Help, Kindergartener Is Having Self Control Problems

Updated on February 23, 2007
E.F. asks from Chattanooga, TN
5 answers

My son Nathan is 5 going to be 6 in May. He is having trouble concentrating in school, he as his teacher says, has trouble staying on task. An activity or worksheet will be over and he hasn't gotten anything done. We had our parent teacher conference and she said Academically he will do great in 1st grade, but she is worried about his immaturity and ability to do what is asked of him. We have him in Karate hoping that will give him discipline as far as school goes. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can instill good control at school. I don't want him labeled ADD. Thank you all! E.

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E.W.

answers from Chattanooga on

Hi E.,

My name is E. too!! I also have a 5 yar old in kindergarten and we are worried about her abilities also. She does fine on the worksheets but she doesn't seem to retain what she learned. They are talking about keeping her back also and we had our parent teacher meeting yesterday. Her teacher is leaving it up to us whether to leave her back or not because she says that some kindergarteners do not do so well in kindergarten. Then they hit first grade and it all clicks in for them. I am now taking extra time to work with my daughter because she is not reading yet when the rest of her class already is. Her teacher is also going to talk to the school phycologist and see what he thinks. Maybe you could have your childs teacher talk to her school therapist also. My daughter goes to Big Ridge in Hixson. It is a very good school and I do see a lot of improvement in my daughter since preshcool. I think it is a matter of trying to make learning fun for the kids. I am currently experimenting with a lot of different things to help my daughter learn.

Good luck. Send me a message and let me know how it turns out for your son.

E.

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C.R.

answers from Nashville on

I have taught kindergarten for three years and have seen many students who have trouble "staying on task." As hard as it is to hear maybe it would be better for him to stay in kindergarten another year in order for him to mature. I have taught some boys who are labeled with ADD who were just acting like little five year old boys. But I have also taught students who truely need medication to function. In first grade he will be asked to complete his work by himself all day long. Teachers are often busy teaching students to read in small groups while the rest of the class is working. Just know that this situation is as difficult on the teacher as it is on you the parent. Good teachers want what is best for the child. Karate is a great idea!

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B.V.

answers from Nashville on

When my b/g twins were 3 and in preschool, my daughter was doing great, but my son would never want to stay on task, didn't want to go to circle, didn't want to concentrate to do the projects. I had started to worry about him being ADD, but wanted to look into other possible factors first. I had started researching diet and it's affect on behavior, and at the same time his teacher said basically the same things I was thinking.

Without telling his teacher, I changed his diet in the morning. I kept as much sugar out of his morning diet as possible, trying to make sure he got some type of protein every morning. He would have cheese and crackers, a hot dog, eggs. About a week later his teacher came up and asked me what I had done because he was like a different kid.

SO, moral of the story is, I now try to keep sugar out of his diet before school, and we control it quite a bit at home, but still let him have it in limited amounts. It has made a big difference. Some research says that the saying that sugar makes children hyper is a myth, but some also says that it does happen, just not as much as people think. I think it is at least worth looking into if it could make a difference.

Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Nashville on

Hi Ellen,

My daughter Jacqueline will also be 6 in May and is dealing with the same thing. At our last conference her teacher felt like it had alot to do with her age, Academically she does very well, she just chooses not to FOCUS!!!

We did things at home to help "exercise" the "Focus Factor"... my husband and I have made a little game of it too!! I didn't want her to be labeled ADD so we call it the Focus Factor!! We break EVERYTHING down with a TIMER AND REWARDS!! 10 minutes to get dressed, 3 min. to brush teeth, 5 min for potty breaks. She gets so distracted that even going potty is challenging!! We use a sticker chart to reward her for chores and the "daily tasks". She gets a Quarter for each sticker at the end of the week and we let her decide how much she wants to save, spend and share.

And, When there's a huge mess in the bedroom and it's time to clean up, it's the same thing... 10 min for Dolls, 10 minutes for Barbies, 10 for books. The reward... I have a bag of m&ms or skittles, and she gets 10 pieces when she beats the timer. Small things work best because they are easier to keep on hand, and they won't give her a "sugar high" with little things and it is an IMMEDIATE reward, not like a jar or sticker chart that they have to wait to get a reward when it fills up. If she doesn't finish within the time, I reset the timer and the reward is reduced in HALF!! only 5 m&ms! AND BE FIRM!! She will try to argue and negotiate everytime!! I reset the timer and repeat the cycle reducing the reward each time until that item is clean then move on to the next thing. Eventually the ENTIRE room is clean and the satifaction she gets from doing it herself is priceless!! And I will give her the rest of the bag of goodies as a bonus!!

Sorry this is so long, but this is what we have been working on since our first conference, we have our next conference on Thursday next week. I'll find out how well it has worked!!

Good luck!
A.

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M.E.

answers from Mobile on

I recommend looking into changing his diet. I don't know what his diet is, but I can almost guarantee if you cut out sugar and empty carbs, it will help! Check out www.mercola.com for more ideas. I have pasted a small portion of one article you might want to look at. Good luck!
Dr. Mercola's Comment:

Well over one million American children are on drugs for ADHD.

Clearly drugs are not the answer for children with ADHD. There are so many better options.

If they only did the following three steps, the great majority would notice amazing improvement in their ADHD:

Omega-3 oils, specifically fish oil, is probably the single most important nutrient for a child with ADHD to take.

Next they should only drink water as their beverage, taking care to avoid fruit juices, soda and milk.

Restrict sugars and grains, which cause insulin levels to be elevated.

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