I Need Tips on How to Get My Foster Daughter to Take a Shower

You might even approach it gradually. Like MMM said, create a warm, comfortable environment in the bathroom and explain that even a sink bath would feel nice and keep her feeling fresh and clean. Maybe take her and let her pick out a towel/washcloth in her favorite color. Tell her it's hers and only hers. Encourage her to lock the door as well. Sounds like there may be a very good reason that she is uncomfortable getting undressed or being in/near water.

I agree with "two boysN a girl, I would ask her why she does not want to take a bath, make sure she knows how to use the facility and what to use and offer to allow her to pick her own tolietries. If this doesn't work you should tell her "I can assist you" if she still refuses. I know this may sound strange, but I work with troubled children with traumatic brain injuries, severe behavioral issues and many times we have to take this approach. I hope this helps.

I have an 11 year old grandson in foster care and he wouldn't bathe for the foster family either. He was unsure about the controls, what soaps to use, what towel was his, etc....if you tell the child for example: "Wednesday eveing from 7pm to 7:30pm is your time in the bathroom to bathe. I will be checking on you until I am satisfied that you know how to wash your hair and hiney. As soon as you can do that I will leave you alone in the bathroom. I'd like you to wear a swim suit to cover your p****** p**** and I have one available for you." Then modesty is no longer an issue, and the parts that need to be cleaned are at least soaked and the hair is scrubbed clean.

a child who refuses to bathe is often a formerly sexually abused child.
Nevertheless, she needs to learn that you will keep her safe.
You will probably need to be in the bathroom with her to get her to shower. I would offer to "help" if she needs it (that is probably the last thing she wants!)
I have raised three attachment issue children, and although I have not been a roaring success at it, anything I have learned is available to share.

Treat her like a very young child and don't allow her to have much control , if any. Attachment disordered children want to be in control because they are unable to trust, but any control they get only makes them sicker. She needs very strict parenting and needs to learn that you are strong enough to keep her safe and will not abandon her.

Get her into therapy with an attachment therapist while she is still a foster child because they will pay for it.

If you have this child because you are wanting to adopt her, I would be very careful; I thought the adoption finalization at age 9 would help my daughter attach better,l but it did not and she very nearly bankrupted our family with trying to get her the help she needed. She never did heal, nor take any responsibility for her own life, and as an adult she cannot keep a job for more than a few weeks before finding a reason to quit.
If I can be any more help, e-mail me.
L.

Maybe both of you get in bathing suits and do it together? Or take a bath?

u dont say how old , but patience and maybe some bubbles, and to let her help in getting the water ready someone could have scalded her before and shes frightened of water, or she has been sexually touch and is frightened good luck my daughter fosters also

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She may have reactive attachement disorder and other emotional issues.
Keep in mind that she may have been molested while in or getting out of the shower. she may be fearful of water. She may be afraid to take her clothes off. Therapy / counseling will help.
Try to praise her when she does. Since at times she is like a small child would a "chores chart" help? put it on the list. Get a sticker each day it is done after so many stickers she gets a prize.
I would discuss this with her caseworker. she may have more insight for you.
Best wishes and God Bless you for being a foster parent!