How Do You (Or How Have You Been) Supported by Other Parents?

That's AWESOME! So glad you posted this.

When I was about 8.5 months pregnant and feeling as gross and unattractive as a bloated beached whale, I was in the waiting room at the OBs office. A wonderful lady said to me, "You look beautiful...so ripe and round...exactly the way a pregnant woman should look!" She not only made my day, but my entire pregnancy. I wish I could find her and tell her how she totally changed my perception of myself in those critical final weeks. She will always be one of my little angels.

I just got goose-bumps reading your story.
what a great woman... at that instant you needed her.... like a grey angel.

I was at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago with my 2 kids. My Son was in a mood... yelling to go to the "toy aisle." Me saying "no... we are just here for milk... " and having done all the prep and head's-up/warnings/distractions/incentives prior to going there.... like my alter-ego does with my kids. LOL

So he was yelling and pulling my arms in the opposite direction, pulling & pushing my grocery cart like a Nascar driver... and my Daughter being like a 2nd Mommy... we both trying to gallantly dissuade him and distract him.

Then the store clerk... walks by, side-glancing at us and the commotion. Me just flashing her a sheepish grin and saying "he loves your toy aisle... and he's t-i-r-e-d.... (wink)." So then she comes up to him, crouches down and starts talking to him saying "hi big guy, how about you tell Aunty where you get your big voice? Mommy loves you but she's not Santa Clause. How about a donut? Your Mommy is getting you your milk, Mmmmm...." and then, she... on her own, while working, led him to the donut grab-your-own thingy cubbies, and got him a donut. I went up to the check-out to check-out my groceries and the donut... but she told me it was "free." She had paid for it herself. I just about cried. For my daughter, it was a real sterling 'lesson' about charitable good deeds and how Mommies help each other out. She said, "I bet she's a good Mommy too... she could tell you were going crazy... her kids must love her... wow, I can't believe how caring she was...and she was working!" It really left an impression on my daughter. And a lump in my throat.

We all pay it forward...
thanks for the reminder.

I guess I was the nice mommy in my story. I was in Traget and this mom in front of me had a 4 year old daughter going nuts. Jumping, falling to the floor, screaming knocking things down. Other people were looking at her with that accusatory stare and she was so flustered trying to get her daughter to quite down. I squated down to the little girl and said "wow you are so energetic, I bet you could be a superhero if you wanted to except they are a little more quite and they listen to their moms because their moms are the first superhero's in each family". I guess I distracted her because she stopped still. Then all I said to the mom, is "you've got a very spiritited little girl, your lucky , because everyday can be exciting with her, your doing great". And I left. But in that few seconds you saw the releif in her eyes that someone wasn't going to tell her to shut her kid up or tell her to leave. At least I hope I made her feel better :)

I was at the grocery store. We had just moved into a new city and both of my kids were sitting in the "car cart" My daughter ( who has autism) decided she did NOT want her brother sitting next to her, starts to slap him. I am in the line to check out and it is around 5pm and busy...I calmy take her out and hold her and tell her that it is NOT ok to hit her brother. Then brother starts screaming, crying because she hit him. Trying to consoul him and calmly telling her she can't sit there because she was hitting him (over and over again) There was a really tall beautiful blonde woman right in front of us paying.. She finished paying, turned to me and said, " This might sound strange, but I just want to give you a hug" It is was sweet. It gets even better because on Sunday at church I see her again!!! We became friends and it even turned out that I knew her mom from the other city I lived in!

We have all been there. When the kid is 11, it's a different story.

When my oldest was about a year old he started to throw the "I'm tired and your paying for it by taking too long at the store" tantrum. I was at a bag it yourself grocery store and was only halfway through putting my things on the belt for the clerk to ring up. All of a sudden there are 2 angels at the other end bagging my groceries. (They were on their way out of the store and stopped to help.) I did start crying! They told me that they had both been there and knew what it was like to want out of the store fast. They even followed me to the car to help load it in the trunk while I put my son in the car seat. My son just turned 13 and I have paid it forward many times at the same store. My kids are old enough that they help now too.

Wow, your story and the others posted here have brought tears to my eyes. I try to cheer up my friends' babies when they get cranky but have not had the chance to intervene in the case of a tantrum.

I am waiting for the day when my son (20 months) acts up in public and I will have to leave the store. Thankfully it hasn't happened yet.

One of the reasons I love being a mom, because most moms know and have been there and we always have that in common. It's like being part of a special club.

Thanks for your story!

You are doing just fine. It is important to take care of yourself so you can take care of your child.

I suffered through many a horrid temper tantrum (although not as bad as yours) in stores, in parks, in restaurants, etc and can appreciate what you are going through. Mine started at six months and lasted until six years old. I thought it would never end. But it did.

I was with my sis and her son in a dept. store and he was going wild! Finally, we had no choice but to leave. As we were walking out, well my sis and I were walking, my nephew was all but being dragged out kicking and screaming, there was an older couple walking in with their adult son. The older man turned to my sis and said "He used to do that!", pointing to his son. That was all he said but it was enough. Enough to remind her that everyone goes through it and every child tests the boudaries. We had a good laugh and were able to diffuse the situation much faster because we were in good spirits. My sis and I tell that story all the time :) I try to remember where I've been whenever I see someone struggling, how just a sympathetic word or sense of commraderie can really make a difference in the outcome of a situation. Thanks R., for bringing it to the forefront again!

I just wanted to say I've so been there and have also enjoyed the support of those who have come up to me and said things like "you're doing a great job!".

My son, who doesn't often have total flip out tantrums, had one last week as we were leaving a rec center. He didn't want to be there (I was there to meet someone), but then he didn't want to leave. I had him in the stroller (he's 3), as I didn't want him running around. He starts freaking as we're leaving the building, more as we get closer to the van, I have to fight to get him out of the stroller. Now, he's 42inches and 41 lbs, but I pick him up under my arm like a football and put the stroller in the back of the van one-handed so as not to block parking. As I'm going to put him in the van, a woman who had parked a few spaces away from me walks by and says "I hope your day gets better!" in a sympathetic tone. Totally wasn't expecting it. Almost made me laugh. Definitely made me feel better. Whew

I love your post. It's about time that we see some positive posts on this board.

I had a horrible experience with one of my daughter's in which I had to remove her from an event. We were about 1 hour from home, in dangerously cold/artic temps and in a jammed packed restaurant. I had carpooled to the event so I had to get my car from valet and take out the other carseat of our passengers. Meanwhile, my child refused to put on her winter coat. One of the other mother's couldn't help but notice my situation. She leaned over and told me "I fully support what you are doing." That was the best words I could have heard at that moment. Someone supporting my decision to leave, despite the odds. I was so appreciative of her comments that I try to remember that when I see tantrums unfold in front of me.

One year later, I was in a local high end candy store a few days before Christmas. The lines were long and the staff was super slow. A young woman was trying to manage her two little boys in a double stroller. The longer they waited, the more unmanageable they became. All she wanted to do was pay for her purchase and get the heck out of there. As they got closer to the counter, they began to *scream* for candy. Finally, it was her turn to pay and she left. I decided to purchase two small pieces of candy and quietly walked it over to her in the parking lot as she was still wrestling them into their carseats. It just seemed like they deserved a treat for having to wait so long in a candy store, without even a nibble. She was appreciative of the gesture and hopefully will pay it forward to another mom one day!

I love your post! It brought tears to my eyes too. Bless every person who has ever given that gentle encouragement to a struggling mom or dad!

Your post reminds me to take that extra time to give another mom that little bit of encouragement. Thank you for that!

what a sweet story :) i think the key is that you removed her from the store. so many moms just ignore it, or even worse, make snarky comments to their own kids about how they're being a brat and they're not going to get any ice cream, thereby escalating the tantrum and causing a huge scene. kudos to you for handling this situation properly.

Aawww, she must have been in your shoes a time or two! :)

I was at the airport trying to handle a baby and a toddler alone, changing both of their poopy diapers in the bathroom when a woman walked up and told me, "You're doing a great job, Mom." It made me smile the rest of the day! I totally needed that boost. Positive people are awesome!