Home Birth--Any Regrets??

Updated on March 26, 2010
C.K. asks from Saint Paul, MN
17 answers

I would like to hear from moms who birthed at home, either midwife assisted or alone. How did it go? Do you have any regrets, or wish you would have gone with a hospital birth?

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M.H.

answers from Rapid City on

I had a home birth, kinda. It was illegal to have an attended home birth in South Dakota until about 2 weeks after my daughter was born (it has been legal to have a CNM attended home birth since July 1, but as far as I know, there's only one in the state, and she's in Spearfish). So I went across the border to Wyoming and gave birth in my midwife's clinic, which was a nicely remodelled trailer house. There was a birthing tub, a doula-in-training, my midwife, me and my husband. It was a better experience than my first birth (in a hospital) in every way. My only regret is that I didn't do a home birth the first time around too.

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R.N.

answers from St. Cloud on

I had an unassisted home birth for my baby #5. It was wonderful. I studied midwifery textbooks before hand and felt prepared in case there was an issue- but there wasn't.

All week I waited for the baby to come and finally on her Due date- at about 1 am the contracts started. I was able to move and relax and do whatever I wanted to. My water broke at 5:30 and I crawled into my tub (regular small tub, but the best I had)by 6:30 it became obvious that my position was not going to allow the baby out so I got onto my hands and knees- with my hands out of the tub and my back half in my tub and pushed- 1 push. Baby was screaming the second I lifted her out of the water.

I liked that I could decide when to cut to cord and that my husband was ready to take her when I was ready to shower, and then that we could go to my own soft, big bed. I finally delivered the placenta about 11 am when I got up to go potty.

It all really went smooth and I would do it all again.

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A.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

My first birth was a hospital birth - induced. I did it without pain medication, but it was excruciating. My second was an accidental home birth. (I had always wanted a home birth anyway!) She came too quickly to get to the hospital. Paramedics arrived just in time to catch her. But, because I was waiting for the contractions to hurt, I didn't realize how far along I was. I was able to labor completely how I wanted. It was wonderful. The next birth will be a planned home birth. There are a lot of Twin Cities women who home birth and some excellent midwives. Let me know if you need recommendations. There is really no comparison in my mind - natural birth without tubes or someone forcing you on your back is much, much better!

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K.E.

answers from Johnson City on

Hi there. I know it has been a while since you asked this, but for the sake of others that find this, I will answer.
I have had 9 children, 7 of which were homebirths, 1 with a CNM in a hospital, and 1 unplanned delivery with an OB in a hospital.
BY far and above, I think home is the best place to deliver your baby. That said, I do not think that everyone should have a homebirth...though more would love it if they did.
Certainly if a women is in good health, a homebirth is a great option.
And not every woman is high risk that doctors will tell they are....A woman should do their own research...glad you are asking these questions!
Sincerely,
K. the CanDoMom(.com)
www.TheTruthAboutHomebirth.com

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R.D.

answers from Des Moines on

It seems like a lot of people have had very positive experiences with home births, which is fantastic. I just wanted to post a note to say that not all physicians, nurses, and hospitals require tubes, monitors, flat-on-back positioning and taking your baby away. As you are making this decision, please take the time to educate yourself on all your options. I chose to have my son in a hospital because I didn't think his or my health/life was worth the gamble in the chance of a complication. However, I was clear with the nurses and my doctor about what I was hoping for and found everyone to be nothing but helpful and respectful of our wishes. I was glad I did because although I was in good health and had what would be considered a fairly easy labor and delivery, it turned out that my son had a tight double nuchal cord which had to be clamped and cut before he was fully delivered. A very good friend of mine is a L&D nurse and has seen a baby die from this complication, so I was extremely glad to be in the hospital at the time.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

My SIL has had two home births and been very happy with both experiences. She's pregnant again and planning another home birth. In addition to her personal experiences, she's a Bradley instructor. I'm sure she'd be happy to talk with you if you're ever interested.

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L.S.

answers from Madison on

I didn't have a home birth, but I did deliver in a freestanding birth center. It was a very non-medical, drug free, water birth. I caught my own son. It was wonderful, and I would do it again in a heartbeat!!! I'm actually pregnant again, and have to deliver in a hospital because I'm having TWINS! Had it been only one baby, I would have gone back to the birth center. I loved my experience so much, I will try and emulate it as much as I can this time, and one of my midwives will be acting as a doula for me.

My only recommendation is to have a Certified Nurse Midwife with you. Not only will you have an amazing support person who will become part of your family, but you also will have a professionally trained individual in the case that something goes wrong. I know there are very good lay-midwives out there, but it's a lot harder to know their credentials.

I say go for it, but good luck with whatever you decide!!!

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G.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had three planned homebirths, and they were absolutely the most wonderful experiences. I am sure they were all shorter than what they would have been in the hospital. It was so nice to be at home where I felt most comfortable. We had two midwives at each one - they usually work in teams. Actually the second birth went so fast that the midwives hadn't arrived yet! All three of them were born in the water - we rented a birthing tub, and it was just perfect. I had no regrets, and would do it again in a heartbeat. There is a really strong homebirth community here in the twin cities, and a number of homebirth midwives to choose from. Best of luck to you!

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T.P.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Hi, I have never had a home birth, but would have liked to except, I live in South Dakota where it is illegal to have a certified professional midwife attend a home birth. I have a friend who just made the trip to Minnesota to have a home birth with a midwife and despite the trip she was happy that she did. We are part of a group who are trying to pass legislation to license midwives in South Dakota. Have you seen the documentary Business of Being Born. It is a good one to see if you are interested in a home birth. There will be a showing here in Sioux Falls on Monday the 15th, at 7 pm at Elegant Mommy which is close to the corner of Western and 49th Street. I had my first child at a hospital with a Certified Nurse Midwife, but hopefully I can have a homebirth next time. Good Luck with your decision! T.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

i didnt have a home birth, but looking back, i very well could have had a home birth as well as it went! :D however, im an hour from the nearest hospitol should anything bad have happened. so...
dont know if that would help or not. but if you feel like doing a home birth, go for it! :D theres many many benefits to it! have you seen "the business of being born" ???
you should!

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J.S.

answers from Green Bay on

I didn't have a home birth and didn't really feel it was for me. (I did have a difficult birth with baby face up, so I think I was happy to be at the hospital in the end anyway.) But I kind of went for the inbetween option, which you might consider if you don't go with a home birth. I chose a midwife who is part of an office with regular doctors. So I did deliver in a hospital, but having a midwife who was open minded made it not feel so hospital-ish. Also, they've improved the rooms at our hospital recently, so I was able to sit in the shower for part of my more intense portion of labor with multiple shower heads (one of which was directly at my lower back which helped a lot). I still did the actual birth in the hospital bed, but for me that was actually the most comfortable (if you can call it that!) when I got to that point. I did take some drugs toward the end to take the edge off (Nubain I think it was) but no epidural. All the way the nurses and mid-wife really left it up to me how I wanted my birth experience to go. They offered suggestions, but didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to.

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S.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

C.,
Hey there. I planned a homebirth with a midwife. We ended up having to transfer to the hospital because my son flipped in labor to the breech position and my midwife didn't have experience to handle that. I enjoyed my labor a great deal and wish I could have finished the birth at home. My experience at the hospital was mostly fine except one really traumatic part that actually made post partum and bonding with my son REALLY hard. Since then I have been with a friend at one of the family friendly hospitals when she gave birth with a midwife and she was flat on her back with her feet in the air which surprised me. I am pregnant again and am planning another home birth with a midwife. This time I am selecting a midwife with enough experience to safely deliver a breech baby at home just in case. Feel free to e-mail me if you have questions. I don't regret my home birth for a minute.
S.

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J.S.

answers from Omaha on

My second child was a homebirth with a lay midwife who is a good friend of mine. The birth went very well. My first was natural in the hospital so I thought why not do this at home. My only negative is that I am a big worrier. At home I did not have nurses 24/7 the first day or two to answer all my crazy questions. A big stress for me was that I was GBS positive which means I should have had IV antibiotics prior to her birth- I worried alot about her getting sick because of that. But she is now almost 15mon and healthy!
Oh, and she was 10lbs!! Anything is possible right. So I guess if I were to have #3 I could go either way, hospital or home. For the hospital birth I used the midwives at the medcenter who were fantastic!!! We also used the Bradley classes. Hope this helps and good luck. :)

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L.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had my first and only (so far) child at home. I have absolutely no regrets and now that I've done it, I'm 100% for it! It was such a peaceful experience....just me, my husband, and the midwife (and later, my son). He needed a little help breathing at first, but at least the cord wasn't cut and he wasn't quickly taken away. He still had the cord attached for an entire hour after the birth and that was his main source of oxygen when he first came out. I, personally, would be scared to death to birth in a hospital. :)

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

I tend to agree with the woman who said go with your gut. If you are frustrated by privacy, policies, procedures, etc. with the medical establishment, home birth may well be for you. I, even though I really wanted a natural birth, to be left with my baby, etc, etc, was definitely more comfortable in the hospital, so I just got very demanding about exactly what I wanted--and I was never offered drugs and was offered the exact kind of support I wanted. I wasn't rude (I don't think...) but I was very careful to make sure that the nurses knew what I wanted (if it was at all possible) and overwhelmingly, they accommodated me. I hope you can have the birth of your dreams!!! Good luck!

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E.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I had a Homebirth with my first child and at a birthcenter with my second. I would have chosen a birthcenter for my first but at the time it was not an option where I lived. Birthcenter meaning a place for birth outside of a hospital. I did not have a desire to have a hombirth until I started looking into the common practices in hospitals and felt safer to have it at home. I simply don't trust all of the medical interventions that are practiced in today's medicine with the birth process. Most of all after the birth. I knew I wanted my baby with me and not in another room. At home could go with the natural process. Once the contractions started until my daughter was finally born was about 36 hours later. This was a long time and if I would have been in a hospital I am confident I would have been encouraged to have a C-section. I also would have done anything they suggested. I would have gotten an epidural or done anything they suggested to do. That is why I am grateful I had my baby at home. I trusted my midwife and she had an assisant midwife. She helped me through it. The only thing that I wish I had at home was a bigger tub. At the birthcenter it was the same philosophy of natural birth. This was great because they had a huge tub and my son was born there. Looking back I have no regrets. I do realize I was very lucky and blessed that I had no complications with either of my children. I do remember being so grateful I did not have to go anywhere after my daughter was born and so glad I was home. It was very personal and spiritual. I know many women who have had natural births at the hospital and that is where they felt the most safe. For me, I felt more safe at home. I feel that is the most important thing...where do you feel most safe and what do you believe in? This is the most important thing to look at when deciding in my opinion. Blessigs to you.

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R.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had a midwife-assisted home birth for my first (and only) birth. We found out a month before my due date that my daughter was breech, and we tried lots of things to try to turn her. One midwife (it was a pair) was willing to try a vaginal birth for a breech baby, but the other midwife wasn't comfortable with it. I found out that for a pregnancy with no complications, a home birth is as safe or safer than a hospital birth. However, for a vaginal breech delivery a home birth is less safe than a hospital birth. So I decided not to deliver a breech baby at home, and was resigned to go into a hospital to deliver with a C section (I would have chosen St. Joseph's in St. Paul). Five days before my due date, a medical doc was able to turn my daughter, so she was no longer breech. The turning put me into labor and I went home to have my daughter (with the doc's blessing, by the way). Despite our house being in remodel mode (my mom came over and cleaned while I was laboring!), I had a wonderful birth experience. I would do it again if I had a non-breech birth with no pregnancy complications. My midwife did phenomenal post-partum, nursing support (I had nursing issues). And overall, it was a wonderful experience. Bottom line: If you are more at ease in a hospital, give birth there. If you're more at ease at home, give birth there. Being at ease as much as possible will help so much with labor--how difficult your labor is will partially be determined by your mindset and relaxation. Good luck in your decision-making and go with your gut!

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