Husband Lacks Common Sense

I agree with the idea of taking him shopping to buy new stuff. When he sees how money he is throwing away by being irresponsible, he might get the hint. After you buy all new stuff once again also get a lock for the cupboard you keep them in -- and the key stays with you.

The only time you can change a man is when he is in diapers.

(and if he is in diapers -- I'm not interested in a man in diapers)

Buy him several bags of those red shop rags and tell him those are the only towels he can use...ever. Save all of the cool whip, lunch meat containers etc and put them in a bucket for him to use what he likes.

Buy new containers and towels. He's not going to change. You said it yourself. We can't REALLY change other people's behavior, they have to choose to change. We can only choose how we REACT to said behavior.

Is it REALLY a deal breaker?

You can't go THROUGH the fence, you have to go around it, or over it, or under it, you know?

Choose peace (with a small side of bitching rights, of course!).

:)

I would take him to the store to replace, with his time and money, the containers that he has misused and the towels he has ruined.

You can also put labels on things. Label "for food only" and "these towels are not for rags" or get a canvas bag for the stuff that is rags.

Like this: http://www.mabelslabels.com/products/bin+labels+custom

Sharpie wears off. You can also get a P-touch labeller, but I've never tried one.

My husband does Too Much and sometimes things get undone or done badly. My kitchen is not finished because I'm tired of him being the handyman and I wish I could just hire someone. He is a function over form person and used BLACK SCREWS in my windows to put up panes of plexiglass in an attempt to insulate. My roof is 1/2 brown and 1/2 black because he redid part of the roof and didn't check the package til he didn't have time to return them. Sometimes I feel like I can't have nice things because my husband is Tim the Toolman, without a show.

I agree with what Mary said. Let him keep using the things he is currently using, and buy new ones for yourself. Good idea Mary!

(But I snickered with agreement upon reading the title of your post.)

Are they "his" rags and cleaning solution (maybe for the garage)?

Just ask him nicely and don't convey to him that you think he has no common sense. You married him and that's just mean spirited. You could also buy more storage containers and tell him that those are for food.

Give him the containers you have now. Write his name on them and leave them where they are. Buy another set of food storage containers, and store them in a totally different place (and don't announce it to the family).

Stock a kitchen drawer (at least, that's where mine are) with cleaning cloths that can also be used as rags. Keep your good dishtowels in a separate place, and get one out only when you need it.

This means some kitchen reorganization on your part, but reorganizing is much faster and cheaper than divorcing a guy with incredible good points.

Don't talk about what you're doing or why. Sometimes a person who *feels* nagged will react by losing his hearing, digging his heels in, and refusing to change. Sad, but true.

Men! Can't live with them, can't live w/o them!
I hate to say it honey but he most likely will never change.
It's okay though! Just take a deep breath. Don't buy new ones.
Don't "show" him where the supplies are any longer.
Don't tell him.
Don't yell at him.
Don't argue about it (not worth it).
Just let it go.
Replace them. Forget them. Buy new ones. Turn around & walk away.
Don't let it take up precious brain time thinking about it.
Men are hardwired differently than we are. What bothers us will never bother them. They don't even notice.
Again....not worth it.
Save your sanity. Walk away.
Btw, I completely understand & share in your pain.
Take a deep breath. It is an age old problem & not worth the pain, suffering, arguing, bitterness, hard feelings etc.
We can't change people. We can only change ourselves & how we look at things.
Change how you do things (walk away, don't look when he does this, buy new containers etc )
I hope this helps. I wish you the best! :)

Store HIS food in those containers and make HIM use the towels that he has used as rags.

Buy him his own or make the ones for the kitchen bright girly pink.

I think buying him stuff and putting it within his reach where he uses them the most is the best thing to do. Or send him to the store to buy new towels a few times. Make him pay out of pocket too. That way he will see how expensive it is for him to waste these.

Actually, I think sending him to the most expensive store in town that carries towels would make the most impression on him. If he is at all a person who understands the value of a dollar.

In marriage there are always going to be these kinds of issues. I used to lose it because my husband would do the dishes by rinsing one, then walking over to the TV and watching a minute of something and then walking back to the dishwasher. These meant that what would take me 10 minutes could take him hours. To say nothing of the water all over the place. Then I just re-trained my brain. I realized he wasn't going to change. Now I thank my stars that he even does the dishes ( a chore I hate) and I leave the room so he does not drive me bats. I am not sure if this will help you, but it worked for me.

Do you keep all the cleaning supplies together? I have to imagine that if you had all the rags and buckets and cleaning supplies in one spot that it should not be difficult to use what you want him to.. Keep ice cream buckets for cleaning purposes. Men can be all about convenience, so if it's right there in front of his face, he won't have the option to go grab something you don't want him to. P.S. I like the favorite shirt idea, LOL ;-)

Have you had a calm, sit down, let's solve this problem together conversation with him? A conversation in which you do not criticize or complain? One in which he's able to offer his ideas for solutions.

This has apparently taken on gigantic emotional proportions for you. Have you sat down calmly with yourself and tried to figure out what is actually fueling all this anger? It's something greater than his lack of taking care of things. After all. people and our relationships are much more important than things.

I suggest that counseling could help you work out your issues. Yes, it would be good if he went too but from this post it sounds like you're the one with issues. containers and towels? count against his good points? Huh? I suggest you need to find a way to balance out the irritations with the good points by putting more emphasis on the good points than on the negative ones. And learn how to deal with frustrations before they grow to the point of all out war and considering a divorce.

I will add that if you put the rags in the same general area as the towels that may help. I faced this problem and have both rags and good towels in the kitchen. The rags are visible on a shelf. I didn't even have to ask the men in my family to just use rags. Once they were readily available they used them. It's actually easier to pull out a rag then dig for a towel.

And why not use food storage containers for chemicals? Just be sure to label in large letters the contents. If he doesn't label them, then you do so. It's not so much the container that is confusing but where it's located. If it's under the sink or in the garage and has stuff in it then it's not a food container any longer. If cost is your concern, but the Ziplock style of container. They're inexpensive.

And instead of you storing these items for him. Give them to him and have him store them. Then he'll know where they are and is more likely to use them. You do have to do all of this in a calm, non-judgmental way with no emotional investment. When you get angry it's human nature for him to defend himself and dig in against your orders.

To save yourself much aggravation accept that you cannot change anyone but yourself. You can change your expectation and live a happier life.

Later; About the turtle in mixing bowls. I put fish in mine when I changed the water. The bowls go into the dishwasher which sterilizes them.

I have a special place in the garage and in the basement for my husband's car rags and car wash stuff. I would set up a place for those things and let him know not to use anything out of the kitchen. He's probably using your kitchen stuff because it's easily accessible and convenient.

Sounds like hes never going to learn.... I'd toss everything out and hide the towels.

Lisa B is right about picking your battles. I think there are so many things we *could* complain about. For example, my hubby gets up before me, makes coffee and brings in a cup to wake me up. So sweet, he does this every day. BUT, the part of our counter that has all the coffee makings is a MESS! Spilled coffee, creamer and sugar on the counter. And hubby, instead of using a paper towel to clean it (at least he does wipe it up!) would use the HAND TOWEL that hangs on the stove handle. We use this towel to ONLY dry our hands with. So now it's getting coffee stains on it every day. I would nicely point this out to him, but he kept doing it. SO, to solve this problem, I bought ANOTHER paper towel holder and put it right next to the coffee pot. I thought that would work. NOPE, for some reason, he just reaches over and grabs that darn hand towel! So now I have given up on having a "nice" towel hanging from the stove. My answer is to hang a "clean" one out when company comes over. Pick your battles. =)

My husband has rags at his disposal....he's the one that actually buys them! But every time he cleans something in the house...he uses my blue hand towels, that I bought specifically for the bathroom because we have blue accents...but the cleaners I like are bleach based, so imagine what my pretty blue hand towels look like when he's done?! LOL
but hey....at least he CLEANED! One less thing that I had to clean the way I look at it. So I just pick up another blue towel every so often when i'm at the store.

I have this problem with my kids. I just gave them the tupperware with no lids, worn out etc. to my kids for catching frogs, crickets etc. To keep them separate, I spray painted the bottom so there was no doubt which was whose... :)

The only way I can get my husband to change is by heaping on the praise when he does something right. My praise is just short of the enthusiasm of winning the lottery. lol Believe it or not it works.

The second thing I do is pick my battles. Some smaller things I ignore because my hubby gets discouraged if I complain too much and he will refuse to do anything to help.

Men really don't think about things the way we women do so I have to work in baby steps. Positive reinforcement really works well with my hubby.

The third suggestion I have is to 'hid' the good things. I purposely put the good towels in a special place. I also make the stuff he can use very convenient.

The last thing I do when I tell hubby what I want done, is to say it in the sweetest of ways what I want with specific details of what to use. For example, I say 'Dear, would you please clean up the kids' dishes when they are done. Please rinse and put into the dishwasher before you leave for work, and start the dishwasher with the dish detergent under the sink'. Thanks Sweetheart'! Adding a kiss is nice, too.

I know that sounds syrupy, but believe it or not it works with my hubby.

When hubby does things right on his own, I heap on the praise.

I don't know if it's so much of a lack of common sense, or just being a man! My husband as well as a lot of my friend's husbands do the same sort of thing. Instead of going to look for a better option for a container or rag etc..they just grab the easiest and nearest thing. They don't always have the same standards for things as we do.

Get him some rags, containers or whatever he needs, show him where they are kept (and make sure they are always there and available to him) and hopefully he'll stop using the others.