Help with Fussiness

I really can't add much to what the other two Mom's have already told you. Bottle feeding is just not as much work for the baby as breast feeding, so she probably isn't getting as much from her sessions with you as she does with Daddy and the bottle. I love the idea of letting Dad feed her a bottle of expressed milk before bedtime, wish I had thought of that when I was breastfeeding!!!

I just want to congradulate you on actually breastfeeding! My daughter is now a year old and between having very large breasts and a baby with a super small mouth which was tongue tied she couldn't latch on. she tried and I tried but she couldn't get enough out and it seemed that when I pumped I never got enough out to fill her up.

so I suggest if you are worried about her not getting enough as the doctor. it could be that when you pump more milk is dropped and she just might not have a strong enough suckle to get as much. just an idea to consider.

I agree with Cher. Bottles are so much easier and faster for them to eat. Nursing takes work, is slow, and lets face it - you're probably very comfortable to cuddle with... which just sets the scene for dozing off.

We used to give our daughter a bottle of expressed breastmilk each night before bed. It gave my husband an opportunity to snuggle with her and feel like he was a part of the feeding process. Plus, we got her to tank up on more milk that way and usually got a better night's sleep out of her.

One other thought just occurred to me... Is she having any trouble with her latch? She might have gotten a little lazy about it if she prefers the bottle. Maybe she's getting more air while she's nursing because of an improper latch and it's causing some discomfort. Are you noticing gas after she nurses? Just a thought.

It sounds like she is falling asleep when she nurses, so she is not getting a full feeding. It IS a huge inconvenience to pump and give bottles when you are right there; don't fall into that trap. If you go to a La Leche meeting or call one of their volunteers, they will help you. They came to my house when I was desperate. If it weren't for them, I could not have breastfed. They are not pushy, but they are FREE, very kind, and only want to help. Here is a link to meetings local to KC: http://www.lllusa.org/web/KansasCity.html If you are in another area, go to www.llli.org, and on the drop down menu for "Find Local Help," select US, then your state, then city, etc. Get in touch with someone. It is SO worth it.

I wouldn't consult your doctor for "what to do". If you need consultation regarding nursing Le Leche League are the experts. 3 months is a BIG growing period. Lots of nursing - "giving in" and giving a bottle is reinforcing that easy, pour in your mouth feeding. Don't give in, just consistently offer the breast as often as she desires it - it get's easier and better :) You'll both be healthier and happier for it in the end!!

My older son stopped taking the breast entirely when he was about 5 months old. He preferred his (breast) milk cold, not warm.
My younger son much prefers the breast, but as a working mom, I can only be there so much. He takes the bottle when I'm not there.
I've found that he does sleep better with the bottle, unless I am very intentional about making him nurse as he sleeps. (He falls asleep nursing regularly.) To help him keep nursing, I rub my thumb behind his ears, take a deep breath (sigh/yawn), blow on his face, or significantly change position. He doesn't wake up, but he does keep nursing.
Hope that helps!

I'm sure you have enough milk to fill your baby up, but she enjoys the cuddle and contact so much that she forgets to eat, and she falls asleep, only to wake herself up when she is hungry. When you give her the breast milk in a bottle, she doesn't have the distraction of comfort and she gets down to the business of eating. She gets filled and is content. This is really your choice, you can put up with the inconvenience of pumping and bottle feed to make sure she is full and doesn't wake up or you can breast feed and wake up twice as many times. To me this is a no brainer. Sure it's inconvenient to pump, but I would rather pump and have a happy contented sleeping baby, that produces a happy unstressed fully rested Mom. Breast feeding can be wonderful, but in my book, a happy baby and a happy Mom is more important. I have 5 kids, I know what I am talking about. If you don't already have one, look into the electric pumps. Goes faster, takes less time and is way easier.

My daughter will be 3 months old next week and she's always been a little fussy and my husband and I even thought a little colicky maybe, but a few weeks ago it was obvious to me she was over tired during the day and at the same time she started eating more frequently-every hour, sometimes 30 min. Between constantly feeding her (she's breastfed) and trying to get her to stay asleep(she always fell asleep eating but would never stay asleep when I'd put her in her bassinet or crib)I was about ready to lose it and started to worry about how she'd be for her sitter when I go back to work part time in a week. She also woke up 2 times at night too. So a few days ago I tried a schedule of some sorts and it seems to be working-she's not near as fussy and is falling asleep on her own in her crib and sleeping anywhere from 6.5-9.5 hours at night. Maybe your little girl is over tired and that's why she's fussy and eating so much. This is what I've done since Friday and it seems to be working, my daughter is much more happier when she's awake and wakes up from sleeping cooing and not crying like she used to which I've read if babies wake up crying that means they haven't gotten enough sleep. I try to keep her on a 2.5hr schedule-I'm flexible with it though, she wakes up, I feed her and the KEY is to keep her awake for a full feeding-I have to rub under her chin or her cheek to keep her going. That takes about 25-30 min. Then she's up for 30 -45 min which is playtime and starts to get fussy towards the end so I swaddle her, give her her passy and put her in her crib. Half the time within 5 min she puts herself to sleep, the other half sometimes she cries for 5 min and I go back in give her her passy and she's out. She sleeps for 30-40 min and then I start the cycle over. I adapted my own version of this schedule from the book Baby Wise which I'd heard was a cry it out book, which I could never do, but I haven't found that to be the case at all and she hasn't cried more than 10 min when I put her down for a nap and she hasn't cried at night so far. So far it's working out for me, you might want to give it a try. I was reluctant to, but I'd done everything else I could think of to make her more happy, so I figured I'd give it a try and it seems to be working. Good luck!

I agree with another person your baby likes you and your comfort. If your baby is gaining weight, she is likely getting enough milk from you. Has the difference been happening for a while or is it something that is just now occurring?

Are there other issues going on with breastfeeding and letdown? I had an overactive letdown with my son. He was/is a very oral child; latched on great, and nursed accordingly. With the strong letdown, he couldn't handle the oversupply and would scream and was fussy with breastfeeding, particularly when he was tired. This was very stressful. However, it is something that eventually works itself out as your baby learns to regulate the flow. Both my kids were super fast nursers - done in 5 minutes. Is your baby looking for comfort or food during the day? Is your baby going through a growth spurt?

Is your sleep and nap routine consistent when you are trying to "rest" your baby. Is there something dad is doing different either at night or during the day. Do you respond quicker at night than the baby's daddy does? With my son I found I had to distinguish between the time he wanted to nurse and the time he wanted companionship. I let my husband respond to the companionship cries. I took the feeding calls. I also found that I was much quicker to wake with every baby sound than my husband was. Tired babies are more easily overstimulated and crabby. Naps for both of you are good during the day as well.

I think La Leche League is a great resource. Before jumping to the conclusion that your baby is not getting enough milk when you breastfeed vs. bottle feed, I would journal what exactly is going on. You have not indicated that your baby is not growing so I am assuming she has probably figured out the latch after three months.

My daughter was fussy all the time and she was breastfed as well. She refused to take a bottle though, but, like yours, would only eat a few minutes on each side. My son was breastfed and he was a happy baby. When he was 2 weeks old though, we both got thrush. It hurt soo bad to nurse him so I started pumping and feeding him. He took the bottle with no problem. After that I started pumping and giving him a bottle since I knew I was awaiting surgery and he would have to take a bottle then. Then, I continued pumping and feeding him the milk from a bottle. I did that until he was 9 1/2 months old. I was lucky and was able to put about 20 oz out only 3 times a day, so that made things easier for both of us:) Some people say it isn't worth the time, but for me it was the perfect solution. I hope this helps.

Hi M.,

I had a similar issue with my oldest daughter. She nursed fine until about 2 1/2 months and then she would only eat for a little bit and be done, and then want to eat again in an hour or so. I was exhausted and couldn't take it anymore! I started pumping and fed her bottles all day and then nursed if she woke in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning. Yes, it was a LOT of work, but I continued until she was 5 months old when we were ready to switch to formula, and if I hadn't done the pumping/bottle thing I would have stopped BF much sooner b/c I couldn't keep up and was about to lose my mind to a cranky baby that wanted to eat all the time! :) I worked out a schedule where I would put her down for her nap and then pump so I pumped as often as she ate...I actually kind of enjoyed it b/c it gave me time to catch up on a huge pile of magazines that I normally didn't have time to read, and once I got through those I read several books. It's not for everyone (and I couldn't do that with my new baby because my toddler is too busy!) but it can work out really well if you want to do it. Good luck and if you have any questions please feel free to contact me!

Enjoy your sweet baby! :)

~R.

It sounds like it could be a case of nipple confusion. My twins were 12 weeks premature, I pumped and they were tube fed. When they were big enough we gave them bottles and I triied to nurse them, they took to the bottle, but lost weight if I breast fed them. I agree that it is an inconvenience but, pumping and them bottle feeding may save your nerves. I am not an expert (my twins are 17 now), you may want to ask your Dr. if he thinks that could be the problem. Some babies take preferences, for my twins the bottle was easier, my 3rd child had no problem nursing. My sister wanted to bottle feed her son and he refused, she had to breast feed him.

A bottle is easier, and because they dont have to work as hard they actually can get more into their tummies with less work. They can get tired when they nurse and go to sleep before they have as much inside their tummies. With a bottle she is probably getting more, just because it is easier.

Hi M., I had a simular problem with my first. First what kind of bottle are you using? Are you using one that is as hard to get the milk from as nursing? Remember that nursing is a heck of a lot harder than the bottle. It may simple be that she can suck that bottle down with no problem and with nursing she is working harder, gets wore out and then falls asleep before she is full. Just a thought.

It sounds to me like she is not nursing as well since you have went to the bottle part time.It is easier for them to get the milk out of the bottle than the breast.Although it seems she will still nurse it doesn't seem like she's really wanting to do the extra work to fully milk the breast.Since she is eating closer together,fuusy,and not sleeping as well.If it was formula in the bottle I would just think it was the difference between the formula and the breast milk but since she's doing fine with the breast milk out of the bottle...I think she's not getting enough out of the breast but not ness. because your breasts aren't offering it.

I'm no expert, but my daughter was the same way for about the first year (a little longer even). She's probably just waking up to have the comfort of you. They have a sucking reflex for about the first six months - it's a need for babies. She probably has figured out that the bottle is it and daddy doesn't provide what mommy does. That's what it seemed to be for us. They figure out early on what they want and how to get it. Plus babies do tend to eat more with bottles - it comes out faster so that might be another piece of the puzzle.