JFF - Life Before Kids

Updated on July 23, 2011
A.S. asks from Dallas, TX
37 answers

I usually work on puzzles in my free time and have been working on a 1000 piece puzzle for my dining room wall. My two girls "help" out pretty regularly and we usually never have a problem but I guess my two year old was in a spirited mood this afternoon. I got up from my seat to answer the phone and she proceedee to demolish the puzzle that was 3/4 of the way finished. I didn't get mad, just frustrated with myself because I should have picked her up and taken her with me knowing she would probably have fun while I was away. I have been trying to fix the puzzle and I started to realize that I miss sitting at a table for several quiet hours by myself working a puzzle. I love my kids to death and I love having them help me with things and projects around the house. I wouldn't take it back for anything in the world. Is there anything you don't get to do often enough or miss from your life before you had kids?

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

Being a size 10! But I'll keep the bigger boobs =)

and reading a whole magazine, dancing all night, movies without pressing pause, not sharing my food

6 moms found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Reading is number 1!! Oh and going to the bathroom alone is a close second! I recently got a kindle and I love it so much! I was never one to be able to read while working out b/c I was always bouncing all over the place and couldn't see the tiny print...now that I have a kindle I make it big, really big, like Grandma big, and run on the treadmill while reading...it's changed my life! ;) I've read so many books lately and now I look forward to working out...except the other day when I just sat on the bench and read for 20 minutes...at least I was IN the gym! ;)

5 moms found this helpful
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E.W.

answers from New York on

Lets see: Reading, sleeping, shopping (for me), organization that didn't include toys everywhere, coming and going as I pleased, going out more, the list goes on. And its only gonna get longer, as I am 38 weeks pregnant today. Sigh. I do love being a M. though. I don't think I used to laugh (or repeat myself) as much as I do before I had kids.

3 moms found this helpful

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C.R.

answers from Seattle on

Watching television marathons of goofy old shows, like Saved by the Bell - haha - just because it was on. Running to the store and then wherever else I'd like to go without planning it all out or rushing home for nap, making sure she eats something good instead of stopping at Taco Bell if I feel like it. Eating a hot meal - the whole thing. Swimming. Dancing. Thinking, "Hey wouldn't it be fun to take of to Vegas for the weekend with my hubby!?" and then DOING IT - and being spontaneous in general. I love my girl to pieces, though and wouldn't trade her for any or all of that stuff! This is just a season in my life, one chapter in an entire novel. And it will all be over far too soon. My time to do the things I want to do for myself will come again. When they do, I'll probably be sad about it. Great question! :)

10 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Having nice things. I miss having nice things. Before kids, I had the time and disposable income to buy beautiful shoes, couture clothing, "real" accessories. Post-kids, my shoes are from Payless (thanks to DD filling all the Jimmy Choos with hair conditioner when she was 2), my clothes are Banana Republic on a good day, and my sunglasses are Target (after my other DD used my Prada sunglasses for "ice skates" out on the concrete patio when SHE was 2). Sigh.

Those were the days. And I'm not even getting into the fact that pre-kids, I used to LOOK FORWARD TO BIKINI SHOPPING! Suffice it to say that there is a muumuu in my closet now. *runs off to mix a stiff drink*

7 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Reading. Getting my feet done once a week. Getting my hair done every 6 weeks. Buying myself new clothes. Watching what I want on the TV without having to share or turn it up so I can hear. Eating hot food when it's served to me. There's quite a few things, but I wouldn't change my kids for the world!
L.

4 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Staying out or up as late as I wanted on a Friday and having the luxury of sleeping in till' 2pm on a Saturday and then laying in bed with my hubby eating junk food and watching show marathons or movies. We used to love our lazy Saturdays! We had a cute little apartment so the cleaning was minimal and there was no yard work, it was bliss. Plus it was our first year of marriage and we waited on the 'benefits' side of marriage until after the wedding day, so we had lots to do in bed all Saturday :D Now we enjoy lots of lazy Saturdays with pj clad kids and we just try to ignore all the stuff we should be doing!!! Good question :D

4 moms found this helpful

A.H.

answers from Portland on

Going to my hometown (where I don't know a babysitter) and going out to the club
Sleeping in
Taking a shower peacefully
Working out at the gym all the time (now I feel guilty lol)
Like Eve said, Having a "curfew" (to get back to the sitter)
Going on random road trips and last minute hang outs with friends
Not worrying about healthy meals
Traveling. I know it may be more challenging in another country b/c I will be worried about my baby girl being safe, etc.
Like Jenny, I miss having mad money for whenever (now I just feel guilty spending on me lol)

I miss being able to leave something on the table or counter without it being gone 5 minutes later. She will take it off the counter and go here mommy, lol at least she isn't trying to break it or play with it. (it is usually my camera when I forget to put it up higher).

I love her more than anything and wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Just requires more planning now :P

4 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Feeling like a woman.

4 moms found this helpful
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N.P.

answers from Mobile on

Eating a full meal by myself
Going to the restroom alone
Sleeping in
Just going with out worrying if i got diapers, cups, wipes etc

3 moms found this helpful
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P.S.

answers from Houston on

Staying out late. We are always rushing home so the babysitter can be home at a decent hour (and so we aren't paying an arm and a leg for the extra time).

3 moms found this helpful
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M.

answers from Cleveland on

I had a life before kids!!??!! I don't recall those days.

3 moms found this helpful

L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Ahh - this too, shall pass.
I am at the other end -- I've come back around to having me time -- my kids are older. I love it when they are home, but I also enjoy the time when they are gone. We have 2 weeks of an empty nest this month and we are loving it!
We chat with the oldest because he can use his cell while he is away at college. Our youngest is incommunicado for 2 weeks, but we know she is safe, happy, and enjoying every minute of her camp experience.
We are back to having time for us and we love it. We go to the dump and then to our favorite burger joint for lunch. We hit the grocery store or Walmart together. For us, it's about time together not what we are doing or where we are going, but it's the being together...
You'll be here before you know it!
LBC

3 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Life before kids? When was that again???

- Stay up for 36, sleep for 12

- Take contract work (being out of the country for 6mo at a time in places you don't take kids)

- Writing (although I'm about to have 1 weekend a month, so I may actually be able to start writing for publication again. We'll see. I've been toying, and have several hundred pages of slush so far from 2 weekends a few months ago, so if I can get the kinks out, maybe, maybe)

- Sports & Training

- Being able to be sick (actually sleeping and taking care of myself)

- Only having myself to think about in a relationship (aka, I would have gotten divorced a few years back

- Living off of fruity pebbles for a week, or eating collard greens for dinner (as in just that, because I want them, not needing to do the whole 'balanced meal' / real cooking thing)

3 moms found this helpful

L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Life before kids??? I can't remember what that was like anymore! LOL.....My eldest is 19 and my youngest is 22 months. So I've had kids around me for almost 20 years. Yikes....back then I was 19 (just aged myself - ha!) so I was into all the normal teenage/young adult stuff. I do however remember what it was like when I didn't have to chase after a little one which was 2 years ago. I had more time for me, to read, to do crafts, to scrapbook and to hang out with friends.....Maybe in a few years I can get back to that. God willing.....LOL....

2 moms found this helpful

J.C.

answers from Columbus on

I miss reading a book. I miss drawing. I miss quiet evenings with my husband. I miss drinking wine. I miss having mad money for rainy days. Even though my husband and I call ourselves "80 percenters" - having kids has pushed that to an even lower number. Countless projects are underway as we speak. Who knows if they'll ever get done!

2 moms found this helpful
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W.B.

answers from Houston on

i dont have ME time anymore :/ getting my nails done
getting my toes done etc.
i miss playing soccer the most , i would go to practice everyday and play on weekends ..it was a great distraction from everything else . now im just to busy with my 1 year old daughter ..

2 moms found this helpful
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E.J.

answers from Lincoln on

I had my son at 19 so I lost my "freedom" pretty early. I always say that I remember saying that I was going to grow up and do whatever I wanted, stay out as late as I wanted, etc. Well, now I do whatever centers around my child and if I get a night out I have a "curfew" since I have to get back to a sitter.

I wouldn't trade him for anything, but if I only I had told young stupid me that I wouldn't be free to do whatever I wanted when I got older!!! :-)

2 moms found this helpful
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A.N.

answers from New York on

I also love puzzles. It wasn't unusual for me to stay up until 2 or 3 am working on a really big puzzle. I haven't done a puzzle in YEARS- except for little Dora or Curious George puzzles. I've had an infant or toddler in the house continuously since 1999. I don't have anyplace to keep a puzzle like that anymore where it won't be demolished in a nano second. I started doing crossword puzzles and Sudoku instead, but I do really miss jigsaw puzzles.

I also miss having the time to get into my pajamas, crawl into bed with a good book, and read for hours on end- uninterrupted :)

When my youngest starts kindergarten, I'm planning on giving myself 1 week to use the time they're in school to read and do puzzles ALL DAY- lol.

Best wishes!! =o)

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Being able to sleep in, and just being able to watch what I like on TV instead of having to compete with Dora and Diego. And being able to just go out shopping, or even just browse in a book store, for hours on my own and not have to have a time limit, or feel guilty that I'm not doing something "worthwhile". And lay out at the pool or the beach without having to keep my eye on someone every second.

2 moms found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

Im a loner I guess. I do have a 15 yr old but when he was born I was young and lived with my mom and I had a lot of help. Now that I have a 4 yr old and its all on me im tired! I miss sleeping, by myself, nobody touching me for as long as I want. My baby is very attached to me and sometimes I miss just being alone, ya know? Sometimes I watch sex and the city and envy those girls, wonder what that is like. Then the tv magically switches to barney and im reminded how lucky I really am!

2 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I also miss jigsaw puzzles. I have some very nice, very expensive puzzles that are waiting for a time in my life ..... well, no time soon.

Showers & long bubble baths

Going out and playing pool. I was in a league once & won a tournament. Now, I'm sure my game's gone to $%#^. Plus I have a lot more belly in my way, so those long, cross-table shots will be all the more difficult. My cue is in the same closet as my puzzles. Waiting.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Collages, artistic creations, pottery etc. Whenever I seem to get started on something, they interrupt me ;)

1 mom found this helpful

C.F.

answers from Portland on

Getting to go out and just "be"...
I miss when I needed or wanted to go somewhere I could just up and go, now it takes tons of preparation and getting myself ready and her....
Being able to go see a movie when it comes out, now I have to decide if it's something she can watch or find a babysitter, easier to see it on DVD.

Just freedom in general, only being responsible for myself.

WORKING, I miss working and going to school, until we can get her in full time school and care I can't do those things.

Having a life besides "mommy".

Oh, and my "pre-mommy" body....

1 mom found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from New York on

ooh, I miss sleeping. Pre kid, I always took a nice nap during the day,,, that was the days :)

1 mom found this helpful
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H.S.

answers from Detroit on

The quiet. My son has ADHD and whines CONSTANTLY! I'm a big reader and I've really come to look forward to when they are out playing in the side yard and I can just sit down and read a book while glancing out the window to keep an eye on where they are. Do you have a family member that could watch them for an hour once or twice a week? It's important that they see you take time for yourself.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I wish I could remember things like I did before kids. I can go to the grocery store for one item and forget it. I also miss reading.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Read
Doing my art work
Sculpt
Pottery
Going out.
Just having quiet
Not feeling constantly RUSHED with a 'deadline' over my head like a guillotine.
Working out
Beading
Not having to get up every 5 seconds, because I am being called "MMMMOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYY!" all the time. Just being able to SIT down... and stay sitting down.... just to relax.

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Provo on

I am an artist, but since having kids, I rarely pull out the art supplies, though I am starting to more now that my youngest is 3. We do all do art projects together, but those days of working for hours on end on a drawing or painting and then being able to leave it out to work on when inspiration strikes are over. The kids always want to "help" with my project and there have been a few times that a child has painted over an almost-finished painting when I have left it for just a minute. It is frustrating, although it also makes for a funny memory. We also just got back from a vacation at the lake, and pre-kids I would have been waterskiing and tubing and having fun in the water the whole time, but my youngest was terrified of the boat so I had to hold her the whole time, there is no way I could have passed her off to someone else while I skied. It seems that things are getting easier the last year or so, though. I feel like I am starting to be able to do some of the things I enjoyed pre-babies. The kids are becoming more independent. And of course, I would not trade my kids for anything. Having children might make it so I have to plan better and juggle more, but they also bring so much to our lives. The other thing is, while creating art is always harder with them around, those kids are so stinking supportive. I can always count on them to compliment what I am working on, and it is a huge payoff to see them try to create their own artwork. Love those kiddos. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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E.P.

answers from New York on

My house used to be spotless and uncluttered. It's presentable now, but nothing like it used to be. I used to have more energy to be creative and entertain more than I do now - with fancy linens and china. I try to keep it a little simpler most of the time now but I do miss having things in order - oh, and I miss my clear mind - don't know where that went.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.E.

answers from Jacksonville on

Sleeping in......I remember sleeping until noon some days and also napping whenever I needed it......

Also agree with the being sick one.....There is no such thing as being sick and having a sick day when you have kids......I do miss that......

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Scuba diving, travelling and sleeping. I still dive occasionally, but not every weekend like bc (before children). My husband hardly plays any golf anymore or travels.

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J.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

getting to eat meals while they are still hot lol

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

We don't travel like we used to. Not because we don't want to with the children, but because it's more expensive (4 tickets instead of 2, and instead of hopping trains and busses we rent a car big enough for the stroller and "STUFF" we bring having boys who can't carry their own backpacks yet). Instead of blowing money, we have colleges and cars in the back of our minds. Staying up late, sleeping late, going out more often.
That said, there are other things I didn't do often enough before children that I DON'T miss: I didn't have unconditional love, didn't quite understand real love before my children, didn't understand (and took for granted) a lot of what my mom did when I was growing up, I had a lot of days with no purpose, I had time to be lonely sometimes (ha), I forgot to see the world through a child's eyes and didn't take the time to inspect the rock, smell the rose, spy on the lizards, I forgot about Mickey Mouse, I didn't hear the squeals and laughs of little boys squishing their feet in mud, I didn't see the light come on when a child learns something new and amazing, I didn't have a captive audience for my cooking experiments, and I forgot the JOY that comes from running around and around and around the couch.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I never had a life before kids.... i was 18 when i had my 1st... then 3 more. I would be a good spokesperson for teenage pregnancy :)

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M.B.

answers from Lancaster on

Reading an entire book in one sitting. Sitting outside on a beautiful summer night, doing nothing. Cooking complicated gourmet meals with my husband while drinking a whole bottle of wine. Oh what the hell - I miss just being able to actually taste my food instead of just scarfing it before I run off to take care of a little one!

✿.*.

answers from Los Angeles on

I miss the social and mental stimulation of working! I will not start working again or start a business until they are both going to school full time. I. LOVE being with them, and am very grateful...but momma is losing it :)

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