How Do You Know When Child Is Ready to Go Diaperless at Night?

Updated on January 26, 2009
A.S. asks from San Jose, CA
10 answers

Hi moms. My 2y10m old daughter is doing really well staying dry in her panties during the day. At nap time and bedtime, however, I'm still putting her in a diaper. She will usually wake up wet after a good long nap (2-3 hours), but at preschool (2 days/week), her teachers say she wears panties for naptime, and doesn't have any accidents. I know she will intentionally go pee/poo in her diaper if it's not taken off immediately after waking up. When I ask her why she does that, when she knows to go in the potty, she says, "Because I LIKE to go in my diaper" (with a big, somewhat-rebellious smile!). I think she's just too busy playing to be bothered with running to the potty. So, I have no idea if she's staying dry during the night and just going pee in her diaper when she wakes up in the morning. How do you know when it's time to try going diaper free? I'm thinking she's not ready yet, but am I just enabling her by still putting her in a diaper? Also, does anyone have good recommendations for a mattress protector for when the time comes for me to be brave? Thanks so much for your input!

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S.C.

answers from Sacramento on

it is time to be brave. any thick plastic mattress cover will do . also some times you can find a large cloth prptector crib proterctor then you olny have to wash it instead of the whole bed. I thick sometimes we send a message it is ok to wet when we continue to use diapers. but then some childern will wet the bed for a long time may age 10. well good luck S.

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X.L.

answers from Sacramento on

A.,

I had this discussion with my PED at my daughters 2 year appointment, I have "potty trained" both my boys and had 2 totally different experiences with both of them, so I wanted my Dr.s advice on what to do with my daughters... He told me that we don't "train" our children to go potty, at some point they figure it out on thier own and with a little guidance do it well, but when we start to push them they see that they can use the diaper as a means of control in a world they have no control over, he told me to continue to ask her every day if she is a baby or a big girl, and on the days she tells me shes a baby whip out the diaper and change her with a smile on my face, on the days she decides she wants to be a big girl assist her in using the potty and praise her like there is no tomorrow.. He also suggested taking her to the store and buying her some pretty princess big girl undies that she has picked out and to put them up out of reach but in sight so she has that constant reminder that she will get to wear them when she decides she wants to be a big girl full time.. You could apply this to your daughter with some new bed sheets, or bedding set, take her to walmart and let her pick out a new bedding set, explain to her that she will only get this new bedding set when she chooses to be a big girl at night and nap time.. if she can stay dry during nap at daycare she can do it at home as well, she does it there because she isn't feeling pushed by the care provider to be a "big girl".. Support her in her decisions and don't let your frustration show or it will take longer.. And it doesn't hurt to invest in a water proof mat, because even once she decides to go diaper free at night accidents to still happen!!

I hope this is helpful! Its working wonderfully with my Danni Rose, and its a lot less stressful on me! Good Luck!!

X.

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R.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I kept my daughter in pull ups at night until she said something about not wanting it. She was 4 1/2 years. That way we didn't have to go through the covered mattress. She had been dry most mornings for about a year before that, but about one a month her pull up would be wet in the morning. She seemed to know when she was ready. When she told me, I said "let's try it." She has been dry ever since. Beware that kids who are newly trained can go through times where they can have several accidents a day for a week or so. She did this about 1 1/2 months after she was first trained (age 3). Don't get discouraged if this happens, it is part of the process. Also, don't worry about her response that she likes to poo in her diaper. It is just her verbalizing her ambivalence to the process, also she may have picked up on that this is what you don't want to hear. Just focus on the positives. When she is dry upon waking & when she does use the potty. When she has an accident, try not to remark about it. Just matter-of-factly change the wet items to new panties (you can have her help you) & move on to next activity. This will avoid a power struggle. R. F., Mom of 4 girls, 20, 18, 4 1/2, & 2 1/2(currently training) and LCSW

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J.R.

answers from Stockton on

My son is about the same age as your daughter, he will be 3 on April 5th and my baby girl was born in May 08. My son unexpectedly potty trained about 2 months after my daughter was born, it was some time in July. We have kept him in cloth diapers at night up until we moved about 1 1/2 months ago. Right now he refuses to wear any clothes what so ever unless we are leaving the house, we put a diaper and pjs on him at night and we wake up with him stripped down to nothing. I do think the naked time has helped because he doesn't need "help" going to the potty so he will get up and go on his own. I really think the diaper is an enabler...they know they have pottied in it for over 2 years and their sibbling's are still aloud to potty in them so why not? I would really suggest leaving her in panties at night, try it out, the worst you could have is a couple extra loads of laundry. Make sure that she goes to the potty as soon as she wakes up. If my son does happen to keep his diaper on, when he wakes up I tell him he better not pee in his diaper, he better RUN to the potty :o)

As for mattress pads, if your using a crib or toddler bed still the mattress has that protection on it so it really isn't a big deal. If she is sleeping with you or, on a big mattress i would suggest on of those nylon covers they use at hotels that go completely over the mattress and zips up at the end, you can justwipe them off vs. an extra load of laundry. Walmart has them for less then $15 depending on size, I have a Cal King and we co-sleep so i was able to find one at Bed Bath and Beyond for about $25 i think.

One more thing while i'm thinking about it, if she uses a potty chair i would put it next to her bed at night so she is able to get up easier and use it. Hope this helps.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear A.,
I say let her go at night without a diaper. Don't make a big deal of it, just say "Oh, darn....we're out of diapers. That's okay...you're a big girl. You can sleep in panties for one night." If she completely freaks out, you know it's her diaper she's hanging onto and the routine of having it at night. Don't magically let a diaper appear. Soothe her and tell her she's okay. It's too late to buy more diapers right now and she can do it.
If she has an accident, that's okay. Reassure her that sometimes that happens.
And make sure you have a potty routine just before bedtime.
I did daycare and had a kid that was still being brought over in a diaper even though he used the toilet at my house like all the other kids. He NEVER had a diaper at my house.
Some of my best friends were still putting pull-ups on their kid at 9 years old every night. They were convinced he had no bladder control because he was such a heavy sleeper. I've known that kid since he was barely 3 years old. Let me tell you, he never used or wanted a pull up at my house, no matter how many his mother sent.
He slept at my house as much as he slept at his own and he never wet the bed one single time. But he wanted his pull ups and peed in them at home.
There just comes a time when you have to wing it without a diaper. Or a pull-up. I bet your daughter will be just fine and get the hang in no time.

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

If she is staying dry at school when she takes a nap i say go for it. Try it for a few nights and see how it goes. I don't have a recommendation for a liner but i would say get at least two. You can layer them with sheets inbetween so if she does have an accident in the middle of the night you can just pull off the sheet and the plastic liner and there well be a clean dry set just waiting for you. It well get everyone back to bed a lot quicker. Also i would some extra blanckets on the floor in her room so if they get wet that well be easy to change to. Try not to give her very much to drink for about 2 hours befor bed time. IF she is a big drinker at night you try to make she has more fulids during the day.
Good luck

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W.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Be brave, mama! Get that mattress pad and see how it goes.

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

Put her in panties at night and nap time and just in case put a waterproof pad on the bed to make life easier for you. If she wetys the bed don't just change her right away and start having her wash her panties in the sink herself.

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M.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Although I have a boy, I decided to go cold turkey. That lasted 2 or 3 nights. But those nights I told him if he had to go potty to call me. He had three accidents the first 2 nights, but got better by the third. I, however, decided to put him in underware then pull ups at night (I couldn't wash his sheets that many times). That was 7 weeks ago. Most nights he gets up once (it's a pain for me to get up) but he's dry 6 out of 7 nights. Usually he goes just a little and I think that's right before I gets up.

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R.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you should give it a go at night but it might take a week or so for her to adjust to not having a diaper on. Cut back the drinks before bed. I would expect a couple wet mornings but if she wakes up wet every day then it might not be the right time. My daughter was the same age and she was ready for the nights. I have a feeling yours is to. You won't know till you try and give it some time. Good luck

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