Hurt Feelings from Step Parents

Your poor son! How awful for him to have heard that. He should NOT feel like he is unwanted when he visits his dad!I would DEFINITELY speak to his dad, and make sure that his dad talks to him and explains things. His dad will need to reassure him that he is welcome there, and that he is loved. I think it would be nice if his step mom apologizes, but you can't force that. I am so sorry he has to go through this. At least he is open enough to tell you about it so you can help him through it.

You need to talk to his father about this first. He needs to know that your son overheard this and you need to find out what his response was. Was he angry, hurt, indefferent by his wife's selfish remarks??

If he was angry & hurt he needs to talk to his wife more before you get involved with her. But she defnitley needs to be called on this. If he is indiffernt to his wife's complaints & demands you need to remove your son from such a toxic environment.

Perhaps spending the weekend at his father's is not such a good idea and they should plan activities away togther instead (without the step mom of course). No child should have to be exposed to such a self centered woman I no father should allow such a woman to tarnish his relationship with his child.

Definitely talk to the father and take it from there...

I would approach the father. I am assuming that you have a better relationship with him, and a better chance getting through to him, then his obviously immature needy wife. This is your child and you need to stand up for him before things get worse. The last thing that i am sure want is for him to not want to see his father anymore because of his stepmom. If his father knows what's happening then, hopefully, he will put his sons needs before his marriage. Good luck with this sticky situation and i hope that it works out for the better
K.

There's no doubt about it, I'd get involved, even if I didnt let my 12 year old know. I'd definetly ask them what's going on? And call them on it. Both of them. Actually I'd probably loose it on them, but I'm just angry for you rignt now. That sucks, No child needs to grow up with that. I hope you can keep your cool in the situation, that would be hard. I wonder how his dad feals about her saying that, Oh how I'd like to hear what Dr Phill has to say about this (lol).
Good luck to you, really, my heart goes out to you and your son. And I hope you get better advise than what I just gave :).

I would step in also and let them know what your son over heard and how he feels about it. I had a stepmom who's family didn't like me and my mom wouldn't listen to me and it caused major problems. I haven't talked to my dad nor my stepmom in over 12 years because of it. Things need to get fixed now or your son could grow very angry about it and not want to talk to them either.

My advice would be to stay out it. That is their relationship not yours. As his mother I would reassure him that you love him and listen to him. Nothing more can really be done in my opinion.
Just for the sake of argument, I think we have all said not so smart things in the heat of the moment, and most of the time we don't really mean them.
Hope this helps! :)

I think you should definitely say something to them. They need to understand that this is not good for your son and will only harm their relationship with him even more and will likely start to crush his sense of self-worth.

Hi K.,

I would talk with his dad. Is it OK with you for them to argue in his presence? I don't allow arguments in front of my daughter. Children don't understand adult situations and they get scared. I would expect that your son has more than hurt feelings, but is uncomfortable and scare of the situation at his dad's house.
If his father is not aware that he witnessed the argument, then he should be made aware and explain himself and protect his son from any future incidents, and reassure him that he is safe and wanted in the home.

Those are my two-cents worth.
Kind Regards,
TRUDI

I would talk to his dad and let him know his son overheard. Then I would have a talk with your son and reassure him you and his dad love him and love having him around. I would tell him you are sorry his stepmother treats him badly, but not to feel bad because of her, this is her problem not his. I hope this helps and I wish you all well.