Help Me Keep My Child from Falling to Her Death...

Updated on February 07, 2012
L.L. asks from Austin, MN
20 answers

I asked this question a few weeks ago, but I need help NOW!! Solutions haven't worked, and here's why.

Okay, so we bought a staircase bunkbed. My goal was to somehow block the bottom of the staircase so my 20 month old can't get up it, because I really don't want to shut her out of her room. Besides that, she can open the door and there's no way to lock it.

We've tried teaching her safety on it, and of course one of us is right there when she's on it...but I want to take a shower!!! I don't want to leave it to a six year old to watch her and keep her safe, obviously. And she can open the door. I put a three drawer dresser in front of it that she can't move...so the little stinker (I say this with love) figured out this morning how to climb THAT and just get over it onto the stairs.

I don't know what to do! I only have one baby gate for now, and if I take it and put it across the door, then she can get into the kitchen...also a big no no...besides the fact that she can open "baby safe" cabinets and drawers, she can climb on top of everything in the kitchen and could potentially get into food she can't have (although it's rare to find in the house these days.)

What would you do? I really wanted creative ideas on blocking the stairs, but I haven't come up with any. The entrance to the stairs is only 21.5 inches wide, so I'm having trouble finding a narrow gate that I could attach to the stairs. I hate the idea of gating her out of her own room, but maybe that's the only solution...ugh...

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

We built a little wooden gate with hinges and a lock and it is IDEAL!!!! :) Keeps her off the stairs, she actually thinks it's fun to open and shut it (when we are supervising, unlock it for her, and allow her to go up and down) and my six year old even thinks it's great that she has a gate on the stairs leading up to her bed...like a castle or something. Perfect perfect perfect!!! Thanks so much to everyone who offered any type of practical suggestion...just the encouragement I needed to get through a few stressful days until we sorted it all out!!!

BTW...in the interim, she also broke our last remaining baby gate. SUPERbaby!! :)

Featured Answers

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Put a new door knob on the door. The lock facing the hallway so that you can lock it from the outside, or put a latch lock at the top of the door for the times that you don't want her to go in.

4 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

Is this a bunk bed with the stairs on the side? Or is it more of a ladder? I would keep teaching her how to properly use the stairs. And/or get another baby gate and use it for the bedroom when you are in the shower or doing something that you can't keep an eye on her.

I am not trying to sound rude, but this is something you should have considered when you bought the bunkbed.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

If you truly don't have a safe place to leave her while you shower I would suggest you either shower before the kids get up, shower in the evening or shower WITH your little stinker.
I often liked to shower in the evening when my husband was home because then I could actually take my time, sometimes even taking a nice long, hot bath! Then I would get into bed next to hubby fresh and clean ;)

6 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Houston on

MrsI, I'm sorry you took my response the wrong way. I am not being sarcastic either. I really am sorry! I didn't mean to be judgemental at all and if I could I'd erase my response if it upset you so much. I think you are a great mom trying to keep your child safe. I know so many moms who wouldn't care and then are end up mad at their kids for making them drive them to the hospital. I just thought you were looking for some sort of device, like a baby gate but for bunkbed stairs and I was just saying I don't think there is one. No, I don't think you are lazy trying to get out of teaching your child safety. Oh gosh, I'm so so sorry I hurt your feelings. Well, I hope you find a solution and your daughter is safe.

6 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

There's these things....called door knob protectors. They are specifically made to keep kids out of bathrooms and rooms they are not safe in. They have them at Walmart, Lowes, I would imagine anywhere that baby safety items are sold.

Baby's R Us sells them:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3502254

Kmart wells them:
http://www.kmart.com/safety-1st-3-pack-grip-n-twist-door-...

One step ahead sells them:
http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...

They do wear out, the rubber inside the knob can get slick after a time and they'll need to be replaced, maybe once each year. But they should be on the bathroom door until she is at least 2 years old.
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And to be totally honest, you put a climbing toy in her bedroom and it is her nature at this age to climb. In child care we are required to have climbing toys inside and outside for toddlers. They have a stage to go through and climbing is integral to every following stage.

I cannot imagine putting something like this in a toddlers room for ANY reason. My friend lost her elementary age child when he fell of the top bunk. He was just there, not doing anything and lost his balance. When he hit the floor he hit his head and was dead.

Bunk beds/raised beds are for much older children. That needs to come out of her room and the mattress put on the floor for now. She will eventually be old enough for this bed but she is not nearly old enough now. The older child is about the right age for it though. Still, it should be locked away from this little one completely. She is at risk around it.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

With my son's loft bed I cut open a box and taped it around the ladder so my daughter couldn't climb the ladder. That worked like a charm.

A friend of mine did the same trick with her son's stair bed. She said it took a few boxes and looked ridiculous, but it kept her toddler off for a while. Her hubby finally built a taller door (not super huge, just tall enough that the wee one couldn't climb over it) with a sliding latch. The latch is on the inside of the door and too high for baby, but not too high for brother, so her older son could get out of his bed, while the younger one couldn't (In the beginning he couldn't get into the bed on his own without help, there was a learning curve). They even made a look out hole so it would be more fun for the older son.

There are also retractable baby gates for smaller spaces. This one might work, assuming your little Houdini can't climb of it. :) (My kids were also escape artists).
http://www.amazon.com/Dreambaby-L820-Retractable-Gate-Whi...

We had to change my son's doorknob and give him a lock. His toddler sister was going in his room and destroying lego scupltures. We added it so he could lock her out and protect his creations. (Obviously there were rules involved.) We have the "key" hanging high outside. A grown up has to let him back in. Adding a lock might be a good solution just for the times when you aren't able to keep a constant eye on her.

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

I would find a way to lock the door. Replace the door handle with one that has a lock from the inside, and keep a keypin out of her reach. Or, what I did for one of our closets, is install an inexpensive hook and eye lock at a level out of her reach so the door can't be opened. Or you could just buy another gate, but by the sound of it she'd probably find a way around that too! Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

Just bite the bullet and buy another gate for the bedroom door. You would only need to have it shut when you can't watch her.

3 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

That's really tough, because my 6 and 8 year olds have bunk beds that their 2 year old brother can get up and down like a pro. The older one's can watch the little one, and I've taught them all about safety. I mean, education is pretty fool proof. Can you baby gate them in another room (with a t.v!!) for 30 minutes uninterrupted shower time? (Not that any of us mom's get 30 minute showers, LOL!!)

My girls have been in bunk beds since they were 1 and 3... when my eldest was 7, she fell off the top bunk. It took her 4 years to finally hurt herself on there... and by 'hurt' I mean 'scared the piss out of her'... don't you know kids bounce?! ;) No, she went to lean back on the railing of the top bunk, but she was (stupidly) SITTING on the railing already, and fell backwards, landed flat on her back and knocked the wind out of her. She recovered in seconds. I was standing RIGHT THERE. My point is that whether you're there or not, accidents can happen! You can't keep them safe ALL the time!

Hope you find a solution... I still say teaching them is going to be your best bet!

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V.F.

answers from Shreveport on

I totally understand. My 2.5 year old is a climber. She also unbuckles the car seat, the car seat belt, climbs out of her crib with the bar up, stands on furniture. She loves to live dangerously. My advice, hmmm, I guess the bunkbed does not come apart and make 2 small beds? I guess I would try to buy another baby gate for that room. Our kids always try to out wit us, you will figure it out! Good luck!

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

My son could reach every ceiling in the house by 19months, broke every child lock. So if you make it a challenge the child who is super curious will figure out a way to get to the top. Pad the floor and tell her to be careful.

3 moms found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Can you somehow make your own gate with a piece of plywood, some hinges and a latch?? Alot of lumber centers will cut the wood for you if you don't have a saw and just take them the measurements you need.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Yes, I know about keeping doors locked with a little one.. This is what we used and it worked great. Easy to install and take down once she was old enough.

http://www.totsafe.com/proddetail.asp?prod=2006

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

The web site One Step Ahead may have narrower sized baby gates that would work for your particular needs. www.onestepahead.com. Also try an online search, perhaps for "narrow door baby gate" etc. Also, I would ask the staff at a baby products store -- I bet they have had this question before!

If she's a veteran climber, I strongly advise anchoring furniture to the walls. Children can get killed by climbing on dressers that then turn over on them, climbing on bookcases or TV stands, etc. TVs are a particular hazard because they can be grabbed and turned over onto a small child. You can get inexpensive but effective furniture anchors online or at any baby products store. Well worth the peace of mind. You do rent, and these must be anchored right into the wall, but tell the landlord it's non-negotiable for safety and offer to patch the wall when you move out, perhaps. That doesn't deal with the bunk bed problem but is something else to think about with a climber.

I'm sorry I didin't see the original post or I would have suggested getting a trundle bed instead of a bunk bed iin your situation. A trundle bed has one bed that slides under the other, so one child is in a regular height twin bed and the other child is in the bed that is almost floor level. Saves a lot of room in the daytime but doesn't have the climbing issues of a bunk. Any chance of storing the bunk beds for a while and going with a trundle bed for your peace of mind?

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A.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I have one of those too, and we love it. My question to you is this, "How does she behave on the bed when you are there?" Does she like to just go up and down the stairs, or does she go onto the top bunk and bounce around? If it's the first option, you should be ok to take a quick 10 minute shower, but if it's the second, I say block off her room only while you are in the shower. Or shower when she is napping. It sounds like she is a climber, and no matter what you do, I don't see a solution for blocking off the stairs. However, have you looked into the possibility of netting the top bunk, like they have for trampolines? I'm not sure if this is even possible, but if it is, it might put you mind at ease a little bit.

2 moms found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

I haven't read the responses and I'm sorry if I repeat anything. I understand the shower thing. I do NOT take a shower with any child awake and unwatched. If you can not take a shower when someone is there with you, then take the 20 month old into the bathroom with you and make her play with toys.

She sounds like a climber to me. Climbers will climb if left alone even for a little bit. I'm NOT calling you lazy. But I am telling you that you need to follow the same rules I would have to. As a paid daycare provider, I can not leave the children unattended longer than a minute to go pee. Even that is half the time with the door wide open and I'm grabbing hand sanitizer on the way out the door. It's not easy or convenient and I often get just one shower every 48 hours or so.

2 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think the gate on the bedroom door while you shower or whenever might be your best bet...other than that, with kids who are this determined it really is the best to teach them how to get up and down them properly and safely...cuz we all know they are gonna be using them even if we don't want them to!

Good Luck!

~We too have bunk beds and I hated the 'worry factor' that comes with them, ugh!

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J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son is/was a crazy climber too. I shudder at the thought of having a ladder to contend with at that age!

Honestly, I've googled and googled and I found this: http://shopping.yahoo.com/14566228-bunk-barrier-bunk-bed-...

But, I'm not sure how practical it is. Can you be diligent about using it daily? If you can even find it, looks like it is sold out on amazon, etc.

Otherwise, I might just move her into your room. It seems like a very sticky situation. I'm sorry, good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

Not sure what exactly you can do to prevent the climbing other than asking your landlord if you can install a lock on that room? I rent as well and actually explained my climber situation to my landlord and for the safety of my child it is best to allow me to have chain locks he cannot reach on all doors and thankfully they approved it without issue. Often when a landlord realizes it's the safety of a child in danger they're pretty flexible with allowing extra locks. Can you try talking with them about this?

I've got a 5 year old climber who can scale, and has been able to scale walls since about that age so I feel your frustration. I hope you're able to find something that works soon for your family.

1 mom found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sure with a 20-month-old in the house, I would not have bought a bunkbed with stairs. I think you should move that out before someone gets hurt.

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