I Am Reaching the BREAKING POINT.....

Updated on January 09, 2011
M.P. asks from Cordova, TN
24 answers

I don't have a purpose in life! Everything is ruined from the very beginning, from getting in serious debt, legal troubles, can't find a job and so much to name. I don't see how I can get my life back on track! I stress & depress everyday always blaming my mistakes from the beginning. It is sad when a person doesn't have any purpose in life! When you reach this breaking point, nothing seems to matter anymore. The happy person I used to be, all washed away within seconds. I need to find a solution to be the person I used to be, but nothing can come to terms right now, everything is all a blur!!

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

I'm trying to take one day at a time and not think about the past because I can't go back and fixed. But I can still make the future much more better then my past, therefore I am not focusing about my mistakes that I've made in the past because its a life lesson that will teach me to be stronger. Reading every mommas comments on here, I feel like weights lifted off my shoulders. Thanks everyone for the advice and motivations. I will not let the depression eat me alive, I will FIGHT it! TIME FOR A REAL CHANGE!!!

Featured Answers

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I don't have anything to add to what these mamas have said other than to say you are cared for more than you'll know. You are a fellow human on this crazy planet and for that, I care for you.

*hugs*

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I myself am going through an extremely difficult time also, but mine also include a very sick newborn who has been in the hospital since she was 5 days old and we still don't have an answer as to whats wrong. When Im feeling down, which is almost all the time, I remember this line:
IT CAN ALWAYS BE WORSE!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

M.P.,
Hello. Be still and calm. Do you have a counselor you can contact? From the information you've given, it sounds like you have some debt, legal issues, unemployment and depression.
What do YOU feel has been the last straw for you?
There is always SOME sort of help available for these kinds of issues: unemployment compensation, credit counseling, legal aid, government assistance , etc.
I don't know specifically what happened to change your life "within seconds" but I urge you to take small steps to regain those feelings of control over your issues at hand. After all, the best way to eat an elephant is O. bite at a time, right? :)
Hang in there and if you feel suicidal or as if you or others might be in danger, please call 9-1-1 and you will receive help.

8 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I'm not a therapist and it sounds like you need one. Just know this; you are needed and important to someone. Please don't forget that. Also, you sound like you have a lot on your plate and to look at it all at once can be very overwhelming. Please take each issue one very small baby step at a time. Write it all down and come up with a plan for each issue. You can get out of this. Just keep at it, pray, and try to breathe.

6 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Don't be so glum Chickie, I've been thru bankruptcy a couple of times. Had tons of money once from farming... and one year that ALL changed. Life is full of ups and downs. Where were you last year on exactly this day? Next year on this day things will be so different than they are right now. Let each day do it's thing, you are part of what makes the world go round... we all are. When you do finally get back on track (and you will) you will be able to give great advice to people that are in the same boat you rode in. We go through hard time to make us stronger for something we will face in the future.
Focus on getting out of your hole. It takes one step at a time to make it happen. If you do nothing, nothing will change. You do have to be a little proactive to get your life where you want it. Dont settle for less than what you want. If you are young you have PLENTY of time to fix things.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

You do have a purpose in life! You don't know what it is yet. I don't know your circumstances, your background, your troubles or if you have a family, or children or a husband or what, but I have been there and am happy to say while I still have troubles in life (we all do) we also find that these troubles help others. And one day you will see that. So right now, while you are with me, sit down and write them down. Some of them might not seem so terrible once you do that. Look at the ones you can do something with right now. You will find a job, it might take longer than usual, this is the world. Your legal troubles will end, whatever they are. And oftentimes I realized that while we have these troubles we are also living in the future anticipating all sorts of other troubles. Kind of throws more into the fire. Write down what it was that used to make you happy. And I'm not talking about being skinny or voluptious or being able to flirt with everyone (ALTHOUGH THAT WAS FUN AT ITS TIME if you did that.) I am talking about when you were little and you stood outside and looked at the sun and drew finger paintings and read poems or whatever you did. You are still that person. Take a hot bath and go for a walk. If you are single know that you can enjoy that, if you are married look at your husband and remember what it was that made you be with him in the first place. I worried so much about all this financial stuff and making payments on time, etc. and you know what I got sick with cancer. It was caught early but made me realize that these are all not very important things. You can make payment plans and pay things off, you can fight for yourself to handle these legal problems. You are going to be alright. And you have all of us and we care very, very much. Give yourself a hug from us. And one day you may be writing someone who was in the same shoes as you. I know I am right now.

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L.B.

answers from Stockton on

M.P., just as fast as things seem to wash away, the good can come back. This is just one tiny moment in your life. Sucks, yes, but things will clear up. We all have times where we feel as if we are just trying to keep our heads above water, but we do it! You won't be the person you used to be, you will be more because you have this experience. You might find you are able to help someone in the same circumstance as you just by standing strong! Hang in there because there is tomorrow and the next day!

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H.L.

answers from New York on

Your profile doesn't give details but I assume you're a mother and if that's the case, that's certainly a purpose!! Remember, to your kids, you are the utmost important person in the world no matter how badly things are going. As JL said, seek out some support groups or a church etc. Things will get better. Take baby steps and bit by bit, you'll move forward. Maybe things can't get much worse? :) Only thing that would be worse is for you to harm yourself or someone else.

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S.L.

answers from New York on

You need to talk to a minister, a doctor, a counselor, there are people who can and will help you but you need to seek them out. You are never alone, God is with you and ready to help someone to help you, just take the first step by talking to someone, if the first person you talk to doesnt seem helpful, find someone else, until you find the right person. I really do believe God helps those who help themselves.

3 moms found this helpful

A.A.

answers from Anchorage on

First take a deep breath, Don;t know how old you are? But, Your not alone. First know one can pull you out but you! The more negative thinking you do the worse it get's .I know thats not what you want to hear. But You need to get positive, Again How old are you? Do you have children? And is your health good? Sometimes when you hit bottom it seems to have no end. You just have to look up, And let yourself be heard.I would concider seeing a doctor to. You sound like you have a great deal of depresion. -Thing's always get better, They really will :)

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

You are just feeling super low right now. Everything is NOT ruined, do you hear? You are not a loser! There are so many people in this country with financial troubles, no job, debt, etc. It is very normal to feel despair right now. Try and remember that just because you have messed up big time doesn't make you any worse than anyone else. We are all human and we all do a large amount of stupid mistakes that we regret and kick ourselves over. ALL OF US!

But God loves us anyway. You've got to get around some really kind, supportive people right now, even if it strangers on the internet. I think Mamapedia has lots of moms that care about each other. I care about you even though I don't know you because I have felt the same despairing feelings about myself, too. It gets better. You will learn from your mistakes and move on.

Hug!

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D.G.

answers from Chattanooga on

Sounds like you need some help for depression.I can understand debt. Not sure what your legal issues are. I also know how it is to need things myself I'm trying to rweplace my roof on a SSD income sighs hugs.. if you ever wanna talk mail me

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

r.

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M.M.

answers from Wheeling on

Where a door is shut there will always be a window. God said he would not allow more than what we can handle. Apparently he has allowed things thus far for a reason and you should think about what that reason could be. I have been through some rough times and if I did not have God in my life, I do not know how I would have made it. The devil tempts us daily but " there is no temptation taken you but such is common to man but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may BE ABLE to bear it" I Corinthians 10:13. Really get to know him by reading the Bible and see how it helps. A good place to sart is acts which tells of the history of the church.

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B.H.

answers from Detroit on

Not having employment is enough to send anyone into a depressed state. Especially when you have the responsiblity of taking care of a family. There are so many people out of work right now. I know that probably does not help much because this is happening to you but it is so true.
I have had the same feelings about employment. Even though I'm one of the few people who have not been laid off or let go from by employment, my salary has been cut so badly until I'm at the point of wishing I was drawing unemployment. But, at the same time I try to be grateful that I'm still employed.
I know who finding a purpose can be so frustrating. I'm 43 years old and considering going back to school to get a second degree because my salary has been cut back and I'm about where I was 10 years ago financially. However, at my age it's not going to be easy starting over but what choice do I have because I have two young children who depend on me.
So, with that being said, you got debt. all you can do is contact your debtors and let them know you are not working right now. Don't stress over it. It's not like they can take your paycheck or get anything from you right now. So, no worries there because you have no control ove that.
No cause of worrying about your mistakes whatever they maybe. The mistakes are in the past and nothing you can do will change them. All you can do is deal with now and try to move forward. And just remember whatever you can control matters and what you can't control is just something you won't waste your time dealing with.
((hugs))

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B.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

www.klove.com

Listen to the music, read some stories, pray. Call their number and talk with someone. Don't worry, it's not all "churchy". Sometimes God brings us to our knees--and as low as we can be--in order for us to look up to Him and to fully lean on him. I will pray for things to get better for you. (((HUGS)))

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

I completely understand. Been there myself before as well. I like to think of these times as "growing pains" -- as the Universe's way (or God's way) of telling me that I'm ready to reinvent myself and follow a new path.

I know it's hard not to, but don't blame yourself for what you have done or where you are at. You did they best you could with the knowledge and tools that you had available to you at the time. All you can do now is take what you have learned from the past and move forward. That may mean seeking out help and advice (from a non-profit consumer credit counseling service perhaps), re-evaluating how you have been approaching things (maybe you need a new resume or a new career), or educating yourself (enrolling in school and taking classes so that you can pursue that dream job that you really want).

I believe in you and know that you are clever enough to pull yourself out of this funk. The trick is that you just have to be your own best cheerleader even if you don't completely feel it in your heart at the moment.

Sending you prayers of healing and clarity your way.

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

Try not to carry those things, they are in the past. Try only to live in the present. The more you focus on the bad, the more bad will come into your life. Find the beauty in your life and focus deeply. Find things to be grateful for. Write them down. Focus. Everything is beautiful. Your life is back on track. Try not to be passionate about the "mess" in your life, but be passionate about it's beauty. You can only be who you are now, in this moment and that can change in an instant.

Hope this helps. I've made mistakes, a lot of them. Without going into details, my life has completely changed by living on these principles. Through visualization and different exercises my life is still becoming what I saw. I hope this speaks to you in every way it is meant to. May I recommend "The Secret." It's an excellent documentary on the Law of Attraction.

Good Luck .... maybe.

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K.T.

answers from Chattanooga on

I have been in your shoes, God knows that I have said those same things for years. It has taken almost 10 years of living in hell to realize that my purpose in life was to struggle. I have found that "the view of the mountain is worth the climb". Don't get discouraged, you will find peace within yourself to make sure that you will succeed. Everyone gets to their Breaking Point but a level head is what makes us all prevail. I had to finally realize and tell myself, "stop living the should've, could've, would've of what actions in the past". If you keep doing this to yourself you will find yourself in more misery than ever. I have been devistated, defeated, heartbroken, and an absolute mess however I had to find peace and rise above the madness. I hope thigs get better in time, just don't lose focus on keeping it together for your children, they will always be there for you.

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K.P.

answers from Fayetteville on

Call your local county mental health department (or health department if you don't know how to reach it). You can be seen on a sliding scale or even for free if you are unemployed. What is your "breaking point?" Please do NOT consider hurting yourself. I'm assuming you are a mother...your child(ren) need you. There is love in your life. This too will pass, but you need help to get there. You have nothing to lose, so get help for yourself! Best wishes.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

M.P., please, look at Kathy's message: Please, please see your county mental health department TODAY. Log off the computer right now (after you do a search on how to find the nearest mental health clinic) and go see them. They can help you and refer you to other resources and programs to help with debt, with legal issues, and especially with the depression you feel. Handle the depression first, then the other issues can follow. These service, if done through the county, should be free, and you can explain to them your work and financial situation. But most of all please be honest and completely open with someone professional about exactly what you wrote here. Now -- please, find out where to go in your town or city, and go today. Please post here again so we will know what happened. It may seem right now like you "don't have a purpose in life," as you said, but for this one day, your purpose is to look after yourself.

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M.B.

answers from Springfield on

PLEASE GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! There are plenty of things that are right in your life but they have gotten washed over with all the committments you have. Bill, legal issues, all of lifes stresses will get worked out! Look around you and ASK FOR HELP! If you cant think of a friend or family member look to your church or Moms group or a local support group. Asking for help IS NOT a sign of weakness it is a strength when we realize we can't do everything!

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

Is there any way you can give us more information so we can help you better? I can't imagine that you have no purpose. I sometimes feel that way too, not in a depressed way, but wondering why I am here. I have to stop and think about all the GOOD in my life. think about my husband, my children, my friends, my grandmother, etc Let us in on your life and let us help you remember what your purpose is. You sound young and sometimes life is hard when you are young. Debt can be stressful and legal trouble can be permanent so give us some more info and let us walk you through this.

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