I don't know what the problem is, but I cannot get my husband to steadily go to work! He has a good job, he JUST got insurance, and now, he's laying out ALL the time! The past month, there has not been a single week that he hasn't either layed out all day, or been very late saying that he "doesn't feel good" but then when I get home in the afternoons, he's up and playing around, feeling great! This is so stressful for me because #1, we don't make that much money TOGETHER much less when ALL of his checks are short, and #2, I've got some pretty serious health problems going on here, and he just got us insurance, what am I going to do if he loses his job, and we lose the insurance? I've tried and tried talking to him like an adult about this, but I feel like he KNOWS what he's doing isn't right, because he just gets offensive and angry. What do I do??????? I am stessed to the max, and I just have no idea anymore. This has been a problem with him the whole time I've known him, and I'm at my wits end!! Is it too much to ask to have a husband that will actually WORK to help support the family?? I work 40 hours a week, but I still can't make ends meet on my own, and my job doesn't offer insurance. I dunno, someone please help:(
L.,
It's hard to say without knowing you and your husband, but I wonder if he is depressed and/or avoiding something at work. Does he feel competent at what he does? Also, anger, irritability, and avoiding responsibility can be signs of depression (especially in men); are there any other signs that depression is a possibility? Maybe not, but I wondered when I read your request.
I wish you the best in any case!
L.
Why don't you check into getting your real estate license? You can get it online in some states and it doesn't cost as much online as in the classroom. You can also do it at your own pace from home. Keep your current job and ask your boss if you get your real estate liscence, can she/he sign for you as a sponsoring broker? As you learn the ropes with your current job, maybe you can sell a few houses on the side. I don't want to sound ugly, but it sounds like you knew all along that your husband wasn't a dependable worker. You need to tell him that you have bigger things planned for your future (all of you), and that you don't want to be stuck in this position forever. If he doesn't see things the way you do, then maybe you should move on. That sounds harsh, but think about it. He's not thinking of you and your son, only about what he wants to do at that particular moment. If he doesn't like to work, then ask him how he can ever retire if he doesn't make enough to save for your retirement. If you don't save now, the two of you will have to work forever. Like I said, I don't want to sound mean, but sometimes I have a hard time sugar coating things I feel very strongly about. He needs to step up to the plate and be a supportive husband and father! That may only happen with an ultimatum. Good Luck! :) Again, sorry if it sounds mean. Truly, I'm not trying to be!
Hi L., I am sorry to hear about your situation. I actually lost my job last summer and the summer before that . I know what that feels like and if he thinks he has a bad sutuation, wait until there are NO checks coming in!! Talk about depression. So I went online and found something to do from home so I would not have to worry about losing another job. I would be glad to share with you what I do and maybe you both can find some harmony and peace and happiness in your relationship. You can visit my website at http://mywhy.makemoreathome.com and read some about it. The presentation takes about 35 minutes and you can be the judge as to whether it is an option for you to do part time or fulltime. Just let me know when is a good time and I would be glad to call you. Sincerely, K.
Sounds like your married to my husband. I went thru the same thing several years ago. For, some reason it seems they don't take the financial aspect of raising a family as serious as we do. Mine is doing much better now that he has found something closer to home and it's rewarding for him. Maybe he's not happy with what he does. I can't tell you what the problem is or how to solve it. Only what happened in my case. Hope things get better soon
I have to agree w/ the other lady that you saw early on in your relationship that he was not the steady worker. And you have someone other than yourself to think about now, your son. I know that its not fair that you have taken on the responsibility all on your own, but in the end you may be better off as a single parent then trying to suport yourself, your son and a grown 'child'.
You might go and talk w/ a counselor and get some outside opinions and they will help you see things more clearer.
Best of Luck and let us know what happend.
