Holding Back Kindergarten Entry for Same Age Peers

My son will be 5 at the end of July and we are holding him back. He is at a private school and all the summer birthday kids are being held back. Kindergarten is full day and very academic at his school.

I spoke with many people and not one person regretted holding their summer boy back. I did however speak with a few people who regretted not holding them back. Some of the kids had to repeat kindergarten and others struggled in school and got labeled early as troublemakers.
I would recommend holding him back especially with the age range in his class.

Small class if you know only 14 boys in the grade! My son is June 6th, he started K that year he turned 5. He was ready, he's done fabulous. He's in gifted ed for reading and math. He is not the youngest in the grade, and there are boys who are 18mos older than he is. and I think holding kids back for age only is crazy. He will do fine, send him!

I live in Naperville where the trend is also to hold the summer bdays back. I chose not to hold my son back last year when he turned 5. I decided in the beginning of the school year(when he was in preschool) that I was not going to listen to all the buzzing about holding back/not holding back but just decide if I thought HE was ready. That being said he has done great. I don't see a huge difference between him and the boys that turned 6 earlier in the year. He is ahead of alot of his class academically. I also felt that if need be he could repeat kindergarten without a huge impact to him(that is based on speaking to other teachers and my mom who is a kindergarten teacher. I personally think the holding back has gotten way out of hand.

I would hold him back. My oldest son was born in august. we tried to start him. he went for 3 days. the teacher called me in for a meeting. it was decided he just wasn't ready. But the next son was born in january. he was more than ready. last son was born in last week of june. i sent him on time. he should have waited. instead ended up doing 1st grade twice. go with your own feelings. at kindergarten the fact that a the kids are older won't matter. that might be an issue in highschool but not at kindergarten level. it is more important as to whether your son is emotionally ready. if he's not and is intimidated by kids who might be a little taller or bigger then maybe do keep him back. I personally would keep him out. but that is after experience with 3 boys of my own and now a grandson who's birthday is june 23rd. he will be redoing kindergarten because he was just not quite ready and my daughter sent him anyway as an all day kindergarten saved her having to pay for daycare. big mistake as now he has to do it again.

As others have said you need to base your decision on your son, not the other students. My girls are Oct. 11th and July 5th b-days and we put them both in early. My 1st born is always the youngest in the class, her best friend is well over a year older then her! I cannot imagine either girl being behind a grade, I think they would be socailly bored with kids that are less mature than they are and as for kindergarten they were so ready having completed over two years of preschool. Putting them in another year of preschool seemed ridiculous. Others posts touch on the fact that a lot of parents hold their kids back thinking they'll be smarter and better students if they're older. The age spread in some classes is very wide and I think that's too bad. As long as you boty shows that he's ready for kinder put him in, it all shakes out in the end and beleive me holding him back will not garuntee he'll be the strongest and brightest in his grade!

I am a teacher who currently stays home with my 3 kids. When teaching I always felt it was a good idea if a child wasn't 5 by the time kinder started to hold them back and wait for the next year, so this included mostly Novemeber and October birthdays (in CA kids need to be 5 by Dec. 1 to start, not sure what it is in your state.) When my kids were in preschool I was seeing parents holding kids back who were born in June, July and August. Some had good reasons, but some really didn't...just wanted their child to be on the older side. My twins are in kinder now and one of the kids with an August birthday is in their class. He seems like he could easily be in first grade.

Most importantly you need to do what is best for your son. If you feel he is ready, I would start him. I found that by the 2nd or 3rd grade the age difference isn't as noticeable. It seems only to be an issue in the earlier grades, and honestly your son with a June birthday will be 5 and will probably do just fine. Personally I wouldn't base what to do with my son on what other parents do.

My parents did hold me back, but I was a late November birthday, so it worked for me. If you do decide to hold back you need to look towards the future as well. That means he will be 18 the June before he starts his senior year of high school. That brings a whole new set of worries!!!

So personally from just what I am reading from you, I would start him in Kinder. As he gets older the age difference between him and his classmates will not be as noticable. I taught both 1st and 3rd grades and by 3rd grade I usually had no idea who was the oldest and who was the youngest unless I looked at their birthdays. I remember thinking one student must be one of the older students and then looked at their birthday to only realize he was one of the youngest.

I don't really think I'd make a decision to hold my child back due to other kids, I would make my decision based on his readiness for kindy. If you hold him back and next year, the kids mostly have late birthdays, he could end up being the oldest, and I don't feel it is a benefit to be the oldest over the youngest. Not everyone will be me, who has both kids with late June birthdays and a December cutoff. Also remember that kindergarten is one year, there will come a time when the age difference will not matter. When he's in third grade, 5 months and 9 months difference isn't such a big deal but your choice can affect him for the rest of his school career.

I agree with the lady don't hold him back because you have doubts. Let him go.....if he is as mature as he thinks he is, he will fit in just fine and do well. I was older (Dec birthday) than a lot of kids in my class and I felt left out at times due to this fact.
Let him go, if he doesn't do well, then he can stay back, but if not, let him be him! Be sure to support him either way. He will love you for it.

Hi,

I can understand the anixety feeling of why you dont wanted him go to just cuz of he age group of kids that be in his class who birthday is late or early but dont hold him back just cuz of that. I know it hard to feel that he may be left out cuz there is no or lil kids that will be close to his age.... it just natural to feel that way. I will still let him go and go on with it. My son is a june boy and my second son is a october boy and my second son go to school late cuz his birthday is late and he is year younger than my older son is. he suppose to be in the in the kindergerten at age 5 but he was in kindergerten at age 6. I will not hold back cuz of that it just silly to think that. every kids will not be in the same level of age groups as long they are in school and catch up... i hope it can ease up the silliness of age group. he will be just fine.... good luck

My boy will be 5 on June 9th... I have concerns with sending him to kindergarden eventhough he has been in preschool for 2 years. My concerns were not so much with when his birthday is, but he is developmentaly delayed. I was asked by the doctor when I had planned on sending him to kindergarden... my responce was "I'm not sure". That I didn't know if he was ready or not. The doctor told me "for no reason what so ever should you hold him back & out of kindergarden." So, I'm going to follow doctors orders & sign him up later this month to start kindergarden next year.

He is looking forward to going to school again w/ his sister who will be in 1st grade. He will most likely be one of the younger kids in the class & also one of the harder to handle boys (because of his delays). But we should have a "plan" from the doctors to give the school before he starts in Sept. He has been going through different testing to see what extra help he will need & are setting up summer help for him which will then carry over to school when he starts.

If need be, we will let him repeat kindergarden... but I think if everyone follows the "plan" and he get the extra help he need at school, home & with the doctors/specialist he won't have to repeat kindergarden and will be able to continue w/ his class till the end. But if he does - he will be just following in his mom & dad's foot steps since we both were in kindergarden twice for different reason... but we also both found out later in school that we are dyslexic. Which in time we might find out that is the reason for some of our son's delays since it can be passed down & our kids have a really high chance of it w/ both parents having it.

If you feel your boy is ready - don't hold him back.

hi
my son is a November baby as was the only 4 year old in his kinder class.. a class of about 17 students.. they all play well together and in now way have picked on or belittled my son for being younger. He is now in 3rd grade and still with those same kids and it's life as usual. in fact, my son is top of his class and is very social. I would at least give it a try and see how your child adapts.. you can always pull them out IF need be... I am glad we did it... IF I hadn't sent my son to kinder at 4 , I would have always wondered If it was the right thing to do.... now.. I know it was...
Also, I look at it all this way, whether grades or in social situations, most kids will RISE to the occasion . Give it a try.. again, you can always pull him out... I don't think it's a big deal .. now if your child had some developmental issues , then perhaps I would think twice about it... Also, the reverse can be true too... you have an older children and he/she acts younger.. it's all so individual...
best of luck

Hi, J.---

This is a tough question. I think what is most important to keep in mind is how emotionally ready you think your little guy is. You said he is friendly---being overly shy would be a huge concern for me. You also say you feel he is academically ready---also very important.

Kids are so different.....my daughter has always been very mature for her age, but my son is not (he might be right on par for his age---but, compared to her, he's always seem a little immature). Chances are quite good some of the boys in his class are going to be less mature than him---and certainly less prepared academically---so, in my opinion, his age is the least important factor, and I would send him based on that.

But that still doesn't make the decision any easier for you. I would recommend making an appointment to sit down and talk with the person who would be his teacher, if you can. Express your concerns, and get input (s/he should be somewhat of an 'expert' on kids that age, I would think!) Take your son with you---allow him to see the classroom---see how he reacts to everything in it. Then make your best decision with the information you have----and remember that if he seems to be struggling after school starts, you can ALWAYS take him out and wait till next year.

But, J.---the fact that he has a Mom observant enough and concerned enough to ask these questions makes me think he's going to be JUST FINE!! :-)

.

My son's birthday is end of Oct. For where we are, you have to be 5 yrs old on or before the last day of Sep in order to begin kindergarten. The only kids who are older than him in his grade are the ones with early Oct birthdays and there are not very many. Although there are exceptions, most boys do well starting school as late as possible. The extra year of maturity really helps when it comes to sitting at a desk for long periods and listening to / following instructions. My son's the tallest in his class (he's in 5th grade right now). I thinks his size helps keep him bully free. He's a black belt in taekwondo and he's a gentle giant, but if anyone thinks of starting any trouble, he knows how to stand up for himself.

I don't know that I have ever heard a parent express regret their decision to hold back or not hold back. So, I think that no matter what you decide, it will be the right decision for your child.

One option that you might look into is having him attend a private kindergarten. I have a July baby that I sent "on time" and a July baby that I held back, but I have a May baby that I couldn't decide one way or the other. I enrolled her in a private kindergarten and figured that if she had to "repeat" I would have her do the second year at our public school. That way there was no "stigma" with being held back (she ending up not repeating).

Good luck!

From what I understand, what is expected of children nowadays is different than when I was growing up. Children are expected to be able to read quite a bit by the time they finish kindergarten. When I was growing up, we weren't taught to read until we started first grade. I did very well in school, but I probably would not have been ready to read by kindergarten.

Some of the most literate countries don't teach reading in school until children are six years old. I think there is such a big difference in a child's ability to identify letters and words between age five and six. I don't know that teaching a child at a younger age will help him read any earlier. Same thing goes for potty training a kid before he is ready.

My son is a late July birthday, and I plan to hold him back from kindergarten until he is six years old. My younger brother was an August birthday, and he had to repeat kindergarten because he just wasn't ready. I am not trying to give my son an unfair advantage over his classmates. I just want him to have a fair shake -- especially since he is on the small side. Puberty tends to come late in my family, so I am thinking this will help him to feel even with his peers when he is in high school too.

Good luck with your decision. This is a very hotly debated subject these days. Just do what you feel is best for your son.

There are many answers to this so I will go with my own experience. My son was born in Dec, which made him one of the youngest in his class. 14 boys are a lot of boys by the way, my son has never been in a class with more than 8 boys out of 21 children, so 14 boys are awesome. When he was finished w/ kinder I knew throughout the year he wasn't able to consintrate on some of the work and he wasn't as mature as the other kids so I kept him back for another year in kinder. A world of difference, and he never really had an issue repeating it. He was so much more familiar with the program and class expectations that the second time was the charm and now he is a confident 1st grader and 6 months older than most of his peers in the class. If you believe your son is ready put him in. If there are issues as far as maturity or can't handle the curriculum then you can decide to repeat, and it causes no problems for their confidence just boosts it. Boys are usually less mature than the girls and some moms will say look towards their middle school H.S years would you want your boy the youngest in the class? Puberty effects this as maybe if your son is so much younger he will possibly be the last to hit puberty and that might cause him discomfort socially. Ok, I didn't mean to give you both sides of the coin but, turns out I did. Bottom line, it's about the confidence you have in your sons maturity now that should weigh into your decision.

you can't base it on girls and boys in his class because it will constantly be changing
base you deicision on your child not whom he might play with

i would send him

Holding back has concequences. First, if he has any difficulty learing to read he will miss out on one full year of targeted intervention before the best reading window closes around the end of third grade. It may not be any problem for him at all if you can see into the future and know for sure that he will not encounter a problem that requires speicfic intervention. Schools do not recognize a child's needs until they are below grade, NEVER age. So, you take a risk.

Second, check the stats way into the the future. Children who are older than thier peers as teens are statistically more likely to drop out, use drugs, and have contact with the juvenile justice system. I guess you could give weight to the fact that so many parents have already done this, and he would be running with a whole group of kids who are older than they should be for thier grade, but (having a teen myself) that does not sound so good to me.

If he is ready, I would send him. You have something to loose - a year of intervention if he needs it, and there is a possiblity that he could have bigger concequences down the road.

Think hard.

M.