Help with Son's Friend

I'm sorry you have this issue. My daughter had a similar situation when she was about 8 years old. We did talk to the parents but not much was done on their part so I limited the time she spent with her and let her friend know she was not getting away with the lying in front of me. I would very calmly tell her that is not true or that is not what happened. She soon learned she couldn't lie to me or while she was around me. I was never mean about very stern and very calm. It didn't change the little girl but it made things easier on us when we were around her. Good luck.

I would bypass the mother and deal directly with the boy.

Obviously this is a child you will want to closely monitor when your son plays with and does activities with, so you should have an instance pretty soon when you can do the following...

When you witness an outright lie get right down to his level, look him square in the eye and quietly say "You and I both know it didn't happen like that. You do not have to make up stories for me and (my son) to like you. We like you just the way you are. But if you continue to exagerate or lie it will make us not trust you. We can't be friends with someone we don't trust. Do you understand?"

The next time it happens repeat something similar and pretty soon he will get the drift that he doesn't need to lie or exagerate around you guys at least, perhaps it will rub off elsewhere.

It sounds like mom has to much on her plate to effectively parent this little guy. Sometimes it does "take a village" but the village has to be watching and willling to intervene when a situation occurs.

We had a similar problem with a boy one of my kids played with. I would just quietly and privately call him out on his lies and exagerations and pretty soon they stopped around us.

I agree 100% with Heather, but I would add that you also should have a talk with your son. See if he notices what's going on with his friend, and discuss why we don't treat others that way. This could be a good teaching moment for you to explain to your son why honesty is so important.

when he is at your house or around you he needs to follow your rules. let him know what the rules are and when you witness doing ti confront him and remind him that it not allowed in your house. andmake sure that if he cant follow the rules he will not be allowed to play at your house. he needs attaention and that is whey he does these things. give him possitive attention or maybe and incentive like ifhe behaves and doesnt lie or blame andyone for an hour they can have a cookie

Your number 1 job is your kids. I have a similar situation around where I live. My daughter doesn't go to school with this other girl, but I don't let the 2 play together. I don't want my daughter getting in trouble for something she didn't do, and I don't want my daughter picking up those habits. It it wasn't affecting my daughter, I would consider helping the other child, but I would have to remembr my #1 priority.

is there a school counselor that you could talk with? this is a behavior problem that should be addressed with the parent and the child

Hi R.,
You're in a tough situation for sure, wondering if you should say something to the mom, or not. She will probably get offended if you do say something to her because some parents do, instead of trying to rectify the problem, they take it personally.
I for one, as a parent, would like to know what my son is doing outside the homestead. Kids act differently at home, than at school quite often. So parents most times, don't really know until it is mentioned to them.
That boy is clearly going through some security issues because of his broken home, but it certainly doesn't give him the right to continue, or get away with lying. He is clearing wanting attention, and probably does what he does to get it.
I'm a direct person. Usually I speak my mind. Sometimes I hold back for the right time, but how do you know when that time is?
I would kindly talk to that mom about what you have witnessed. If you aren't able to talk to her face to face, then I would go to the school counselor and talk to them about how this young man is acting and that it concerns you that he needs some one on one attention and perhaps talking to someone about how he's feeling will help him.
Ask your son to try his best to stay away from that boy because that boy does things and acts a certain way that is not appropriate and not the way you all do things.
Hope this helps. This is a tough situation to try and come up with an easy solution, but I don't think there is one.
May be it would be best just to go straight to the school counselor and let him/her know your concerns and that other parents are witnessing some of these actions themselves. Hopefully that school counselor will take immediate action and start talking with that young boy. Kids are so fragile. What we adults do affects them in so many ways, and kids often express it in an unhealthy way because they haven't achieved the skills yet to deal with their feelings in an healthy way. I hope he gets some help. And I hope you start to see a difference in your son too. :-)

Am I the only one who sympathizes with "Eddy Haskell"? It sounds like he's going through a lot and acting out as a way of dealing with it. If you forbid your son from playing with him it will only make him more appealing to your son. I think you should treat him with a kind but firm hand and call him on his stuff when the other kids aren't around.

Is this Mrs. Cioffi???????
This story sounds familiar
Deni