Help Please - I Got a Runaway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a 3 year old, and we live on a dead end road but the only house past us seems to be home to Mario Andretti. My fiance and I have put up the green plastic lanscape fencing around the yard, which is one option.

As far as harnessing goes, it is for his safety, until he can be trusted to stay in eyeshot, it may just be the only thing that works.

Good Luck!

My daughter used to do the same and I thought she was lost a pair of times. Do you want to discourage him running away? Don't block his way out; Give him twice his own medicine; Join him taking walks at random! Take him out for a really long walk when he is somewhat tired, until he is really tired several days in a row and he will find out it is not as exiting and ...might even propose by himself to do something else different from walking away from home.

Next time he sees the chance of getting the door open he will think twice once you are thrilled to join him as you've discouraged him with the idea of getting too far. But use the time during long walks to make sure he gets the idea of not going out to explore on his own; point out company is better (carrying him a bit of the way, buying and icecream, or handling out a bottle of watter that he was not expecting you carried out) and as a reward you will shorten the outings and get to pick fun places for next time. (Then change the walking part for planning an outing for places at a driving distance that he can not walk). He will (in time)be thrilled to get to guess the next outing and will wait for your company.

Change the idea in his mind at a good pace and he will never get out without you. Don't over do it or he will seriously get plans to get out without you joining.

I'm sorry, but I can't help stopping at the point where you say "when he comes back home after being found"....??? He is only 4 years old!? If this little boy has a tendency to wander off....what I don't understand....is how does he? You need to keep an eye on him every second....yes....every second. Kids are quick and can be quiet. Do you realize what could happen to him one of these times?

M

Get an over the shoulder (not a wrist harness)it fastens in back and has a short leash. This is good for the mall, etc.. and dont listen to anyone who says its cruel for a small child to wear it. Its cruel for someone to steal your wandering child. I got one for my daughter when she was a toddler through age five (she wandered a lot at home and outside the home). Also we put up fence around the whole yard and installed an alarm system.

Slide latches on the top of the doors leading outside are another great tactic, since even with a chair for assistance, most small children cant reach them.

Now i no why my grandma used to tie my father to a tree, just so she could hang the wash and do chores, otherwise he would get away and did as he got older. lol.

J.,
After reading the previous replies, I'm going to do my best to give you some answers. First, children are not usually tested for ADHD (or any other psychological issues) until they are in school and there are issues that have arised in school and school work. This usually occurs about 1st grade. Both of my sons were diagnosed w/ADHD in 1st grade, two separate school systems. My eldest nephew was dianosed in 3rd grade, while his younger brother was not diagnosed as having any developmental issues.
My daughter, however, has had some issues w/disappearing acts, which would occur in the middle of the night, while the rest of us were asleep. I had lived in an apartment and she would turn the doorknob, open the door, and go upstairs to the apartment of an elderly neighbor. I had no idea this was going on until about 3:00 am there was a loud knock at my door and there was my daughter w/my elderly upstairs neighbor. She said my daughter told her that she couldn't open her door. The doors automatically locked when they were shut. So what I did was I called my brother and I had him install a latching lock. This particular lock is quite easy to install: it was a hook (on the door) w/an eyelet (in the door frame). We placed it quite high, moved the living room furniture around, so my daughter couldn't reach it.
With all the above in mind, you might want to consider having such a lock installed. If you rent, you'll have to discuss installing such a lock w/your landlord. When you, make sure you mention that this is stricktly due to the safety issues of your son's random strolls. My friend's mom had a door handle installed on her kitchen door which you have to fiddle w/the door handle to open it. I'm not sure how much it costs, but what I did left no room for my daughter to figure it out. ;-)

wow, my son who is 4 1/2 does the same thing. I ahve had to call the police before. He acts like he understand that it scares me, but he does it anyways. I feel your pain.

Hi J., I have not heard of this before but I can tell you what I would do... I would put something on the doors so he cannot get outside by himself, whether a childsafe doorknob cover would be sufficient or a chain lock put up high where he cannot reach, maybe even one of those inexpensive magnetic alarms that go off when the connection is broken (window or door opened) what ever keeps him from getting outside unnoticed. I would also volunteer to take him on "family" walks a couple times a day he might have excess energy to burn and it couldn't hurt the rest of the family to get out there. I hope you can keep him safe, my son ran away from me once at a supermarket and after searching the store I went outside to see him walking through the parking lot towards the store with two nice ladies! Thank heavens, I was lucky.

Oh my. Yes, that would be scary. I'm not so sure that he "really" understands how dangerous. Maybe you need to have a very good conversation with him on how people sometimes takes little girls and boys away. I think it is important to not "baby" this situation with "child talk". It's just too dangerous. Be firm and set a consequence. Tell him next time you and daddy and his brother are going somewhere he is "not allowed to go" he will have to stay with a sitter because you "cannot trust" that he will stay at your side. Also, I don't like the harnesses...especially on a 4 year old. Perhaps get a double stoller? Plenty nice ones at garage sales. It's hard to diagnose a child with ADHD at 4 years old by a pediatrician. If you want an accurate diagnosis, please check out the specialty psychiatry dept at Boston Childrens Hospital...however, my guess is that he is just extremely adventerous, happy and likes exploring. Take care and keep me posted.

I have had this issue b.. one morning i waas sleeping it was about 630 and the phone rang it was the kids school which is on the same street.. they told me they had my children ages 3 and 5 at the time.. at first i thought it was a joke it happened to be april fools day i said no u don't my children are in bed thank you she said no dakota came to school andf brough t his little sister along.. i freeked i ran up the road and got them then me and my husband installed those little alarms the hook to ur doors and go off when the door is opened we put them on the kids bedroom our bedroom and all doors leading outside .. there not extremely loud but we were close enough to the door that if it went off when i was sleeping i woke up.. and if your awake u will surly hear them.. it worked for me i hope u find a solution.. but also at 4 when they are in the exploring stage you really have to watch them at all times kids are very sneaky....