Is There Anything I Can Do to Get Our Close Relationship Back?

Here's my advice and you can take it or leave it:
Your relationship with your daughter is extremely dysfunctional. You cite all that you have given up for her without acknowledging how much she obviously has tried to give back.

I was once at the crossroads of a similar situation. My own mother, who I was never, ever 'good enough' for, escalated the demands and insults to the point that I told her we either went to counseling or I was done. Done was not not walking away out of anger; "done" was my only option for self-preservation. Having a parent telling you constantly how you aren't doing enough, being enough-- it does effect nearly every other relationship in ones life. It is draining and destroying. She has grown. You haven't.

It's been 15 lovely (yes, lovely) years now that I have not had her in my life. She made the choice to stay 'the victim', she refused to see her role in our relationship and how she was damaging me. She has never met her grandson or my husband. I am a better parent for the hard (and often painful) work and growth I invested in myself. I'm a better friend and wife. My life improved so much...

I have not one--one-- shred of regret.

Life is about choices. You are choosing to tell your daughter that she is responsible for your happiness. She isn't. YOU are. (Frankly, if I'd received a letter like this from anyone like the one you wrote her, they would be dead to me. It is so incredibly toxic.) The fact that she wrote back speaks *volumes* about her kindness and integrity -- the qualities you so question in her. She offers to go to counseling, not to change who you are, but to change the dynamic so that you aren't hurting each other. The inner changes come through our own revelations about our own thoughts and beliefs, where they come from, and how they effect our behavior. They come from finding empathy for the person we feel conflict with, something I think you would benefit deeply from. Most healthy parents would be delighted that their adult children are making the life they want for themselves and experiencing the sweetness and love that comes with being a healthy parent. You sit in your bitterness and just feel 'she owes me'.

I tell you all these things as a cautionary tale of what can come if you choose not to respond to her gracious offer. I grieved the loss of my mother -- and her inability to want to get better and change-- and then, eventually, I moved past that and into a newer, freer world I will never, ever give up for her again.

Don't miss out on this. You have a path offered before you. Consider it a gift, get over your pride and anger, and take that step out in faith that this might make life better for both of you.

That was a HORRIBLE thing to send your daughter. Do you really think you are going to guilt her into wanting to spend more time with you? You are way to needy and should really consider therapy and find friends your age. You should apologize for sending her that e-mail and slowly work on fixing yourself. Once your daughter sees you working on yourself, she will come back to you and you guys will be better than ever. I'm really sorry for being harsh but I feel you need to know.

Perhaps you moved here from another country/culture. You don't say.

My life is my children BUT my children are not my life. They are a part of my life and I love every minute of it. My son and daughter are both grown and in live in separate states and check in on me. It is a two-way street with phone calls. Son is married and has family with a demanding job and I hear from him about every two months or so. Daughter calls almost daily and sometimes goes to three or four days depending on her activity from work. There are times she will call and vent and seek advice on how to cope with an issue at work. I learned a long time ago to stay out of the issues or they would remind me so I just keep our calls in the present of what's going on and how is everyone? They will respond and let me know by the tone of their voice how things are.

Get a life of your own to fill the void that you seem to have wanting your daughter to fill. She is a grown woman with her own family and they come first and you second or third depending on the activities of the family unit. Asking her to do something for someone she does not know is a bit much. She said no and she is honest about her abilities and time to do things.

The dream of living your life through your child is not a good or healthy thing. Do go to counseling to sort things out while you have a chance to still have a mother/daughter relationship. Learn how to be a person who is not needy and demanding. The only person who can make you happy is you. Be proud that your daughter has grown and is a responsible person in our society and culture. Sometimes traditions have to change in order for the next generation to move forward. You say that you did things to change so that you could love your daughter and give her hugs and kisses that you did not get. Now work on you as your daughter requests.

I would think that your daughter does love you so much more than you know or she would not have replied to your scathing email. I wish you a better life.

the other S.

I know very few adults who text their parents every day so you clearly don't realize how lucky you are.
Time for you to get a life of your own, work, volunteer, spend time with friends your own age, work on projects or hobbies. Being needy will only drive her away :-(

You are absolutely unbelievable...you are so out of line. Your email to your daughter was completely unnecessary. You have placed all the unhappiness and wrongs in your life on your daughter's shoulders. Your email was a manipulative guilt trip on your daughter. Why do you feel the need to point out all your sacrifices that you made during her childhood? Why is that relevant now? Newsflash honey...you are SUPPOSED to make sacrifices for your children...it's what parents do...you don't get a medal for it.

It sounds like your daughter turned out to be a successful, contributing member of society. That should have been your goal all along. It sounds like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders with a full time job, 3 kids, a home and a husband. Yet, she still made time to text frequently and talk a few times a week. And this just simply isn't good enough for you. And now you are pissed off that she wasn't able to do a favor for your friend. Have you thought that perhaps she just couldn't add one more thing to her plate?

You sound needy and manipulative. I cannot believe that you begrudge her time taking care of the family that she created with her husband. The hurt that you have had in your life should have no bearing on what your daughter does and it's not fair to put that on her. I cannot blame her for pulling away...you are just too much to handle with all of the other things on her plate now.

You need to find a new normal so that you don't feel like your life revolves around your daughter and grandchildren. You have raised her to be a good person. Now it is time to cultivate your own interests and hobbies. You better get a grip now or she will want nothing to do with you in the future...

Wow. After your SWH I think your daughter is amazing! Your email was bitter, mean and hateful and she still wants a relationship with you!? She answered your question already. Go to therapy with her!!

See, you're taking the fact that she wants to see her children on her weekends as she doesn't want to see you. You are taking it personally. That's a problem - of yours. Has nothing to do with how she feels about you. Just because she wants to spend her time with her family does not mean she doesn't want to be close with you. You have not drifted. She just has more obligations and different priorities right now. And will continue to as time goes on. If you think she is busy now, she is only going to get busier as her children grow (think teenagers).

She should be spending her time on her family and her house. Working full time with 3 small children? Is exhausting and demanding. She sounds like she is keeping in touch as much as she can.

I am guessing her husband is her best friend at this point. They are partners now. I am very close with my mother (who lives far away) and I think of her as a friend/mentor as well as my mom, but she doesn't require anything of me. If anything, she just offers help. Which I appreciate. I am in the *busy* period of my life and she gets that. I love spending time with her too - but if she sounded needy - I'd resent it. I'm already taxed by having a young family.

Sounds to me like you have a hole in your life. Fill it and then share your life with your daughter - approach it like that. And your grandkids :) Good luck

ETA: I read your SWH.

That was cruel and unnecessary. You sound very troubled. You obviously had a very difficult time of things (I couldn't read the whole letter). None of that is your daughter's responsibility. It is not up to her to make up for the lack of love you felt as a child and in your marriage. Do not put that burden on her (to make up for the pain others caused you). You're angry and were hurt by others, but taking it out on her. You would benefit greatly from counselling I think.

ETA:
Based on your SWH, you have a strangle hold on this woman! You've replaced a man in your life with your child! Honestly, you need some therapy - not trying to be mean, but you really do. Sorry, but you have goy to loosen the reigns! You're mad because she didn't cave to do your bidding for a friend? You better set her free before you lose her permanently.

Original
Wow - sorry it's not living up to what you would like, but you're in contact with her multiple times a day. That's more than I have with my mother, or with any other friends, I might add. Sorry, but you sound rather needy. Maybe you need to reevaluate what's reasonable and actually ask her whether there is anything wrong. I would bet she's simply living her life.

Oh dear. I don't have to even read your SWH to tell you that you're way too emotionally enmeshed with your daughter, and your daughter has recognized that it's not healthy and doesn't work for her. Children are not for meeting our own emotional needs. You need to stop expecting that of her and stop guilt tripping her. You're a grown adult woman who should be emotionally stable on your own and have your own friends and life. You're smothering her by making her your perfect Golden Child, and then punishing her by offering no grace when she isn't perfect enough to meet your very unreasonable expectations. That's NOT okay, and that's not a problem with her...it's a problem with you. You need to adjust. Please seek counseling and get your OWN life. Adults should not be obsessing about their children's lives.

You need to find a new best friend. One that is your peer, in your own age group. Be grandma, and mom...but quit trying to force a BFF relationship with your daughter. She has friends. You're her mom, and THAT is who she needs you to be.

While in your original post, I understood where you were coming from and empathized, your follow up changes my perception.

Starting with the initial post: it's sad when children drift away, but you need to temper your expectations. Talking to her 1-2 times a week is NORMAL. Texting replaces talking in these times, and you text with her every day. That is communicating every day. Much better than most mothers get. You see her a few times a month, living an hour away - again NORMAL.

However, in your follow up, I can understand her reluctance to encourage more time/communication. In your email you are manipulative, hateful (comparing her to your ex, who you clearly despise) and bordering on emotionally abusive. You highlight how wonderful you are (how you treated your mother, how you showered love, etc) to highlight your daughter's perceived short comings. Honestly, that's slightly narcissistic. I still feel deeply for you that you don't have the relationship that you would like with your daughter, but in the meantime, you should go into counseling to understand what underlying issues cause you to communicate with your daughter like that and why you are placing all of your happiness on her shoulders.

ETA: I just read your "So What Happened" and I am blown away but what a fabulous and giving daughter you have. You wrote a hateful and selfish email because your daughter didn't do a favor for your friend, you basically said that she OWES you because you had lousy parents, brother, husband (and BTW badmouthing a child's father is a terrible idea), and you are making her responsible for everything bad that happened to you. You have let her know she's not good enough. And she, in her magnanimous way, wrote back that she's getting a therapist to try to salvage any shred of a relationship with you, she refrained from cutting you off for good, or from telling you how incredibly shallow your email was. She is extraordinary and someone I would like to know. If she's not good enough for you through all of this, then she never will be. I urge you to cut her loose entirely (don't threaten it and do nothing - that's pure manipulation and it's awful) or get a therapist to find out how to heal the wounds you have nurtured for 67 years that have nothing, NOTHING to do with her. They aren't her fault, and they aren't her responsibility to fix.

Original answer: My goodness, you text several times a day and talk once or twice a week? That's great! Your daughter is doing what you did with her when she was younger - spending time with her children. When your daughter was a child, did you talk to your mother (or father) every day? I'm guessing you did not.

Your daughter works all week and she has children. I'm sure she's exhausted.

What I see that's a problem here are 2 things: 1) you say your daughter is your best friend. 2) you say your grandchildren are your life.

Children and parents are not supposed to be best friends. They have an unbreakable bond, for sure. Your daughter also has a husband. I'm guessing you did not, at least not a very present/contributing one, for most of her childhood since you say it was the 2 of you. So what happened here is that you made her your entire life. Did you develop your own friends and interests? Did you have job and develop friendships there? Are you part of any community organizations where you live? Church, local choir, food pantry volunteer, reading volunteer in the schools? Anything? You cannot work your entire life around your daughter and her husband/children. You raised her great - she's happily married and has 3 kids and a job. Hopefully she has friends and also has connections with her children's friends' parents for their activities.

Did you sacrifice so much for her just so you wouldn't be alone when you got older and retired? So you had a child "with a job" - namely, the job of keeping you entertained and involved? You feel she owes you, that you only put in your time so you could collect later? That's unfair to any child. I don't think that's what you intend - but it's how it's coming across. Do you want your daughter to do that to her children? To raise them and let them know how much she is sacrificing, so that they feel guilty? Or do you want her to raise them with strong roots but also with wings to fly? Do you want them to be happy and successful in their lives, both professionally and personally? I would hope so. Your daughter is doing exactly what you raised her to do - to be a strong woman able to take care of herself and to have a full life.

I think there is a strong woman inside of you, one who was resilient and able to raise a child alone. But you lost that woman and now you are lonely and feeling left out without your daughter. You need to find that strong woman and give your many gifts and talents to others. Be of service to others, and you will have a full and rewarding life.

If you guilt trip your daughter and constantly let her know what you gave up for her, you will drive her farther away and make her miserable. Please don't do that. My husband's mother did that to him - called every day for absolutely no reason, and he got to avoiding her phone calls because it was so constant and so needy and so pointless. I don't recommend that you go that route.

Please find other outlets for your abilities. You are good with children? Great - there are schools that need help and shelters that need volunteers, hospitals that need help with newborns and kids undergoing treatments, there are community groups that need babysitters while parents do other things. I'll bet you can find a zillion places right in your own back yard that would love a vibrant 67 year old woman who wants to give and be needed! That will make you a more interesting person to others, and more satisfied in between your visits with your daughter. My mother lived in my town for years - people asked her if we talked every day. Her answer was, "Goodness, no? What would we talk about every day? She has her life, I have mine. When we get together, we are happy to share." Honestly, my mother was way too busy to talk to me every day, and she had a rich and wonderful life!

She sounds perfectly normal. Kids aren't there to fill a void in your life. Do you work? Volunteer? Find some friends to hang out with, do something, but don't try to get your daughter to be your buddy because you have so much free time.

I see my father and my older children once a week when I have them over for dinner.

______________
Per your what happened, are you that crazy woman who keeps starting new user names to talk about how her perfectly normal daughter doesn't support her enough? I ask because that is bar none the most ridiculous over the top, please get psychological help, you really need it, I feel sorry for your daughter, response anyone could have come up with.

Actually reading the whole exchange you are clearly the same person except now you want to changes the ages and give her kids and a husband, who knows what the truth is but clearly with your BS response from her you want us to say see she loves you, she is the one wrong and seeking therapy. Problem is this is all in your head, it is your issues. No one, no therapist, nowhere would ever say she has the problem when you want her to replace your husband that left you! That is sick and twisted, get help!
__________
I just want to add and then I am done with this insanity. You keep claiming over and over in different posts with different names and ages that she is just like you and she will be hurt just like you eventually and then need you as much as you need her. By the way, what a loving thing to wish on your child. Yet reading your fake email and response, do you really think YOU would respond to the email you claimed to send the way you imagine she did or would? You have issues, serious issues, you need a therapist to work through them, not a message board

wow!
I am a 56 yo single mom of a LOT of kids (27 to 18). I have no grands yet, but the older ones are establishing careers. The 'youngers' are in college.
I am grateful to hear from them (text, phone, email). I welcome them for holidays, birthdays etc. I know IF I needed them, all seven would be here in a heartbeat. period.

For me...I let THEM take the lead.

For example, my youngest is a freshman at college. We (her disabled sis and I) will be going as she asked us to. It is 'family' weekend, but because she is working a theatrical production, we will leave at the crack of doom to be there...take her out for a bit...see the show..and then home.

I appreciate it when they contact me.
I am there IF they need me. They are there if I need them.

But, my goodness! I hope I taught them that THEY have lives to lead! (as do I).

That IS part of the job...yes?

Call me crazy. I thought some independence was the 'object of the excercize'
(is that spelled correctly? Looks wrong somehow. hmmm)

anyway...I wish you the best.

I never looked at my kiddos as peers/friends. I have enough of my own!

****eta****

I just read your 'so what happened'.

I have to say that I do not blame your daughter for trying to distance herself from you. I think you might want to seriously consider counseling for yourself.

I wish you healing and peace.

You will need to find that for yourself though...not through your daughter.

Well, your expectations are sounding like you want an every day event with your daughter and grandchildren. I think you need to reset your expectations.

This is NOT about your daughter. This is about YOU. You are high-maintenance. I love the suggestion of a hobby!!

We live about 30 minutes from my Mother In Law. We see her about once a week. We have a family dinner at her house (think The Waltons). She comes to many of our boys games. However, since my father in law died unexpectedly 18 months ago? She's traveling more and doing more for herself and by herself.

My parents? On the other side of the country. They are coming out for Thanksgiving and might stay for Christmas! Excited!

Take a step back and look at your blessings. Take a stroll through here and find out how many mom's don't have any relationship with their daughter or son. You need something for you to do! Adventure to a bingo club or some other "senior" activity center! Not saying you are old, don't take it that way. Find out what there is for 65+ aged women to do in your area! Get involved in your church! Start a women's group at your church! expand your horizons!!!

ETA: For crying out loud: LISTEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER! She is the reasonable one, and you are being hateful. Just read your update, and I am aghast. I can understand why your daughter is becoming distant with you. Are you kidding me? You threaten her, and guilt trip her, and insult her, and act like a martyr, and then you expect a good relationship? Stop being a brat. My mother did the same kind of bullsh*t you are doing, and basically ruined our relationship, FOREVER. And how DARE you get mad at her because she doesn't want to do a favor for YOUR acquaintance. She's busy, for f**k's sake. You should apologize to her for your childish rant.

Original response: My kids are the people I most adore in the whole world, and always will be. But they are not, nor will they likely ever be, my best friends. My best friends are my peers, much closer to my age, people who can really understand and empathize with the stages of life that I have experienced. Someone 20 years younger can never really share the same experiences.

I totally understand wanting to be close to your children, and missing them when you don't see them as much as you want to. But I highly suggest that it's time to find some new friends. Join some social groups and start from there.

Most children go through a phase of separation from their parents. They do this in order to discover who they are as individuals, and to learn to stand on their own. For the majority of kids in this country, this happens in their teens. If they don't do it in their teens, they usually do it at a later date. After they have had their period of separation, which can be a few years, the relationship usually becomes close again.

It sounds like your daughter has not gone through this period of independence from you before, and she is doing it now. Allow her to have her time of independence, and focus on finding new friends. She will always be your beloved daughter, and you will always be her mom.

Well, you can start by not sending her letters like that. If my mother told me I had a cold heart like my father, I'd take that as a sign she shouldn't be around my children. She has a life. She does include you in it. You need a life of your own so you add to hers, instead of being a burden.

It sounds like your mother was sub-par and you over compensated and now that she has a life of her own, you don't know how to cope. I think your gauge on "normal" is skewed and you should seek counseling to figure out why you react this way to people in your life. Your abandonment and childhood issues are not her issues. Don't make her carry your baggage. Don't make your grandkids carry your baggage. Take care of your own issues and maybe you'll see the change you seek, or learn to appreciate what you have.

ETA: Your daughter sees it the same way. She is the healthy one. You need to stop pushing her around and punishing her for your childhood and your own issues. You can ask for her help for someone but you cannot obligate anyone. She is a grown adult. The problem was you didn't seem to understand she had the choice to say no.

To offer counseling with you is huge - but only if you are really willing to listen and see your side of the problem. She's more generous than I would be. The problem here is YOU and until and unless you see your part and own your actions, nothing will change. YOU are responsible for YOU. She is not responsible for fixing you. You will lose what you have if you don't change.

By reading the email letters, I now see a glimpse of both sides of the relationship you have with your daughter.

Your note to her was not only manipulative but overly dramatic too. (Were you really not going to talk to your daughter ever again because she wouldn't do a favor for your friend?). You sound like you are a very angry and bitter person and instead of sticking on topic, you attacked her as a person, you recounted the hurt you felt in your own life from your upbringing and your failed relationship with her father. These things were totally out of your daughter's control and should have had no bearing on the issue at hand. You are lucky your daughter wants to try to resolve this and I think counseling is a fabulous idea. In the mean time, I think you should get a hobby and make new friends. Putting so much pressure on your only daughter is really not fair to her and I believe will hurt both of you in the long run. I also think you should tell your daughter you are so sorry for the things you said in the email and that you were way out of line. Promise her that you are going to work on yourself to resolve your issues with the past and will no longer hold her responsible for the sins of her father, your mother and brother.

I wish you much happiness in your future. Although I believe you love your daughter very much you have a funny way of showing it. It would be really sad for you and your daughter if you went too far and pushed your daughter away for good.

You need to apologize. You were wrong to be so harsh in that email. Your daughter now feels like she cannot trust you and in order to protect herself she needs to distance herself from you. She is a busy person and did not do your friend a favor. This is not the end of the world. Yet you write you were never going to talk to her again. I mean, come on, are you always this over the top dramatic? To threaten to cut your daughter out of your life is wrong and shows that you need therapy to learn different coping methods when things do not go your way. Then the rest of your letter you criticize her and are trying to lay on a guilt trip. I personally would pull away too. Please go get therapy to learn a better way to handle it when things do not go your way with your daughter. You did not do the right thing. Apologize sincerely to your daughter for your behavior and realize that it will take time for her to feel like she can trust you again.

She's really busy working and taking care of her own family. She sounds very responsible and loving so you can give yourself a pat on the back for raising her well.

What do you do to fill your days? You need to find things that you like to do and stop depending on your daughter to fill that void. All my kids are grown and gone. I hear from 1 every couple weeks, 1 comes to dinner once a week, 1 calls or texts every day sometimes a few times a day, and the last one I see 4 or 5 times a week because I babysit her children part time. I did a good job raising them so they are independent adults able to make their own way in the world. They aren't there to entertain me. I have my own interests.

I didn't read your what happened beyond the first sentence of the email you sent your daughter. Here is my two cents worth.

After having kids, my life changed dramatically. There are so many more responsibilities. There are so many little things that need to be taken care of like finding library books and signing papers from school. There are bigger responsibilities like juggling things with in-laws.

My parents live 1000 miles away. We do FaceTime with them for about an hour every Sunday. We sometimes talk or text or email during the week. My parents realize that with two school aged kids, their schedules, my work schedule and other responsibilities, and my husband's work schedule and activities we are busy people. They respect that. My MIL (and single SIL) lives half a mile away. She doesn't respect that. We do not have a good relationship partly because she is suffocating. My kids have even commented on how we rarely get to do things just the four of us. My husband even gets irritated with his mom if she calls too often during the day.

Give your daughter space for her family. It doesn't mean she is any less a part of your family. You can still have a close relationship. But, it you don't respect the time with her family you will lose that closeness. Whether you like it or not, her husband and kids will come first for her now. That's just the way life is. You can see it as a negative or be happy for all the ways she's been blessed.

From the perspective of a daughter in a similar situation. My suggestion would be to ask to set up a 'lunch date' or something of that nature with just your daughter. I would then tell your daughter most of what you have shared.
If you truly want a relationship though, I would not, under any circumstances, bring up how much you have sacrificed. (Your daughter should already knows that you sacrificed and it will not bring about anything positive.)

You have a lot more contact than most of the people I know. Texting a few times a day, speaking twice a week and visiting twice a month if actually quite a bit of contact for someone who works full time and has three children.

As for becoming closer, you can always mention to your daughter in a friendly non-guilt-trippy way that you would like to see more of her and the children. Then you could suggest possibly that you keep the kids every second Saturday and every fourth Sunday you meet for coffee or lunch. Don't bring up the fact that you have sacrificed for her...of course you have. That's what parents do. It is part of raising our children. She has her own kids so likely she gets it.

I really think if you want to have a relationship you need to do a couple of things. One is that you (uh gulp hard to do) say you are sorry and really mean it. There might be some things you still believe, but basically let her know you are sorry and that you want to have this relationship back. Or write it and make sure she did read it,but people can say they didn't get the letter.
Next stop right now comparing her to her father. You apparently broke up with father because of negative traits so you are sending her the same message, despite you claiming you want to be with her the statement is saying I didnt like his negative behavior ('cold') etc. so our relationship was severed. Therefore you are similar (daughter) and if you do same thing you are living tediously on the edge that I may pull my love from you at any time. It's Emotional blackmail. So, she is going to abandon you first? Right?
She would probably love a close relationship with you, but a husband and three kids take up a lot of time.I had two and there is so much going on. I have an adult child at home and work full time. I only have weekends and cannot spend time on phones or even text at times. If you can babysit, despite the hour away distance why not offer some solutions for that. Does she need babysitters? how about overnight? If you are free from mortgages (??) find an apartment closer?
And of course you miss your daughter. I miss my other son that lives far away. But I know he is busy ( no kids) and sometimes in life off and on we give more than others.And then the tables turn and they call back and forth.
What you need is a very filling life of your own.You need to keep your love there for your daughter but start finding friends to fill your emotional void. Activities other than work -hello? parasailing, fishing, bowling, writing, knitting, volunteer work with animals, etc. and get a church who has a support group/network where you will find yourself so busy a quick text to your daughter might not make it into your day until you get home.
I thought my heart would break when my son moved away after six long years in the service. And whenever I feel the need to write a letter like the one you did, I might because it is truly cathartic,but never, ever mail it.
Good luck!

Your daughter gave you the answer. Go to therapy. She is willing to go with you, or separately. That is what you should do.

It is very normal for a married woman with kids to be busy with her life. I suggest you also take her advice to find some hobbies or things that would keep you busier than you are. Many community colleges have non-credit courses you can take. You could volunteer at Church or an animal shelter, or a hospital or nursing home. Apply for a small part time job at a store, or the library.

Best wishes!

Sad for you but 2x a month is good when she works fT and u r an hour away. Can u see her alone for spa day? Otherwise get busy yourself.

I understand how you feel. It's one of those things. Can I suggest that you could have some time now to do things you enjoy? Not with her or her kids?

Join the Y and go to exercise class. They have water exercise and class in a room with exercise and more.

RSVP is always looking for volunteers for their multiple programs and boards. If you have any home building/decorating/painting/etc...join the work group for Habitat for Humanity, find some groups you can be part of like senior center activities. I'm 56 and have a blast doing stuff with old people. Seriously old people, like 85-95. I bet half the YMCA silver swim exercise class is over 85 that I go to. I love them! They have such awesome stories to tell. They inspire me to work harder and to spend more time trying to do healthier things.

Life is waiting out there for you to come find it. Your daughter has her own life now and she is out there doing this for herself. She loves you and would love to hear stories about your adventures too.

This is really kinda how it's supposed to be. She grows up, starts a life of her own. Sounds like you did a great job. Now it's your turn for YOUR life. Find something you like and do it. You said you text a couple of times per day - that's a lot of communication. Her life has changed so of course your relationship has changed as well. Acceptance is the name of this game!