Help to Toilet Train My Four, Yes Four Year Old Son...

My son is 2 1/2 and has started, out of the blue, asking to use the potty. He does best when we're all home on the weekends and he runs around with NOTHING on. Last night, after his tubby, he ran back into the bathroom and used it all on his own. Try the no bottoms thing for a couple days and see if it helps. Good luck! I'm in the same boat!

Go straight to underwear (except for nap/bedtime until he wakes up dry). Don't try to get him to use the potty. When he has an accident he isn't going to like the way it feels. After 2-3 accidents (I know it's a pain to have to clean up but it will work) he should get the message.

Speaking from personal experience......... I would go cold turkey.... underwear all the time, except at night!! I agree what someone else said, after a few uncomfortable accidents, I bet he will change his tune. It does sound mean..... but in some kids, it does work. When he does soil his pants, dont be in any rush to help him change......... he will connect the dots and realize this isnt something good to walk around with wet pants! Best of Luck

I would suggest a mix of everything that people have already said. Put all potty items away for a week or two, enough time for him to forget the fights lol. Then when you are ready to be home for a few days (make sure you get all of your shopping done BEFORE you start this!) take off his bottoms, all bottoms, and let him go. Just like a normal day except no outings. When he has an accident, don't yell at him, just clean it up and let it go. He may be looking for extra attention, and if you get upset or remind him to go on the potty it will do more harm than good. Put a pull up on him at night/nap time and make sure you remove it as soon as he is up. You will have messes, but it has worked with both of my kids and everyone I have suggested it too. After 2 days of no or one accident, give him underwear. After 2 days of that, try a short trip out. The public potty will be your next challenge! Hope this helps!

Been there! My son just FINALLY trained at the age of 4-1/2, and used to put up a big fuss too. It may help to back off for a couple weeks, but just casually read a "potty book" or two. My son also loved the "Elmo's Potty Time" video. This keeps the concept in their head, but without pushing them and causing them to put their backs up about it.
I was convinced my son would be going to Kindergarten in pullups, but an amazing thing happened - one day he announced he needed to go potty, he went, and since that moment has been completely toilet trained - even at night. Not one accident. So the good news is, your son WILL go when he's ready (even though it seems hopeless at the moment!)and is likely to be done with it. I think some kids seem to want to wait until they can do it perfectly...they seem to know when that is. Keep it positive, avoid power struggles, and try to make the idea of going potty fun - singing songs, silly rhymes, the lure of really cool big boy underwear, etc. Good luck!

Yes!! Have him put underwear on for a couple hours a day. Potty training tapes work because they end up singing the songs and then something clicks with them. And most important a reward!! Whether its stickers or a favorite food or just something special. Consistency is the key!! Sticker boards always worked for us. Look online at pampers, or even charmin, sometimes they have kits that they can send you for free. I got mine from pampers that came with this thing that they got to press the button when they went and it was Dora, Spiderman, and that song from the commercial "you got the power"!! It worked. So try that and good luck. It is a long process but he will get there!!!! We also had the Peter potty and both my boys loved it!!!

I have 3 boys, 2,4, and 6. I think it's a huge control issue. I let my guys run around in the yard naked. Yes maybe a little white trashy, but it takes away the chore of it. Lots of praise when they went (evan and reece trained at 3 years, braden is just starting to show interest. I joke with my friends and say that i don't start training (or teaching) until they can express interest in writing. I'm joking, but I think what's important is they don't feel pressure about it. Maybe a picture of a favorite toy (we just got aquadots) on the fridge, and casually say that you can get this special toy as a prize for doing such a great job on the potty. Not to keep referring to it, but having it there as a reward. I also used to keep a little potty, even out near the TV so they would sit and watch TV and not think about it too much. Maybe he's afraid of the big toilet too? I hope this helps. -N.

my girlfriends daughter will be 4 soon and this too is driving her crazy. her pedi basically says not to worry about she'll go when she's ready. my son at the age of 5 regressed after being fully potty trained to having daily accidents. his was a control issue, he just started kindergarten and i was pregnant. the school counselor actually told me to have him help me clean up any accidents that he had. he was only having accidents at home. so after about a week of helping me clean up the accidents stopped. you could also try setting a timer for every 2 hrs. thru out the day, even have him set it to get him involved and when he hears it he knows it's potty time. good luck remember this too shall pass and then it'll be something else! :)

Is your son in preschool? If so, does he go when he's there? A friend had a similar problem and she basically said, "Enough. You're not a baby, you're 4 years old. You're wearing underwear and it's up to you to decide what you're going to do when you have to go to the bathroom. If you have an accident, it's up to you to clean yourself up." The kid wet himself and she did not clean him up and he had to do it himself-he got new underwear and that was the end of the problem. Sounds kind of cruel, but preschools and especially kindergarten won't tolerate that and kids are cruel and they'll tease him!

My son turned 3 in June and has just recently started using the potty. I understand your frustration. My daughter (now 7) was using the potty at 1 1/2 and for my son to take "so long" to go potty, was extremely frustrating for me. His pedi told me to just leave him be. To continue using the pull ups (they were always wet :-(, by the way)and just give him time. Just 2 weeks ago, he said he didn't need pull ups and believe it or not he uses the potty all the time and doesn't even wet the bed.

So I say, just give him some time and be patient... They know when they are ready. Might I suggest using the pull ups that get cold when soiled. They really feel uncomfortable in those. I wish you the best of luck!

I think you may want to try the pull-up for now. I know it's easier when you're training. They make so many types, from color change to cold. Maybe they would help. Try to look at your Library. In the Children's section they have lots of books and movies. Maybe these would help you. You could always try to ease him into the potty by having him sit to brush his teeth. Hope you keep trying. Things will get better.

D.
Oh My...we are living the same nightmare! I have almost 4 yr/old triplets-the other two are girls but the one that i mention is a boy. The girls have been trained forever-and he does not care one bit. I am soooo frustrated and I think we are headed for a trial of No Pants, he just wets etc anytime I put a pullup or underwear on him. Lets see (from my girls) have you tried bribes? candy or toys-sticker chart-potty every 20 min with egg timer- i have seen a kid urinal at BJ's recently, and though I have not bought it I think that my son would like it because he does not want to sit he will only stand. I would love any ideas that you have tried also if I dinot mention them. Thanks\

S. _+3

Hi D.-
I'd say get rid of the diapers-go to pullups or underwear and don't mention anything about going. The more pressure they have, the less they are going to do it. My son (almost 3 1/2) was screaming no no when i told him to try to go potty. i laid off of the subject and then he up and went one day and now goes with a rare accident. As of right now, when he feels like he needs to poop, he goes and puts a pullup on as he has no desire to go in the toilet. then it's straight back to underwear. You just need to remember, they will do it when they are ready. Good luck!

Hey D., I completely understand your frustration. My daughter was potty trained for pee at 2.5 yrs, but she just started pooping in the toilet about a month ago, and she is almost 4!! It was so hard to understand. She had the control down, she knew not to go at school in her pants or when we were out, so she would hold it and then go in her pants at home. So I completely had her in underwear. I refused to put a diaper on her, and my pedo said no matter what I can't turn back now. B/c she may think its okay to go in her pants if I put a diaper on her. We would buy princess underwear and when she pooped in them we threw them out. It was hard not to get upset with her, but my pedo said whatever you do just be calm about it, and she will go when she is ready. So when she had an accident that is what we would call it, and we would just say next time try and feel it, Oh and the elmo bathroom thing on line helped too. We also did bribe her and told her she would go to the toy store and get to pick out a new toy, however, now everytime she poops she wants a new toy!!! LOL. So basicly when your son is ready he will go. But he needs to be in underwear. He needs to know that it is not okay for him to go in his pants. And if he has an accident that is okay. But if you out diapers on him then he will think its oksy to go in his pants. Good Luck!

Hello D.
I am a nanny with 10 year experience with potty training, and boy can it be a challange. Expecially in boys!!
The last crew I trained with triplets. I used a star chart sysem with stickers and they recieved a prize at the end. As hard as it is, and as mean as it sounds, at some point the diapers do just need to be taken away. A lot of preschools don't even except children in diapers. I would pick a day that you know you will be at home for the next few days. Buy new underware with characters that your son likes. Completely take away the diapers and try to do fun things to keep his spirits up. (Bake cookies, play fun games, crafts.
Best of luck to you, it can be a challange, but it is one that will have to be conqured eventually. All children go through it at some point. Unfortunatly some are a lot harder then others!!!

letting him run around in plain undies may do the trick.. once he pees himself he may hate it.. just plainly tell him, the only solution is to go on the potty.. BJ's has a kid's urinal for $30 too.. kind of neat.. explain to him they don't make diapers his size anymore so he has to do it before he grows.. try undies inside the diapers, bribery (Webkinz did it for me!!), quarrantine (don't go places with him anymore-means being home bound but he'll get bored soon). there's a good book too - Everybody Poops... not sure who wrote it.. I also got a cool book "Tinkle Tinkle Little Tot" and it's all songs and poems that we would only read or sing on the potty.. they are cute songs..

good luck.. my son was almost 4 when he finally did it on his own.