Help! My Daughter Hates Her Bed!

Updated on January 08, 2011
S.C. asks from Bowling Green, OH
8 answers

My youngest HATES her bed. She cries at the sight of it! (I guess it's technically her CRIB, not her bed). This is resulting in her not sleeping in it at all! I'm not sure what happened. We exclusively co-slept till she was about 6 months old, then she would start out the night in her crib and I'd put her in bed with us when she woke in the middle of the night. When she was 12 months old, I put her in the room with her big sister. She did perfectly fine. There were a few rough nights of adjustment, but on the whole it went well. She slept through the night with no problems. She's 17 months old now and for the last week or so she refuses to sleep in her bed. I can't figure out what's going on. She never gets put in there for time out. We don't subscribe to the Cry It Out method, so she's never been left to cry for more than a few minutes. I just can't figure out what has happened to make her hate the crib so much. I tried to put her in it today while I was putting laundry away and it was awful! As soon as I set her down in it she started SCREAMING and saying "No Mommy! No Mommy!" I didn't even leave her side! I tried giving her a bunch of her favorite toys to play with, thinking that might help her stay in there. No dice.
I wouldn't mind if she slept in our bed still, but she's really restless. She rolls, kicks, and just doesn't want to sleep. She thinks it's a party!
She will sleep in her crib for a few hours if we put her down when she's asleep. If we try to put her down when she's awake it's a disaster.
Any suggestions for getting her to not be so afraid of her crib? She's only 17 months, so I'm not quite sure I'm ready for her to be in a toddler bed.

***This isn't a post about the pros and cons of co-sleeping. I loved co-sleeping and I wouldn't do things differently.*****

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S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is she afraid of it?
Maybe it's something else.
Lumpy mattress?
Odd shadows on the wall?
Noisy plastic under the sheets?
How about trying a mattress on the floor . . . so she can't fall out.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Whatever works I would do. Put the crib or just the mattress next to your bed. Or read a book you like in her room with a book light until she falls asleep. I have slept in my daughter's room on an extra bed so we could each have our own space to sleep. Sleep is so important. In this society we expect kids to be on their own very early while a lot of other societies co-sleep and nurse for the first few years or longer. Do whatever feels right to you.

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J.V.

answers from Raleigh on

My son when he was a newborn absolutely HATED the crib so I tried a Pack-N-Play (Playpen) and he loved it! I used it until he started using a toddler bed and I am currently using one for my daughter that is 15 months old! Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Kansas City on

its just the age. my son started to do the same thing. We HAD to move him into a toddler bed when he was about 20 months old because he was trying to climb out and was literally EATING it he would get so upset. he would just start biting giant chunks out of the wood.

He still doesnt like to lay down in his toddler bed. But its a little easier now. We go in at night and rad a couple books, sing a couple songs and rock in his rocking chair for awhile. Then i put him in his bed, turn out the lights,pop in my head phone and turn on my MP3 player and i work out in his room until he falls asleep! lol. ok, so its not ideal, but it makes sure im getting in at least a half hour work out each day and it makes him comfy enough to fall asleep in his own bed without a fuss.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Maybe she's ready for a more "big girl" bed. She may be hating the rails on it. You can try putting the mattress on the floor and see if she sleeps better that way. If she doesn't stay on her bed, then you'll have to go back to the crib or try a pack and play.
It could just be a phase that she'll get over too.
If she starts climbing out, it's time to get a different type of bed for her.

1 mom found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

Toddler bed? Good for you for being proud of co-sleeping... my daughter sleeps with me but sometimes I get nervous to say it or type it because some people seem to lecture about it. Is there a reason she's so scared of this crib? With sleeping in beds maybe she feels trapped?

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R.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Something to consider is that though you might not be ready for her to be in a toddler bed, she might be. You can't know what has triggered her aversion to her bed -- maybe she had a nightmare. Go with your gut--you ended your post with I'm not quite sure I'm ready for her to be in a toddler bed. But could she be ready?

Why not change the scene? Why not convert her 'baby' room to a big girl room with a big girl bed (explaining all along the way what you're doing together, as if she can understand every word you say. You could start with a mattress on the floor so she doesn't fall out at night. Or you can get her childhood bed now and use those portable side safety bars so she doesn't fall out. Consider taking her shopping for her new bed and also the covers for it -- make it 'hers'. Hang a picture fishline on her wall at her eye level, so you can help her clip her art work on the line and change it -- no tacks. You could also tape pictures on the wall. Put in low shelves so she can learn to put her toys away -- use masking tape to define the space for each toy on each shelf, not a toy box because she won't be able to find what she wants without throwing everything out of it. She may need 'help' managing her big girl room as she moves on to being more independent and as she defines her sense of 'self'. She may be ready mentally and physically to move up even if she isn't two years old, but just not have the language to express herself yet.

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T.D.

answers from Cleveland on

Well, there's a couple of things you could try. If you were interested in continuing co-sleeping you could try sidecaring the crib. This is what's we've done with our 14 month old now that's he bigger and seems to like more space at times when he's sleeping. If that's not something you're interested in you can try putting your LO in a toddler bed or at this age it's probably better to just put the crib mattress on the floor. That way you aren't worrying about your daughter falling out of bed. You could even try putting the mattress in your room for now if you think it will help her with the transition.

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