If You Could....

Updated on November 16, 2010
S.G. asks from Tecumseh, OK
24 answers

what have you done in your life, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently..what wish(s) would you make if you could change ANYTHING in your life...work, school, home, family, etc WHATEVER, besides more money.

here goes for me,

1. i would honestly make LESS money than i do now, because i was more careful about what i spent when working part time at wal-mart as a single mom, and lived within my means had no car payment and was able to pay off what little debt i did have better and faster, the more money i make the more i want to spend.
2. i would've lived a little, o ok, A LOT MORE before starting my family..gone places i want to go to, do things that are crazy, and have GREAT stories to tell my family other than...what i would do different to keep them from repeating. instead of trying to fit all the wild and crazy things in now...lol that would be opening and shutting down the club now lol
3. i would love my family more, spend more time with them, took every holiday gathering as my last with them, now my grandparents are old, and can't handle all my cousins and aunts and our kids in the house, so now they just do them and their kids and spouses (if any-no need to ask about that) unless someone is alone
4. i would have made more friends to keep me in check about what i was doing instead of judging cause i thought i was doing better.
5. just be a better person and listen to those that tried to warn me before taking that step into that hidden cavern cause the "grass LOOKED greener

one thing i WOULDN'T change is who i am and who my family is, whether they are a thorn in my side, or that pillow when i fall

HAVE FUN WITH THIS ONE!

this is my 10th year out of hs and since i've been looking back at my few accomplishments and looking at where my bad choice's have gotten me, love the responses!

1 mom found this helpful

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Featured Answers

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

1. I would have been better with my finances. I got into CRAZY debt.
2. I would have slept with less people. :(
3. I would have left the the FIRST time I got hit.

11 moms found this helpful

D.M.

answers from Denver on

1) I would have stood up to my MIL the FIRST time she said something awful to me (the night I met her). Who knows, maybe we'd be friends by now if she hadn't thought I'd make a good emotional punching bag (her brother and I are the short list for that).

2) I would have dated LESS before I met my husband and spent more time on MY painting & writing.

3) Some days I think I would have married a man who asked me (3x) in my 20s, but then I'd have different children and I can't imagine that. So maybe this one should be I'd learn to set boundaries and navigate relationship issues I have in my marriage - because I don't have the right skills and I am grappling to get them now in my 40s.

4) I would have bought a house on my own when I first thought of buying a home (1992!)

Hmm, that is about it, which really isn't bad! I am feeling blue today, so a 4 item list is making me feel a bit sunnier. THANK YOU for asking!

5 moms found this helpful

D.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Good good question that really makes you think huh? :)

1. I would have tried harder in highschool and continued my education into college and graduate, so i could be making more money!

2. I would of managed my credit better, and paid more attention to bills and where my money is going.

3. I most definately would of kept more friends from high school, and tried with my friendships more. I wouldn't have listened to what my "best friend" in high school was saying and dropping friends left and right because she said they were saying something bad about me.. i now know it was her.. not them.

4. I would have never moved back in with my parents, because its so hard to leave again. I never want to leave living with my parents they are my entire world// (yet my husband would rather live elsewhere).

5. I waited until I was 25 to have my son, and everyone asked why i was waiting so long... really?!? i don't regret that choice, but I do regret coming back to work. I do miss being with him and seeing him grow up.

6. lastly and my most important- I would of said something about my uncle being inappropriate with me when it happened and not think it was all in my head. i would of said something, and prevented it from happening to my little cousin.. I know it wasn't my fault but i should of said something, but at 6 yr old I didn't know that.. THIS IS MY MAJOR REGRET.

I don't have many major regrets other then the one above. But i tell you this really makes me thing what will i regret in years to come... :)

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Only one regret here, having a tubal after my third :( REALLY REALLY dumb

6 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

A huge regret of mine was lacking the extremely important skill of knowing how to say NO to people!!! When a childhood friend asked me to be one of her bridesmaids in her wedding, I didn't want to b/c we hadn't been close friends since we were in elementary school, but she was holding on to our childhood memories. Even though I didn't want to, I was flattered and just said yes to avoid a confrontation and telling her my real feelings. Big mistake. Due to a couple incidences, we had a falling out (because she was not a true friend to me) and don't speak anymore. I am much more upset about not saying no to her than I am about not talking to her anymore. Knowing how to say no to people is a skill so important, that if you don't have it, it could ruin your life. I also wish I had said no to my parents and mother-n-law about various things over the years. They are master guilt-manipulators and I fell for it many times. I was under their "spell," but at age 38, not anymore.

I also regret giving people the impression that I am a stupid, idiotic pushover, because that is how so many people have treated me/viewed me over the years. I was way too nice and trusting of others - wore my heart on my sleeve and opened up to them b/c I thought they were my true friends when indeed they were not - and that gave them the impression that I was an idiot with whom they can push around and make fun of. I was their entertainment and the butt of a lot of their jokes for a very long time, but not anymore, thank God. I have learned to be extremely careful of who I trust and who I consider to be my real, genuine friends and not my fake, phony two-faced friends. Learned that the very hard way.

I also regret not telling my parents to get divorced when I was about 10 years old. They asked my younger brother and I (he was 7, I was 10) if we thought they should get divorced. My brother cried and cried and cried and said no, and I said nothing (my answer was a huge YES YES YES YES YES, but I was too afraid to tell them. Again - didn't know how to speak my mind - that time, I didn't know how to say yes).

Good question!

6 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

I don't think I would change much because all my choices were what makes me me, but I would to have been able to encourage my better half to go back to school and finish her degree so I could be a stay at home mom now.

5 moms found this helpful

L.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

If I could go back and change things, I would have never chosen my boyfriend over my family, and I would have never lost those precious 2 years with my sister and sister-in-law that have both since passed away.

I would have been more careful with my credit! I would have never excepted all the cards companies handed me at 18 when I had no idea what it would do to my future...

I would have finished college the first time instead of spending my entire adult life trying to peice together a college degree...

5 moms found this helpful
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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

I would not have taken out student loans to get my MBA, I would have figured out another way to pay for it. I would have saved more & spent less. I would not have let good friends fade away.

I can't think of anything else significant that I would do differently since every step or misstep, goal achieved or mistake made, has lead me to where I am today - and I am so very happy with my life & my family.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

The only thing I would change is the way I handled my finances when I was younger. I messed up my credit and it's taken a really REALLY long time to get my credit back up. Besides that I made pretty good choices and learned quickly from the mistakes that I did make.

Neither my husband or I traveled very much before starting a family so that's something we are looking forward to doing together when our children are older.

4 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from New York on

I am so fortunate - and I really do thank God everyday for the people and things I have in my life. I feel like I have everything I could ever want/need.

One thing I wish I did differently...I wish I chose a different profession. It is so hard when you are 18 to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life. Even in my mid 20's I went back for my Master's degree, but it isn't in the field I want. I would love to be a pharmacist. But at this stage in my life, with the over $50K in college loans, there is no way that I could go back for that.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Pueblo on

I would like to be MORE of the young woman I was NOW.
She was eager, appreciative of little kindnesses, goal driven, loyal to a fault, and passionate. Where did that lively young lady go?

4 moms found this helpful
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K.E.

answers from Buffalo on

1. I would have gotten my nursing license no matter what the doctors told me.
2. Managed my money/ credit better.
3. Picked certain people in my life better.
4. grow a thicker skin to the opinions of others.

4 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Portland on

I would have focused more in highschool and not have gotten pregnant at 17!
I would have waited to get myself stable, have at least some college education, an income. I am still with that same wonderful man who I started my family with, but I would have preffered to have our family later when I could give my son everything he needed on my own.

I would have been a better daughter to my parents.

I would have persued my passion for music. Having a baby aty 17 really made me put my life on hold. I love him with all my heart, but I wish I could have figured ME out a little bit before, and have been able to provide more, and be a better parent to him for it.

However, I love how my life ended up. Learn from the past, look forward to the future, and follow a plan to reach those future goals in the present. And cherish every moment <3
:)

3 moms found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Des Moines on

#1 - I would have stayed in college, just changed major's or schools - I quit after my first year.

#2 - I would have waited until I was much older to get married - I was 22 and didn't even know who I was yet, why did I think I was ready. I love my kids and wouldn't give them up for anything, I just wish I would have waited until I was older to have them.

#3 - I wish I would have tried to follow my dreams. Once I was married and had kids I quit singing and acting. Now I just don't have the time to do either.

3 moms found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Detroit on

I would've waited until MUCH later to lose my virginity. (and to add - slept with many less)

I would've fought back against the bullies in school.

I would've put more into saving funds and possibly targeted the stocks much earlier in life. (I had GREAT credit before I got my divorce, but because all of the bills were in my name on HIS house, I had to file Bankruptcy)

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D.J.

answers from New York on

Greatest regret: leaving my hometown and not knowing myself more to know the right type of man who would be perfect for me and also, not going to law school and instead studying something that sounded good by theory, I did finish it but did not enjoy doing this, I would have made a good lawyer, I know this as I am in that business and all my lawyer friends tell me so, sigh ~~~ Life is still great though, I have a child who is a great blessing, a miracle, I won't trade my life now to get any of the things I regret not having done or having.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.S.

answers from Houston on

I would have finished my degree before getting married and having a child. I am half way finished but it is going to take forever taking 1 or 2 classes a semester. And I would have enjoyed my college years. I have been with my husband since I was 15 and married at 21 so I didn't get that wild college experiece (which I would have loved) But I am blessed to be a SAHM with a beautiful 3 y/o little girl so I guess God had a plan.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

my only regret is leaving california. i should have stayed there. but that was 8 years ago, and no way for me to go back, but if i could change one thing it would have been to never ever leave cali.

2 moms found this helpful

C.F.

answers from Boston on

I wish I could go back and just be a 'kid'. I Always had to be with the grown ups, Always had to know what was going on, I never just played. I would Not have a had a "serious" High School Sweetheart - I would have gone to school to Learn and not to Socialize. I would have completed college instead of stopping after a year to get married, which I ended up leaving after 6 months! I would have been smarter about my Money management skills/ or lack there of. When i dropped that 65lbs, it would have stayed OFF, no yo-yo dieting. I would have treated my body better, its the only one I'm ever going to have.
BUT all the choices I have made have lead me to where and who I am today! Live and Learn :-)

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K.V.

answers from Phoenix on

I think the only thing I would have done would have been traveled abroad. With our responsiblities now it will be some time before I am able to. Other than that I wouoldnt change anything :)

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I would have gotten my college degree. I had to move around a lot, and change schools.

I would have done repairs/remodel to my house before moving in.

I would have worked harder to maintain/keep some of my friends.

I would have spent more time traveling.

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R.S.

answers from New York on

I would have tried harder to keep in touch with old friends; now they are hard to find, and even on facebook I have found many but it's been hard to meet up with people one on one.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Although I have had some unavoidable lumbar and cervical surgeries I could do without. Most everything else has been pretty darn great. I worked and payed my own way through college - two degrees. I am best buds with my ex-hubby and raise our daughter together. My daughter is the first person to say she has a great life. We have been able to travel all over the US, Canada, Mexico, Europe, China, Bahamas. Now she is going through college application process and it's exciting - she will make a great nurse! I don't know if I miss out on the love part because I don't know a man could handle the closeness of my ex-husband and myself. It's all good!!

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