HELP, My Son Just Moved to a Big Boy Bed and He Keeps Waking Me Up.

Updated on September 18, 2009
J.H. asks from Buffalo Grove, IL
10 answers

My son just turned three last week. He decided a few days ago that he is ready for his big boy bed so I took down his crib. For a couple of months now he has shown a lot of anxiety during the day where he is afraid to be left alone even if I walk into the next room. Now this anxiety has come out at night where he is afraid to go to bed. I start out by staying in his bed while he falls asleep. This usually only takes ten minutes. The problem is that when he wakes up in the middle of the night he starts screaming and crying while running into my room. He wants mommy or daddy to sleep with him because he is scared. I try and get him to come sleep in our bed but he wants his big boy bed. Nobody in the house is sleeping well and I am not sure what to try next. Please help!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from Chicago on

My son was the same way, I tried sleeping with him at first and he would wake up and look for me. So now he goes to bed everyday at 8:30 and he has his fav pillows and blanket, we put on the night light and close the door. He used to cry for 10-15 minute but that stopped after a week. We really tried to do the same thing every night and get him into the bed before he was too tired. It was hard but now he sleeps good in his bed and loves it.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.K.

answers from Chicago on

One tool you could use to help him with the transition is a really great nightlight we bought for our daughter. It glows as the moon at night, and then switches to the sunshine when she is allowed to get out of bed in the morning. (You set the times for moon and sun to come on.) She is comforted by having "her friend the moon" with her through the night, and the sunshine keeps her from running into our room at 6am.

The nightlight is "Good Nite Light" and can be found online. I know this won't solve all the issues, but it may be one thing that helps. Good luck with everythi

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.A.

answers from Chicago on

Absolutely stop laying in his bed until he falls asleep. You are making it so that he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep. Everybody wakes in the middle of the night, but most people just roll over and fall back to sleep. This is a skill that your son needs to learn himself. Have a bedtimes routine that you are comfortable with. Bath, book, song, etc....Tuck him in, maybe turn on a night light, say good night and leave the room. He may protest at first, just keep bringing him back to his bed, give him another kiss and leave the room. Don't argue with him or bargain with him. Be consistent, he will get the point that he needs to stay in his bed. He needs to develop the skill of putting himself back to sleep in the middle of the night or you will be doing this forever. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Chicago on

J. do you have a side rail on the bed? is he afraid he is going to fall out? My sons had a side rail you can buy it at anywhere like walmart, target etc. it has 2 arms that slide under the mattress to hold it in place. the other suggestion is to make sure the bed is next to a wall. so he feels secure. some kids don't feel secure if the bed is in the middle of a wall and open on each side. my son is 19 and hates hotel beds for just that reason. says he feels like he is just out in the middle of the room lol. but try the side rail it may help.
good luck
S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.E.

answers from Chicago on

What my son use to do is take all his stuffed animals and put them around him like a barrier. It was like he had his own little army protecting his space but I think the real reason was to make his space seem a little smaller. Almost forgot that we also bought wall paper that had stars that glowed in the dark and we wall papered the ceiling so the glowed for a couple hours after he went to bed. He loved it.

Just a thought.

S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Chicago on

I hope that the following articles might help you...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

I applaud you for being sensitive to his pain and his needs, and staying with him for at least part of the time. Perhaps he isn't ready to sleep alone yet. Three years old is still very young for sleeping alone. We had a family bed (with several mattresses on the floor together) until my kids were about 12 and 8. In most cultures of the world people never have to sleep alone. You might be interested in finding the following book in your local library...

http://www.amazon.com/Family-Bed-Concept-Child-Rearing/dp...

Best wishes,
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.O.

answers from Chicago on

I say let him decide if he's really ready for the "big boy bed". Make him agree to stop calling out and waking you up - explain that everyone else needs to sleep too. If he can't do it, bring the crib back in (temporarily). Have him sleep in the crib and nap in the "big boy bed". Maybe there's some toy/reward that "big boys" get when they continue to sleep through the night - like picking out big boy sheets, wall decor, etc.

Also, we used a step-release gate for our daughter's room when she moved into the big bed. Partially to prevent wandering/falling down the stairs. But also to keep her in her room, for MAJOR timeouts or naptime too. Her big motivator to be a big girl was to get that gate off the door - eventually.

Sounds like he needs some motivation to be a big boy.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.A.

answers from Chicago on

I use a small tiffany style lamp for my daughter. I leave it on all night (using a energy saving bulb). Plus I put classical music on for her until she falls asleep. Sometimes kids just need to wake up to a soft light.

K.L.

answers from Chicago on

He's too old for the sneak away. You only use that with tiny kids who don't remember why they were upset from one minute to the next. I think that's making it worse bc he has an expectation when he falls asleep and when he wakes up it makes sense that he freaks out bc you are gone and he expected you to be there. It's better to be straight forward with him, even if it makes him upset.
Is he afraid of something specific? My cousin recently did the most clever thing to get her son to sleep alone w/o being afraid...she made a sign that said "No Bad Guys Allowed!" and put it on his door. That was enough to make him feel safe. I've also heard another person gave their kid a water gun and told them the water was a special solution that kills ghosts and boogy-men so he could sleep with the gun and "shoot" the bad guys he perceived as being a threat in the middle of the night. It worked great except that sometimes the carpet was a little wet in the morning! :D Good luck with your little guy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.A.

answers from Chicago on

We focused on the decor of our son's room. He loves super heroes. So we equipped him with the sheets, a lamp, and decal appliques for the walls to "keep him company".

It's a tough transision. Good luck

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches