Is My Husband Being Insensitive While I Am Pregnant?

I think you're being oversensitive. If I had that same interaction with my husband (said I'd call if he was needed) and I never called - he would just take that to mean all was well on the home front. He did come straight home to see if help was needed. My only issue would be that once he was home and saw no one else was there - that would have been a good time to run those errands that he skipped ;-)

Hi N.,

It sounds like a textbook example of miscommunication. He didn't hear back from you, he did try to text you, and then decided to just stay put. Confusing, huh?

It could be that you are being sensitive, and it's understandable. When I was pregnant, there was an evening that my husband was stuck in traffic and was very late coming home. (This was before we had cellphones.) I was going into "he's dead and I'm going to have to raise this child alone" mode when he finally came home, and boy! he was greeted by one crazy lady! You are not alone.:)

I think the fact that he came home to see if he needed to take the kids to the function instead of just going straight to run errands when he didn't hear from you is actually really sensitive of him. When he didn't hear from you he likely assumed you were fine...and maybe just took a couple of hours to chill alone. All parents need to do that when the opportunity arises, dads as well as moms (although moms deserve it just a little bit more :). I wouldn't think another minute about it.

Your hormonal- he got confused. Let it go and enjoy your pregnancy :) Just a simple miscommunication.

M

You're being sensitive.

He probably thought, "Well I haven't heard from her and she's 7 months pregnant so the right thing to do is to come home and see what she needs."

Had he come to the school what difference would that have made? Would you have left and let him take over?

Let it go...he's absolutely being a caring husband. He came home, he ditched his errands because he was unsure of the plans and, instead of fulfilling his selfish needs he made himself available for you.

Please let it go. Your husband did come home because you asked him to , he did text you ......... you forgot to call him , you didn't respond to this sms . You are pregnant, tired and sad your husband didn't do things exactly as you expected him to. It's miscommunication, just let it go!

i think you are being pregnant!
you got busy, he got busy. you didn't call, nor did he. he texted you, you forgot your phone. there's just not a case of insensitivity here. this is just no fault snit happens.
kiss your dh and move on.
:) khairete
S.

I say whether he's being insensitive or you're being too sensitive is irrelevant. Chalk it up to both not following up...give hugs and kisses and enjoy your weekend....

Sorry to pile on, but yeah. You are being a little overly sensitive. He came home, even though YOU said you would call him back to let him know if he needed to. You didn't follow through. He did. When he got there, he probably just assumed (since you weren't there) that you were feeling better and had gone ahead and taken the kids and just forgot to call him. Why should he drive up to the school? Are you upset that he didn't drive up there to make sure you made it to school? (When you didn't answer the text he sent you?) He probably assumed you left it in the car (pregnancy forgetfulness-- I mean, you did forget to call him like you said you would) or that you were busy with the kids' function and couldn't, or didn't notice it. Lots of people turn their phones OFF at school functions as a courtesy to others.

Just let it go. Be grateful that he isn't upset with YOU. He tried to do what he thought you wanted. You should probably apologize to him for neglecting to let him know what was going on.

Neither of you called. You to say you were feeling better and he could have called to check on you....I think you are being a bit pregnant! Let it go.

OH, I wish that were the type of problem my husband and I have!

It all worked out fine, and your hormones are getting the better of you (I've been there 3 times, too) You'll feel lots better if you let it go, or even better, say, "sorry about our mix up tonight" and give him a kiss.

No use crying over spilt milk!

One of the more common problems I have is thinking somebody's supposed to call me back, but meanwhile they are thinking I was going to call them back first. I imagine this is common with other busy people as well – we think we heard something different than the other person heard.

Guys don't understand the stresses and weariness of being pregnant. You can tell them a milliion times, but they're not going to be able to really relate. Can any of us relate to a physical difficulty that we haven't experienced? Now that I'm getting officially "old," I can tell you that I never really "got" the aches and exhaustion of aging before.

It does sound like your husband changed his plans a bit and tried to connect with you, and he wasn't able to reach you because your cell was in the car. He's not a mind-reader. I'd thank him for trying to be helpful, and let it go.

He sounds like a normal guy to me. They are not mind readers. Keep your cell with you next time or contact him if you're in doubt. Yes, it'd be great if he'd checked on you further but I don't know any guy who would've done that after a day at work or even without that. They have no idea what it is like to be pregnant.

It's just good old mis-communication rearing up I think. He thought he was being thoughtful coming straight home since he didn't hear from you and you thought bc he didn't call you he assumed you didn't need his help. You both could have picked up a phone so I would just chalk it up to one of those things. Everyone is under stress with a new family member coming and you are growing and starting the intense emotional prep for being care giver to a new baby. Hang in there, I really think if you can both just let it go, it will be best. I am 4wks with our third so I may be on in a few months with some of this stuff myself!! Hang in there :D

You are tired and he's not a soap opera husband, lol. None of them are :)

Sorry...I vote for oversensitive. Granted, he should have called...but he did make the effort to come home to see if you needed help. It might not have been the ideal move on his part, but it sounds like he made an effort. Now...had you called and told him you were very ill and needed to get to a hospital or doc...totally different story. Good luck with your last months of preg!

I think it's the hormones. He should have run out to do those errand though when he saw you weren't home. He probably figured you felt better when he didn't hear from you.

He is a normal guy! haha I say it was nice of him to come home. They just don`t "think" Like women do.

Lost communication, misunderstood...I'd say you are 7 mos pregant and won't be normal until your baby is about two years old.
That does not mean you will have PPD. It means it takes a very different energy to make and nurture a baby than it does to do almost anything else. And no one is super mom.
You husband is not a woman and cannot figure out how to go the extra mile. That's why tribal women and village women took care of one another.

I'd say you're a little too sensitive. Women are intuitive by nature. They think through situations, read into things, try to "feel out" the emotions of a situation, etc... Men are cut and dry. He came home and you were gone with the kids, so you must be fine. You didn't call to say you were not feeling well, and lets face it, us women don't just sit in misery, we call and text until we're "heard". So based on the pattern of how women act, it would not unreasonable for him to draw the conclusion that you felt better and took the kids to their program.

Of course when we're not feeling well, and especially if we're pregnant, that desire to be cared for is heightened. Acts of service are probably a love language for you, and having him do extra stuff to check on you would've meant the world to you and made you feel loved and secure. Don't expect him to do it naturally. However, if you can (in a non threatening and non condemning way) bring it up, how much you feel loved and cared for by him when he goes out of his way to check in on you, it might help him THINK to do it in the future. But lets be honest, its hard to hold it against someone who doesn't think to do that stuff on their own.

Best wishes!

He definatly should have called to check in and make sure of who was going to take the kids. Also he should give you slack for forgetting to call because you are busy, and not feeling too good.

N. I think you are being over sensative but that is to be expected when you are so pregnant! I say FORGET the text stuff or voice mail if you want to be sure you are BOTH on the same page. In other words first conversation this morning should have been, "Honey I don't feel well and need you to take the boys to their event AT ______PM---Love YOU!"

I also believe people use the I didn't check my messages or my cell wasn't charged blah blah blah, when they need to make flimsy excuses. Speak directly to each other.

Blessings.....