Her mom & dad are furious & I will see her at Easter & don't know what to say
Although we would like for 16 year old girls to wait longer before having sex, many 16 year old girls have sex. It is absolutely nothing to feel sick over. I know plenty of wonderful young adult women who began having sex at 16, and they are fine.
Hopefully her parents are putting her on birth control and having the appropriate conversations, but I agree with the others, stay out of it.
Unless you were a participant or someone is asking you to raise their child for them, you are not entitled to say anything. You can be disappointed. I am sometimes disappointed in my own family as well, however, unless that person asks me outright for my opinion on the matter, I keep my mouth shut. Not my bees wax!
As a grandparent, it's hard to butt out. I know, I'm one. But, it's really none of your business and it is not something you should bring up. If she wants to confide in you or ask advice, that's one thing. But if she doesn't bring it up, you shouldn't either. This is between her, her parents and her boyfriend. Personally, I try to be the place/person where the kids get no judgment. I know EVERYTHING, but if they don't mention it, I don't either. They need a soft place to be sometimes and I try to provide that place. No bitching, no arguing, no yelling, no judgment. Just grandma's house where they can be loved, nurtured, and eat all the junk they want! After all, that's the joy of being the grandparent!
I wouldn't love that news either, but your 16 yr old granddaughter' s sex life should really not be a topic of Easter conversation, unless, of course, she asks for your advice or input. It is hard enough navigating through the teens years without all your relatives knowing your private matters.
Welcome to Mamapedia, G..
I'm sure this is very difficult to hear. I'm not sure why the parents told you, given how upset you are. But them being furious isn't going to help anything. They need to have a sensible dialogue with their daughter, and get her some reasonable and unbiased health care.
You are the grandmother, and as much as you love your granddaughter and want the best for her, you have to stay out of this entirely. You say nothing. This is between parents and child. You don't stare at her or look askance at her. You have to let this girl know that she is loved, and that her family is a source of support for her, a place for her to come when she has questions or problems or fears.
Try not to treat her any differently at all. The surest way to drive a teen into the arms of a teen boy is to reject her, rebuke her, or let her think that she's somehow tainted and no longer worthy of your love.
welcome to mamapedia!!
Why do you feel sick about it??
Why do you need to know her sex life? Its' NONE of your business.
Unless she comes to your for advice?? You keep your mouth shut. It's NONE of your business.
I'm having a really hard time understanding why this is any of your business. You say nothing, because you really shouldn't know this anyway. Perhaps it's time to talk to your adult child about proper boundaries and respecting his or her own child's privacy.
Unless your granddaughter brings it up, you say nothing. Let her parents handle it.
Unless she brings it up you don't need to say anything, her sex life is really none of your business. It is really too bad her parents are furious because that means she will no longer come to them and discuss these issues, so she will hide them instead. If you think you can be a real, calm, and honest sounding board for her without judgement then let her know that, otherwise stay out of it and hope she finds an educated adult she can talk to who will give her real information without judgement or anger. Planned Parenthood would be a great place for her to start if she wants good information about how to keep herself safe (if you are lucky enough to still have one in your area).
Stay out of it.
Say nothing and pretend it didn't happen and you never found out about it.
You raised your kids and are done.
Let her parents handle it - it's their turn to deal with stress like this.
I confide in my mom all the time about my kids. She's my mom - I'm telling her personal stuff because I need her to support me and my parenting.
I don't expect her to go to my children and get involved. That's not her role. I went to my mom as a resource for me.
I think that's your only role in this. Why not just be loving and supportive to your granddaughter as you normally would be. If her parents are furious at her, sounds like she could use a friend/Grandma. Let her parents parent her.
Why would you say anything? You'll just make it worse. Stay out of it.
Give her a big hug. Don't say anything unless she brings it up. And even then, just listen. Support her and love her. She may already be feeling that she made a mistake. If you are judgmental that will only make her feel worse. The fact that her parents are already furious about it, she may just need a comforting shoulder to lean on. This does not define her. She is still the granddaughter that you have always loved. Don't let this be a wedge between you.
Why is this in any way your business? Stay out of it unless she comes to you to talk.
You don't need to say anything. Let her parents handle it.
The deed has been done. Her mother should have been having the talk with her all along. No need to be furious. Just calm down and do treat her like a young lady. As others have said many girls have sex at 16. It is not the end of the world it is just not what you all planned for her. We all would like our children to wait until marriage but that does not happen.
You be the good grandma and say nothing. You have raised your kids. It is time for the adult children to deal with this. They should still be loving and caring for their daughter and not put a scarlet mark on her forehead and call her ugly names. She needs her parents now more than ever to be their for her and to support her in her growth into an adult. Remember 18 is not that far away.
Happy Easter, Love on your granddaughter. Don't bring up the subject.
the other S.
Why are you sick about it? Why are they furious?
Don't say anything. If she wants to talk to you about it, she will. Don't go all judgemental on her. That would not be OK.
She is just shy of being an adult. Granted, it would have been nice if she'd waited longer, but she didn't. Hopefully SOMEONE was talking to her about her body, birth control, etc.
She's a young woman. Treat her as such.
You say nothing. Absolutely nothing. Her body, her business.
I wouldn't say anything and just work on my connection with her. The stronger her relationship with you the more influence you can have. I wouldn't offer your opinion unless she asks and/or confides in you.
Here's what you say....
Nothing.
Not your business.
Have a good Easter.
Cheryl B. ~
May I send 100 flowers?
This is exactly what I would have typed... and in fact, is the kind of relationship I had with my grammy (god rest her).
It is exactly the kind of relationship I wish to have with MY grands when/if I have them.
Best
It's not your place to say anything! Stay out of it unless she brings it up.
you say nothing unless it comes up then you simply state that it made you sick to hear about it and you change the subject. my grandma never hid what she was feeling about something and she was one of my greatest influences. she kept my butt outta trouble all i had to do was think " what would grandma say if she found out" and it was enough to keep me from missbehaving
You don't say anything. I'm not sure why your son or daughter told you. I feel it is very personal and that information should have stayed in their home. My boys are all young, but I do not plan on calling the grandparents when they start having sex.
I understand your being sick about it. I can understand your son or daughter telling you. However, grandparents need to be a soft place to fall. Do not mention it unless she does. Then just hug her and let her talk.
I am glad that your son or daughter told you. Having a good, open relationship is what family is about.
Updated
I understand your being sick about it. I can understand your son or daughter telling you. However, grandparents need to be a soft place to fall. Do not mention it unless she does. Then just hug her and let her talk.
I am glad that your son or daughter told you. Having a good, open relationship is what family is about.
