How Do You Talk to Your Children About Tragedies like School Shootings?

it wasn't so casually common when my boys were in public school, but what i did for anything awful that came up (like 9/11 which happened when they were 14 and 10) was to discuss it with them in relatively simple terms, ie some terrible people took it in their heads to do this horrible thing, and then follow their lead. my older liked to talk things out to a great degree, my younger at that point kept it all close to the vest, but would come at it elliptically later on.

like most things, honest and simple were the only guidelines i kept to.
khairete
S.

You mean - how do we talk to our kids about stuff like this - AGAIN.
And again, and again and again.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/19/us/u-s-school-violence-fast...

I get home from running errands, turn the tv on and - BOOM - yet another mass shooting.
I went through the shock and praying stage fairly quickly - it's getting to be routine - and I've reached angry.

Prayers aren't working.
Each and every time it's 'never again' - and all too quickly it's happening yet again.
Other countries have figured this out.
Other countries have drastically fewer gun related deaths.
On a good day a knife attack can take out 4 or 5 people at close range - not dozens of people that are hundreds of feet away.
We're living like we're in a third world war zone.
How free are we if we're constantly wondering if our kids will make it home alive from school every single day?
If this is what 'free' looks like - we've got a serious problem with our vision.

We lack the ability to shelter our kids from this - it's apparently not something we can prevent.
Even if you turn the tv off - their friends will tell them - and their school will have intruder drills.
All we've managed to do is tell our kids we love them every day
because we never know when it's the last time we can say that to them while they are alive.

I have always been honest with my girls and left the conversation open for them to ask any questions they want. Sometimes a simple explanation was all that was needed and they didn’t have follow up questions...somethimes they did. I always took their lead.

Also, 2kidmama...do your own research regarding the statistic you cite that there has been 18 school shootings in 2018. This is simply not true.

When my child was in grade school they went on lock down because of an armed man on campus. He spent two hours hiding behind a garbage can with a few of his friends because there was not any room left in the closets. Age appropriate went out the window that day because it became part of his real life. I listened to him, answered his questions honestly, and keep the lines of communication open as he processed what had happened.

Oh my goodness I could not believe when I heard about this. It makes me sick to my stomach. We had a shooting at a school just about 15 miles or so away a few weeks ago. One of my co-workers has family that go to that school. Listening to her on the phone trying to make sure all her family was safe was heart wrenching. This makes me thankful that my youngest is homeschooled but also scares me for my oldest in college. Hearing about it yesterday made me want to drive down to see my oldest and squeeze him tight but I could not had too much that had to be done. Or I would have (he is about an hour away). Please for those of you that have school age kids talk to them and watch for signs. And always tell them you love them before leaving.

We tell our boys that there are sick people in the world. They don't need a gun to carry out their sick behavior.

My boys are all older, middle and high school and first year in college. We don't mince words and keep it simple.

We don't watch mainstream media. I'm not looking for political commentary. I'm looking for FACTS, so I will find the LOCAL media and see what's going on there.

It's VERY sad. I'm very sorry for the loss of life that happened. The coach that tried to stop him is very commendable. Not many would stand in front of a gun for someone else.

Our schools hold drills on what to do in those situations. Several of our schools go on lockdown for shooter in the area about once a month. The schools here have trained professionals that go to the classrooms and talk to the kids about it. They send home papers of questions to ask that reinforce what was talked about we use that as guidelines.

There have been 18 school shootings in the last 45 days in the U.S. It's tragic and crazy. I talk to my 13 year old about it like an adult when he brings it up. We talk about why someone would do this, mental health issues, gun issues, and how to protect schools. His idea is why don't we put a large wall around each school with one way to get in where you have to go through security and a metal detector.

My mom would never allow us out the door for school without hugging us and telling us she loved us. Even if we were at odds with each other, she still had this routine. As a teen, sometimes I thought it was lame, especially if we were at odds. In my mind it was hypocritical (you know how teens KNOW everything) 🙄

I asked her about it a lot later and she said she never wanted any of us leaving without us hearing her tell us she loved us. I have the same tradition with my family now.

I think giving age appropriate details are good. I explain behavior like this as evil because I believe it is. The balance is there’s a lot of good too. I talk more about how one person’s decision(s) can affect so many so never fall for the notion that your choices aren’t important. It is important we stand for good and don’t ignore evil.

I am so sorry for everyone directly involved. Yet even in this tragedy, we are reading of the heroic people who made the ultimate choice to lay down their lives to save others.

If they ask questions I answer the best that I can. I always make sure to let them know they're safe. If their school doesn't have safety protocols in place to make sure that is true then get on them and bring other parents with you in this.

I don't sit the kids down and discuss anything like this at all.

Why? Because all it does is bring in the big bad world and they get afraid of everything.

If they hear about it at school then you just answer the questions.

Mine are 13 and 15. I talk to them about it like I would another adult. I asked them about the drills they do at school for a shooter situation and if they know what to do. This time I really emphasized the importance of "if you see something say something" - don't be worried about being a "snitch" because it could save lives.