Hubbys Sex Drive

I have gone through this, but my hubby had underlying medical issues.
Get him into his doctor for a complete physical. Have them do a blood draw and test his testosterone. My hubby was the lowest they had ever seen. He takes meds now to get all his levels back up to where they should be.

Ask him to go to the doctor. Maybe it is low T. That is where I would start. Counseling after that.

M.

How old is he?
What is his work life like? Any stress/problems?
He should see a Doctor.
It is not you... nor anything personal I am sure.

Men, have a hard time talking about things like this...

Something ain't right. Either physically or emotionally something is wrong with hubby. My concern is his lack of concern for your relationship as a whole. Start with getting a complete physical to rule out the physical but getting down to the emotional will require assistance/cooperation from him which is even tougher. Try to be a safe place for him to land (no man likes a nag). As for your physical needs for sex do what you must but don't cheat on your hubby and try to work it out as best you can with what you are working with. I hope this helps even a little.

Weight, age, diabetes, depression, high blood pressure, low dopamine, meds, stress, anxiety, low testosterone levels, self-esteem issues... all can cause low sex drive in men. He really should have a physical, maybe even couples counseling can help as well.

Talk to him about being concerned for his health, not concerned for his libido.

This article can help shed some light for you:
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/when-a-ma...

Also, it's scientifically proven that men's sex drives are the highest in the 20's and start to wane in their later 30's, while women's sex drives are lower in their 20's and becomes more active in their 30's... interesting.

He needs to talk to his doctor, a loss of sex drive could be a symptom of bigger problems.

Why doesnt he want to talk about it anymore? What were his previous reasons when you did discuss the issue? Is he stressed at work? How is the house life? Does he do a lot around the house on top of work? I know I do and my drive is not really there. Is he depressed? There is a lot of things that contribute to a lack of desire.

Check medical stuff and also watch for signs he is cheating. My ex had diminished sex drive....or so. I thought. Turns out he was busy having sex elsewhere. I think he felt too guiilty. (or spent) to do it at home
. Watch for any unaccounted time in his day. Check his mail and email. Check his car

Updated

Check medical stuff and also watch for signs he is cheating. My ex had diminished sex drive....or so. I thought. Turns out he was busy having sex elsewhere. I think he felt too guiilty. (or spent) to do it at home
. Watch for any unaccounted time in his day. Check his mail and email. Check his car

How old is he?

It is true that when men get older their sex drives diminish....but going all the way to only wanting sex once or twice a month is pretty extreme, IMO.

I would agree that he should speak to his Dr. about this.

Would he be offended if you were to suggest viagra? If he were my hubby I would bring it up, what could it hurt?

~My hubby is a good 7 years older than I am and we have already discussed the possibility that when I hit my 40's I will be in my sexual prime and he will be closer to 50 years old and probably starting to slow down...we all know that men hit their sexual prime in their 20's...how fair is that?

I hope you guys get this figured out...resentment and frustration is not good on the marriage.

My husband told me before we married that his sex drive was not very high, I thought to myself - no problem once or twice a week would be fine with me. I can count on one hand how many times we had sex in the first year! I was devestated, but since I had married him based on an answered prayer and had been married before and had two children I felt I had to stay and deal with it.. I did so many things trying to get his attention... and it seemed nothing worked. Eventually we had our first child and it seemed that he found out that his equipment worked, he was a little more interested. Then when our son was 3 years old I surprised my husband with a overnight stay for our anniversary and things got a little more interesting. Since then, our sex and love life has grown into a wonderful relationship and the outcome is a true love closeness... I agree with the others that say it could be medical..so don't discount those.. but if he is like my husband he is too prideful and stubborn to go to the doctor for anything!
Good Luck! and best Wishes. My husband now tells me that the reason he was so stand offish the first few years was that he was overwhelmed with the marriage to three - Me and my 4 year old twins - from being free/single at 26 years old. It was a drastic adjustment on his part...

Have you looked at your husbands physical and emotional health?
My husband has all the want to, but sometimes lacks the follow through. I think with him it's high blood pressure and the medication for his blood pressure that are the culprit. He's out of work and depression has set in, so, I think that also has a lot to do with it. Of course, knowing what it is and doing anything about it are 2 differant things. He wont even consider discussing this with a dr of any kind. He does use the over the counter male performance enhancers and that seems to work. Check online to see if dimished drive is a side effect of any of his medications. Have him check his blood pressure next time you're in a pharmacy. See if he'll consider the little blue pill - over the counter at first just to see if there is a noticable differance.

I cant really give a good reason for it, as there could be many(look below), but i can tell you that sometimes it turns a completely around. There was about 2 years that my husband would only come onto me like once or twice a month. Ironically it was when i was hitting the gym, nail salon, tanning salon, hair salon, on a regular basis. I was the hottest ive ever been but nothing was happening. Now that i am the most sluggish, hair in a ponytail/ yoga pants/no makeup i cant keep him off of me! My point is , men are weird about sex just like women are. I think they go through their little phases just like we do, and that to reassure you that it might not be this way forever.

Hubby isnt to that point but it has diminished. Lots of reading and studies show that men reach their sexual peak at 18-22, women reach ours at 28-32. I know in my case his drive has diminished but mine has increased with our age. Is your hubby still into it if you initiate? Or does he deny your advances as well?

Kids, work etc can influence as well so keep that in mind. And talk to him, maybe he thinks the same of you.

Good luck!

Does he have diabetes? He may be impotent most of the time. As we all know there are TONS of medications for men's sex drive! He should see his Dr. because it may be a medical issue.

OMG! Let's go out for a drink, you and I... I just posted a question about this the other day. I got a lot of wonderful feedback, if you'd like to take a peek... or shoot me a private message if you need to vent because I am in your shoes EXACTLY!! The only difference... my guy just proposed to me on Christmas (we've been together for 4 years)... and it was my time of the month... once that was over, have we done anything? NO!!! What the hell... All I'm saying, is 'I feel your pain'... hope it gets better (and busier!) VERY soon for us BOTH ;)

It can be emotionally or physically based. If he hasn't had a physical, he should do that to make sure everything's in working order (thyroid, etc.). If he's stressed or depressed from work, etc., that will have an impact as well. Switch the talk from the lack of sex to concern for his health, because if it's an indicator of something else that might be wrong, it might help him feel less like he's not being manly and more willing to deal with it as a symptom, rather than a problem. Good luck!

If he is under a tremendous amount of stress then he will lose interest and if his testosterone is down then he loses interest. He can get hormone replacement for the testosterone or Dopa Bean from the health food store is great. The amino acid L-arginine helps also.

My husband went through the same thing and it ended up being his testosteron level, it was super low. He got shots and it not only improved his sex drive, but also his mood and energy level. Have him get a physical and blood work done, that's how my husband found out.

In my case my husband and i are opposite if that. He has always wanted and he would spend all day doing it if it was possible. Me on the other hand, after my last daughter (emergency c-section) i could care less about sex and actually get quite angry when he talks about it all the time. For men i hear that after 30 it goes way down because they hit their prime between 17 and 27 and for woman it starts at around 30. Maybe ask his if he wants to try something or "someone" new. Maybe at least to get a response.

I don't know how old you and your hubby are. But a little Cialis or Viagra for him wouldn't hurt. Ask him if he will consider that....