able to participate in caring for the little girl...whether or not mom can pump. I've seen many babies take sippy cups of water or formula at this age.

My guess is that the judge didn't say so much "stop nursing" but more of 'if breastfeeding is the issue you are holding up to block visitation, I'm taking that reason away from you'. I don't know this young mom, she's probably a very nice kid, but she does seem very immature in some ways, including having a baby with someone whom she thinks so little of that she's more or less fighting about visitation. Not saying the dad's perfect here, either. The only blameless one is the baby. :( Pretty sad.

I think there is room for compromise here. The baby is 10 months old - let the mom have overnights for another 2 months and then at a year old, they can start to introduce cow's milk (or whatever) in a cup, which the girl can drink while at her dad's house and then the mom can continue to breastfeed while her daughter is at home, and perhaps pump when she's not anyway. That way the pumped milk will be available but if it's not enough to feed her daughter, they can supplement with cow's milk.

There's really no reason that the dad can't have her during the day on a Saturday, bring her home Saturday night and then pick her up again on Sunday for some more parenting time for a couple more months.

I have breastfed all three of my children, and my 18 month old still nurses 6-10 times/day. I was never able to get any milk when I tried to pump, possibly because I only tried after my babies were several months old. The mother may truly be unable to pump for dad to feed. Also, my babies completely refused bottles. Breast is nutritionally superior to formula. It is also an emotional thing with babies. Denying the baby this at 10 months old isn't fair to the child. Too bad the parents couldn't come up with a solution that put the baby's needs first. Maybe dad could have the baby for several hours every evening and for 4-5 hours each weekend day. There has to be some middle ground.

I believe you are wholeheartedly right ! And yes, breast milk can be refrigerated or frozen. Breastfeeding shouldn't take away the rights of Dad, but, it shouldn't take away the rights of mom to breastfeed either. I can't believe a Judge would even consider this, not sure he/she is within their legal capabilities either ! I would have ordered that Mom refrigerate or freeze her milk or supplement with formula so there isn't an excuse for Dad not to be able to see his child , or she would be the one accountable for not following his orders. Shame on the Mom if she was using this as an excuse. Children need their fathers in their lives as long as there is no harm being done to the child. Too many children are out their without their fathers and it does affect them, usually in a negative way. What is the world coming to ?

From everything I've read and heard about cases like this, the father's overnight visits are not put into place until the baby has stopped nursing. The father can have visitation during the day though.

To order a mother to stop feeding her child is absolutely ridiculous.

The mother can pump, assuming she's ABLE to pump (not all women are capable biologically of pumping). Breast is best, but Daddy's relationship with his child trumps breastfeeding. If Mommy was using breastfeeding to try to limit Daddy's time with the baby, using it as a reason she needed to keep the baby more time than a willing father, shame shame.

I only found a brief quotation from the mother. Does the site have more information that I'm not knowing how to access it?

I agree with your way of thinking but since I don't know why the judge made thst decision I don't know if father having time with daughter is the reason. Even if that is the reason perhaps the mother refuses to pump.

I see absolutely no reason at all that she couldn't pump to provide bm for the infant if she is concerned about the nutrition. That way, custody would be fair to the adults and best for the child - having two loving, involved parents IS best for the child.

In a first world country, the health benefits of breast milk compared to formula are very small (the risks of contaminated water used to mix formula is pretty much a non issue) and the child has already nursed for 10 months. There is no reason the child can not have formula some of the time and breast milk some of the time - many couples do this for many reasons.

I think the long term benefits of having two parents vastly outweighs any additional health benefits of breast milk in an infant who has already had breast milk for 10 months.

Of course - there are some real long term benefits to thinking out the initial proposal of having a child - how old you should be and whom you should have it with.

This is one of those things where ideally, the mother would be able to breastfeed the child every few hours. However, in a situation where the parents have chosen not to be together, the father does have the right to see his child and have frequent interactions with the baby. He should be commended for wanting to be so involved.

In this case, I would hope the mother would pump and freeze the milk so the father could give the baby bottles when the baby is in his care. I had to go back to work when my oldest was 6 weeks, and my husband cared for her while I was at work every day. This is exactly what we did. I took the pump with me to work, and at the times I would have fed her, I went to pump, and froze the milk. In this way, my husband was able to care for our baby, and she still received the benefits of breastfeeding.

I am not sure why a judge would order a mother to stop breastfeeding altogether. That just seems wrong.

All I can say is that I couldn't make pumping work. I tried and tried. My husband even tried to help me. I had tears running down my cheeks, it hurt so much, and so little would come out. I was successful at nursing, but not at all with pumping.

Now, my babies didn't care one wit whether they got breast or bottle, breastmilk or formula. I never had one bit of trouble with that. My younger son did better with a bottle with a nipple with a larger hole in it because it turns out that he had a submucous cleft palate. (It was hard for him to suck because of the cleft, but I didn't know that at the time.)

Anyway, the point I'm making is that not every woman can pump. However, a baby can be weaned from breastfeeding. Perhaps the father will just have to do it.

I don't really have an opinion. I just hope these parents can come together and co-parent for this baby. Whether they like it or not, they will all be bound together for life--or at least the next 18 years. They need to put aside their hate for each other and do what's in the best interest of the child.

Obviously this mother is "exclusively breast feeding" for reasons other than philosophy.

She can pump, if it's the health issue that's causing the issue. Also, dad could wait until 12 months for visitation outside of the mother's presence. It will not harm his relationship with the child to wait.

Personally, I think the child should stay at a family home and mom and dad should come and go according to the visitation schedule. THAT would be in the best interests of the child