Is It Worth Pushing My Husband into Buying Another House.

Updated on April 27, 2012
S.T. asks from Kingwood, TX
20 answers

I have one more question for you kind peeps.

As I have said in (many!) other posts, I am beginning college full time in August, I will be commuting an hour, so will my husband. We have toyed with the idea of moving, but he really loves it right here where we live, so we have decided to stay here for now.
We live rent free in his parents little trailer, but it is so DANG SMALL!! 2 bedrooms and under 800 sq foot, my son and daughter have to share a room, and we have lived this way for alomst 6 years, I am wholly sick of it, the place is 40 years old, run down, and needs so much work to bring it up to any sort of standard - we are talking $1000's.
Anyway I did our budget, and we could buy a bigger trailer with 3 beds 2 baths for around $50000, looking at our monthly budget we would be able to afford it, but only just. I would have to work part time at my daughters school - which I do anyway, but I was going to drop that when I started school, but its only 12 hours a week, so I could probably fit it in. With me working and all our bills we would have $200 left over at the end of the month. Is it cutting it too fine? It would only be for two or three more years, but the thought of being cramped up for another 2 or 3 galls me so bad. My husband is of the mind we should make do for another 2-3 years in case he loses his job or something. I don't want to be selfish, but I REALLY want a bigger house!

What can I do next?

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I understand the feeling--we are cramped in 2 bedrooms with 2 kids too. But hold out or rent until you finish school and have the money.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from College Station on

If you moved closer to where you work and go to school, you would be saving a fortune in gas and time. Yes, you should push, but push with facts and numbers. Do the math on how much you will save per month both in gas money and time not wasted in cars.
Good Luck!

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B..

answers from Dallas on

It's NEVER a good idea to make a big purchase (especially, when that purchase is where you must live) when you are "just" making it. You shouldn't do this, sorry. Could you RENT a bigger place?

7 moms found this helpful
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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I guess I don't understand why you'd want to go from no rental costs to buying & being responsible for all costs associated with the dwelling... it doesn't make sense to me.

Why not rent a small house or apartment & get through college & then when you are making a decent wage because of all of your schooling, then buy the house? There is no guarantee of anything after you are done with school, so I wouldn't be buying anything just yet.

Also, just the fact that you mentioned "push" in your title, pretty much sums it up... You both have to be on board, no matter what.

4 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm going to assume that when you say $200 per month "after bills" that "bills" includes gas, lunches, groceries, HBA items, etc.
And even at that, $200/month leftover is not gonna save your bacon when the water tank, furnace, roof or car goes!
No WAY would I cut it that close.
Sorry--I know that's not what you want to hear. But that's my .02!

4 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with the other responders, wait and make do.

But in answer to your title question, anytime you push someone to do something there's bound to be resistance, either now or later. Is THAT worth it?

4 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Make do for another 2 -3 years before you make any major purchases.

Having only $200 left at month end will not repair your car if it breaks down, fix a washing machine, or pay for unexpected medical bills - heck, my sons monthly medications are over $100 per month - and those were unexpected when they started. It will allow you absolutely no luxuries - no dinners out, no movies, no new clothing for the kids, no special presents for birthdays - and NO SAVINGS account.

I bought a house in 2007 - I could afford it, though my budget was tight. I got a raise, I saved and spent some, then I lost my job. I am now working again making 40% less than I was - less than, even, when I bought the house. I am also working with a non-profit to try and get the bank to refinance the home or something to allow me to keep it. I bought too much house - I should have purchased something that was well below my budget. I should have made do for another 2-3 years.

Just wait please. You will finish school, your finances will improve and you will get your larger home. Give yourself time to save and plan.

4 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it is cutting it too close to only have $200 left over, sorry.

It is almost summer, anyway you could save up and buy a fence (if you don't have one) or a big play structure for the kids, so that way they have some outside play space that you feel comfortable letting them play in alone, like a good fenced outside area? Might make you feel like you have more room?

My only other advice is to buy some new bedding for your bed or some flowers or something that you would like, to brighten up your current space! Might make you feel better...and try to look on the bright-side, think of all the $ you can be saving towards your dream home by not paying rent now...save, save, save and then save another year or so after you graduate and get a good paying job and you guys should be set to move into something bigger and better!

~ I personally would never 'force' my husband into something like this, I am sure I *could* do it, I just wouldn't want to, too big of a financial decision for you both not to be on the same page and excited about, but that is just my opinion!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am friends with a family of 5 + large dog that live in a house less than 800 sq ft. My daughter and I live in 750 sq ft one-bedroom. I say, keep the financial security and make do for 2-3 more years. Can you build on a room? My brother did that when their third baby was born and they lived in a 2 bdroom trailer.

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Are you living ok on your current income? When you graduate your income will be bigger. Why not wait till you graduate then save up the "extra" income you are then making for several years before purchasing.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I will tell everyone who is considering going to school. Live on campus in married student housing. It is cheap, it is convenient, it is supported by many organizations like parents groups and activity committee's. There is always something going on and neighbors who love to meet new people.

I think it is important to realize living in a mobile home is not bad, it is even nice to do since everything is well planned and thought out. There are some out there that are nicer than some of my friends homes in town. I have seen some really nicer ones too.

I think telling the inlaws that you are going to live on campus during the week and perhaps come home on the weekends would be a great way to start the beginnings of cutting the aprons strings without hurting anyone's feelings. Hubby is comfortable because that is what he knows and is familiar with.

I also think you can find a mobile home, new even, for much less. We got ours and it was a year old, repossessed, and it was only $18K. Three bedrooms, 2 baths, 16X80. It is a good size for a family of 4.

You have some options. If you are getting financial aid and are going to be attending an actual college or university you can make a big change this summer. I would contact the school and find out if they have housing and how to apply. Even if you go and hubby stays at home you can take the kids and live through the week on campus, kids go to the nearby schools, and then go home on the weekends or arrange your classes in a way you can go home for an evening or two throughout the week too.

My friend did this one year. She took all her classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She went to her campus apartment on Monday evenings or early Tuesday morning. Then she went back home on Thursday evening. If she needed to do some extra studying she stayed an extra day or two and used the library. The next year her hubby decided to find a new job and he moved to the college place with her. The boys were so glad to have a new home and some new friends. They thrived in the college town, the schools were full of professors kids and teachers from the colleges. They had very high test scores and it was a very good situation for everyone.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

wait until you're out of school....save the $$ & you'll be able to afford even better!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Do you have six months combined (both you and hubby) saved up? Do you have at least a 5% downpayment and at least $5,000 for closing costs and moving costs saved up. If NO, then forget about buying a trailer.

You said you did a budget and could afford to have a mortgage. What would that amount be per month? Did you remember to include property taxes, property insurance, mortgage insurance? Let's say that amount is $800 a month. Start saving $775 a month faithly every month for at least 8 months. WHY? This will prove that you can afford it and it will give you some extra to put towards the downpayment.

No $200 left over a month is not cutting it too close, however, are you sure that you've covered all the additional cost of ownership into your budget - maintainence, any additional utilities or garbage removal, an emergency fund for repairs, etc. Also, do you have land that you can put the trailer on, or would you need to rent a lot, and is that included in the budget? Also, what are the ages of your kids and how will their financial needs change in the next few years. (This year I'm spending $4,000 on field trips and activities)

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Why not rent an apartment for those 2-3 years instead of living with his parents in a tiny trailer? You could rent close to your school and work.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

A trailer isn't a house, S.. I have to tell you that trailers lose their value, like cars. They depreciate, not appreciate. (Which means they go down in value, not up in value.)

If you want to own, buy a stick built house instead. Otherwise, you are just dumping your money. If you have to be in a trailer because there's nothing else that's affordable, continue to rent until you finish school and go get a better job elsewhere.

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M.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

First of all, I think making a purchase would be unwise in your current position. IF the cost of renting a place closer to your jobs outweighs the cost of commuting THEN I think renting is smart. Otherwise, I would say stay put until you finish school.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Wait til you graduate and have a bigger income.

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N.H.

answers from Peoria on

OMy do we ever have the same problem! We've been living in a TINY tiny apt (the landlady's closed in back porch so you can imagine how small!) for the past 3 yrs, 1 BR 1Bath. Yes enough space for a couple but all of our stuff is still in boxes and in storage (getting unused & ruined). We moved from a larger 2BR 1BA apt (but stuff still in boxes & in storage) in another town but due to job issues, we moved. We lived there for 4 yrs before this new location. Long story short, the plan was when we moved the first time, we'd buy land & put my mobile home on it...it was in a trailer park out of town at the time, but that never happened. So we were paying rent PLUS house payment but despite that, husband still wouldn't budge. Each time I found some land, he didn't like it. It wasn't going to cost hardly anything to move the mobile home either, I had that covered but he just wouldn't hear of it. Ended up finally selling my mobile home, then we moved here. Been here for 3 yrs now & I am SICK of this place. It's relatively clean but we're in SO dire need of a home of our own. On top of that, we have a really bad flea infestation we can't seem to get rid of, plus all the scorpions that get in a lot of the time & other bugs & critters, just at my wits end. We pay rent that includes all utilities but that's just throwing money away, we can definitely afford a home, I even found us THE PERFECT home, small plot of land, WAY cheap but very nice...I meant the PERFECT place but oh hubby wouldn't hear of it. He basically wrinkled his nose up at it! So now that house has sold, of course, & we're still in the tiny rinky-dink apt. He drives me crazy w/his cheap ways. Every time I mention to him about a place he's blase about it or just says "Well if I had the money, I'd jump on it" w/fake enthusiasm. We HAVE the money, he just doesn't wanna move, he'd rather spend his extra money on lottery tickets, thinking we're gonna win "the big one". He thinks we're doing fine here but at the same time, saying "when we have our own place...blah blah blah..." Ok, when is that gonna be exactly? He's says he's afraid he'll lose his job if we get our own place. I've tried to tell him that's not gonna be a problem b/c he can get a job doing just about anything should that happen but he won't hear of it. He doesn't think about anyone else but how convenient it is to be here for himself, doesn't think of what's best for 'our' situation...what 'our' needs are & what would make 'me' happy. We can't invite anyone over b/c there is no place to entertain or have guests over, even just to visit. It's a complete embarrassment. The LR area & BR are piled up w/boxes & stuff all over the place, it's just really rediculous that my husband is being so selfish. I've tried to get a second job to try & get us ahead somewhat but hadn't had any luck yet. Does your husband's income figure into the $200 leftover or is that just from what you'll have? You may be able to find a repossessed mobile home or even a manufactured home (which are built a lot stronger & are more like a 'real' house) for less. Mine was a mobile home but was only $29k & it was brand new. I think if you looked around, you can find one that's an even better price. I had a VERY spacious 2BR, 2BA mobile home. The spare room was big enough for 2 beds, comfortably so perhaps you may keep that in mind as well. My payment w/insurance was a little less than $300 but that was just mine. I've even seen some that were bricked-in or rocked-in on the outside! Just b/c it's a "mobile home" or a "manufactured home" doesn't mean it hasta be yucky. You may hafta shop around for the best prices & take in consideration interest & insurance w/your house payment so I'm not sure if you had included that already in your budget plan on the $50k or not but again, you can find a reasonably priced mobile or manufactured home, just do a little shopping around, even look in the papers or craigslist or online, shop in town or out of town. Most dealers will deliver & set up for you once you purchase. Have you presented your budget plan to your husband? Maybe showing him on paper will help?? Maybe you should just take the initiative & first talk to your parents & let them know of your plans & maybe they can help you move the old one out & get the new one moved in. I've occasionally seen on Craigslist & signs posted around, people that buy trailers or homes of any condition or even those that will move it for you to get rid of it. Perhaps w/you just taking the initiative will get what you need. Sometimes waiting on the husband to agree will get you nowhere b/c you'll still be in the same situation several years from now. Some men are like that...once they've "settled", they're settled & nothing will move them. If you go ahead & do it anyway, he'll have no choice & will prob be upset at first but will prob thank you later in realizing you were right. I just wished I had been able to do that w/the house I'd found. I really kick myself now I didn't have the courage to do that & get the house anyway & tell him "we're moving!". Hope this helps, good luck!!

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

Truly, I would wait it out another 2-3 years.Two years will go extremely fast, but it will be VERY TELLING what is going to happen in the economy. If you read then I am sure you have heard reports from analysts that say that the dollar is losing its value. That is indeed true. Most people call it "inflation" but it is, in fact, the dollar being debauched and losing its purchasing power. I have read many , many financial books, and historical books on depressions/hyperinflations and I do absolutely beleive that we are headed for much worse times. Unemployment can and will increase, and inflation WILL skyrocket. When Weymar Germany had 'quantitive easing' in the 1920's (just like we have been doing for 3 years) The increase of the money supply into the system caused their food costs to skyrocket,..... butter , for example, was up 33x....can you imagine paying 33 times the amount you now pay for butter? And that was before the 'hyper' inflation hit. People were eventually bringing wheelbarrows full of money to purchase a loaf a bread. All of the old adages about financial planning, fixing homes to increase home values, retirement saving, etc...go out the window when a country's fiat money system is about to blow apart.

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R.M.

answers from Houston on

Congratulations on your decision to go to college full time. I made that decision as an adult. A college education will change your life forever, in great ways. It is a gift to you and to your family.

While it is a great and brave decision to go to college, the realities of college life will bring on stressors that you can't imagine. If you can go to college without working even part time, at least the first two semesters, I highly recommend that. The study time required will amaze you. Being pulled between classes and family will be enough stress without adding work in. And having just $200 left at the end of the month will give you an underlying additional stress.

I know what it's like to live in a house that is just too small, but I think that if you make this sacrifice now you will be glad for it in the long run.

Again, congratulations on going (or going back) to college. I'm always very proud of women who make this decision.

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