HELP...My 4 Year Old Son Doesn't Eat Well.

Make it fun!! No artificial foods even if its convenient
Please get a blender and some organic frozen fruits. Try smoothies w/ some whipped cream... You have to train his brain to want fresh foods other than the processed stuff!!
All is going to be well it will be step by step but all will work out. NO shakes. Please try the smoothies and stay positive.

OK, I have a child like this too...and in my home, we absolutely DO NOT feed anything processed...in other words, I cook everything from scratch with fresh ingredients to avoid the bad chemicals you find in food. What I did when mine was in this phase was to make chicken nuggets from scratch. I also made him try everything I cook, at every meal. Trust me, there were times he had to sit at the table for up to two hours while he was refusing to try things, but after a while, when the other kids got to finish and go watch TV, he would finally give in and try the food. To put some weight on him, I started cooking him pancakes for breakfast. They are healthy, especially if you use honey instead of that stuff they call syrup (which I found out- the "syrup" in stores is all cornsyrup with added color these days- hard to find real honest to goodness syrup anymore unless you go organic- which I have) I would cook a big batch on Sundays, and ziplock bag them in threes so I could just reheat one serving and save some time in the mornings. The pancakes did put 5 lbs on my skinny boy, but after he has gone through the trial food stage, he eats everything except salmon. His fav veggies are asparagus, zuccinni, sweet potatoes, etc. he used to not even like veggies. Now I can hardley get him to eat meat at all, he wants veggie plates. Having good nutrition is so important, processed foods dont have much, so the body sends it all out as waste, hard to put on weight when you arent eating healthy. Children arent going to fatten up like adults because they are so active. When my son was in his ice cream phase, I started making him fruit smoothies instead. All natural ingredients, and much better for him, and he loved the way it tasted.
We are still going through this with my step son, he is nine, and hates everything except macaroni and cheese- which is almost all his mother feeds him, and he is quite chunky as a result, so I am trying to slim him down, while trying to get my son to put on weight.
And if a child is eating right, it doesnt matter if he is a little slim. It just means he has a high metabolism. But eating junk food is sooooo bad for a body.
To answer the question about getting picky eaters to try things, we tell them "If you try it and dont like it, fine. But if you wont even try it, you will never know- so try it or sit at the table all night till you give in". I also have a habit of telling them that their tastebuds change every 6 months, so they have to try it all at every meal, just in case.
Another option is to make the foods they like, like pizza, but make it a healthy pizza- (yes, there is such a thing)
by using fresh veggies, less cheese, less of the fat loaded stuff.
Children are too young to know what they like is bad, it is our job as parents to make them try the good stuff. My poor step childrens mother is always on whatever "fad diet" is popular at the time, and feeds both kids microwave meals, since she cannot eat the same foods. As a result of this, the kids are defficient in major vitamins and minerals, they get sick all the time, they have little or no energy, the boy is 15 lbs. overweight, and the girl cant seem to concentrate on anything at all. They are so lacking in zinc that they have white spots all over their fingernails (tell tale sign) and their tongues are cracked all over (signs of lack of the b vitamins) It is sad. But since I went organic last year, they are doing a little better. They drink only juice at my house (no soda for kids) and eat fresh, good foods. My step daughters grades have come up. My step son has started eating vegetables (which he used to not do at all)
I guess what I am getting at is that kids are smart. Explain to him and talk openly with him about nutrition, what can happen to the body without it, what foods have it, which ones are bad for you, etc.
On the syrup thing, I bought the organic syrup, and a bottle of the pretend syrup (all name brands)- I sat them down and read the ingredients to them. The organic syrup had "natural maple syrup"- that was it- then I read the ingredients of the other one... 5 minutes later, after I listed all the fake stuff and chemicals, they all chose the organic syrup.
I do that with all new stuff. My rule of thumb is, if it has more than 3 things in it I do not recognize, or cannot pronounce, I wont buy it.
I just read the list of ingredients to them, they always make the right choice on their own. I am always preaching "good healthy eating habits" to them. Funny, the other day, I heard my son preaching to another kid about how some foods are bad for you, even when they taste good. I was so proud.

Do not give HIM the control. Serve him what you want him to eat, and nothing else. He will catch on. You can make it more enticing by offering a dessert for those who finish everything, but you have to be willing to play hard ball. Start out with small portions, and make sure you start the day with a multivitamin chewable. He WILL NOT starve himself. If you want to make small changes at a time give him some fruit and veggies with something he likes, like pizza or nuggets, but ONLY serve the food he likes once he finishes his fruit and veggies. Also, play around with a VERY WIDE VARIETY of fruits and veggies, served in many ways. We do most of ours raw, but I was surprised to find one of mine likes green beans raw, and another likes zucchini over cooked. The most important part is to stay constant. If you tell him he can have it after he finishes, do not fold. If you offer dessert, even if it is nightly for a while, and tell them they need to eat a good dinner to get it, stick with that.

Also, just a thought, my sister will tell her kids they HAVE to eat 3 bites, I like this premise, however if I am offering a dessert I DO NOT THINK 3 bites is sufficient to qualify for dessert. But make sure portions are reasonable.

I also teach my kids, from VERY EARLY, why it is important. I even have them watch TLC's "Honey, we're killing the kids" when it is on, so they can see that size does not necessarily determine health, and that to be healthy they need to properly fuel their body. I printed up from the internet the many things the differently colors of fruits and veggies give our body, and posted it on the fridge for a while, so they could look at it as they tried all the different fruits and veggies I brought home. And Skippy has a REALLY REALLY good all natural peanut butter. It is still high in fat, but serve it with apples, to encourage them to eat apples. Even with apples, do not assume they like what you do. I have one who likes green apples, and they all prefer them softer.

Also, one of the tacts they you on 'Honey we're killing the kids" is to have them help make the food. It encourages them to eat it, bc they made it. Kids love to try what they have made. Or get a creative cookbook and make it fun to eat, ants on a log for example.

I have slowly employed all of these, and my kids eat well now. There are still things they do not like, but they eat VERY WELL. Good luck, and remember it is worth the small battles, to get them healthier.

(On a side note, you would not believe the results of parents who allow the kids to dictate what they eat, I have a few friends whose young kids, 8,10,11,13, have dangerously high blood pressure and cholesterol, I have even seen a teenager with type 2 diabetes. Pretty scary, and they all feed their kids what the kids want, instead of trying to teach them healthier habits and enforcing it)

I'm so sorry to hear that you're dealing with this. I know it can be frightening. Jessica Seinfeld wrote a neat cookbook called "Deceptively Delicious" and I have seen others in the cook book section of the bookstore. They contain innovative ideas for sneeking healthy foods into your kids diet. They might be worth giving a try. Hope this helps. Good luck!

C. A,

You are in luck! My kids were in the same boat as your middle child. I learned of Nutrilite vitamins through a friend. The one that my kids are using is called Nutrilite Braniams. They are shaped like "little fish".

Check out the vitamins your children need, I bought them through Quixtar at

www.mholmes7.qhealthzone.com

On a more personal note my husband a Personal Chef.

He can design a meal plan for your middle child that he will love. My two year old and ten year old reap the benefits. Can a three year old eat squash and baby carrots, sauteed with butter and seasonings?

A Taste of Thyme
Personal Chef/ Caterer
____@____.com
###-###-####
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Ok I'm with you on this my 4 yr old has been acting the same way for a few months. Here's what I've done I buy no chips, ice cream or junk food lately. I buy yogurt tubes and freeze them as ice cream treats, I but beagle chips or multi grain peda bread and toast. I make a small plate at dinner time with strawberries, grapes, celery, carrots (baby), and some cut bite size melon. I put tooth picks in it on a sep plate I put cut up baked, grilled or pan cooked not fried chicken on another small plate and I make like mac and cheese or mashed potatoes. Drinks are fruit smoothies made with frozen fruit and oj and a little water. I freeze banannas dipped in choc for a treat. Veggies are difficult sometimes well a lot so I make them some cooked some fresh like above. We make pita pizza's I have veggies out to use sometimes my kids put a few on theirs sometimes they don't. I make muffins and add baby jar food to them like blueberries and even in brownies. You may also want to check out the sneakychef.com she has some great ideas as well. As far as the Mc d's goes tell them once during the weekend only if they get hungry they will eat what you have only you have the power over the food that's in the house. My 4 yr old can only have what is at our house..sure he refused for a day or two then he got hungry eat and things tasted good to him (he was hungry) that's way it tasted good.
Best of luck that's what has worked for me.

Hi, C.! Just a suggestion here, I am a 51-year-old mother and grandmother attempting to complete my college degree. Recently I took a science course: The Science of Nutrition that was very interesting, and there is a terrific FREE web site you may want to check out. Go to www.mypyramid.gov and the web site will guide you by putting in your child's age, gender, and weight. My Pyramid provides hints and suggestions on the appropriate foods for your child (or children, if you want to check it out for all 3 of them). It is a great resource and tool and it is FREE!

I will be interested in hearing your feedback! Best wishes to you, C.!

~B.~

I have a 3 and 5 year old. I use Meal Shakes from Shaklee. www.shaklee.com I have a Vita Mix blender and the kids love fruit drinks with nothing but natural fruit. If he eats spaghetti puree carrots or some other vegetable in a blender with the sauce and he won't know the difference.

Give him no options of other food. We require our children to eat what is on their plate if they don't eat it by the end of the meal they have it for the next meal and so on until it is gone. When I say this I am talking about small portions not adult size. It may be 4 or 5 bites. They will soon eat it because they want something different.

You could also try to get him involved in making the food. He will be proud of what he has accomplished and should want to eat it. You could use cookie cutters for sandwiches.

I hope this helps and soon he will be adopting better eating habits.

Our second son, now 8, had this problem when he was a toddler. I kept telling my pediatrician that something was wrong. He would only eat yogurt or pudding and sometimes bologna or hotdogs. I knew it had something to do with texture. The pediatrician told me I was overreacting, but D went from the 95th percentile to the 5th percentile in just 3 months when I weaned him from the breast at 17 months. It wasn't until that pediatrician left the practice and I was assigned someone else (why I didn't leave that ped in the first place I'll never know), that I finally got an answer. The new doctor had him sent for testing to see if it was something physically wrong. There was not, and so they sent him to a feeding therapist (didn't know such a thing existed). She worked with him for a couple of sessions, and when I came for the third she had me answer a long list of questions about his development. At the end of her interview, she looked up at me and said, "Has anyone ever mentioned the word Autism to you?" I felt like someone hit me in the stomach with a 2X4. I knew in my gut that he wasn't autistic, but I also knew that something was wrong. Eventually they settled on the diagnosis of Dysfunction of Sensory Integration. He started seeing an occupational therapist when he was 2, and he graduated from the program 2 weeks after our 6th was born. He was 6 yrs old. He is not "cured," but he is functioning so well that no one else even realizes that he is "different." Of course I'm not saying that your son has the same issues, but you might try exploring other possibilities besides his just being a finicky eater! HTH

My two oldest sons were the WORST eaters ever... I call them the "great pukers" because they would actually make themselves puke if they didn't want to eat something. This is what I did and my oldest eats almost everything now without giving grief (although he still doesn't like much, but he's respectful enough to eat it). Several parts...
1) Rule is no faces or complaints when they come to the table. If they even so much wrinkle their nose they go to the corner for their age in minutes (face the corner). I explain to them that I worked h*** o* the meal and it's rude to act like that. I remind them how they would feel if I made that face at a picture they worked very hard drawing for me.
2) I put a ridiculously small amount of food on the plate (think 1 tablespoon of each course). They have to eat everything on their plate before they can have anything else. If they are still hungry, and want more meat, they have to eat the tablespoon of green beans first for example.
3) Happy/Sad jar... I got 2 glass jars and painted a happy face on 1 and a sad face on the other. I filled both half way with stones. Their goal, and both share the jar, so they have to work together and encourage eachother, is to empty the sad jar. Once they empty the sad jar they get to go someplace cool, like Chuck E. Cheeses, as a reward. They get to move a stone from the sad jar to the happy jar for trying something new, or eating everything on their plate without me having to fuss at them, or any other good table behavior I want to encourage. They move a stone from the happy jar to the sad jar for doing the opposite (i.e. complaining, taking an hour to eat a tablespoon of greenbeans, etc).

I know it's long and complicated, but it works, and even if they don't eat, at least they are not rude at other's homes or out in public.

Good luck! Meal time has been the hardest part of parenting for me.

My son was a picky eater and wouldn't eat anything but pepporoni off of the pizza and chicken nuggets from McDonalds. However, I discovered that he would eat anything on a toothpick. I started spearing anything and everything. Sometimes he would eat it and say he didn't like it. That was acceptable but he had to try everything. Now he is a champ. Every now and then we have issues but for the most part he will eat whatever you put in front of him. We went for two weeks where he ate nothing but goldfish breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. But his doctor said not to worry this was normal.

Good Luck

B. M.

What has your ped said about his weight? Does he say it's a problem or is it ok? My oldest child (also a boy) was an eater like this at that age but as he's gotten older he has become more adventurous with his food. He is also very thin for his height (he is 50% in height and more like 15% for weight) but he eats like a horse. I think some kids are just inclined to be skinny kids, so unless your ped says he is suffering in some way nutritionally or healthwise I would just keep encouraging him to try new things. Eventually he will get tired of eating the same things and will want to try something else. Also I think it helped that I would praise his sisters at the table for eating something for the first time. They would also make a big deal over how good it was which would make him curious to try it. But don't push him directly because he will just resist you, however sibling rivalry works in your favor in this case!

Like my own mother used to tell me, they will eat if they get hungry enough. My children (two boys) were never picky eaters--in fact they've gotten picker as they've gotten to teenage years. Be careful with emphasis on food because we can create eating disorders if too much emphasis is placed on food. I never agreed with the clean your plate theory--I always went on eat what you want on your plate and know that if the food isn't finished, don't ask for a sweet snack--they could ask for non-sweet snacks. What does your pediatrician say? That would be your best source. Have a blessed day.

It is sooo difficult when you have a picky eater. Are you sure he is just being "picky", or could there be a medical reason-loss of appetite, lack of weight gain. I also have a picky eater. I too have been concerned lately, so at mealtime I offer him one thing that he likes (some type of protein) along with 2 other things, usually a fruit and veggie. I had to stop giving him snacks( only giving him water between meals) so by the time he sits down to a meal, he's hungry. It was hard at first because he was pitching fits like crazy. Now if he is hungry between meals, I offer something healthy. If he chooses not to eat it, I know he's not really hungry. If he doesn't eat at meal time, he gets nothing until the next meal. It took about 2 weeks for him to see that I wasn't going to give in(and I wanted to give in just to stop the fits). It is horrible at first, but he eats soooo much better now. I also cut out most of his sugar intake. You can also maybe add some fruits to his shake. I also puree alot of veggies and add them to foods. I hope this helps. However, if he is already skin and bones, you will have to be careful if he refuses to eat anything at all. Just know that you're not alone-it's very hard when you have a picky eater.

Genetics are so funny! I'm convinced they play a part in people's likes/dislikes when it comes to food. My husband and I have 5 children between us. His two from a previous marriage, my one from a previous marriage, and our two new ones together. His kids can't stand certain things (onions & most veggies) One has a big sweet tooth (just like my husband). My child likes veggies (broccoli, asparagus, & most others, like me). Our two together are a mix. Our boy (also 4)is just like his older brothers with a big sweet tooth. He even only likes sweet meat like crab and ham. Our little girl is like me and will eat just about anything. I know the two who are big sweet eaters are also very sensitive to smells. And they smell things that I don't even notice. If something smells "different" to them they won't even try to taste it. Good news, the original sweet eater is a healthy 18 year old 6'2" 175 1bs who can't keep the chicks away. Now that he is older he does think more about what he puts into his body and his girlfriends also influence him to try more things. I would not worry so much, but I also would use the sweets sparingly and maybe find some things that are naturally sweet that he would like. Remember smell and texture are as important to kids as taste. Don't push him and he may decide to try things on his own when you aren't looking.

I also had a picky eater when she was young. She probably had more of a reason though. She had sever reflux as a baby. She is 15 now and still has issues with the textures of some food, but eats well now. When she was about 3 years old, all she wanted was chicken nuggets and Reese's Cups. I also used to give her the supplement shakes for calories. We used pediosure as well as a prescription powder that we would add to food. I personally felt that the shakes made her feel full and she did not eat as well. That is not always the case though. As long as your child's doctor is okay with the current weight gain I would give your child whatever you can get them to eat. Chicken nuggets and ice cream are better than eating nothing. Once your child is a little older they might try new foods. I always offered new foods to my child at every meal and never forced her to eat them. She eventually would try some (depending on the look and texture) and found that she like them. Please check with your child's doctor first though.

I had a seriously picky eater. I hid good food in her bad food. I pureed squash in her mac and cheese. I put veggies everywhere. I also had one night a week we called try and buy it day. If they picked out one new (healthy) item to eat that day I let them pick out a snack or item they wanted. Through that we all learned she liked broccoli of all things. We tried fruits & veggies, yoguets, cheeses everyhting. The stranger it looked the more fun we had cooking or preparing it to eat. Dragon fruit kiwi silly looking items are fun to play with! We play with our nutritious food to make it fun!
Also remember Mom Mantra "This too Shall Pass"
Hang in there!

C., bless your heart. My son, who is now 11, has always been a picky eater. I was a very picky, and VERY stubborn eater when I was young too. My grandmother did the whole: "you will not get up from the table until you clean your plate" thing, and I would literally sit at the table for hours until she gave in. Her favorite story to tell is about how she told me that if I did not eat my vegetables that I could not go to Sunday school, which I loved, and I still refused. She then felt absolutely horrible by keeping me out of Sunday School.

Some children just seem to have this tendancy. My son still has a problem, although it is not as bad. I had trouble getting him to try anything, but made a point to get him to at least take 1 bite of whatever he refused to eat. He would always fuss and make horrible faces upon trying these 1 bite items. Some of those items eventually worked their way into his diet. He would not let me know he liked them until later down the road.
I had gotten to the point that I made sure all of the bad things like chips where not available in the house. And if they were in the house I always told him that to get chips, he had to eat a certain number of bites of his food from his plate. 3 big bites or 5 normal bites was a common deal.
Just remember that you are in charge, and it is our body's natural survival instinct (even at 4 yrs old) to eat when we are hungry and to not starve ourselves. Let him know that you are not going to allow him to eat junk, and that he can have treats only if he eats healthier food on a more regular basis. I think that the shakes are a good way to supplement the nutrition that he is not getting, but you have to keep trying to find items that are good for him and still make him think that he is not eating healthy. Try sweet potatoes. Those are sure to trick him into thinking it is a treat, when they are actually very healthy.

I wish you all the luck. I know I was a horrible eater...although I would eat all the meats they put on my plate I just never wanted to eat my veggies. My son has a problem with the unknowns and the way things look.

It may take a while, but I think you can work with him to get a better diet going into his body.

A fantastic resource is the series by Ellyn Satter, a pediatric dietitian. She has books on infant feeding all the way up to adolescents. I have worked in feeding clinics for failure to thrive kids and in childhood obesity programs and can empathize with your struggles. Eating issues of any type can be stressful. You probably need to seek some extra help to be truly successful in changing your health and nutrition, like with a peds dietitian or a local support group. It is a hard thing to do, but fortunately you are starting early enough to really make a difference.

C., I remember the day I gave in to my 2 year old's picky eating. She was a preemie and was always a little behind in the "normal" weight charts. She is 12 (of normal weight) and still picky, very difficult to take to anyone's house for dinner or to relatives for holidays. She eats chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, pizza, pbj, loves sweets, green beans, broccoli and applesauce. That's about it. It has led the way for her 3 younger siblings to be picky too because I catered to her. At her age I now worry that this will catch up with her in weight gain. There's only so long a child can eat fried food and carbs before it starts to show in health areas. My strong advice....be the parent, stay in control of your child's diet. You are teaching them the healthy way to eat for life. If they don't eat then they don't eat. Sounds strong, I know. I didn't do it and I regret it every day. It would have been much easier to do it with a toddler than to try to get a pre-teen to try new things. You serve what you are eating and provide no snacks when they get hungry. My daughter would eat huge breakfasts of cereal or pancakes on the weekends, I think because she was hungry from the night before. Don't allow that either. Stay tough on this one. It has long term implications. Your child won't starve himself. Oh and don't let your pediatrician make you feel guilty. Normal is a little different for every child. As long as your daughter is healthy in every other way, stand strong on the diet.

Note from a grandma. I've not heard of any child starving when food was available. If he is healthy, he will eat when he gets hungry, I believe. Forcing kids to eat begins a weight problem. He maybe getting attention with his control over food. Maybe ignoring bad behavior and attention when deserves might be the answer. Some folks are just thin, and don't eat as much! Just idnore it for a day or two and see what happens. Be careful where he is when you talk about it too. I hope this will work. Talk with a pharmist they can often offer suggestions for mutrition choices. Something to get him started. I'd cut out the sweet things! Even the other children don't really need the sweets and overloaded food so give him a chance to get hungry and see if he won't come around. Let the other two talk about how good their food is and ignore his wanting the attention. There are a lot of things that goes on with the middle child. Not the biggest, nor the smallest often left out or feels left out! Find ways to make him important other than food related. Don't let him use food as a tool for attention.

Hi C., My granddaughter who is 4 years old, was that way when she was younger. I had my daughter put her on vitamins because she didn't drink milk. I bought the PolyVisol vitamin drops. We started putting the recommended drops in her orange juice in the morning. She started getting an appetite and gaining weight. Now she eats everything. She didn't use to like sweets but now she even likes some sweets too. She has definitely gained lots of weight and she is solid.

I am an older mom and I went through the same thing with my son when he was small. I guess I must have been talking about it one day and an older lady told me that if I could get the vitamins with the bunny rabbit on the box in him, that he'd develop an appetite, and develope one he did. If I forgot to give them to him, he wouldn't eat. I don't remember the name of the vitamins, but I know for a fact that they do indeed work. They are liquid, so he might not be able to get past the taste. If they can be put in the fridge, it might help the taste a little. I pray that this will help you and your son. I remember the anguish that I felt.