Help, DD Driving Me Nuts!

Updated on June 25, 2008
L.S. asks from Alexandria, VA
21 answers

My 2 1/2 year old, out of boredom and possibly anger, will pull all of her clothes out of her dresser, all her drawers, cubby holes and small cupboard. When we put her down for her nap or at bedtime, if she doesn't fall asleep immediately, she will take all her clothes and put them on the floor. Sometimes I think it's to play in the cupboards with her toys, she puts her babies to bed in there and like to put things in and take them out. I get angry and we talk about it, I make her do two cupboards, sock and panties and pajamas. She cannot leave her room until those two cupboards are put back in order. But this still leaves a lot for me to do. I've tried taking her dresser out of her room, but we just moved here and live in a much smaller home so that will not work here. She has been doing this for about six months. She gets in trouble every time, she has to put it back before she is allowed to do anything, she cries everytime and promises she will not do it again. I'm not sure what else I can do. Please help.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all of your advice. I've put away most of her clothing, only a few items are left that she can certainly clean up all by herself. I found a child lock to secure the dresser to the wall and will install that today. I will also buy some drawer locks for the drawers and cupboard. I think I will also find some chores for her to do around the house. I already make her put her clothes in the laundry baskets and she "helps" me do laundry all the time. So more chores are also on the agenda. Thanks again for all the responses, I appreciate it.

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M.G.

answers from Washington DC on

My 2 1/2 yr old daughter loves emptying her clothes drawers too. Usually she'll pull everything out so she can decide what to change into. We go through a lot of outfits in 1 day. At first I got frustrated, but now I only have about 5 sets of clothes in there so she can't make too big a mess. Also, forget refolding them when they go back in. I stack 'em up and in they go.
She also have a few friends that are obsessed with changing their clothes constantly, and leaving them out. It must be one of those 'phase' things.
Good luck.

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C.T.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter used to change her clothes thirty times a day and empty her drawers out in the process. I finally began hanging her clothes up on small hangers so they were out of her reach. I left a few things in the drawers like jammies, panties and socks so that it was not a huge mess and was easy to clean up together. She got to pick things out and play but it was much more manageable.

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A.P.

answers from Richmond on

Your daughter is too young to understand this is a bad thing to do. It sounds like she is caring for her baby dolls. Does she leave the clothes and other items in her room? If yes, she is caring for her dolls as her mother cares for her. Do you have to put everything back right away? My guess is if you entered into her play world and helped her with her caring of the dolls she would love it. My guess is also the less you focus on this behavior the less she will do it. The only way children learn at this age to do tasks is to model after their caregivers, which are usually their parents.

She sounds precious! Maybe you could ask her to come in her room when you are putting away her clothes or toys, etc and have her do the same for her dolls while you are doing for her.

Hope these thoughts are helpful. Children are amazing. When you tell her you are angry, it probably scares her because she is not sure what this is or why she is the cause. Children ages 21/2-3 up to 5-6 years old use play as a way to understand the world they are in as well as to work through issues they are having.

Enjoy her; they grow up fast.

A.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

L., these suggestions are great, especially giving her her own special box or drawer for her special stuff and using latches so she is denied access to drawers etc., but I want to re-emphasize what one person mentioned just briefly -- besides using childproof latches on drawers etc., please, please first secure the dresser and cupboard etc. to the wall with a good child safety anchor (available at places like Babies R Us, and online) as soon as possible. Working on this behavior will take some time, and in the meanwhile, you do not want her to end up with the dresser etc. tipping over on her, injuring her or worse. It can and does happen. And when you put the child latches on the drawers, she is likely to tug and pull and get angry that she can't get in, which will lead to her tugging harder -- a recipe for tipping over the dresser or cupboard. I do think latches are a great idea, but they should be coupled with securing the furniture to the walls first. Just a safety tip so she won't be hurt in the struggles ahead!

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A.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I never really had this problem with my 2 children, although my youngest is only 20 months. I did have a problem with the kitchen though. Always going in all the drawers pulling out my utensils and getting into the fridge. I bought a latch for the fridge that is works great my 3 and a half year old can't open it. I imagine that it would work for anything, its made by safety 1st and it is called the refridgerator latch I believe. Maybe you could putt latches on all the drawers and give her a couple of cardboard boxes stacked up to play in.

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J.L.

answers from Washington DC on

We went through this with my older son when he was little. Put some child safety locks on them. Then she can't get in them, and you can. Problem solved.

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A.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Have you tried getting her a samll shelf box or any child size items for her dolls. I bought my little girl a $20 3 shelf rubber made stacker, she picked the color and when we put it in her room i made a bid deal about how she could put all her dolly items clothes and such in the drawers and play with it all she wants, this way it is her mess and clean up is a sinch, its funny i would just open the drawers up and throw the stuff in any wich way she would go behind me and clean it her way, when i noticed that i told her that thast how mommy likes to keep her stuff so if she wants me to keep her babys stuff clean she has to keep away from her drawers and i will keep them neat, since this i have had no problem she feels like a big girl and has a responsaility to keep up with her 3 crawers for her babys. Hope this can help you.
A.

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L.A.

answers from Charlottesville on

My now 3 year old daughter has done the same thing since she was 2 1/2 when we moved her to a toddler bed and she could access her entire room at naptime. She rips everyting and I mean EVERYTHING apart during nap time. I have also tried yelling, time out, etc and nothing does any good.

I am sorry I don't have any advice but I feel your aggrivation!!

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E.C.

answers from Washington DC on

It's a phase. Sometime ignoring the behavior and asking her to help you put things away will be easier than stressing yourself.

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A.T.

answers from Washington DC on

maybe if you have a place like near her bed to put her babies to sleep at nap and bedtime. Tell her her drawers are for her clothes.
Maybe you can find baby clothes for your daughter babies to put away in the cabinets.
Put yourself into here shoes. Where would a logical place be for her clothes and her toy baby's things.

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R.T.

answers from Dover on

I don't know how big your daughter's dressers are but we put my daughters in her closet one so she wouldn't do what your daughter is & two to make more room in her room.

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M.W.

answers from Washington DC on

What about getting her a little doll bed or even a cardboard box can do the trick for that purpose. She could have a lot of fun decorating the box for her baby. If she has an alternative she may not need to use the dresser in that way. Good Luck.
M.

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A.H.

answers from Norfolk on

My son has been doing this for almost a year. In the old dresser he had, I put 2 child locks on each drawer, one on each side. Just the cheap cabinet lock kind. They were too far apart for him to reach both at the same time to get the drawers open.

Before that occurred to me, I just made him pick up all of his clothes and put them back in the drawers. It took forever, and of course the clothes never got put away folded again, but it was the only thing I can think of.

My son has a new dresser now, without the locks on the drawers, and he apparently has forgotten that he used to like pulling stuff out, because he leaves them alone. I don't know if he just grew out of it, or what, but it's stopped finally.

Will your dresser fit in the closet? If so, you might try that.

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C.T.

answers from Norfolk on

my 2 year old son does the same thing, and i believe my girls did it at that age, i know its a pain, but i think its just a stage they go through. keep your head up , im sure it will end soon.

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J.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Good advice with the drawer locks for all the things that you want to stay nice. However, I would add "make her clean-up whatever she messes up". It's her room, and aside from it potentially being dangerous, then she should have to clean it. She's not too young for this valuable lesson. If she is messing up things that she cannot clean-up, then those things need to be put somewhere she cannot access them in the first place. That is as far as I would step in as a parent. Don't yell or get upset, as this feeds her desire for the attention. Simply tell her to clean up her mess and that she cannot do other fun things until the job is finished. It's simple and direct, and she will get the point. It may not stop the behavior (because she may like "reorganizing" and/or giving her dolls a place to play), but if she has to clean up after herself then who cares?? Let her play and/or throw that little fit if she has to because she'll have to deal with it after the fact. No matter what, I would stop helping her to fix her mess or she will continue this for bids on your time and also some control. Take the control away from her, and you will both benefit. Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

girl, childproof all the drawers, but the buttom one and make sure dresser is attached to the wall. If that's the worst thing she does, I am sorry but you have it good:)

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A.G.

answers from Norfolk on

My son has started doing things like that too. I would try either putting her down in a different room for naps or even better put her down for her nap in a playard so that she can't get out to pull anything out. Give her one doll and a baby blanket for the doll or something like that and let her know that she can take naps in her own bed when she learns to keep things where they belong. This has worked best for my son.

Good luck.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

First, try telling ehr she can only do this in one or two drawers, the ones she can easily clean up afterward. I don't think she is really doing aything wrong, you haven't really suggested it is tantrum behavior, just playing. Why do you think it is driven by anger? If she were tearing the clothes out and screaming at you, then I would say you have a different problem.

She probably keeps doing it because, she enjoys the taking out AND the cleaning up (even though you don't). Cleaning it up has become part of the play. It sounds like normal 2 year old behavior - my daughter loved to unpack her drawers and fold hand stack her clothes at that age and sort them into bags and other containers, etc. Two year olds are into pretend and mimicing what mom and dad do (like laundry). Set limits. I would just let her play in a couple and restrict the rest. If this is just playing, try reasoning with her - only play in these drawers or no playing at all. I don't know why that wouldn't work. Even empy out a drawer or two and use it for her baby doll clothes and other pretend toys to encourage ehr to have a play space of her own. If it doesn't work, or it's really a big deal to you, here are a couple of suggestions.

Childproof with baby locks on each drawer. Leave one open, and tell her she can play in that one but only if she cleans up afterward. Otherwise, temporarily move the clothes out and turn the dresser against the wall.

Is she napping and just doing this before or is she not napping and playing instead? She is too young to be giving up naps, so I would focus more on helping her get herself to sleep if she is strugging. Consider moving her nap later by 30 minutes or so, she may just not be tired enough. Put a bunch of books n her bed and tell her she can read until she is sleepy. That would solve two problems, sleeping and the mess.

Whatever you do, please make sure she can't pull the dresser over on herself while playing. If it is tall enought that she is pulling on the drawers or climbing it, please secure it to the wall.

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J.K.

answers from Washington DC on

sounds like she is doing it for attention. Even negative attention is attention.
You can get the same type of drawer locks as you can get for cabinets.
You can keep her door shut (if you need to get a little hook lock for the top of the door, if she knows how to open the door.)

It sounds a lot like a cry for attention- whether it is because of another sibling, a new area, etc. When our daughter did this with her toys/shelves= we figured it was time to give her chores each day. (she was 2 or 2 1/2) so we gave her things to do like help "fold" laundry, help load the dishwasher, help put clothes away, wipe tables down, sweep, etc.... it is attention and it teaches her to pitch in. :)good luck, we are with ya

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J.F.

answers from Washington DC on

I would "give" her a drawer or two (or cubby) just for her. She can do whatever she would like with the drawers. That happened in our kitchen and as soon as my kids had their "own" drawer to play with - put toys, etc., they didn't touch the other drawers. It is a drawer at their height to it's easy to access. Is she playing dress up with any of these clothes? Also, I think you might be able to buy drawer locks. That might help you both! :) Also, maybe putting some books in her bed with her so if she doesn't fall asleep right away she has something to do. While it is frustrating, try not to get too angry about it. She is only 2 1/2 and probably thinks all of those clothes are there for her! (even though you've told her otherwise!) Good luck.

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