Ifamily Babysitting

She is not earning enough. Think about being trapped with a 3 year old at someone's house all day...and only earn 20 bucks.

Sometimes is makes sense to hire a company that gets paid for many kids. People pay a daycare less than a personal nanny because the daycare has money from many families. Personal nannies are nice if you can afford it.

Yeah, there's more than money going on here. You think you're doing her a favor, but actually she's doing you one. There's a lot more than money going on in this situation. It's clear, from all the caps and exclamation points you use, there's a lot of resentment and condescension wrapped up in it. Do her a real favor and let her go so she can use her time more productively.

She wants to quit.
I think she'd still want to quit even if you did pay her more.
The point is - she doesn't want to work.
So let her quit.
Find child care elsewhere.

What do you drive? A tank? 14 miles per gallon?

So you pay her 400 a month, which really is dirt cheap for what she does. You have this crazy plan that is 425. How much gas would you use collecting your kids from three different places, how much time.

It isn't her fault your husband doesn't make much! 700 a month is still less than a third of his income. Stop taking advantage of your sister and pay her a living wage! You are paying her just over 2 dollars an hour and whining about your husband not getting paid much.

Another thing you may have missed, you pick her up and bring her to your house so she is at your home when the kids get off the bus. You are doing that for yourself, not for her, so that shouldn't factor in at all.

After reading your what happened, yes, you are the only one this is not making sense to! You want to be paid a living wage and you want your husband to as well but you won't pay her a living wage. You should be ashamed that you don't get this.

Like Canuck said, would you work all day for 20 dollars?

So you changed your what happened. If you have your mind made up why did you post this? So we would say your sister is wrong for not wanting to work for two dollars an hour? That isn't going to happen.

Wow, $20/ day? Would you be willing to stay in someone's home, no car, and watch a child all day?

That's just insane in my mind....

Your SIL can do much better finding a job closer to her home than being robbed blind by family.

Your 3 yo also needs interaction with other children in that age group, be challenged , and get some form of preschool lessons.

I feel sorry for your SIL and that she thinks it's ok to make $20 a day.

My 19 yr old college student averages $12-$15 an hour babysitting . She makes about $100 fir working 1 weekend night.

Would you do any job that paid $20 a day?

I think that your sister is being underpaid. I don't know any babysitters who would work for $20 day. You don't say what time you pick her up, but I imagine it has to be early so you can drop her off and still get to work on time. So if you picked her up at 8 and then dropped her off at 6 that is a 10 hour day or a 9 hour day if you take off the transportation time. So at 9 hours and $20, that works out to $2.22 hour. It is convenient to have someone in your home to watch your children so you don't have to run all over town collecting them. You will have to evaluate whether or not having your husband work (at $12) is worth it. Good luck!

I think you are warring with two separate options here.
#1. You need daycare/after school care for your children, & need to make a decision that is affordable for your family.
#2. You have an opportunity to engage a family member who is currently not working to provide the childcare for you, at an inconvenience to you.

If you look at this strictly by the numbers, the B/G club, daycare & babysitter makes the most sense financially. $425/mo vs. what you are currently paying, which is $20/day for 20 weekdays per month (some months have 1-3 more), plus the time & gas expense to bring your sister to & from your home.

From your SWH, I am suspecting that one of the issues clouding your opinion of having your sister watch the children is that you feel you are doing her a favor by paying her, & she should be grateful for the opportunity. Additionally, the time, inconvenience & gas expenditure appears to be something you are taking into consideration when factoring the cost to you & your husband.

However, what you & your husband need to do is decide which is more important to you: Having family watch your children, regardless of the inconvenience & cost to you both, or having reliable childcare for your family that is affordable and does not incur additional cost or time inconveniences.

In reality, childcare is not cheap. And for 3 children, often times the SAHP puts most or all of their paycheck towards the childcare, in order to hold a job that might bring health insurance, etc.

I think most babysitters make more per hour, due to the demand for babysitting coming during premium hours - evenings & weekends. But even daycare is not terribly affordable, when you are looking for one person to watch only your children. This is why daycare centers can charge less - there are higher ratios of children to staff.

As to whether or not your sister should accept what you & your husband can afford to pay, or not watch your children at all - well, that is certainly her choice to make, not yours. Quite possibly, she would be able to make as much money working part-time hours somewhere close to home. You are paying approximately $400/month - she could make the same amount of money working 10 hours a week for $10/hour.

For as outrageous as it seems that your sister is not grateful for what you are paying her without asking for an increase, it may be equally as outrageous to her that you aren't willing to pay her minimum wage on the hours she does work for you. I notice in your post, you list how much your husband makes per hour. It seems like you are making a comparison - he only makes $XX, therefore, it should be acceptable to only pay $X. However, most (if not all) services do not charge based on how much income the person in need makes.

My best advice to you is: Make a decision you can live with, that works best for your family, & leave the judgement on the table. She is your sister - and if the best way to maintain your relationship is to look for childcare elsewhere, then do so. If the best way to find affordable childcare is to look elsewhere, then do so.

Here's hoping you can make peace with the decision before you, & maintain a healthy relationship with your sister. T.

You are paying her $20 a day to watch 1 kid and 3 by the end of the day? Are you kidding me?
That's $2 an hour.
You're not paying her enough. You don't get to count gas. If you were going to a daycare you wouldn't tell them that you are taking out the cost of gas!!
You are taking advantage of your family member. If you can do it a different way and pay less money than do so.
While I was nanny-ing I was paid $9 an hour for one kid. During the summer it was $10. I was making about $1200 a month. THAT is what your nanny is worth.
L.

Simply put...this arrangement is not working out well for anyone. Stop using your sister and pay a regular daycare...problem solved.

Well, if your sister is watching your kids she can't look for another job. She's probably realizing that even working those hours at McDonald's will bring in more income than what she's getting right now.

I pay $235/week for my two boys. The oldest is in aftercare, only, and the youngest is full-time. We do have to pay an extra $15/day for my oldest on days there's no school but we both have to work.

I'm having trouble believing your figures. Are you sure those aren't weekly numbers?

Maybe it's not realistic for both of you to work full-time, but I think you are being very unrealistic about how much childcare should cost.

Did you really mean $20 a day or was that a typo? I have never heard of such a thing.

Yes, seriously. You do realize that $20 a day is way below minimum wage? When I was babysitting as a teen I would get $20 for an evening of sitting, for 3 to 4 hours of work and that was a long time ago.

If anyone is doing anyone a favor, your sister is doing you a favor by agreeing to babysit for you for so little.

If anything, your sister is the one who should be right. Your kids are worth more than $20 a day. If you aren't satisfied, find another arrangement. If you don't like our answers, don't ask the question.

$20 a day???? We pay our nanny that per hour!! Remember when your child is sick, no daycare... Personal nanny saves a lot of missed work. I echo what some other people have said... If another arrangement makes more financial sense, go for it. But certainly she is not asking for too much!!

Eta: Yeah. Seriously. Watching a 3 year old all day is just worth an absolute amount of money. It's not easy. And she can likely save $20 a day by being home and sewing or cooking etc. All her current hassle for $20?? That's what your husband was worth a day?... Tell him that.

At age 11 I got $5 per hour/per child. At that you would be paying her up to $15 an hour once all three where home.

You can get cheaper care, then get cheaper care if that's what matters to you. However, I feel that since this is family, it would be best to pay her better and keep things amicable. Ask her how much more would she like to be paid, then tell her how much you are really willing to pay, find a middle ground.

I think watching a 3 year old and then having all 3 kids for a few hours after school is worth more than $20 a day. In my opinion she is under paid. Also she is not just a day care. She is family. She loves your kids a lot more than a day care worker ever will. I work in a preschool and I LOVE the kids in my class. I am already getting sad because I will miss them over the summer break. And as much as I love those kids and would do anything for them, it's not even possible for me to love them as much as their family does. Your kids will not get the same love and care from a day care as your sister. You should pay her what she is worth and I think you should pay her at least $40 a day. For 3 kids, if you put ALL of them in a good day care, then it will be a lot more than $700 a month. I know Portland, I have lived there before. It's not one of the cheaper cities.

Don't use her. This won't end well.

My sister watched my kids for several years. We paid her fairly, but it got to the point where the family and business relationship no longer worked. We parted ways pretty roughly and I'll never do it again. I never expected her to watch my kids, but it worked for both of us for quite a few years. Either way, I don't know why you feel like it's your sisters obligation to watch your kids.

If you can get such a better deal with your other options, by all means, take them!! By yes, paying someone only $100 a week is underpaid. It's her TIME. Doesn't matter if it's 1 kid or 3, you're asking her to live on only making $400 a month, not fair.

And after reading your ETA - SERIOUSLY. Sometimes the hassle isn't worth the money, and in this case, it sounds like it really isn't worth the money to her. I don't blame her.

I can see where your sister is coming from. $20 a day is significantly under minimum wage and with all the extra driving, it doesn't really make sense for her to be the one watching them. Could you qualify for some type of childcare assistance? All of the cost you listed without your sister seem very reasonable for childcare and you would still be bringing in more money from your husband's job.

oh, this is the same person as the other question, isn't it?
you are WAY underpaying your sister. if you can't afford it, then you can't afford it. stiffing your sister (and making your gas bill her problem) isn't the answer.
khairete
S.

Well that's usually the whole point of family watching kids ..YOU GET TO SAVE MONEY …..dah……i have several friends who's families actually do it for free (since they are already stay at home ) What is your sister sacrificing ? Did she have a full time job before where she was making more ? I would advise you to find a inhome childcare in your area for your 3 year old ( u could easily find one for $400/month and get your school aged kids in after school care . I was watching friends 3 y o and 5 year old after school, for $25/week ……yes but that';s what friends are for ……and with family , gosh it should not even be an issue (but that's just how I was raised )

Similar to what I said on your other post.

You are not paying her enough, but with the gas prices, you are spending too much. Your sister feels undervalued and you feel taken advantage of. This relationship is no longer working.

It's time to make other arrangements for your children. I would probably finish out the school year if it were my sister, so she has PLENTY of notice. Just be prepared. If another option comes along, she may have to leave YOU without much notice.

In Oklahoma a 3 year old pays $17 per day, including food. The school kids would pay $11 each per day. Your gas has no bearing on what you pay her. That's your choice to drive that far. Has nothing to do with her.

YOU CANNOT PAY A CHILD CARE PERSON MINIMUM WAGE!!! HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A LIVING PAYING SOMEONE MINIMUM WAGE OR HIGHER?????/

That is not a valid issue at all. Babysitters should not make more than highly trained professional workers who choose child care as a career and work towards degrees and continuing education.

So pay her a bit more or stop taking the kids there.

Your child is probably there 10-11 hours per day. What you're paying her isn't fair to her but it's fair to you. She is just babysitting and is still able to be at home and do what she wants.

I'd do child care in my own area to save the money to begin with.

Ask the school if they offer after school care. Ours is done by the Y and it's very reasonable. So have hubby pick the 2 kids from the after school care.

As for the 3 year old, find a child care facility that is good and that you like. Take her. If they take school kids have them pick up the other 2 also. It shouldn't be much more if any. I'd probably do the one program with the kids club. They are a lot of fun.

Just remember that you also have summer coming up. It's going to increase your child care a LOT.

I had a bit of a similar situation where I would pay my SIL to pick up my son from school and watch him for 30-90 minutes 4 days a week. It turned into a GIANT drama with her saying that she did everything for us and we did nothing for her (conveniently forgetting the many one-time things we do for her in favor of her four times a week actions). She was also not working at the time and we thought the money would be helpful to her.
Go with the alternative. We were so much happier once we went with professionals only, even with slightly higher costs in our situation. It took a while, but we repaired our relationship and I would not enter into a similar agreement again for fear of building up the same "favor debt" again. Don't mix business with family!