How to Get Son Excited About Piano Lessons?

Has he said why he doesn't want to practice? Is it a situation where you are critiquing him while he's practicing, so he doesn't feel like he can make mistakes? Or is it that he's too busy doing fun things and he just doesn't want to stop?

If he really likes the lessons, can you tell him that he won't be able to go if he doesn't practice? And maybe make the lessons a really special time for him, like go out for ice cream with him afterward.

Also, if it's truly only 10 minutes a day, maybe try to find a concrete way of showing him just how short a time it actually is. Maybe make a specific time of day practice time, just so that he gets into a routine with it.

I hated practicing piano when I was his age. My parents made me practice 30 minutes every day. I finally convinced them to let me have Friday be a no practice day. But I did it for 11 years, and I never got as much out of it as I should have because I hated it so much and it was more a battle of wills with my parents.

I am planning to start my almost 5-y.o. in piano lessons and am hoping that we don't have a similar battle of wills over practicing with him.

When my daughter took lessons, I didn't make her practice daily. I let her practice when she felt like it. Some days, she didn't practice at all, other days, she played for hours. I wanted music to be something she enjoyed and did just for her own satisfaction, not one more item on her "damn things I gotta do today" list.

My daughter just began lessons this fall. When I mentioned to my step sister that sitting through the 1/2 hour lesson is a horror and asked how she did it for SO MANY years with her girls (both very accomplished musicians) she said ear plus and LOTS of encouragement. And I found that she is right. If I sit with my daughter and guide her along and encourage her (Omg - that was terrific - wow, that was even better than the first time, that's the best yet, you've got this song down) it helps so much as she is so proud of herself.

Also, I find that when she practices is very important. We usually do it right after dinner - she is full and the TV is off. If she is hungry or cranky, forget it.

We also use a marble jar at home. Good (whatever) gets a marble. Bad, one is removed. So if she practices she gets a marble. When the marbles reach a certain point in the jar, she gets a prize.

Good luck - it's not easy.

I think all of us parents with children in music lessons feel your pain! Here is my response to another parent whose six-year-old boy struggles with piano lessons: http://pdparenting.com/blog/?p=214.

If you're not ready to turn over responsibility as suggested above, another option is to have a problem-solving session where you ask your son for ideas to make the experience more enjoyable so he owns more of the process. This may involve giving up some of your agenda (but what better way to model compromise?)

Hi L.! You have gotten some fabulous answers. I am a piano teacher and I VIVEDLY remember being the kid who never wanted to practice. Haha! So I have a lot of empathy for kids who don't want to practice and for the parents who are doing everything they can.

First of all, your attitude is awesome and you are doing all the right things. My only suggestion is that you get a kitchen timer, set it for 10 minutes (length of practice time) and each time he whines or refuses to play a song, stop the timer and tell him that the longer he takes to practice his songs, the longer it will be before he's allowed to leave the bench. The goal is to get him to see that 10 minutes is nothing compared to 45 minutes of resistance. :)

I LOVE the marble in the jar idea that Mommy of 1 gave you. It's okay to do a reward system such as this. I use reward systems all the time in my piano studio, especially if motivation is low. My rewards are quite small, but they do the trick!

Good luck!

I'm a music teacher (flute, beginning piano & music theory) and I would say you are doing all of the right things! Also, you may want to talk to the piano teacher about your concerns, she may have some suggestions that she has found helpful in motivating the non-practicing students in the past (some studios have reward systems for practice logs and such - I know of one teacher who gives out "money" - play money - but has items they can purchase at the end if they've practice or improved at something, etc.). However, if the material he is looking at is not interesting, then perhaps he is just more interested in other fun things around the house. My daughter is 6 and it amazes me how she does not want to do her homework on boring white pieces of paper, but when I found colorful workbooks with pictures learning the same material, she sits and does the same work with little to no assistance, because she likes looking at the pictures and thinks it's a game - then she does her regular homework in no time flat, because she knows the material and she doesn't want to upset her teacher. :-)

Perhaps the material the teacher is using is not age appropriate? There are several great children's piano series out there if that is the case, just call up your local music store and ask for suggestions (unfortunately I don't have the specific names right now because I'm at work). There are also software programs that teach the same concepts, but as a game, for younger children (you'd have to have a midi keyboard - some of the programs come with the keyboard - look up the Groovy Music series). With these two things, I'm not saying drop the teacher and just use the other material... but use it to motivate him into loving it - or not... some kids just aren't into it.

Does this teacher specialize in teaching small children? Does she have any formal music education training? Those are things to consider when finding the right music teacher... this may have nothing to do with your child not wanting to practice, but thought I'd throw some of it out there just in case!

I never had much problem with my boys, they started lessons at 4 and 5, but they really wanted to play. My granddaughter is 3 and she's in lessons too, also really wants to play. I think that makes a difference.
Try to pick a time of day where you know he's not tired and there are no other distractions like the tv or radio. Get on the keyboard yourself and start messing around, chances are he might want to join you and show YOU how to play.
I'm sure there were times when I wanted the boys to exercise their fingers and I would tell them they had to practice first before they could do whatever it was they wanted to do. You are the parent. My grandpa told me his piano teacher and mother used to slap his fingers with a ruler...omg, now isnt that a barbaric way to teach?! But my grandpa, still at 92, plays wonderfully.

I haven't read your other responses but I'll add my 2 cents anyway. I learned from a very respected piano teacher and educator that your son's age is NOT the right age to start piano lessons. This teacher explained that when a child is learning to read, the part of the brain that is focusing on that is also the part that's needed to learn a new instrument and all that goes along with that so it's a conflict of interest in the child's brain and it can become very frustrating for him. I grew up with a piano in my home. I wasn't offered lessons, but I had a very good "ear" and was able to play fairly well over the years. When I was in middle school, I asked to take lessons and I did for about a year. It was then that I learned musical theory (notes, values, etc.) and really learned to read music and play fairly well and fairly quickly. I only took lessons for a year and then I lost interest. I still play better by ear. My daughter has been playing around on my piano since she was old enough to reach the keys. She has a natural ear and lo and behold, she has taught herself to play many songs. She can't read music, but she's been developing her natural ability and ear so that if and when she'd like lessons, she'll be ready. She actually taught herself to play the guitar fairly well with just a little help from my somewhat non-musical husband. If your son had little interest in playing the piano on his own and is only being "forced" to do so because your father wants him to, he'll never develop any natural ability. I have a friend who took lessons for over 10 years because her parents thought it was a good idea. She had so natural ability or ear for it and only learned to play "by the book" by reading and playing every note. If you asked her to sit and play something now, she would be unable to play a note without music and even with music, she wouldn't be able to play much. I don't know that she ever had the love of the piano. It can't be taught. Let your father's legacy be something your son actually has a love for.

I love your thinking and desires with this - wanting him to like it and such without punishment or reward.

I think the only thing he might be too young for is practicing on his own. I would suggest, if you don't already, to have a specific time each day that is practice time. A few minutes prior, give him a reminder that practice will be starting. Then when it's time, take him by the hand, walk him in there and be the teacher of sorts, and walk him through practice time. He might be too young to be very successful at doing his practice time very well. When verbal doesn't work, get more physical with him (in taking him by the hand and sitting him down and opening the book, etc). It sounds like he likes piano...just needs a little more help with getting practice done.

How awesome that your dad is paying for his musical education!

I have really negative memories of my mother nagging me to practice piano. She made me take lessons in 4th and 5th grade, even in the summer time, and she would yell out the door it was time for me to come in and practice piano when I was outside playing with my friends. I remember my friends teased me about that, too.

Why did my mother make me take piano? I'd never expressed an interest. It was her desire, not mine. Her sister's kids, my older cousins of course had a piano before us, and it was such a big deal when they played, especially for my Grandma. I think my Mom felt like we needed to follow in their footsteps.

I didn't hate learning to play. It actually was fun to be able to get to the point I could go to the music store and select my own pop sheet music to play. But I dreaded lessons, and practicing. I just wanted to do it on my own terms, if and when I wanted to play.

I was pretty good at sight reading, so I often got away with minimal pracitce. However, once I horribly botched a piece for my teacher, she could tell I'd not practiced it once, and she completely chewed me out about wasting her time and my parents money, etc. OMG I still remember how stern and mean sounding she was. I was horribly embarrased and never wanted that lady to yell at me again, so I made sure to practice out of fear. And to avoid stress and the dread of going to lessons.

Honestly, it sounds like his music teacher is nice and makes it fun if he likes the lessons. I would talk to the teacher privately about your frustrations with getting him to practice and see what is suggested. Maybe she has a chart or she can give him a little positive talk about practicing, and ask him to talk to her about when he practices and for how long, etc. He may then want to practice to impress or please his teacher. I think it comes down to personal motivation, though. If my kids do not have a personal desire to learn music, I will not force them to. I have one child who loves to sing, but has zero interest in learning an instrument. My other child cannot wait to start band next week. Even though your son is only 6, I would let how much he practices be between him and his teacher.

Have him SHOW the parent who did not attend what the lesson entailed. The parent could say, "Show me that again?" and maybe try it yourself, once for every 3 times he does it. Let him show you a few times and repeat it, and then you can try it. He'll get in practice time without realizing it. Let your child be the teacher. Will he have some sort of recital that Grandpa will attend? Will that motivate him to please Grandpa?

Also discuss with the teacher the types of things that motivate other kids. Sometimes a teacher saying, "As soon as you master Skill A, we can go on to some really fun stuff in Part B!"

My son is 12 1/2 and has taken lessons on and off for about 2 years. He is very gifted musicly and does not like to practice either. To get him to practice I take things away but that's cause of his age. At 5 I would use bribary that's what my mom did with me. It usually works. You might go on youtube Lewis Warren Jr. He is an awsome piano player that I think inspired my son. He is wonderful!!! We actaully know him personaly he goes to the church my brother is a paster at and we have known his parents for years. Sometimes boys don't like to pay cause they don't think it's a boy thing to do. They associate it with girls.

Good luck and God Bless!

Start practicing with him and just get it done. I still sit next to my 8 yo daughter when she practices. My daughter's teacher thinks my daughter is quite talented. Although she plays nicely I can admit it is not raw talent but rather persistence on my part. I sit with her and make sure she does what her teacher instructed her to do. At age 6 it really does only take about 15 minutes a day.
The better your son gets the more motivated he will be to play. Finally at age 13 1/2 my older daughter will go play the piano for pleasure. Yeah!!!