How Could I Tell If My Toddler Is Getting Proper Care in Daycare?

Hello! I am a daycare provider and encourage parents to come and visit whenever they would like to. I never ask parents to call if they are coming early or late. To me, that would be a red flag. If a provider needs to know when you will be picking up or dropping off, are they trying to hide something?? Also, your toddler should seem happy not bored when you arrive to pick him up. Also, when you talk to the daycare provider does she seem to really know your child? When you son learns a new task or is doing something new, does she mention it or has she noticed?? If your son has been doing a great job feeding himself lately, a good provider will say "wow, Ben has been doing such a great job using his spoon!". You could always ask her if she feels he is up to par on.... See what her answer is, if she is working with your son on age appropriate skills, she should know!!

As someone who worked daycare for several years in college, my advice would be unannounced visits periodically. Of course everyone will do what they are supposed to be doing at drop off and pick up times, they know they are being watched. Show up during your lunch break...pick up your child early sometime, drop him or her off a little late to see how the daycare providers are interacting with their class. Catch the providers in the act. You will most likely get a peace of mind seeing your son getting good care. And if there is anything that bothers you, you will be able to find a better provider for him. GL!

There is this thing that all mommies have it is called a gut feeling! Always listen to it and never ever ignore it when it comes to your child, so simple...You know when your child is being cared for correctly you dont need us to tell you that!

T., you haven't told us what you are worried about. I have to say that I agree with the poster that said your instinct should be on the money in most cases. However, I've met plenty of moms through the years that hated the idea of putting their child in daycare so much that they imagined all kinds of things. I've even had parents call me to tell me that their little darling has bumps and bruises at the end of the day. The next day when I ask for them to show me the spot that's hurt, they tell me it's gone. There is no way that a spot of any kind will be gone in less than 24 hours unless it wasn't really there in the first place. In any event, if it was a little red spot they could have been sleeping on it or sitting against something or it happened at their own house since in these cases the child was always fine when leaving my home and fine the next morning as well.

Before you judge the daycare, be very certain that you are looking at your own motives. If you are looking for something to be wrong, you'll find something.

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Signs of a bad daycare: high staff turnover, tv time except for an occasional movie, your gut feeling, the sounds of crying children constantly in the building, no curriculum, if your child is scared to or doesn't want to go every day--if they are happy, they will enjoy going every day . As the other parents mentioned, dropping in unexpectedly is key (I think any parent who doesn't spend a little time peering in the windows isn't doing their job)!

Definitely do surprise drop ins! Pay attention to your toddler's moods. Everyone has a down day sometime, but if he starts acting out or sad over long periods -days at a time -then look into it. Also, check him physically -make sure his bumps and bruises are normal and can be accounted for (I don't mean to make the daycare teacher tell you how he got every little bruise) but if he has a skinned place or a bump on his head or something, they should be able to provide an explanation because you know it's something he would have cried about. I'm a big fan of the daily progress reports my youngest gets at his preschool -tells what he ate and how much of it he ate and what his mood was as well as the activities they did that day.

I would inspect the facility,show up unannounced,& depending on the age of your child listen to them on what they have to say in there place of childcare..

Any good daycare will allow you to come in and observe for a day. If you have ANY concerns at all, you should do this pronto! If it is not "allowed" find another day care ASAP. That's a warning sign.

As for behaviors, watch the social cues your son is giving. Is he sharing well? Is he considerate and courteous (as much as a toddler could be expected to be)? Etc. On the flip side, is he exhibiting any new behaviors such as fear of adults, hitting, pinching, spanking his stuffed animals, yelling at or slapping stuffed animals etc..? These are all warning signs because children generally don't pick up these behaviors without witnessing them first. At least not at this age (except for hitting, which seems to be an instinctual reaction but can be a warning sign if it begins suddenly or is done in a strange fashion that you wouldn't expect a toddler to come up with on their own.)

As for education, get down on his level and go through letters, colors, shapes and numbers with him on at least a weekly basis. If he seems to have picked up more that he had last time, or if he's learning it quickly then he is getting consistent exposure to it. Same with other things like appropriate social behaviors. Try role-playing to help him exhibit his social skills. If he is on track then he is being guided appropriately. Ask you pediatrician for benchmarks to measure his development against.

That's all I can think of other than actually going in for the day and observing. To do this without offending anyone, maybe you could volunteer to come in and "help out" for the day or volunteer to teach an art class on one day or something that will put you inside where you can watch what's going on.

Good luck to you!

Well, that is two different questions to me. Care vs. teaching are two completely different aspects--unless they advertise otherwise, they aren't obligated to teach children anything.

Does your daycare actually have a curriculum? What is it that you are expecting them to teach that you don't feel is happening. Are there actually any certified teachers on staff?

Also, how old is your son? I learn a lot of stuff--real and imagined just by listening to my daughter. But she is 3.5 now so most of the earlier stuff was just crazy talk.

If he is exhibiting major personality changes, I'd definitely investigate. My daughter was acting up, only to discover that the were plopping them in front of a TV for two hours every afternoon. After putting a stop to that, the kids were actually burning off some energy and behaving!

Start by expressing your concerns to the caregiver. They just may not see a problem since they are dealing with a bunch of kids everyday...also, many of the people working in daycares are young and inexperienced. Not that they can't or don't provide wonderful care...just not able to deal with an upset/inquisitive/angry parent.

If you don't get anywhere with the teacher, talk to the director. A good one will increase their observation on the room and take action on any potential problems.

The only way you will know is if your child has a sudden change in behavior. Ex. He loves going and then all of a sudden he cries, never wants to go etc. As far as teaching him things? Depending how old your child is and also if your childcare has a program, they should let you know what they will be teaching and you can see if your son is learning from their "curriculum". Are you asking this because you noticed something was off?

Daycare isn't supposed to teach your kids anything really like counting or shapes or colors, that's what preschool is for. Some do a little of this stuff anyway, I know my friends kid knows a lot of stuff he learned in daycare, but generally daycare is just there to watch your kid and feed him and make sure he doesn't hurt himself. And they provide some entertainment, make them take a nap etc. My daughter went to daycare for 6 months when she was a year old and they sent home a sheet everyday saying what she ate, how long she napped, and when she pooped. She also brought home any artwork she made that day.

If your worried about actual neglect, I'm not sure what the signs would be.

daycare isnt supposed to teach your child unless you've got to a preschool or you've specifically contracted with your daycare to teach them. A daycare is supposed to make sure your child is well cared for while you are at work.

Is it an in home daycare or professional? My daughter goes to an in home daycare that does preschool and she brings home a ton of papers every day that she's colored and worksheets learning letters and numbers. I would think if your son's was doing similar you'd be getting his work at the end of the day or week.