HELP! I Need Advice... Planning Family.

I guess my first question would be, can you and your husband afford you to be a SAHM? If yes, then consider looking at related fields for part time work.

I have been a working mom for the last 17 years. I never aspired to be a SAHM, although I took extended maternity leaves (6 months and 9 months). During that time, I learned that I simply wasn't very good at it, despite passionately loving my kids. When I returned to work, I found excellent day care and, learned to live in the moment. When I was at work (high school teacher), I was passionate about work. When I was at home, I was passionate about being at home. Because I could do both, I was a better teacher AND a better mom.

Bottom line, happy moms make happy families. Follow your heart.

Start your family if that is what you want and things fall into place. That is
about all the advice I can give you. You may decide you absolutely do not
want to work, or you may find out that being home all day is not for you.

I'm a retired police officer. It is possible to job share in some departments. But that does mean you have to first get established as a full time employee.

You might be able to get a part time clerk position in courts or in a law office. You definitely could be a part time security officer, tho the pay is low. I did that after I retired. Corrections may have part time positions.

Law enforcement is a broad field. Perhaps the school you attended would have some suggestions.

There are other fields that require only short term training that you could prepare for. Look at a list of available course as several schools.

I've seen a lot of women go through what you're going through. They think they want to keep working once they have their baby, but once they have that baby and experience a mother's love for the first time, the thought of leaving that baby is suddenly a devastating thought. It's surprising how much one can love a little person. My daughter's pediatrician had a few children, and she ended up choosing to stay home because she valued it so much - and she was a DOCTOR!!

I think you do what feels right to you. I'm a SAHM, and it's my dream job. It's also been my hardest job, though the most rewarding. I would do anything and everything I could do to stay home with my children. My husband feels the same way and does all he can so that he's the sole provider so that our children can have me taking care of them. For me it's an amazing life to be a full-time momma. I homeschool as well and love it. My husband loves it too and it fits us well and helps contribute to so much happiness that we feel.

If you're considering it, you'll probably find yourself feeling it even strongly once you hold that baby in your arms. I can't imagine having someone else spending the days with my babies...seeing the first time they roll over, sit up, walk, etc... i treasure those moments. I love to hear them and play with them through out the day. They are my babies and my dream to raise.

On the flip side, I know women who feel completely opposite in that they don't feel fulfilled in stay at home, and they find a lot of fulfillment in working outside the home. I think it depends on the person.

Follow your gut and do what you feel fits you and know that if you choose to be a SAHM, even after all the schooling, it's totally worth it! Education is great for motherhood.

I haven't read the other replies. Just something to consider -

You've already spent a considerable amount of time and money getting trained for a career, although it can never fully be lost, it is somewhat of a waste if you don't use it.

You can start a career now, and then stop for several years to be a SAHM, however, if you never get started in your career, years from now it will be almost impossible to start in that field unless you receive more training.

Although you've done research that shows your field is FT, that's true of most careers. However, if you start a position you may find that if you're a valued employee, something can be arranged.

Good luck with your decision.

You won't know, either way, until you do it. I'd go ahead and get a job. You really can't know if you'll like the work until you do it. And you have no idea how long it will be until you are a mother. It could be 9.5 months or several years at this point. Don't worry about the "plan". Life is what happens while we're busy planning.

I worked with a young woman several years ago. She was engaged to be married. Her "plan" was that she was getting married, having a baby, quitting her job, and having five more babies!! Well, surprise, she got pregnant soon after the wedding, had a horrible pregnancy experience, and was dreading staying home and missing being at work.

You have to be willing to take life as it comes, and to change your plan with new information.

You're over-thinking this. Planning is good of course, but take it one step at a time. Law enforcement is typically not a 9-5 M-F kind of career, so you might end up having more flexibility than you think. Start your career, start your family and cross each bridge as you come to it. If and when you have your first child, you may decide that being home is a good choice for you and your family. Or you may decide that working and using childcare makes more sense. You could love working in your chosen field and have a rewarding career with excellent benefits, or you may hate it, or get laid off, or not find work in that area at all. You just never know every option - so take steps towards what you DO know that you want, and when it comes time to make decisions, make them.

Well it sounds like you are not even pregnant yet. Not making light of your situation but why not try working in your desired field and then deciding whether or not you want to quit and SAHM when your first baby arrives. And who knows, possibly after you've worked for a while and your employer learned to value you as an employee, they may work with you to give you the part time that you will want after the baby arrives. Good luck.

I'm an advocate of waiting to have children. I had my first child at 29, after having been married for 9 years. It was the best decision. So many of my girl friends got married young and had kids right away. Now they are ALL struggling financially. Their kids are older and now my friends are all trying to go back to school to get into a career. I just see how hard it is for them and really feel bad for them.
When my husband and I finally had our first child, we had plenty of money saved because I had been working and saving my pay check for years. We also had the opportunity to travel - Italy, Spain, and all over the Carribbean. We waited and saved because I thought I wanted to be a SAHM or at least have that option. We just had our second baby 6 months ago... and it turns out that being a SAHM wasn't for me. I am still working full time. Yes, it sucks at times and I do want more time for my children. And maybe I'll decide to stay home in a couple of years. But, at least I have given myself that option.
That being said, I'm sure there are many good reasons for having children when you are younger. It just wasn't for me and we are very glad we waited. If I were you, I'd try to get a job and see where it takes you. You might love it and decide to wait two or three years or you might hate it and decide to stay home. But at least you will have given yourself a chance to experience working in a job you could potentially love.

Work in your field and sock away that money while living on your husband's salary only if that's doable (practice for being a SAHM). If there is a way to focus on child/family etc., in your field, perhaps that might be a way to go. You never know how long it'll take to get pregnant so don't "waste" the time worrying. I don't know if you are entrepreneurial, but if you've ever wanted to own your own business, and if law-enforcement is a passion of yours, you may be inspired by your career to start a business that combines your work passion with parenting. Give yourself the time to let ideas percolate - hit the library, small business center, etc. Talk to SAHM's. Think positively-you may create something fantastic!

None of us that respond to this post can tell you what to do. Everyone is giving great advice, but it is what they would do in your position. We are all very different people and respond to situations differently. My suggestion would be to talk to a SAHM or spend some time with one if you have not done so already. I am a SAHM and really enjoy it. Some people have a very hard time.
Really, you just need to go with your gut on this one. Only you know how you feel. Just make sure you know what you are getting into either way. I wish you the best of luck. If you have any questions for me as a SAHM mom, let me know.

I am not sure what exactly you want to do in the law enforcement field, but if you want to be a police officer there is the option some places of being a reserve officer, sometimes they are paid and sometimes they are not. My husband is a police officer and has been a police chief for a couple of years. In the town we live in we currently have a reserve officer who is a paid officer who works about 20 hrs a week. He does not receive any extra benefits such as health insurance. I'm not sure where you live, but you may have more options than you realize right now. I hope this helps you.

Hi C.,
There is no reason why you can't change your mind from what you thought you wanted to do to what you want to do now. Don't become a slave to ideas you used to have. If you want to have children and stay home with them, then do it! Be thankful that you realized your change of mind now rather than when the children were already grown. You can't get those years back. Go forward with confidence and rejoice that you have the option. If you want to pursue something later, then go for it. Career fields will always be there, children grow up and move on. Blessings!