Infertilty After One Child.

Updated on April 14, 2011
C.M. asks from Gold Bar, WA
14 answers

Hello all,
After two years of waiting for 'the perfect time' to have a child, (my husband's first, my second) and after three and a half years of trying, I have recently found out that I don't ovulate. I went on Clomid this past month and was very hopeful, but just found out from my Doctor that I did not ovulate this month and have to try again next month. Just wondering if there is anyone out there who can relate? I had pretty much given up on the idea when my Doctor put me on Clomid and while trying very hard not to, I got my hopes up and am feeling very frustrated! I would love to hear from anyone who's experienced the frustration of not being able to do what seems so simple for some peopel!

Thanks,

C.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

Three cycles of Clomid did nothing for me, but Metformin worked. I don't know if you are not ovulating because of not having periods due to PCOS or some other condition. If so, I'd google it and look into it. If not, take heart. I was there, and it does suck. The emotions are very raw. There's a book out there called Inconceivable. It's about secondary infertility. Haven't read it yet, but it's on my list. Good luck and keep us posted!

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B.B.

answers from Portland on

I am at almost 3 years of "trying" to get pregnant. I had no trouble with my first. I tried Clomid 1 1/2 yrs ago and I didn't do well with it, it gave me horrible mood swings. My doctor recently explained how insulin resistance can cause our bodies to not ovulate. He said that taking Metformin and Clomid together can cause ovulation and he also said that a big increase in physical exercise can help too. Since I didn't do well on the Clomid, I have been doing the exercise. I have had regular cycles for 4 months and so I am hoping that means I am ovulating...we'll see.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Bellingham on

I agree with the ladies who said not to obsess over it, be glad for the one you have. My only other suggestion is to maybe try and hang out with babies (if you can do it without obsessing over it) or pregnant ladies. So many stories of people getting pregnant after adopting (a combo of not trying and hanging around babies).

I started hormonal birth control at a young age (I'd only been menstruating a short time - a late bloomer) and when I stopped having periods I decided to quit the hormones. I was annovulatory for years and doctors couldn't tell me why. They never implicated the birth control but I was suspicious. Eventually I concluded I didn't think I'd ever have children and accepted the fact. After holding a friends baby for an hour during a Christmas party, whammo, I ovulated and conceived without knowing it. Since I didn't have periods very often it took me a while before I realized what was going on! I agree with trying to eat well and exercise are huge. I got healthier after having my first baby and my cycles became normal... Good luck to you.

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J.W.

answers from Portland on

Sorry to hear you're having trouble, and YES, I understand how frustrating it is when others get pregnant so easily and you can't! I had to take Clomid after my first pregnancy to get pregnant again (along with progesterone to make me bleed first...my body doesn't do any of it naturally anymore although I didn't have any problems the first time), but it worked. I had to take it a few months before it worked, but it did. Don't give up without giving it time and trying a few more times/months, at least.

Good luck with it all! I hope it all works out well for you!

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

A close friend of mine experienced this as well. She and her husband tried for 11 years to have children. Then she went on Clomid, and she had no success there. She ended up doing in-vitro fertilization and had her first child. When her first was two, my friend got pregnant without any medical help (in fact, without even trying). The doctor told her that sometimes your body just has to have some help to get started and can take over from there. I know how painful it is (having frequently been her shoulder to cry on) to be frustrated month after month, and I also know IVF isn't an option for everyone (and may not even be necessary for you; you may just need a little more time), but there is hope and enough statistics are out there to say, hang in there! Best of luck to you!

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A.V.

answers from Seattle on

I have also experienced infertility after one child. It has been pretty heartbreaking. It is a struggle to see how easy it is for some. I try to focus on how lucky I am to have one child when many people struggle just for that.Hang in there.

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

C.,

I am so sorry you're having to go through this. I experienced a 4 year difficulty in conceiving my 2nd child. I could get pregnant, but at least 3 pregnancies (that I know of for sure) ended in miscarriage. I went on Clomid also, and that proved that I was ovulating, but bloodwork by the fertility specialist showed that I had a clotting disorder which affected my pregnancies. Basically my body wanted to get rid of the fetus. I had to go on heparin shots twice a day prior to conceiving, for the duration of my son's pregancy, and 6 weeks after his birth. Not a fun way to spend your pregnancy, but I have a healthy, happy son, so I am grateful for my sacrifice.

Give the Clomid another chance, as frustrating as it is. We tried for 3 months with me on the Clomid before finally agreeing to try the IUI procedure. I became pregnant with my son immediately. Look into further options after you give the Clomid another month. It stinks to feel incapable of doing what are bodies are "supposed" to do naturally. I will pray for you for strength and patience. Good luck and keep your chin up!

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M.C.

answers from Bellingham on

Hi C.,

I know what you are feeling. It took me 10 years to even get pregnant because I had a problem ovulating and had low hormones so I would not stay pregnant if I actually got pregnant. I finally got pregnant after I had decided that I was not going to get pregnant and quit worrying about it. I almost lost her, but I now have one beautiful little girl that is the light of my life.

I have tried to get preganant again and it was a little easier to get pregnant the second time but now I lost two pregancies within a years time. One in the first trimester and one in the second. I went throught major depression wondering why I could not have children when other people had them that did not even want them at a drop of the hat.

Now, I have decided to just enjoy my child and be grateful for her. I have started focusing on her and my husband and things that I want to do that I cant do with a little one. I am still sad at times but I am much better.

I guess what I am trying to say is the more you worry, the harder it will be for you to get pregant start focusing on something else and you will either get pregnant or you will not care anymore.

Hope this helps. God Bless!

I tried to have one more

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S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

With our first baby we got pregnant after 2 months of trying. With our second we got pregnant the first month. We are now at month 16 of trying for a third. I have my second appointment for more testing with my Ob in two weeks. At my first appointment back in January he wanted to put me on a medication (it wasn't Clomid) to help me ovulate more regularly, but I declined and wanted to keep trying naturally for a few more months, but after 3 more months it's pretty obvious we need help. It sucks, it really sucks. Mostly because we got pregnant so easily with our first two children.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My sister was on birth control for a long time and when they finally started trying, they were unable to because she didn't ovulate. It took a while, but she is now about 15 weeks along with their baby. Clomid was one of the medications she was on, and they also used IUI.

Another friend discovered that, after 2 healthy children, she developed a clotting disorder and was unable to carry a child to term until that was diagnosed and treated.

You aren't alone, but there are treatments for many issues. I hope the Clomid does the trick for you.

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M.P.

answers from Provo on

I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about infertility, but I do know that you can't give up!!!!!!!! It's hard work, lots of emotions, and so much waiting, but if you give up now, what if next month is THE month?? Keep your hopes up and you have tons of support here and i'm sure with your family. There also has to be a infertility support group somewhere near you, go to them! DON'T GIVE UP!!!! BE HAPPY!!!

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H.G.

answers from Portland on

Change your diet. Go all organic & raw as much as possible, drink lots of water, take vitamins & minerals. Do some research, this helps a lot of people with just about every kind of health problem, especially infertility.

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A.T.

answers from Medford on

Hello! I'm A. and I went through the same thing you are going through, except mine was I have one working tube instead of two and my husband had "slow swimmers" to boot. It seems as though after I had my daughter who was just a little 2 pounder (she was 3 months early) we tried about 2 years later and tried and tried some more. We both became frustrated and decided if it's in the cards for us to have one healthy (now 18 and a half year old) then so be it. Then out of nowhere I went to the doctors for something unrelated and she comes in and says I hope this is good news for you but your pregnant! my daughter was 13 when my son Aidan was born (who is now 7) So...I guess my advice would be take the pressure off for a while and just see what happens. I had been through the whole fertility drug thing too with no outcome, not sayin that it won't happen for your family but this is how it turned out for us! I totally understand your frustrations, and stress does not help the getting pregnant part either! If you want to talk...you can email ____@____.com Take Care! A. T.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

My SIL found out after several years of trying that she was also not ovulating. They tried several things, including IVF, and all were unsuccessful. After I think a total of about 6 years (?) they adopted boy/girl siblings. And then promptly got pregnant the old fashioned way. :) Their #3 child turns 3 years this summer.

Have you asked your doctor about what might contribute to you not ovulating? Are you underweight? Overweight? Not eating a good balanced diet? Exercising a lot? Stressing out (over the trying, or other things like $$ or the job market or family issues)?

Hang in there.

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